Saturday, May 9, 2026

You have the right to remain silent.........

And, of course, I do too, but, we all know that ain't happening.  Sorry, not sorry.
 
Ooga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga  
 
Wiki tell me this song (Hooked On A Feeling) was written by Mark James and first recorded by BJ Thomas in 1968 (Remember 1968?  Holy Smokes!  VietNam, the year we lost MLK and Robert F. Kennedy.. Apollo 8 circled the Moon, LBJ "ain't running again" and the year ended with Richard Nixon elected as our President.
 
Where was I?   Ooga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga
 
Oh yeah.  BJ's version reached #5 on the charts in 1969...  Blue Swede, not to be confused with Elvis.. borryed it. (I ain't sure how you'd spell that, borrowed it, but, some folks pronounce it "Bar-E-ed".)  Well, Blue Swede borry'ed it from BJ and Mark.. .added their Ooga-Chaka and by golly that was enough in 1974 to get it up to #1 on the Charts.
 
Victor?  Yes?  Is there a point to all this? Did like, you just get here, or course there's no point, there never is, but, your hand ain't superglued to that mouse, MOVE IT (not to be confused with Gomer's Sgt Carter) if you so desire.
 
This blog is, without plan, which happens oft times.
 
Since I last wrote.....
 
I went an entire day without a beer.  NO!  Uh huh. Made it, how do you like me now?  Not real well Victor, this is kinda a love/hate thing.
 
That's life (not to be confused with Frank) ain't it?
 
I watched a video on Facebook... entitled "If I hadn't recorded it, I wouldn'ta believed it"..  A golf course, by a lake.  Outta the lake walks a ten foot gator.  He (presuming he, dunno) takes five baby steps (They got short arms, don't think they can take bigass steps) grabs something with it's snout.. tilts head back, ya watch it go down the neck into his belly.  Commenters were like "OMG!!.. "What was it?"  Dead fish? Ten more guesses before it was jointly decided it was a turtle.  Then some calming Floridian sprinkled Valium on the conversation, "In Florida, we call it Tuesday."  
 
Read kind of a tearjerker story about Mickey Mantle in 1962.  (Remember 1962? The Cuban Missile Crisis had us practicing life under a school desk.. BJ Thomas was 20. "Welcome to WalMart" happened, proving the first greeter was born in the 1800's, "You mean I can get dog food, diapers, a prescription AND some culottes in one trip?" Uh huh, the biggest retail earthquake until Bezos came along many years later.  Oh, and screams of "GET A HAIRCUT" came from crewcut dads as The Beatles and Bob Dylan first surfaced.  Where was I?  Ooga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga
 
Oh yeah, Mantle. Mantle was 30 by then.  Batting practice, Yankee Stadium. Mick's body, particularly his legs/knees, were in horrible shape by then, thanks to all out play, bad offield choices, much. (And, Wiki say "The osteomyelitis that had been eating away at his left leg since high school had gotten worse. Every morning he'd wake up and the first thing he'd see was blood seeping through the bandages wrapped around his knee.")  Mick hit 40 balls, stopped mid 41st pitch.. started walking to the outfield corner...  A gent in a wheelchair had been sitting, watching. (TBC)
 
Mick leaving brought Yogi's "Where ya going Mick?" No answer, he kept limping to the outfield fence, toward the wheelchair guy.  Elston Howard lowered his glove to watch.. Maris stepped out of the on deck circle.. Kubek froze halfway between 2nd and 3rd watching...  The closer Mick got, he noticed the man was missing a leg from the knee down.  Turns out, the guy's name was James Edward Keller, buddies called him Jimmy.  He grew up three blocks from Yankee Stadium, usedta sneak into the bleachers and watch all the greats..
 
Mick spoke first.. "How long  you been here?"  A couple hours, I didn't mean to cause no trouble.   
 
I'm just gonna copy/paste from the article, they write lots better anyways..  Bear with me... And, it's long. So, go smoke a cig... pee... you can even leave, woudn't blame you..
 
"That's not" Mickey paused, looked down at Jimmy's empty pant leg, then back at his face. "Korea?" "Heartbreak Ridge, 1951." Mickey nodded slowly. He knew that battle. Everyone knew that battle. 3,700 casualties over 5 weeks, one of the bloodiest fights of the war. "Same year I started with the Yankees," Mickey said.
"While you were on that ridge, I was playing my first World Series." "I know," Jimmy said. "I followed the whole thing from the hospital. They had a radio in the ward. Every time you came up to bat, the whole place went quiet. Even the guys who were dying, they'd listen. You gave us something to think about besides the pain." Mickey felt something crack open inside his chest.
 
He'd heard praise before. He'd heard cheers from 50,000 people. He'd read newspaper articles calling him the greatest player alive. None of it had ever felt like this. "What's your name?" Mickey asked. "James Keller, Jimmy." Mickey smiled slightly. "Like Charlie Keller, King Kong Keller." "Yeah, my dad named me after him. Never got to meet him, but" Jimmy trailed off. "Hold on," Mickey said. He turned and called over his shoulder, "Yogi, get Charlie on the phone." Yogi Berra just stared at him. "What?" "Charlie Keller, call him. Tell him to get down here." Then Mickey did something that made 40 Yankees players and Jimmy Keller go completely silent.
 
Mickey Mantle, the biggest star in baseball, lowered himself to the ground in front of the fence, not standing, not looking down at Jimmy from above, sitting on the grass eye level like they were just two guys talking. The pain in Mickey’s knee was excruciating. Sitting down meant he’d have to stand back up, which would hurt even worse, but Mickey didn’t care.

 “I need to tell you something,” Mickey said quietly, “and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way.” Jimmy waited. “I spend every morning wrapping up my leg because I’ve got a bone disease that’s been eating me alive since I was 17. Every step I take feels like somebody’s stabbing me with a knife.

And you want to know what I do? I complain. I drink. I feel sorry for myself. I act like I’m the unluckiest guy in the world. Mickey paused, looked at Jimmy’s empty pant leg again. But I’ve still got both my legs. I didn’t lose one saving my buddies on some ridgeline in Korea. I lost mine playing a game. And here you are, sitting in 94° heat for 3 hours just to watch us practice.

Not asking for anything, not complaining, just watching. Jimmy didn’t know what to say. He’d never heard Mickey Mantle or any ball player talk like this. You know what I think about before every game? Mickey continued. I think about how much my leg hurts, how many painkillers I’m going to need, how many more years keep doing this.

 But you know what I should be thinking about? He pointed at Jimmy. Guys like you. Guys who gave up everything so I could play a stupid game in front of 50,000 people. You’re the one who deserves to be out here, not me. Jimmy felt his throat tighten. Mickey, I didn’t I mean, it wasn’t like that. I was just doing my job.

 And you did it without complaining, without asking for anything. That’s more courage than I’ll ever have. Behind them, Roger Maris had tears running down his face. Elston Howard was wiping his eyes with his glove. Tony Kubek had sat down on the grass because his legs wouldn’t hold him up anymore. They’d all seen Mickey Mantle hit 500 home runs.

 They’d seen him play World Series games with broken bones. They’d seen him drunk, angry, hurting, fighting through pain that would have ended any other player’s career. But they’d never seen this. They’d never seen Mickey Mantle humble himself in front of another man, acknowledge that maybe he wasn’t the toughest guy in the world after all.

 Jimmy Keller looked at Mickey Mantle sitting on the grass in front of him. This legend, this icon, and he said the seven words that would haunt Mickey for the rest of his life. You make the pain worth it. Mickey closed his eyes. When he opened them, they were wet. Say that again. Every time I watch you play, Jimmy said, his voice steady now.

Every home run, every stolen base, every time you run full speed, even though I can see you’re hurting, you make all of it worth it. My leg, the war, all of it. Because I get to live in a world where Mickey Mantle plays baseball, and that’s a world worth fighting for. Mickey Mantle cried right there in front of 40 teammates, in front of Jimmy Keller, in front of God and everyone.

 He didn’t hide it, he didn’t apologize, he just let it happen. After a long moment, Mickey stood up. The pain in his knee was so bad he almost fell, but Yogi was suddenly there helping him up. Then Elston, then Roger. Four pairs of hands holding their captain steady. Mickey looked at Jimmy. I want you here for the game tonight. Both games.

 Front row behind the dugout. And after the game, you’re coming into the clubhouse. I want you to meet everyone. Mickey, I can’t I don’t have tickets. You do now. Yogi’s going to take care of it. And tomorrow, and the next day, and every game we play at home this season, you’re our guest. Jimmy started to protest, but Mickey held up his hand.

 Please, let me do this. I need to do this. That night, James Edward Keller sat in the front row behind the Yankees dugout. Before the first pitch, Mickey Mantle walked over to the fence, handed him a baseball signed by every player on the team, and said, “This is from all of us. Thank you for your service.

” Mickey went four for seven that night across both games. Two home runs, five RBIs. The Yankees swept the doubleheader. After the second game, Mickey brought Jimmy into the clubhouse. Charlie Keller, King Kong Keller himself, had driven down from Maryland. He spent an hour talking to his namesake, sharing stories about the old Yankees teams.

 But that’s not the part of the story that mattered. The part that mattered happened in the trainer’s room after everyone else had left. Mickey was sitting on the training table getting his knee re-wrapped for the hundredth time. Jimmy had wheeled himself in, unsure if he should be there. Can I ask you something? Jimmy said. Anything.

 Does it ever stop hurting? Mickey looked at him for a long moment. Then he shook his head. No, it doesn’t. How do you keep going? Mickey thought about that. I used to think it was because I didn’t have a choice, because baseball was all I knew. But after today, after talking to you, I think it’s because pain is the price of doing something that matters.

 And if you’re going to hurt anyway, you might as well hurt for something worth it. Jimmy nodded. That’s what I told myself in Korea. Every day in that hospital, the pain means you’re still alive, and being alive means something. You’re right, Mickey said quietly. It does. James Edward Keller came to 63 Yankees games that season.

 He never missed a home game for the rest of Mickey’s career. When Mickey retired in 1968, Jimmy was there. When Mickey was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1974, Jimmy was there. When Mickey Mantle died in 1995, James Edward Keller was at the funeral. He was 77 years old by then, still in that wheelchair still wearing that Army jacket with the Purple Heart.

 A reporter asked him what Mickey Mantle meant to him. Jimmy looked at the reporter and said, “Mickey Mantle taught me that courage isn’t about not feeling pain, it’s about what you do with the pain. He hurt every single day of his career, but he never quit. He showed me that the pain could mean something if you used it right.

 He made my sacrifice worth it, and I’ll never forget that.” The story of Mickey Mantle stopping batting practice for a veteran in a wheelchair never made the newspapers in 1962. There were no cameras there, no reporters, just 40 ball players and one veteran who witnessed something real. But the story spread anyway, through the clubhouses of Major League Baseball, through veterans organizations, through  families who heard about the day Mickey Mantle sat on the ground in front of a disabled vet and cried.

 Because sometimes the most important moments in  sports aren’t the home runs or the championships. Sometimes they’re the moments when an athlete remembers that he’s human, that his pain isn’t special, that there are people who’ve sacrificed more, hurt more, and never complained about it. Mickey Mantle hit 536 home runs. He won seven World Series.

 He was a three-time MVP. But the greatest thing Mickey Mantle ever did happened on a July afternoon in 1962 when he stopped batting practice, limped across the outfield grass, and sat down in front of a man who’d given his leg for his country. Because that day, Mickey Mantle learned that courage isn’t measured in home runs or batting averages.

It’s measured in what you’re willing to sacrifice, what you’re willing to endure, and whether you have the humility to recognize that someone else’s pain might be greater than your own. If this story of humility and respect between two men who understood pain moved you, remember that the greatest moments in sports history aren’t always the ones that make the highlight reels

Sometimes they’re the quiet moments, the human moments, the moments when someone stops trying to be a legend and just tries to be decent. Mickey Mantle was a flawed man. He drank too much, he was unfaithful, he had a temper. But on July 18th, 1962, Mickey Mantle was exactly what America needed him to be, a man who understood that true strength isn’t about never feeling pain, it’s about what you do with the pain you can’t avoid.  

 Ooga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga  

I can't stop this feeling...  Deep inside of me......

Life is wonderful.  We are human.  In spite of discourse now, in times past, and probably into the future - there is no denying, we live in the greatest Country in the World..  Freedom.  Thanks to folks like Jimmy, and many of you.

 God Bless,

Victor  

 

 

 

 

 
 

Friday, May 8, 2026

Usedta coulda........

Push up, every morning - ten times!
Push up, starting low...
Once more on the rise, nuts to the flabby guys!
Go, you chicken fat go, go away!
Go you chicken fat go!
 
Can't no more.......
 
Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the crowd,
Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks, I don't care if I never get back  
 
Can't no more.......Well, I guess we can 'till 2031, then it'll be....
 
Take me out to the Hallmark, take me down(town) to the crown..
Buy me some ornaments and Christmas wrap
We wanted baseball (Ray), they gave us this crap? 
 
Usedta coulda... feel this way.  Don't no mo'....  oh, a tad mebbe.  Coulda, coulda been worse (Oracle Health Field...  JE Dunn dun' building another rebuild small market team..  Garmin, GPS Field "We'll get you to parking, and, home to Liberty, Lees Summit, Lenexa too."
 
Now I think it's kinda cool.  2031 ain't about me, us old folks.  It's about kids.  Hallmark has earned Kansas City's respect.  All we need is a drummer, for people who only need a beat... No, that ain't it.  All we need is a little chocolate, to make it a perfect Kansas City Smore... The Royals, Hallmark, and hey, why not, Russell Stover.  Besides, don't all Hallmark movies end happy?
 
Casey's.  Everyone loves Casey's.  WELL, NOMME.  OK, OK, at least the one in Fulton, Missouri.  You see.......My Granny's place..... where, as kids, we played wiffle ball... sat with Gramps on the front porch listening to Harry Caray's St. Louis Cardinal call "It' MIGHT be... it COULD be... It IS... a HOME RUN" on the transistor radio.  Victor?  What's this got to do with Caseys?  Hang on....
 
Granny's IS Christmas.  Presents stacked halfway to the ceiling around the tree.  Those liquid bulb thingys.. strewn tinsel and popcorn strung by us little turds..  Christmas carols for the ears, Granny's pies keeping warm on the living room gas-stove-furnace thingy for the nose.... Family.  20 or so of us packed in a bit smaller than average living room.  Who cares.  WE LIVED. WE LOVED.
 
But, then again.  NOW.  They tore that sucker down.  Granny's is a Casey's.  Oh Victor., say it ain't so!  So.
 
So. I gotta thinkin'.  My grands loved Fulton, Missouri. (Me too.)  My grands loved people, friends. (Eh, me too I guess!)...  WHAT BETTER THAN PEOPLE BEATIN' FEET IN, OUT..  Fillin' up their gas tanks, and, their bellies (pizza, chicken wings, drinks to warsh 'em down).. Folks saying "Hi neighbor, how ya doin?"  Granny Casey's.  Gotta nice ring to it.
 
And then................ what once was THE most wonderful childhood memory... the wiffle ball field in the front yard of the house I grew up in.. .............. To be continued:
 
Don't ya mess with my toot toot.  Don't ya mess with my toot toot.  When I was born the doctor slapped my behind, he said "You're gonna be special you sweet little toot toot."   Toot toot = Wiffle ball field.  Perfection.  Don't mess with it.
 
Well...........
 
Time did.
 
Years (and years) after driving by the place, the wiffle ball field we kids literally spent up to 8 hours a day....  In the years since... we'd drive by.. 
"Remember? First base was right over there... and.. the water meter is still there..  that was second base.. .  where the sidewalks "L".. third... and home plate.. .ten feet or so from the 'backstop', our screened in front porch where we hadta repair the screen a time or fitty ("Sorry dad!)...  and look.. there's a cute little sapling where the pitcher's mound usedta be!
 
Well, the years piled up.. as did the pounds around my belly.  The Wellbutrin for anxiety has helped...but...... I sometimes quote that spinach sucking feller, "I've had all I can takes and I can't takes no more!"..........
 
I CAN'T DO PUSHUPS EVER DAYUM MORNING. WE AIN'T GOTTA PLACE TO TAILGATE, toss the frisbee across twenty car lengths.. "Go deep Smitty" as we toss the football.... THE SMOKE FROM THE BEST BBQ IN THE US (Sorry Petula, no open fires when you are alone and life is making you lonely you can always go downtown, but keep yo' dayum matches in your purse)...  Easy in and outta the stadium as we ain't gotta wait for an hour on the tenth floor of some dayum parking garage... (TBC)...
 
Gramps!  Casey's ain't even gotta place out front to plug in your radio!  Baseball Ray, HELL, ya can't even see around the dayum tree in the middle'a the field to see the batter! And it's FORTY foot tall!
 
But it's ok. Memories are like love letters tucked away.  I can still do one push up, thankfully!  I can people watch the Royals..  Bark at the Mark just don't sound the same, yet, a wagging tail is a wagging tail.
 
Mebbe one day I'll even fetch my 250 lb capacity lawnchair (learnt the hard way)... mix up some lemonade... go sit in the front yard in the shade of the pitcher's mound, er, bigass tree... meet the new neighbors...
 
Hello Muddah... hello Fadduh..  Here I am at, Downtown BallMark...
Downtown's very, entertaining.  Even better, if we're winning......
Goal's to park and actually be in our seats by the third inning.
 
Wait a minute.. everyone's here now........
Bobby's swatting...  Wacha's wailing....
Playing baseball, gee that's better.........
If you look close Pasquatch's just above the railing.
 
Usedta coulda still fits in the back pocket.. and the backa the medulla oblongata..  I guess that little redheaded snotnose is right...  The sun has come out.
 
Excuse me Sonny, how much is onea them large Casey's pizzas?
 
Love, Victurd  
 

Wednesday, May 6, 2026

I believe in you...........

I don't believe in superstars
I mean, VICTOR, NEVER start a sentence with "I mean." Do you NOT mean "I mean" when  you don't say it first?  I mean, bite me.  I mean, I believe in them, I'm in awe of them, but too, I know they are like me, kinda sorta.  It kinda bugs me when folks say "Don't pay not attention to actors, actresses, celebs, on political junk."  Ain't we all created equal?  They can't express opine too?  Do you believe I'm so dumb, kan't spell.. will automatically accept their view for mine?
 Organic food and foreign cars
Whenya in the Piggly Wiggly andya see green grapes here for $1.99 a pound, then, over a bit, green grapes for $5.99 a poundI personally am gonna buy cheap and pray I don't grow no 3rd ear or nipple due to Malathion ingestion.
 
Regarding foreign cars....  Sign say "Buick, Olds, Chevy, front brakes $149.  Down the road, sign say "We specialize in foreign cars...  BMW, Fiat, Audi, front brakes, $499."  That's some pricey ass pads, I'm break-dancing back to the US shop. 
I don't believe the price of gold
 I believe, it just don't affect (or is that effect?) me.
 The certainty of growing old
When I was 20, 30, 40, fitty, I never gave one licka thought to being 60, 70...  Wi$h I woulda, Doc, "It hurts when I do this" can I get a handicap plate? 
That right is right and left is wrong
Quite the opposite, really.  Oh calm down redface, red hat. I was joshing.  Kinda.
  That North and South can't get along
I've been stuck in the middle my entire life... but Winter make me root for them Southern guys.  Besides, Arizona has a 9 to 1 ratio, old bags to old coots. Misogynist!  Oh, have a sense of humor. 
That East is East and West is West
I trust that chick on GPS, she sounds hot. Clowns to the left of me (Vegas) Jokers to the right (DC(, here I am, stuck in the middle. 
And being first is always best
So very true for sports teams, busy restaurant hostess stands, urinals, Derbies and Nascar day.  Not so much for first-to-fail, greener grass, smoking, radar traps, mortuary basements.
 
But I believe in love
OH BABY, YES! Be for real, you know I mean people, pets, music, nature, much, so, so much.
I believe in babies
Who doesn't! 
 I believe in mom and dad
I'm fully aware we each have different experiences in life. Not all great, not all horrible. 
Well, I don't believe that heaven waits for only those who congregate. When it comes to nuclear families, I always say "I couldn't have handpicked things better... the basta's (said VERY VERY lovingly) just all checked out too early on me!"  
 
And I believe in you
So, don't you checkout early on me!
 
 

 

Willie go 'round in circles........

I love me some life.  Round round get around I get around.  Ya got me goin' in circles...(pah pah pah pah) ohhhhhh ohhh around and around I go.....

Ride a painted pony let the spinnin' wheel spin...  What goes up, must come down..  Spinnin' wheel, got to go round...

As I sat on the side of the bed.. (First thing I do.. .well... before I get to that point, I grunt a bit... groan...) get my bearings... "Tuesday ain't it?...no, that was yesterday.... " then, the all important "Wonder if the Royals won?" (They were up a run or two late when I went to bed... )  VICTOR.  We're ALLOVER, no one gives a rats about the Royals except YOU!

Living life in a straight line.... that line goes from the bedroom.. thru the living room.. thru the kitchen.. It's there I stop (hey what's that sound, everybody look what's goin' round)..no, that ain't it.  I stop, make coffee.  Next linear stop in order is the bathroom... I WANTS MY COFFEE EARLY... so, sometimes that involves the pee pee dance as I make coffee. ("By GOSH, I'm GONNA get this coffee a goin' FIRST so I can have a fresh cup AFTER I pee").  I admit, sometimes I userp the order, pee first. Eh, ya gotta.

I flip the TV on.  I cannot remember the point, purpose,what they were selling in the commercial that was on.. .but I 'loved' it.  Middle age dude walks into the house... says "Damn.... it's musty."...   Wifey follows not fer behind... "Damn" she exclaims as the steps over the threshold.  Next in the door... Granny... she blurts out "DAMN!"... sumpin' must smell bad.  Junior, all of eleven, his turn.. walks in, "Damn" (Three heads swivel back to look, admonish, "LANGUAGE!" - and THAT, boys and girls, is life in America, today.

Well, not everyBobby...... HEY, ROYALS WON!  VICTOR, WE. DON'T. CARE. Well, me and Phil Collins don't care that you don't care, no more.

Then, an article on someBobby I really enjoy.  Bobby Witt, Jr.  VICTOR!  Too bad so sad, you're stuck.

Ten Kansas City Royals are participating in a program the Royals are doing, where they get out and about with kids around different KC School Districts. The day someBobby was interviewed - it was his 3rd trip to Ms. Ransom's second grade class...

The kids found out two days ago about his visit.. "I'm so scared" one of 'em said..  signs on the wall outside the class, welcomed and signed  "your friend"..  "love you forever"...  Bobby walked in to hear "Eye of the Tiger"... and, there was an easel, "Bobby Witt Jr. Approved Writing List" ... "I wrote neatly."..  "I began each sentence with a capital letter."..   (TBC)

And....... a large poster on the wall.. "DEEP BREATH JUNIOR, DEEP BREATH" .. which, is a 'take-off' on Bobby as just before each pitch, he takes a real deep breath to help him stay calm. VICTOR, WE DON'T WATCH NOR CARE.  Stuck, I call you stuck.

From the KC Star article this morning.. Jayneal was quoted "Thank you for your BobbyBreath and how you use it to help you.  We use it too when we get frustrated with a problem, or, when we need to calm down.  Sometimes, we even have to tell Ms Ransom to take a BobbyBreath!" 

They got to ask Bobby questions about whatever they wanted... he stayed quite awhile.. then, class picture (With Bobby).. just as Maggie (BobbyWife) cranked up Journey's "Don't Stop Believin", a song they learned someBobby and Maggie played at their wedding reception. SomeBobby reminded the kids, "We're keeping up with you... the entire team knows about you guys".....

For all you KC Royal naysayers, I thought, "Damn, pretty cool."  Victor, LANGUAGE (and we don't care.)

Then, Willie Go Round in Cirlces - final thoughts before clicking on this keyboard....................

Yesterday..... The Beatles Victor?  No.  Yesterday, I sent out invitations for a (hopefully) fun golf tourney I'm having.  The "Liberty Townie Golf Tourney".. Last year, we made it charitable.. raising funds for Liberty's Shop With A Cop".. a shopping spree the Police take children at need at Christmas time.. OH, to see the faces! .. a very good thing.).. 4th year.  Thirty guys/gals/golfers or so the first couple years...  Fitty folks last year.. I'm pushing for 70 this year!  We golf, tell stories, eat lunch, play Bruce's Glory Days in the background.. have fun... and watch ourselves age.  I texted 60+ folks yesterday.

Among the replies... "Yes, count me and so-and-so in!".. "I can't golf, I'll help cook."  Phone call, "I'm having rotator cuff surgery"..  many, 'crickets',.. nothing.. I'll stay on 'em.. one, "It's our 50th anniversary, we'll be on a cruise, but I promise I'll be there in 2027."... Another, "I'm having some hip troubles, I don't think I can"... "I'm in, but I don't think _____ is playin', (his wife).. but I'll find someone."  And NO, I ain't telling you who!

Willie go round in circles....... Round round get around I get around... 

Drop all your troubles by the riverside... Catch a painted pony on the spinnin wheel ride.. Someone is waiting just for you.. Spinnin' wheel, spinnin' true.. Ride a painted pony let the spinnin' wheel fly.

Deep breath everyBobby, and have a wonderful day.  GO ROYALS!

Love, Victor 

Monday, May 4, 2026

Take two aspirin and call me in the morning..........

But Doc.. it's Saturday.......

Of mice and men........... as in, howta git ridda mice........

Find entry point, charge a cover charge.  No, wait, that's to git ridda men, nvrmnd..

Find entry point.  Use them snap traps there if that don't geek you out.  Glue ones if you're a cruel basta..  or, catch em in live traps so you can drop em off later in the yard of the HOA president.

Clear out the garage.  No, wait, again, that one is for men.

Today, boys and girls, we're gonna talk quick fix. Victor, when's the last time you were called a boy?  Good question, I guess it should be, 'Today, men and women"... actually though, we're old.  Google can be mean, for old chicks (sorry, not) they suggest  biddy, or old biddy.. old bag or old bat..  spinster or old maid.  MISOGYNIST!  Hang on...........

Men. Old men. Geezer. Fossil. Dinosaur. Old coot. Old codger...or, as Ethel called Walter, you old poop.

Blog draggin, hop to it.  Thx.   IT guys suggest "Did you try restarting it?"

Harry Nilsson asked Doc,  "Doctor? Ain't there nothing I can take to relieve this bellyache?"..   You put de lime in de coconut, you drink 'em bot up."

Ralphie wanted An Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.  Little Orphan Annie's decoded quick fix for Ralphie was "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."  Damnit darnit. OMG, no soup for you Ralphie, SOAP, only.

Thanks to that TV show where the panel of rich dudes, dudettes. welcome in wanna be entrepreneurs, listen to them beg for a$$i$tance... then yay/nay, give it or don't. Anyways, thanks to that show, Shark Tank mebbe, we're getting all kindsa quick fixes.  

A facial ice roller that you stick in the fridge for whenever you wanna take it out to give your face a chill ride, reducing puffiness, under eye circles, relieve tension from  a headache. 

Mighty Match Pimple Spot Treatment, a hydrocolloid sticker that you can apply straight onto a zit to flatten it, reduce redness, and even suck the gunk out of individual trouble spots overnight. Eww.

Old wives' tales....  MISOGYNIST! WHY, must you emphasize old? OK, how's this, "over time, wives' tales'... not much better, but go on.

Honey/sore throat.  Chicken Soup/Colds. Warm milk/sleep.  Carrots/eyesight. Walnut on scratched wood. Newspaper to clean winders.. Ice for Carpet dents. Peanut butter for gum on shoes. Lemon slices for garbage disposal.

Crap I found on Facebook:  It’s bad luck to sweep the floor after dinner. If your nose itches you are going to kiss a fool. If a black cat crosses your path it is bad luck. If your palm itches you are going to receive money. If you drop a knife on the floor the next person who comes through your front door will be male. (I have Italian and Irish ancestors…very superstitious) 

Victor them ain't quick fixes. Sorry, I was getting bored.  Us too.  Swallow a watermelon seed and a watermelon will grow in your stomach. If you cross your eyes, they will stay that way.  Braniff, believe it. 

Reader's Digest actually had me barfing up my scramble (very scrambled) eggs this morning...  they listed some old wives's tales from way back, and while they were all believed WAY BACK, they are ALL now labeled don't do this:

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  Black Death ravaging London in the 1600's, Doctors suggested Fart Sniffing.  Uh huh, not a typo. Folks huffed farts from jars.

Paste of dead mice to treat coughs, toothaches, other ailments. Don't do this. Drop 'em off in the HOA President's yard like we talked about.

I can't do any more. I'll vomit, promise. If you're a sicko, you can Google 15 Bizarre Ancient Remedies You Won't Believe Existed.

So, I'll hopefully start  your day off on a positive, and that positive is me getting the help outta here.

Happy day.  I won't tell anyone you already tried the fart one.  I have sicko SigaManu buddies that usedta torch 'em. Hard to get the burn marks outta Levi's, or so they tell me.

May the 4th be with you. 

Good day, Victurd 

 

 

Sunday, May 3, 2026

Dots.........

Dots the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it.

Memories. Twerps of today. Victor, that ain't very kind.  Too bad, so sad, not meant to be mean.  I love little turds, toddlers, snotnoses... twerps.  The candy of choice today, from my view, foot on gas pedal, twerps in car seats, boosters, or, a big enough twerp just to simply sit on the seat itself - are/is (that always confuses me, tense.. I get tense about tense)... any kinda sour candy that makes you make a face, but, somehow, it's enjoyable enough you reach sweaty palm into bag for anuther.

Fitty, sixty years ago, that was us.. getting the lid of the Dot box open, using our index finger like a crane to swipe one or two dots up, from the box, to our mouth.  Yum, gummy, stucky, perfect. Movie theater.  They could be, and were, projectiles.  Sure, stung, but, didn't cause blindness.  If you somehow sat on one however, it usually took a couple years to be able to get it unstuck from your jeans, and by that time, the jeans fit your little brother, not you.

You're in the Army now. Well, Army Air Corps. Me padre', he was a Code something or other. WWII..  Dots and dashes, or, dits and dahs.  He'd have conversations with himself using same, we thought he was nuts, he thought he was something, and he was, in fun.

Wiki say dots been around 40,000 years.  I've basically given up on asking, when I see crap like that, "how do they know?"  Polka dot patterns surfaced in the 1850's.  Dot your i's and cross your t's means, meticulous.  I ain't never been that. You?  My notebook paper ALWAYS had frayed edges, my old Buick holds sacks from Mickey D's from when Big Macs were under two dolla, meh, who cares.  OCD people, that's who.  Mebbe one day I'll take a Dot com course on how to be more OCD. meh.

On the dot. (On time.) I am that.  You?

Sign on the dotted line.  Ever been burnt by fine print?  Uh huh, me too.

Potholes?  Call the DOT.

Rhymes.  Aught, blot, bought, brought, caught, clot, cot, fought, fraught.

Synonyms. Fleck. Blotch. Speck. Patch.

FLECK?

Pac-Man eats dots.

Montserrat, Missouri.  While it looks like you'll find a bigass French rat there, actually, it's just a dot on the map in Central Missouri.

The Azores. A dot in the Atlantic Ocean, but, quite the dot. Roughly 900 miles to the nearest major land mass (Portugal), a quarter million folks choose to live in the 9 island volcanic chain.  Rumor has it, gorgeous, and weather, mild.  Dunno howinthehell sailors find it.                                                                                            

Have an Aunt Dot?  Connect the dots as a kid?  The weirdness, diversity of folks today (and every day).. hard to connect the dots with some ain't it?

Dots are at the end of sentences...........

And blogs........................

THANK GOODNESS VICTOR.

... indicates 'to be continued'.  

Bite me, Pac-Man. 

Love, Victurd 

Friday, May 1, 2026

I see your red door................................................ and................ Paint by numbers

Pardon me boys, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?

Wait, that ain't it.

Pardon me boys, is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?

Mebbe.....

Rod says, every picture tells a story.  And Rod, I'll one-up ya even better, every person tells a story..... and that, I reckon, is the point today of this flimsy old blog.

I gotta buddy who wrote, and I don't think he'll sue me for copy/pasting:  

"Every morning, while I am drinking my coffee, I go through my gratitude, what I’m grateful for that day. Today I did my usuals, my house, my utilities, my refrigerator, full of food, my pantry, my running water and even toilet paper. But today I was extremely grateful that all those loud booms last night was just thunder. Praying for all the people that are in dangerous war situations."

You see, he don't. Once did, but, over the years his eyesight declined to the point he can't any longer, but, by golly that sucker can paint, and ain't that a pretty picture he wrote?  Ya damn right it is.

Kinda sorta along that note.......  I heard or read of an English teacher, in trying to teach writing.. ... trying to get whatever age folks she was teaching to 'xplain Lucy' as they wrote - had 'em blindfold a classmate, walk 'em around and describe everything. Brilliant, to me anyways.

Some say, "I can't write."  I call BS.  in your own way, you can and do.  Had a buddy, swore he didn't know how to, could never, retell a joke he'd heard, so, whenever someone started to tell one.. he'd pipe up... "WAIT".. go grab pen, paper, and write it down so he could retell.

To me, THAT is a story in and of itself! 

We. be. different.   And, that's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it.. some would say, we're stuck with it.  Some (ok, many) geezers, retell and retell and retell, the same story.  A gal that I smooched for a few years... they were all SO thankful when I came along (NO, not because they liked me, be for real!) because I was the new listener to all her dad's stories. (Again, and again)

I loved it then, and I love it now - as sadly, he ain't around no more.  And, while sure, not fun he's gone, ALL THOSE STORIES still are in my brain, I so love that they are - and it brings heap big smile to my face every time I think of him, or, one of his stories.

Smiles accompany storytellers of each, every variety. And, if you ain't aware how big smiles are to me... then, take a year off work (or play) and reread the 12,000+ flimsy blogs I wrote before this'n.

In every day life... having recurring times with ones we hang with, work with, go to church, the bar, book club, Bunko, golf, whatever.... we have our favorites we love listening to - at least I do, dunno about you, but, I'd guess so.

I look forward to whadever in the heck I'm going to listen to today..  Sure, some ain't real fun to listen to.. .VICTOR!  Well, it's true, it's reawwy reawwy twue.. some speak of themselves (always).. but, we know that ahead, so mebbe it don't bug us quite so much. (You mean like certain bloggers Victor?  BITE ME).

Some, speak about others, and sometimes, it ain't really pretty what they say. But again... we know that in advance, and holy guacamole, it makes ya sit back and think "Hey, what if I ain't here?  Would they talk about me?"  The likely answer is yes.... but too, it lends a little more of an understanding of their "I see your red door and I want it painted black" picture, because,  maybe, they don't like what they see in their own mirror... and, that, is really sad - and, maybe makes you love 'em, or at least feel for 'em a little more.

Victor, where you going with this?  Every nook and cranny in the World, how's that? If might be fun to go sit for awhile in a foreign country, not know whatinthehell any one is saying, but.. mebbe take a guess as  to who's the best story teller... which is the geezer repeating a story over and over (Could be the Cliffs note version to Babble in learning, say, Espanol' eh?). Who always speaks about themself. Who, always speaks (sometimes badly) about Pepe' or Maria.  Which awakens every day and counts their blessings?

Life, I find anyways, is a damn fun, interesting, convoluting, wunnerful, colorful, blessed place.

Life, in black and white, wouldn't be quite as fun. And, before you run off suggesting racism, that ain't what I'm talkin'. We need hues, blues, and even pink hairdos.

If life were only paper, scissors, rock, how boring that would be, and besides, Patrick would NEVER be able to play that with SpongeBob.

I like leftfield, 'what did he just say', Ripley's Believe it Or Not, Paul Harvey, Yogi Berra, Jimmy Kimmel (just shoot me) and, I'd never forget you Guillermo.

VICTOR, you misogynist, there ain't a single lady on your list.  Geez (Louise, BaBa WaWa, Rosanne Rosanna Danna, Betty White, Samantha Stephens, Wilma and Betty, right Pebbles?

I've told this one before............. NO? NOT YOU VICTOR!  Bite me.  One time, band camp.  That lady up there I smooched with for three years or so (remember, the one whose Pa told and retold the same (fun) stories (as he smiled?)  Anyways, I follered her into the Piggly Wiggly one day........ we's outta coffee. (TBC)

They had this nifty end of aisle display, musta been thirty coffee bean varieties.. you grab your bag, fill up with the one of choice.  Not her.  She took her bag, grabbed a little of this, a little of that, actually, some of each, all.

That.  That's the way uh huh uh huh I like life, and coffee come to think of it.

Love, Victurd 

You have the right to remain silent.........

And, of course, I do too, but, we all know that ain't happening.  Sorry, not sorry.   Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Cha...