If we be blessed.......

We'll see fall. Those of us smack dab in the middle of the US really ain't got much choice on seasons. Those of you further South, maybe ain't got seasons. (I Googled "Do tree leaves fall in Hawaii?"..  "Nobody hibernates. Island trees don't drop their leaves, they flush with new growth.")

According to some site I read, Fall is the favorite season of American folks with 29% that prefer an autumnal climate. (Summer 25%, Winter 7%, and whateverintheheck that leaves for Spring.)

I'm on Facebook. I have friends on Facebook that list Winter as their favorite season.  I think they are nuts, but isn't everyone on Facebook nuts?

Thieving again, I found 'have a gourd time'... 'orange you glad it's autumn'... 'I only have pies for you'... 'Hay there'..  'I'm so corn-fused.' ... 'Let's just fall it a day'....   'Don't sweat the fall stuff.'

'Leaf me alone'...  'If money grew on trees we'd be raking it in.'.  'Don't leaf me hanging.'

'Give em pumpkin to talk about.'..  'Let's get lit'..  'Smashing pumpkins.'  'Pumpkin pi.'

Closets get a makeover..  Short sleeves to long..  Sweaters, jackets are hung... Shorts tucked away, long pants now the thing.  I wouldn't know but I surmise thongs are put away and granny panties are in order so buttcheeks are protected from cold. Save room in the undie drawer for longjohns.

I usedta feel sorry for the deer and only having rut season to you-know. Now, we lonesome George creepy geezers are kinda envious and would like our (few) day(s) in the hay as well. (That's not an advertisement and I never said the word pitchfork.  You are sick Victor.  Eh, mebbe.)

It gets darker earlier thus you youngsters get prime time at restaurants, bars, plays, movies, yada because us old farts can't see the damn white lines in the dark. Also, fall/darkness brings falls and whilst that may keep ER docs, nurses employed, it ain't a good thing for AARP.  Fall brings hoedowns, but not of the ER ilk, I'm talking the fiddle ilk.

Snowbirds get the RV ready to get the hell outta Dodge... us clingers that stay home tuck the mower, shovels, garden hoses in the corner in the garage, and, tune up the $650 snow blower we use twice a year.

In Fall, baseaball teams are whittled down to two... Football is the rage, all bundled up to watch, and those of us that forgot to pack a blankie or bring a stadium seat are guaranteed pink buttcheeks thanks to aluminum bleachers.

Bonfires, hayrides, pumpkins, cornstalks, indian corn, corn mazes, trick or treaters.

The trees, yes, they do turn perty.... oranges.. yellows.. deep red.. then the damn leaves fall (it's fall).. and we either mulch 'em, compost 'em, or, blow 'em over into the Simmon's yard.

We Midwesterners always announce "I love the seasons" and we'll leave it to you to figure out if our fingers are crossed behind our back.

Some of my favorite things about Fall...  The inside.  You can generally see your breath which correlates to still living.  The pure joy and excitement of changing the battery in the smoke detector on 'Fall back' day. Those fairly rare pleasant days where you can take the golf clubs outta the garage, go play and pull a muscle cause yain't exercised since July. Yum huh?

OK, truth be known, I love, except for the fact I get another year older every October. OK, I don't mind that either, I know we still here are blessed. I love the World Series.  I love the invigoration one is given between the time you exit the house and the car heater starts to get warm.

I DO love the trees and their changes. I've seen God's glory of the Aspens in Colorado, a bucket list is a trip to Cooperstown in the fall which would include a long drive in Upstate New York to see the colors.

I don't care what Tyreek Hill or Sammy Watkins say, we've got the best damn quarterback in the land right here in river city...... as well as the best, loudest, fans. Red Fridays tug at one's heart.

Frost on the pumpkin (of which Google tells us they can still live for awhile even if the vine dies, but, once it hits 20 degrees, huh uh.)  Frost on the golf green, and once it melts it's game on.

Ladies with pretty red noses. Family gatherings that include TWO pieces of pie.  Going to the gym, and you go 'shhhh, listen'... and you discover there ain't no snotnoses cause they're all in school, said lovingly of course.

The end of Fall is kinda drab, colorless, El Boro...... mebbe just like this specific blog. Tune in tomorrow, when I won't post one... yeah, that'll be better!

Love, Victurd

*Tune in in a few months and we'll dicuss that wonderful thing Winter, as well as cuss those that still have droopy dried up pumkins on their front porch in December.