Ifs ands or buts

 It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away.

 

That's all well and good there Barry Gibb but what-the-hey does it have to do with ifs, ands and buts?

 

Jane, you igno.......... ahm, just that. Words are all I got to work with.

 

No ifs ands or buts.  YES, ifs ands or buts because without em, I wouldn't have a blog today.  You will not hurt my feelings IF you no likey, go right ahead and exit stage left, AND, don't let the door hitya in the BUT(T).

 

IF I could turn back time, me and Cher would look 30. Victor, she does. Bite me. If I were a rich man, I'd butcher it.  If I had a hammer, I'd bend a helluva lotta nails, but, .mebbe I'd be a better shuffleboard player. 

 

If you leave me now.. I'd be OK. Cinnamon Toast Crunch, sliced bananas, milk, mo' coffee, cigs, finish blog, then, Basketball Jones. 

 

AND. Peace and quiet, pick and choose, knife and fork, pros and cons, salt and pepper, give and take, life and death, rough and tumble....  Bonnie and Clyde, Batman and Robin, Romeo and Juliet, Delaney and Bonnie, Meghan and Harry, Travis and Taylor, Ellen and Portia, John and Yoko.

 

BUT...  yeah but... last but not least.. Chip Wilson..  close but no cigar..  slow but sure.. (My grandpa would fetch us across town to our Aunt's house, bouta mile and a half.. granny, in front seat, monitoring speed. 25mph zone.. he'd get up to 27, sometimes 28, "MAN!!! MAN!!  YOU'RE GONNA KILL THESE CHILDREN!".. not about but, but, thought I'd include). .everything but the kitchen sink..  the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth..  Chip Wilson..  

 

BUT the dog ate my homework.. I'll gladly pay you Tuesday.. .Chip Wilson.. I haveta sleep in your bed mom, dad, there's monsters in mine.. but I haven't missed a day of school this week, and, I've got an itchy itchy rash.. I cannot help but wonder... but he is nothing but a fool...   Chip Wilson.. I am but a common man.. (Drive a common van, but, my dog is a Miniature Schnauzer.) 

 

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.   If frogs had wings they wouldn't bump their butts.  

 

Life, me thinks, is all about ifs ands or buts.  Woulda coulda shoulda. Right Chip?

 

VICTOR?  Huh?  Whothehell is Chip.. Chip Wilson?

 

Duh. He invented yoga pants in 1998.

 

IF I wouldn't have clicked this damn link, AND chosen to do something else, I'd have three more minutes of my life to do something worthwhile, you BUTThead Victor.

 

Ifs ands or buts.  Three things tell the truth.. Small children, drunk people, and yoga pants.  

 

Sorry, kinda.. Love, Victurd

Now what?

OK, that's it, life in a nutshell.............  The end.

 

Kidding, kinda.  Whenya thinka 'Now what?', er, at least, when I thinka 'Now what?' it's usually accompanied by a furrowed eyebrow, frustration, exasperation (Victor, ain't they the same thing?) such as, the same annoying question after question, like, maybe someone who continually sneaks into your blog... or, a little kid, said lovingly, tugging your shirt, followed by "Mom?" Ain't it the moms that garner mosta the questions? "Go blow your nose and get ready for dinner."

 

An annoying coworker. Or, perhaps, someone that stumbles by here pretty frequently and observes "Wow, what's eatin' him (again) today?"

 

Really - nothing, honest.  Sure., sure... "Now what" reminds us of caller ID, extended warranties, endless old people junk mail (hearing aid ads, funeral planning, that crap).. Car trouble, checkenginelights, money, "Honey? Piggly declined my card again... the hell you been buying?"

 

But.................. you can't begin a sentence with 'But.' To that I say 'then whyinthehell do they allow you to CAPITALIZE B?  Huh huh huh?

 

But......... Now what is a thing of beauty along the way.

 

Baby born. Baby don't do much. Blankie on floor. "Stay Rover". They do, for quite awhile. Then, ruh roh. The hell'd he go?  Hershal? You seen Junior?  I tease, some.

 

Walking for the first time is "Now what?", with excitement, smile, hurry, why - we dunno, but hurry.  Fall, tears, s'more now what.

 

Yellow bus.  Backpack. New duds. The Barnyard bus.  Twerp hops on.....WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? NOW WHAT?  Oh honey, lemme tellya, it's a lifetime thing figuring out folks.  Just whenya think you gotta handle on 'em, tney fool ya, so, of course you ask "Now what?" 

 

Tee ball.  After six swings whereya knock the tee over 3 times, the bat slips outta your hands twice, you accidentally hit the catcher "sorry!".. you hit it.  Mom, dad, gramma, grampa, the Coach, your big brother command RUN!  So, ya do. To third base. NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! "TO FIRST" (where the heck is that?") Coaches pointing redfacedly getya there.. "Now what?".. we learn.

 

We go from duck, duck, goose.. to TeeBall.. to Red Rover Red Rover... to kickball, getting cooties from being on the same team as Earl.. to middle school. to Junior high.. to....."WAIT? What the heck was that feeling?"  NOW WHAT?  I HATE GIRLS? How come allofasudden I wanna grab one and kiss one? Protude. DON'T ASK ME WHY, it' just happens.  To boys and girls.

 

Fast forward.  16. Vroom vroom. "Honey, I'm going to Piggly to get us a couple steaks for Saturday night."  "NO, no you're not. Cousin Eddie, our 'discounted' insurance agent, just sent the bill for Susie's car... you're going to Wally World, fried chicken is on sale."

 

18. "But, I DON'T WANNA go to Junior College... all my friends are going to State U' to join frats (or sororities), it's only a 3 hour longer drive. I know Juco is cheap, but State is only $14,895 a semester."  Ahm, honey, swing by the Dollar Tree and get a thinga bologna would ya?

 

21.  Wings. We fly. We be big people. NOW WHAT?  I just worked yesterday. I gotta go again today?  Dad, can I borrow fitty? My gf wanted lasagna, I spent my last forty on that.  The car's on "E" too, but, it's all good, I can just sleep here tonight."NO WAIT, here ya go."

 

Love and marriage.  The saying, back in the Father Knows Best era, was, "Marriage is the most expensive way to get your laundry done free."  Well, then them ladies, back in '66, had the NOW Movement... (before you shoot me, I agree with it!).. so........... after Herbert washes, dries, folds, puts away the clothes, he addresses Ms. Fitty-One Percent of the Stock with, "Now what Honey?" Has nothing to do with those little protrusions that started happenin' back in Junior High. OK, maybe a tad.

 

So, ya have kids.  They move from the blanket to Tee ball. You Tase 'em if they run the wrong way. JK. Yellow bus, Big Chief. Ya buy a beater, liability only. ACT scores, tassles and hassles. "You're taking online courses, Junior College is WAY too expensive." All your lives you've teased them.. and you continue after you hang the lights, put up the tree.. "We wish you weren't here at Christmas.. we wish you weren't here at Christmas."

 

They fly.  "Honey, let's start our Social Security at 62, have a great retirement.  Our IRA is doing perty darn good."  OK.  So, you buy a lake house, take out a Second, boat, big one.. New F One Fitty to pull it.  Work until 70.

 

Now what?  Wanna fool around?  No..  Let's go see my brother and his wife. No.  Let's go look at ranch homes, particularly those ones with maintenance included.  We sold the lake house.  We'll sell the Pontoon. (It's got one step. Everything with steps, "Nope")

 

Honey?  We got all this stuff in the garage. Now what?

 

20 Cube dumpster. Freecycle. Yard sale. "I don't care if it's NOT a flatscreen, my beautiful grandson can play video games on it, get it outta here."

 

Each, every 'now what' turn in life is fulla wonder. Good, bad, ugly.  Let's change that to good, great, ugly, cause mosta life is yummy.  There's little left to ask, figure out. You cook, she does the dishes, whilst you give her a shoulder rub. She cooks,  you do the dishes, and serenade her what whadever your favorite song to sing is.

 

Now what, in retirement is, THE BEST.  There's "have to's" in blankets, busses, tee ball, learner permits, college, work, asset attainment, stack-a-dolla. 

 

Now what in retirement lends crickets.  Nuttin. Not one damn thing, as in, whadever in the heck we wanna.

 

Wanna? NO.  Damnit darnit!

 

Love, Victurd  

Sugar... ah honey honey.....

 Victor?  THE ARCHIES?  1969?
 
I'm old, sorry... or, the way I see it, thanks.  I am stuck on BandAid... stuff in the past, much.
 
Lady at work, funny haha, put 'glue traps' on the floor as she'd seen a mouse, one trap was right under the computer.  Of course of course, Size 11 shoe, directly on it.  Took a bit to git ma' dayum foot/shoe off the ground.  Some of the trap was sticking out from under the shoe, so.... I put the other size 11 atop that little bit sticking out.  Bad plan.  Now, two shoe stuck. It wasn't Easter yet, so, I wadn't gonna hop around the damn place...  (TBC)
 
She came to rescue me... her funny haha laughter was no help, but, didn't blame her. Finally, one shoe free, but... everywhere I stepped, more glue on the floor.. and soon, we were all sticking.
 
Band camp part 2... I've tried to cut back on sugar, and, carbs too. That said, life as we know it, could be short... so, anudder 1965 song, every time I see a gorgeous sunset, I hear Mick in the background "Well this could be the last time."  So, with that, I take a vote (1 to nuthing) and then, I eat something with sugar.  This particular night, I'd actually done good eating all week... so, I grabbed several huge chunks of vanilla ice cream and put 'em in a bowl. Further applauding my good habits, I decided 'what the heck' and dumped a huge squirt of pancake syrup atop.  Ok, it was 3 huge squirts. (TBC)
 
I was running late to meet a friend. Combed my hair, then my beard.  Uh oh.  Uh huh, syrup crap allover my beard.  A quick glance in the mirror.. wash.. got most.. off I was.
 
Sticky, me thinks, is important in our lives.  Relationships, it's kinda nice if both stick around.  At work, I was proud of the fact my boss said I broke the alltime record for sticky notes on a computer.  Well, worked for me.  Duct tape and super glue.  Brett and pine tar. Rosin bags...
 
Velcro.  Victor, you're so damn old this is probably where you tell us (again) about Ed Ames and his axe on Johnny Carson.  No, wasn't gonna share that one but thanks.
 
Do you stick to things with great conviction? One of my cousins recently told me of a story way back in the day... he'd played HS football.. asst fb coach was also the basketball coach. Season ended, coach asked "you're gonna play basketball aren't you?"  Nah... I don't think I'd be any good.  Coach twisted arm further... "Come for one week... then we'll judge, if I don't think it's for you, promise I'll tellya." Yeah but, my dad, we've got a rule, if you start something, you stick to it..." They shared the plan with dad, he OK'ed it... so, dribble dribble shoot shoot. (TBC)
 
One week later, coach tapped him on shoulder, "I'll seeya next year in football!"
 
I was a job hopper, kinda.   Did you stick to the same one forever and a day?  Howabout partner.. it takes much to stick together nowadays..  we, as a people., give up too early and I'm proud of everyone of ya that are Everready still going (together).
 
This is where I plagiarize (s'more):
 
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Persistence and determination along are omnipotent. Calvin Coolidge.....   Don't quit, a wind from nowhere could turn it. Johnie Dent, Jr.
 
Stick to the plan, not your mood. Unknown...  A good plan gets you in the race, but sticking to it propels you into the winner's circle.. Lee Colan.  Start small, build confidence to finish big. Unknown.  "HELP!" a mouse. 
 
Victor?  Huh?  With your relationship 'won-lost' record, you sure YOU wanna give US advice?  NOW WAIT JUSTA MINUTE, I'M GONNA TELL HER EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID.................... HONEY?...  HONEY?
 
The hell'd she go?
 
Oh well.  Hell, if I ever DO date again... I ain't gonna worry about cologne, new, nice clothes, whether or not I've scooped all the junk outta my car, Viagra, stuff like that...........  but I will make sure I have mouse glue traps.  That'll learn her.
 
Love, Victurd
 
 

Stranger danger.........

Aren't you glad we're normal... living in a World where everyone else is whacko?

 

WHAT?

 

Wait a minute...  you're telling me, when, in bed, you do any/everything you can to ensure your feet are covered up so 'a monster won't get you'?

 

Ahm, OK.  Bet ya look behind the shower curtain EVERY time you enter the same ole same ole bathroom don'tya?  Ahm, no. Victor, that's you.  Oh yeah, sorry.  Our secret.

 

You talk to your car don't ya?  Uh huh, what I thought.  Dog too? VICTOR, everyone talks to their dog.  Yeah, I know.. band camp, one time I was 'coupled' (long time ago eh Victor? Bite me).. there was a couple we did stuff with often (movies, ball games, fire pit/suds, yada) and there was a couple that was friends of theirs.  They, the couple we didn't know, brought their hound with them because they were so proud he knew over 300 words.  Uh huh. In fact, they's gonna go over the list in the living room, which, gave me a sudden urge to go have a smoke on the back deck. Aye yai yai.

 

I seen ya.  You turn the volume on the car radio down when you get close to the destination so you can 'see it better'. Weirdo.  I do that too.

 

I nose people with smell addictions. Their own fingernails. Laundry detergent. Play Doh, really. New tires. (Goes well with their touch addiction, those little nipple things that stick out the first week or so). Some people even crave the smell of mothballs.  They cray cray.  Me, I kinda enjoy wet ashphalt, old books and pine needles on the Christmas tree, but, that's all like normal ain't it? I wasn't even aware moths had balls but, I guess it makes Nature sense.

 

I seenya pickup the M&M barefooted.  Would that be a footish? Better question, didya eat it? 5 toe, er, I mean 5 second rule?  Ever eat a pine tree?

 

Charlotte over there.  When she leaves, she clicks to stool handle again to make sure it ain't runnin. The oven. The back sliding door.  The thermostat.  It's almost like she's got a list, crosschecking everything.  She then locks the front doors, both of em.  Climbs in the car next to Herbert.  He smiles, says, "Honey, your zipper is down."

 

Maggie, the best dayum cook this side'a Mosby, Missouri, she worries about her chidren.... blows on everything to make sure they don't burn their mouths.. . Between Jenny, Lenny and Sal, the three kiddos have missed 47 days of school this year, colds.. flu.. strep.. RSV (whaddeva that is)... On the way to The Piggly, momma tells Jenny, the oldest, "Remind me to get some candles.. daddy's 38th birthday is next week."

 

Some, step into their sport's bra.. I never have.  Pop bubble wrap, guilty, crack knuckles, drives me batty.  Seen ya, you eat the crust first on you PB&J don't ya?     

 

Your cereal is NEVER soggy if you eat it with a fork.  I always sneeze when I look at the sun.. or smell coworker Vicki's perfume. Man she lays it on.

 

Like the farmer's market don'tya?  I KNOW, cause I seen ya.  you eat BOTH ends of strawberries and the leaves.... the apple core (HOW?..  WHY?).. 

 

I have to get to the microwave one second before it dings.  You don't do that?  I have literally ZERO things to hide on my phone, but, when I show someone something on it, and they grab it, I want to kill them.

 

See doggy catching breeze next lane over, determine 'no way he can jump', I holler "GO GET YOUR BALL". I ain't got shot yet.

 

I SPEED over bridges.  Ya just never know.  I wear Billy Bob teeth on first Match.com dates just to see the reaction.

 

You know how chicks do the Homecoming wave with their hands? Seena dude doing that once, 'cept, his little finger was in his ear and he was Homecoming sawing it back and forth and back and forth.  Then, he looked.  Eww. 

 

And then, there was Sigma Nu hell week, but, that's a story for another day.  You're right, why not?  Nekked, pickup a marble off a huge chunk of ice, ya can't use your hands.  Mouth to mouth CPR to a carp that was in the toilet.  Damn actives, they blindfold you, make you stand on a chair.. break ALL KINDS of glass.. bounce it up and down in a metal bowl.. then, make you jump onto the floor, where, after you land, you can take your blindfold off, and realize you just jumped into.. .corn flakes.. with ketchup throughout.  You have pen tied to a string, that's tied to your 'uh huh', that's then brought up thru the neck opening of  your shirt, where, you must get 100 chick signatures before day's end. Yankers.  Some of 'em was yankers.

 

OK, I'll go.

 

Weirdest friend I have writes blogs.

 

Too many of 'em.

 

Bite me.

 

Love, Victurd                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

 

Howya doin?

Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, Ross.

Them'r friends.

Verywell. That. That's an online 'trustworthy health and wellness information resource with over 300 million annual users. Side note.  How they know that?  How many? I want that job.  Pay me, I'll count 'em.  That should take, get me to.. oh, I dunno, age 85 or 90 eh?

Verywell.  Verywell says there's 4 kinda friends.

Acquaintances.  Met 'em a few times, maybe parties, or through mutual friends. We kinda sorta know their names, a little bit about them, but, haven't really had any heart to heart conversations, or, spent much time with them one on one. Any friend is a good friend to have. 

Casual.  Office, gym, book club, for instance.   We know more about them than acquaintances, but that friendship is closely tied to the environment, arena, we see, meet them in. Victorwell (NOT VeryWell or perceived JoelOlsteenWell) thinks these type of friends, are, can be, fun... and certainly developed into something deeper.  

Close friends.  Besties. Inner circle. Bond with, talk to often, share our struggles. and confide our deepest, darkest fears with, VeryWell does very well in highlighting the yummy aspects here... emotional support.. trust.. .comfort.. fun... quality time..  advice..love.. accountability..      

Lifelong friends.. .  buddies since we were snotnoses. Tend to be our most authentic self around them, and vice versa.  More yummy aspects, steadfastness, shared experiences, belonging, familial ties, timelessness, lifelong memories.  

Verywell didn't end the article I read very well.  Necessities I spose.. Friendship ebb and flow... Sign of a good friend.. .Sign of a bad friend.. How to know when someone is no longer a good friend.   

I am positive in that I really really really like positive here, and not yuck.  Yuck certainly does happen.  We lose friends sometimes seing 'true colors'.  Ain't none of us perfect, and perhaps we prompted a getaway by a friend because we had shown our not-so-good-side.

 We is human, hear us roar.

Ain't it kinda a cool thing to look, think back.. picture which of our friends we would place in all those categories up there?

If we had to whittle down friendship to it's finest aspects... from my stinky feet it might be......... it's very nice to care about someone... and, to have someone who cares about us.

I think we could all write the sentence:

"You'll never know how much I appreciate you and our friendship. You've helped me immensely in life and I'd try my best to do anything to help you."

Today marks one year since the loss of our son.  

"You'll never know how much I appreciate you and our friendship. You've helped me immensely in life and I'd try my best to do anything to help you."

Love, Victurd

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Selection Sunday.........

Daddy (sang bass, but, he also said) "When I's a kid, there tweren't no choice.  Mama said 'Run upstairs and git ur new britches on, make sure Sally is helping your little sister with her hair, then, git ur butts down here and, in the car by 8:45am for church, or else."  Never did challenge, find out, what that 'or else' was.  Figured it came with blisters.

Are you kidding me?  Did you NOT see the picture of The King, Richard Petty?  There's only one way to turn on Sundays... left, and obviously, Nascar. The whole fam damily.

We represent the lollipop guild..... we can't write or spell yet, but, we sure know howta lay on the floor infronta the TV all Sunday morning for Bugs, Tom and Jerry, Yabba dabba Fred and Barney, Smurfs. Ain'tno other stuff we'd consider, as in, That's All Folks.

Hi, I'm Bob, and I'm Karen, Sunday's our favorite day 'cause 'Mericans are home, ain't at work.  We spend early mornings catchin' up, he reading The Wall Street Journal and watching Fox, while I checkout The Washington Post and watch CNN, then, we get on Facebook, spend hours and hours calling people we don't know ugly names, offer 'well said' on them we agree with..you know, get our hearts'a pumpin'.. then, we forgive and forget for a short, run to the 3rd bedroom, have mad, amorous, then, back for round two...enda the night, she goes and sleeps in her bedroom, and, I, mine.  Picture perfect Sunday.

Hi. My baby and I, we don't do nuttin' during the week... festive diet of mac and cheese, ramen noodles, peanut butter (he likes PBJ, I'm more attuned to PB and sliced bananas, yum). Inotherwords, we're thrifty, SO, we can go every Friday night  to the B&B, buy us two tickets to a newest movie coming out, grab us a Giant Bucket of popcorn, he, a Diet Coke, me, a regular Pepsi.. we pretend like we're Rotten Tomatoes after, review this, challenge that, like, no like... take, keep notes... and it all leads up to our favorite, the Academy Awards. The day before, we go to The Used Prom Dress Thrift Store for me, and then he gets a tux for 24 hours from Men's Warehouse... our HEAVEN, our Sunday selection.

Teal, be for real. In KC, it is ALL ABOUT SOCCER, THE, Kansas City Current, HOME OPENER. Won, 2-1.  Soon, FIFA, World Cup. Sure, we enjoy the Chiefs, football, but, we get our kicks with Futbol, and, The World's FIRST Stadium built specifically for women's soccer.  Nanny nanny boo boo. 

For us, there was no question. No, not church, nor cartoons, Nascar - be for real.. we got ridda FB eons ago.. why pay $34 for a Giant Bucket of popcorn, when you can go to the ballpark and buy a bag'a peanuts for $4. No one cares about 'footie'. Baseball Ray, there's no other way.  I'm soooooooooooooo glad my wife grew up in a family that went to Spring Training every year (me?  I wore out a kajillion pairs of jeans playing wiffle ball in the yard 24/7, well, almost anyways. GO TEAM USA! ONE MORE, then, it's the MLB Network and however many Selection Sundays there are within 162 games.  HOLY COW!  Back back back back back...Go crazy folks, go crazy. We do.  Every Sunday. 

So now you know, The Rest of The Story.  Good day, Paul Harvey.

"HEY WAIT!  What about us?"  Basketball Jones and Brittany. 

Oh yeah, them too. (Go MU, and... Cal Baptist!)

Love, Victurd 

Woke up, fell out of bed............

Here comes the sun, might as well get up.  I sit on the edge of my bed. HELP, I need somebody.....I wanna hold your hand.  If I fell... . then, I take note of my belly way, way sticking out, the lovely hole in my boxer briefs.... Nvmnd. I got this.

 

OUCH, twist and shout......... the dayum legs don't work like they usedta.  Yesterday.  Same thing.  A day in the life, ya know?

 

Off to pee... the long and winding road........  ahhh.. much better.  I feel fine.  HEY, forgot, with Winter rearing it's head again today, I went to the Piggly.  A FULL, red plastic jug of Folgers.  Baby you're a rich man.

 

Do you want to know a secret?  I didn't do NUTTIN' Yesterday.  Gonna do it again today.  Get back. Get back to what I was doing.

 

This ole house is awful dirty, this ole house is such a mess (no, wait, that ain't the Beatles.. that's what my mom would sing when she cleaned.  Dirt.  Here, there and everywhere. 

 

Kansas City, hey hey hey hey, no, wait.. Topeka, going to Topeka to pu grandson.  The long and winding road of I-70. I could go the backroads, the Magical Mystery tour thru Lawrence... nah, stinks over there.

 

Proud'a your blog ain'tya Victor?  Well, dunno about Proud. I enjoy it, but, I don't wanna be a paperback writer... This boy just gonna blog. Keep stuff light.

 

Been thinkin'. Gonna quit dating. You're gonna lose that girl Victor. Nah, you've got to hide your love away.  Too independent now, can't do the "You really got a hold on me" thing.  Get back.  Get back watchin' sports, golfing, Sudoku, you know, like Yesterday.  She's a woman, tain't worked real longterm yet, even Sexy Sadie, lady Madonna, Maggie Mae, them.  I'm a real nowhere man.

 

I saw her standing there.  They're everywhere.. Here, there, and everywhere.  If I fell.............. nah. I feel fine, but... Helter skelter.. I'm a loser.

 

Now the weather is better, I'm working at the golf course.  I have to admit it's getting better.  Good day sunshine, thank$.  I don't wanna work Eight Days a Week, two is fine.  Don't like nights, day trippin' better.  Can't buy me love. Victor, I think that's illegal anyways.

 

Doctor Robert. I've got an itchy itchy rash.  Don't bother me. Eh, all good, probably just a hard days night.

 

Quick nap. I'm only sleeping.  I'm so tired.  It won't be long.  WOAH, bad dream.  Maxwell's Silver Hammer. Ran into the yard. Octopus's Garden, Yellow submarine. Lucy in the sky with diamonds, then, I knew I was dreaming. Nowhere man.  Ooops, forgot about the hole in the skivvies, please Mr. Postman, forgive me. 

 

Sorry, kinda. Didn't feel like blogging. HEY, you've got hide your blog away... from time to time.

 

Off to Topeka. Hello, goodbye. Lemme see, GPS says "In a half mile, use the right lane to turn right on Penny Lane.  I'm only sleeping. Drive my car. VICTOR, IT AIN'T A WAYMO!  Oh, sorry. I'll follow the sun. It won't be long. DRATS, outta washer fluid. Damn Blackbird.

 

The fool on the hill. I BEG your pardon?  Kansas ain't gots no hills.  Foothills out by them Mercedes fans, there ain't no real hills.

 

Good night. Just gonna pullover for forty winks.....  knock knock.. LOVELY RITA? The hell you doing here? It's the Service area, ain't no parking meters.  Money, that's what I want.  OH! Onea them lizards eh?  Ahm, no thanks. No ticket to ride today, sorry.  We can work it out. I want to hold your.......SORRY!!!! Can't. Mebbe when I was sixty-four.

 

She came in through the passenger side window. Oh Darling! I pushed her out. You're gonna lose that girl. I don't care, I gotta get to Topeka, pu my grandson. Gotta roll. Run for your life. Wowser, magical mystery tour.

 

You win, I'll stop.  But, don't blame me, you knew I was crazy when you started reading. Bye.

 

Love, Victurd

PS, i love you