Just checking in........

I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?

No, really, I do wanna know.  I spend WAY too much time here on 'me'... then folks run like cockroaches when I do.

So who are you? Are you a neat freak, or, have you lived a dog-eared life?  OCD or, "the hell did I put that?". What was it like, and do you remember the first time your folks took off your training wheels?  Didya fall?  Did any, of your kid trevails outdoors, have you end up in the Doctor's office for stitches or mebbe a cast?

Ever been in a fist fight?  Especially would love to hear from you girls on this one...   What's it like pulling someone's hair so they fall to the ground?  Or, having that done to you?

Do you remember, on your written driver's test.. which way you are supposed to turn the wheels on the car when you are parked, going downhill?  First car, did you buy your own petrol?  Or, on an allowance?  What was your very first job, how did it start, and better yet ,how'd it end?

Ever split a pair of pants/jeans?  Did you go home immediately, or, "I'll change when I get home", which, leads to the next question, Boxers or briefs??  And gals, nah, we don't need to know.

First crush?  Did you marry 'em? Ha!  It happens, or so I hear.  Favorite nextdoor neighbor ever?  Did your family move a lot growing up?  Did you spend time with your grandparents?  Cousins, aunts, uncles?

What did "when I grow up I wanna be ________" actually turn out to be? Growing up, what class, subject, gave you a tummy ache?  Do you know what PEMDAS is?  Onomatopoeia?  The first 5 Presidents? How old were ya the last night you spent/lived at your folks house?

How much did your first car cost? How long did you have it?  Did you ever, on a family trip, lay in the very very back of a station wagon?  Did you have a Radio Flyer wagon as a kid?  If you had a skateboard, was it 'real' or, plywood with someone's old roller skates bolted on?

Ever....  snow ski...   water ski....  canoe trip....  kayak... big ole raft?  Did you go to church as a kid?  Ever get in trouble in doing same?  Go now?

If ya married... was it in a church?  Honeymooned at _______?    Ride in the trunk into the Drive Inn Theater?  Tear the 'federal offense tag' off of a pillow?  Heaven forbid, get up, go sit in a better seat at a ballgame that wasn't where your ticket said?

NFL game, Survivor, AFV, Chopped, Andy Griffith are all on at the same time...... you're watching?

To Tell The Truth........ you, mate..  ever argue about:   money..  parenting...  who's driving...  how, whoever is driving..    route to take... smooching (or not)..  Inlaws..  I'm going golfing, or, I'm going to Bunko... or, heaven forbid, politics.?..  

Do you sleep on your side, your back, your tummy or, some combination of those?  Ever kick out a snorer to the extra bedroom... or, go yourself due to same?  Dogs, cats in bed legal or hell to the no... howabout on the sofa?

What word do you choose to say when your little toe catches the coffee table as you walk around it?

Cry easy?  Enjoy touch, and I don't mean the naughty kinda touch.. I mean high fives, comforting kids, holding partners hand, that stuff.

THE LONGEST you've ever talked on the phone, and who to?  Night owl or early bird?  Best movie ya ever saw?  

Would you buy, wear a top from a Thrift Store? Camp in a tent?  Swim in a lake?   Skinny dip?  Truth, have ya?  Condo by the beach or, cabin in the mountains?  Class reunion or hell to the no?

Favorite decade of your life? What's the bravest thing you ever did?

I hope it NEVER happens, but, if someone told you "You're gonna die tomorrow"... what things would be on your "I wish I woulda" list?

The last time you were scared, where were ya and why were you scared?  Do you fall asleep then go to bed, or, go to bed then fall asleep?

Anything been a lifelong challenge for you?  Still got your teeth?  All of 'em?  Most of 'em?  Stop, count... outta four, how many are the ones you were born with? (hips, knees).. 

Flying.  Old hat, or, keep barf bag near?  Ever ride a choo choo?  A real one, some distance.

Sauna, jacuzzi or neither?  Pool or ocean?................ Shower or bath?  Coffee or tea?  Interstate or backroad?

Things on TV you'll never watch?  Things on TV you simply won't miss?

My top 5 favorite faces to see are..................................  Balcony or deck?  Fireplace or fire pit?  Sun or the moon?  Daylight savings yay or nay?  Speed limit is 70, how fast are you going?

Ever have your bank account compromised?  Get it back?

I wasn't gonna include me, but, my bank, same one, long time... now, when I go, every time, every transaction from the drive thru.. I must give them driver's license, and, for transaction to happen, i must give them the 6 digit code they send me.  Too much, or, I'm glad they protect?

Ever shot a rabbit?  Cooked a fish you caught?  Hired a taxidermist?  Does a lazy river sound exciting, relaxing, or, a waste of time?

My fridge always has _______ in it.  To get your troubles to go down the drain, do you call Roto Rooter, or, the local guy?

When's the last time you wrote a check?  Used a pay phone?  Rented a movie?  Did a flip? (Did you, could you ever, do a flip?)

Did you ever have to make up your mind... say yes to one and leave the others behind...  Doya like good music?

Before I die, I'd sure like to talk to ________ and _______ and _________ and _______ again.  Well, what's stoppin' ya?

Ketchup on your hot dog?  Pineapple on pizza?  Favorite girl scout cookie flavor?  Pie?

Victor, why did you do this?  Cause I couldnt thinka nuthin else to write about, and when I relate crap about my ongoings, everyone runs (and I don't blame ya.)

So............please......... using a number 2 lead....... or, your computer, print, scan......(Oh, ,I finally got ridda my landline ST1-4398) and gotta cell..  so..  complete your answers and text me the results...   867-5309.. you know the area code.  You do not have the right to remain silent...everything you say will be, either loved, laughed at, or "you too?ed?)  I mean, wth, it's the day and age of Social Media, hop to it.

Tune in tomorrow, I'll share everyone's answers.

Love, Victurd

The verdict is in...........

I hope I do this giving justice....

Come and listen to a story about a man named Andy....

You mean Griffith?  No.  Oh, then, that pizza joint in North Myrtle Beach, Famous Andy's?  No.

Andy Reid.  You HOMER! BORING! There are a kajillion good coaches in the NFL.. I ain't a Chief's fan, WHY should I read?

Reid, please trust me.

One of Andy's qualities - his preparation.  I'll never ever hold a candle to him in that area, but I kinda sorta feel like I know (of) him, OK.  Years (and years) of observing from afar (BYU, MU, San Francisco State, Green Bay, Philly, and much more.  Then, close up, here in Kansas City...   Days after being dumped by Philly... a plane trip and three head coaching interview setup - first stop, Kansas City.  He never got off the plane.  Clark Hunt liked, loved him so much - the feelings were mutual, he agreed to become the head coach in KC, canceled all his other interviews.

Boring Victor.  Mebbe.  Back to preparation.  Watching with real eyeballs ain't enough..  I (always) go to Wiki.  Gotta learn the basics.  Then, at the bottom of Wiki there was an article written before he'd ever won a Super Bowl.  To me, reading it was exhaustively yummy.  It was like a trip through THE BEST buffet you ever seen. Diversity in foods (Owners, GM's, Players, co coaches, Assistant coaches, Trainers, longtime friends) and.. the excitement of going back to get a new plate (feed me more Seymour) to continue to the superlatives of 'Reid', eat.

I went back thru and highlighted some'a the descriptors, I found.  Bear wit' me.

Vibrant. Big smiley baby face, grandfatherly way even when he was young, no stone left unturned. Teddy Bear and a gentleman. dry sense of humor.

That's a start, Family, HUGE (in stature yes, but too) in family. Mom, a Doctor, an unbelievable analytical mind, dad an artist, outside the box thinking. So a little art and a little science in his football.

His affinity for all things passing (QB's, formations, motion, routes, plays, yada) probably originated with his first "Bomb" way back in the day as a kid on Holly Knoll Drive in LA.  He, his buddies, took a section of gutter to the toppa the hill, loaded a shot put in it, and leggo, thinking it would go harmlessly into the curb below.  Soon, they were in awe as they watched... at 40 mph, it jumped the curb, goes airborn, BOOM through one car door, out the other... he, his buddies, scattered like cockroaches.

Andy was XXL before Double XL was cool.  If you've ever seen the Punt Pass and Kick picture of him when he was 13, he was literally TWO feet taller than the rest.

Back to family and the importance of. "It didn't matter if you were new to the team, that man knew your name, your family's names, where you were from, everything. He would call guys up, undrafted guys and ask them, "Hey, how's Betty?" And guys would be like, "Oh, how'd he know?  Big Red just asked me how my mom is doing!"

With the 2nd pick in the 1999 draft, to Philly folks, it was a given it'd be running back Ricky Williams of Texas. Andy, then, head coach AND GM, was adament, nope, Donovan McNabb, QB, because of his ability to make plays on his own, and, a personality, part joker, part general, that reminded Andy of Farve (when Andy was with Green Bay.)

That year, the Eagles lost their first four games.  QB then, Doug Peterson, somehow survived the first half beating from the 10-0 Dallas Cowboys.  Fans were SCREAMING "PLAY MCNABB! F-REID! PLAY MCNABB!"  An assistant walked up to Andy.. "PLEASE play McNabb...they're throwing batteries at us, I don't wanna get killed."  Andy answered, knowing Donovan wasn't ready, "I'm going to do what I'm going to do and I don't care what you guys are thinking." Somehow, lo and behold, they rally, upset the Cowboys 13-10.

In the early morning of August 5, 2012, after a long battle with drug addiction, Reid's oldest son Garrett, a strength and conditioning coach for the Eagles, was found dead from an accidental heroin overdose in his dorm. He was 29.  John Banner, then Eagles President "I remember the funeral vividly. It was a testament to him and to all the relationships he's built in and out of the NFL.  The line just went on forever.'

Fletcher Cox, Eagles defensive tackle, "I had just lost my grandmom and had to go home my rookie year. Andy and I were talking about how important family is, and a week or so later he had the death of his son. I'll always remember that conversation with him.

John Harbaugh, then Ravens coach, and an assistant for Andy in Philly for 9 years... "I always saw a 3-by-5 card right behind Andy's desk. It had two words written on it: Don't judge, and I never asked him about it because it was pretty clear-cut what it means.  It's a biblical principle, but the point of the whole thing was: Take people for who they are and for where they're at in their life, as football players, as coaches, whatever, and let them be who they are."

Steve Mariucci, who coached with Andy in Green Bay, "Andy's a compassionate guy. You see it in how he handles players who have been down and out, and he's one of those guys who believes strongly in second chances in life.  Some guys are not willing to do that, but he tries to help guys who have had indiscretions. Takes them under his wing, tries to help them through. And I think that goes back to Garrett."

After Garrett's death, the Eagles season staggered through at 4-12.  After a 42-7 loss to the NY Giants, the Eagles reluctantly fired Andy. Andy got one more chance to talk with the team. When he finished, his players sent him off with a standing ovation.  That just doesn't happen.

Rick Burkholder, then Eagles trainer (now Chief's trainer) "The day we were leaving Philly, when the party was officially over, my two daughters called me and said "We want to see Coach Reid." I said, "Why?" And they said "What if we never get to see him again?" I mean, these are 12 and 9 year old girls! So I called Andy, "I know you're having a hell of a day, but my girls want to see you."  "Bring 'em up."

Everything wasn't (yet) up to date in Kansas City. In 2015, the Chiefs started 1-5. Andy stood in front of the team, "Look, no one's losing their job, no one's getting fired, no one's getting demoted or cut.  We're not gonna change a thing. We're just gonna practice harder and believe in each other and get this right." The players looked around and they didn't know a coach could be that way, steady and even, without having to yell or scream or cuss.  Ten wins later, the Chiefs were 11-5 and in the playoffs.

Steve Spagnuolo, Chief's Defensive Coordinator. "I feel a sense there's a more relaxed Andy Reid who is enjoying what he's doing tremendously.  I really see that. We are in offices that back up to each other, side by side, so we can both look out the window and see the same thing. And we're both early morning guys. When I look out the window and see a beautiful sunrise, I'll take a picture and text it to Andy, who is literally on the other side of the wall.  After I send the picture, always, a comment comes back or a smiley face or a text that says something like "We have the greatest jobs in America."

The life of a professional football coach is, obviously, extremely stressy and time consuming.  All those around KC, find a new pep-in-the-step of Andy since he's become a grandfather. It's always, back to family.

Along comes Mahomes. Burkholder "I've never seen Andy sit down during a game, so the first time he went and sat down next to Mahomaes, as a medical guy, my thought was "Is there something wrong with him?" I don't say anything, I just watch him. He's teaching this kid like when I was a little kid and my dad sat down with me after baseball practice. That's the grandfather part of Andy.  That's the part that's different than before.

Remember the Chiefs having the AFC Championship game against the Patriots wrapped up, and then Dee Ford stepped offsides, Patriots cashed in on the second chance.. No Super Bowl for Andy.  Spagnuolo "I talked to him three days after the game and I don't think the conversation ever went back to that game.  All he wanted to talk about was going forward.  Typical Andy."

Tackle Eric Schwartz "The outside world was talking about the offside thing with the Patriots, but he (Andy) was talking about how everyone in this room was probably 4 inches off at some point in the game.  We all could have been 4 inches better, that was his message."

Burkholder "He's probably had as much of an effect on my life as anybody but my father. Great teams, the playoffs, through hell with injuries and deaths and victories and losses and everything."  Burkholder went on to say "If he ever wins a Super Bowl he's a shoe-in for Canton." We now know how that went.

Burkholder s'more "I've known Shady (LeSean McCoy) since high school.. and when he chose to sign here, I said "Why us bro? Is it because of Mahomes?" and  he goes "Pat? No, man, it's because of Andy." How many people take less money and a backup role just to play for a man? And then, we were in a hotel in LA and Terrell Owens came to our hotel just to see Andy.. TO, the guy Andy fired wanted to come see him and talk to him.  You want to talk about legacy? Andy's been in the NFL for 21 years and I don't think he has a single enemy."

Fast forward to today.  The Chief's past year (6-11) is not what we've been used to of late.  If you've got two bucks, or heck, probably five now, there's an article in the KC paper this morning addressing that exact thing....... and... the excitement of Andy Reid readying, looking forward to... is certainly predictable, and for those in life he's touched, fans, players, coaches, teammates, etc., we're lucky to have been a part of his life ride.

I stole a lot, from an article by ESPN's David Fleming from January 19, 2020 entitled "Mahomes, Farve and other NFL stars reveal the larger-than-life tales behind Andy Reid.

I love my ex, but she always reminded me, "Victor, perhaps not everyone is excited about your ideas as you." And, I get it.  Still, I recommend the article, there's so much more in it, including when Reid and Mariucci had just been hired by Green Bay, they, unbeknownst to each other, were staying in the same motor lodge a day before going house hunting, fire alarm went off... Mariucci, ran outside in his tightie whities, looked, three doors down, "Reid?", yep, in his tightie whities... Talked, finally, "He, wanna meet my wife?" so there they were, the four of them, the gals with blankies wrapped around em and tightie whities and all'. 

Or, the time Mariucci and Reid went to Prime Quarter for a 40 ounce steak.. "Eat it in under an hour you get your picture on the wall."  Mariucci, 30 minutes, Andy, 19! Picture is still there!

Sometimes life is like taking a walk in the backyard, dog poop ALLOVER.  It's refreshing, to have in our own backyard, someone kind, consistent, and as genuine as Andy Reid,  Even a Bronco's fan like Terry might at least appreciate, admire him.

Love, Victurd

The Doors.......

Blog.  Insomnia can take me there, thinking about, mebbe even planning the blog. Finding, writing, different, diverse, is akin to opening the fridge door.  Had that, nope, that too, don't want that...I want something NEW, (hopefully) creative.  LIGHT BULB. It was actually dark (Fridge is too.. bulb's out.. I'll get a new one..  next week).  Somewhere between Wordle at 12:17am and another brief insomnia Sudoku snippet at 2:38am I thought.........................

I KNOW! I'll do a blog on the Doors.. I'll increase the indent so it kinda looks like a door... I'll use lryics to open a paragraph, then, type whatever comes to mind after.

Out of bed, 3:37am.  Paid programming on regular channel.  OK, Cowboy and Indian show on  MeTV until the Farm Report comes on at 4a (HEY, I'm from Missouri), then, local news 5a, back in the saddle blogging, then....

 

Reading the list of Door's songs, and one by one, 'hearing' the keyboards blaring between my ears, 'hearing' Jim Morrison's voice... aptly described by Google as "a deep, resonanant baritone that seamlessly blended raw, gutteral power with smooth poetic, and hypnotic vocals. Yum. All.

Ifn's that's all I/we knew about 'em, you'd think they had never ending dollars, played in huge stadiums, arenas, well into their 80's, right along side The Stones, AC/DC, The Who, ZZ Top, yada... and then returned to their Mansions on the French Riviera.

We know, however, that ain't the way their history went......  I dunno if you are like this, but, I am I guess what I would call a rhythm music listener.  I can, do and have, listened to the same groups, songs, for years and years, and have no recollection of the exact lyrics.......

Which, is why, the original idea....... (starting each page with lyrics from a Doors song.. didnt happen.  Vely, vely dark.  Like, 

The time to hesitate it through..

No time to wallow in the mire..

Try now, we can only lose,

and our live become a funeral pyre.......

Like EWW.

People are strange

When you're a stranger

Faces look ugly

When you're alone.. 

So, further study (A quick Wiki of Morrison's life... while amazing, didn't shed much 'light', which, is a goal of this blog, keeping things, 'light', hopeully happy, upbeat..  Jim Morrison was brilliant. All he creatively packed into 27 years of life is, amazing.

That said, in our news we have bombs away, peds getting away, way too many local homicides with the trigger puller getting away.

So.... to quote Jackie Gleason.......... AWAY WE GO............. from that crap.

Life ain't never how ya paint it.  I liken it to golf...... Standing over the ball... you envision (at least I do) exactly how, where, how far, how high, at what speed - it all will go......... THEN, you hit the ball (I actually have swung and missed, recently, please don't tell) and it goes nothing like I/we envision.  Well, my buddy Tommie's golfball does. He's good.  Like the local KC Lawyer ad goes, "He's good... REAL good."  Except, he cusses when his ball heads to the left side of the green off the tee... Me?  I just hope my golf ball is somewhere between the trees on each side of the green.

So........ I really wish this blog was like a snow day...  They're calling for snow here today, welcome to March.  But, insteada the snotnoses getting outta school, or, mebbe, you blog readers, 'it'd be a virtual learning day'....... like, they gotta be glued here.

We could, or I'd love to, have a virtual blog.  We could all switch our cams on.. One by one, you could share whatinthehell you did/do for a living.. .I know some, not all.  We could talk kids, sibs, cousins, parents, spouses, hound dogs, what you use on itchy itchy rashes, relate what's for supper... share '10 things that drive me absolutely batty.' and, lists of things we consider 'the spice of life'. 

I guess we could borrow from Jim on that......... Hello, I love you won't you tell me your name... hello, I love you let me jump in your game.

Doya like good music? Yeah? Yeah? That sweet soul music.  Whatintheheck is the dial of the radio in your car on?  If your spouse is kind enough to cook, and, he/she tells you they are cooking your LEAST favorite meal, can you still smile?"  Do you hate laundry as much as me?

Do you think Moffitt EVER sleeps and if so, when?  Do you think our remarkable buddy who has built, owns, operates FIVE, count 'em FIVE car dealerships ever does what I'd do if I did?  I would..... tell this one, that one, those ones "I'll be over here (specific dealership) today"... then, tell that dealership "I'll be over there" and then I'd play golf, go gamble, go drink two beers at the Landing, fish (I would never fish, but, thought mebbe you might). I don't think he does... He's good.  He's real good.

I don't even know what my buddy Bear did for a living.  Stinks, I should. I BLAB here... I wish I could hear everyone here.

Then, and only then, could we interject stuff like, when Morrison and the Doors started out (mid 60's), they played at the 'sleazy' (their term, not mine) LA club "London Fog" were they shared the headline with Rhonda Lane Exotic Dancer... then moved up to the esteemed Whiskey a Go where they shared top honors with some guy named Van Morrison.

Victor, don't swat me, but sometimes you, your blog go on (and on, and on, and on)..

Well then.  Me and Forrest think, say, "And that;s all I have to say about that."

Thanks, as always, for your eyeballs here....... you light my fire......... daily

Love, Victurd

Kaleidoscope.....

Brilliance.....  a long tube shaped optical toy containing mirrors and loose, colorful bits of glass or plastic... whenya look thru it, and rotate the tube.. the mirrors reflect the materials into an endless variety of changing, symmetrical designs. (I didn't realize symmmmetrical had two M's, seems kinda asymmetrical, or mebbe even assemetrical.)

Life, it is that.  Brilliant.  We begin it, we look up, down, all around... and we old farts, do the same, staring down in wonder at the new little turd... takes a couple months after we realize he/she can't really see a dayum thing, then they finally can focus.  That's quickly followed by their first smile..  then their 67th poop (loud crying), 90th bellyache (s'more crying, "Gee honey, let's have another")... the dreaded fear of that first glance of someone that ain't mom, dad, brother, sister (tears, crying, "Calgon, take me away!").. 

I don't enjoy relating vision stories and in no way am I meaning to poke fun as I have way too many friends that have visual impairment in varying degrees.  I really more intend to mean "our reaction to" things in and around our lives, first time, 20th time, and on and on.

Grandchild three (granddaughter 2, Bella) was a real buttscooter.  Two story apartment, before she could walk, clad in diapers and a t shirt, would navigate stairs, landing, stairs on her butt, barely touching any of 'em, top to bottom faster'n a Nolan Ryan fastball to home.  Made me kinda tear up, wanting to open the door to the outside and proudly proclaim "My granddaughter is THE FASTEST BUTTSCOOTER there ever was!"

She's also the one, somewhere between age 2 and 3, sitting in the kitchen alone........ whilst her babysitting 60 something grandfather and her two older siblings were watching a Spongebob episode for the 6th time that day.  Do you call it babysitting if it's your own grandkid?  Discolor me then if you do because I did. TBC

In spite of, having owned a really small business (forced to calling the shots, ha, my ex was the other employee), having gained way too much experience in several menial jobs in way too many fields... including which was overseeing over a hunnerd 1st thru 5th grade snotnosers a day when I taught elementary PE in the dino days... I WAS NEVER AT EASE "babysitting" my own grands.  RING. "Where you guys at?" Grandpa, we just left ten minutes ago... "Oh, OK, have fun, they're doing good." Click.

That's when I heard the faint voice in the kitchen, the little buttscoot champ, say, "Uh oh." And that's when I ran into the kitchen...at eye level I saw the fridge door opened...behind that table sat the buttscoot champ, completely covered in red, thanks in large part to the now empty bottle of strawberry syrup that was laying next to her.  An hour later, and a entire roll of Bounty, a bath complete with yellow squeeky ducks, you could hardly tell anything had happened. RING. "We'll be home in ten minutes."  Seemed like an hour.  

Door opens, "MOM, BELLA DUMPED THE WHOLE BOTTLE OF STRAWBERRY SYRUP ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR".. Four parental eyes quickly pierced thru me, followed by footsteps to the kitchen, you could hardly tell.  Whew.

Which brings us to this past Thursday... two days ago.  The former buttscooter, now 9, in town for the long weekend thanks for Parent Teacher Conferences, no school.  Staying at Granny's (my ex)... a text "Bella would like to do something with you." I hadta work till dark, was meeting an old college buddy for dinner after... had a 1pm golf game scheduled for Friday.. Victor this is boring.  Anyways, was decided "IHop for breakfast, trip to airport to watch planes takeoff" Friday (yesterday).  Victor, you're a tightwad. Uh huh. You been here how many years and you're just now getting that?

Hi Bell! We ain't doing the traditional IHOP breakfast with crayons to color on the menu.. we're going to drive thru Mickey's... go to Union Station, then, go do that Kaleidoscope thing at Crown Center.  Victor, you can't walk. You're nuts.  Geezer scooter packed, ready in trunk.

McDonald's BOGO app sucks half the time, of course, it did this time.. two (full priced) sausage McMuffins later, we're rolling.   16 miles, trunk opened, 7 underbreath curse words figuring out how to uncollapse (that a word) the geezer scooter... we're off the see the Wizard.  No, that ain't it, Union Station. I fogot to mention the part I damn near choked to death (the driver's side window of my 23 yr old car works worse than the Mickey's app) so, when I opened the door to grab the parking machine ticket, I almost had to ask buttscooter to give me CPR thanks to the seatbelt around my neck.

WOW this, WOW that.  It really is a unique, impressive building. An eclectic mix of a Titanic display, Science City, Miniature train display (free, and closed damnit), the REAL train station part... and a hunnerd and fitty folks with tattoos on ninety percent of their person, in line for the Tattoo Convention in between it all. Titanic ."(too much), Science City (WAY too much)... So, "here buttscooter Bell", as I lifted her over this rope thingy, you wanna look around in here? A store with all things Kansas City inside... she opted for that after i pushed her, jk. A few minutes later," SIR, we don't open until 10."  Trivial point, but ok.

We stared up at the I aint never seen a ceiling this high until our necks hurt... then took the L (glass enclosed walkway) over the roads from Union Station to Crown Center. I am gonna copy and paste this "Can you tell us how to get to Kaleidoscope?" because we got lost for over an hour... Found, asked, a minimum of 16 employees "Can you tell us how to get to Kaleidoscope?" 

We, buttscooter and me in geezer cart, thought we were close once.  Worker spoke no English.. it didn't help that I finally learned "El Bano" in Mehico is where you pee, because I'd already peed...she did finally figure out "Kaleidoscope" on floor tres, led us to an elevator specifically for wheelchairs..  Thanked her again and again.  Nope. Wouldn't go to floor tres.  She came back, again and again, finally, uno had to be punched in.  We made it there.  "Can you tell us how to get to Kaleidoscope?"  Yeah it's on the third floor. Go this way, that way, thru Halls, then left, quick right, up, down, good luck.

We FINALLY made it to the 3rd floor.  Buttscooter had to have had 9,000 steps in by now, I was tired and I was riding.  "Can you tell us how to get to Kaleidoscope?" Yes, it's across the street.  Do you know how to get to the Weston? No.  Left, down. Up.. over after the wooden pillar.. out the door then down the road, left.. then right... OK OK, thanks.

We finally Kallapsed infronta Kaleidoscope ten minutes after our scheduled start time.  Are we too late?  Nah, all  you missed was standing in line.  Whew. Follow me. Thank goodness.  A fun, free (of course it was Victor) hands on artsy thing for fellow little buttscooters, all provided gratus, by Hallmark.

Fun, then boredom.  We headed for the exit.  The exit road was a funny (haha) little snotnose thing with ten, count em, ten very sharp turns to navigate the geezer scooter in, and turns in geezer scooter are like having a limo in a cul-de-sac, it ain't easy.  I'd become fairly accomplished at turning, backing up into elevator doors held open by the wonderful Bella, we finally made it.

Say, can you tell me how to take the L back to Union Station? No, I'm sorry.  Three more employees, I finally, under breath,said to hell with it.. Come on Bell, we're going outside.  I GPS'ed Union Station in my phone.. the first step was "A half mile to Main Street, then right."

With two stops for poor Bella to rest (Grandpa having to pee..... badly).. we finally made it to the top of Main Street.  Signal Hill I think they call it. Buttscooter had to be up to close to 15,000 steps, I worried about the battery on the geezermobile. Around the corner, no Union Station, but HEY, there's the WWI monument (it's across the street from Union Station), come on Bell, hop on.  We had a downhill, literally 3/4 of a mile long trek.  Buttscooter had left cheek on geezermobile, Grandpa, right buttcheek.

We laughed, rode the breeze and the hill, laughed and rode s'more.  Four crosswalks and an Olympic downhill later (not to mention almost getting hit by a vendor box truck backing up, we finally made it into Union Station.  We both went to pee. To car. Trunk opened. Four curse words later I had the geezer scooter compacted to fit in trunk.  Fears of suffication were thwarted as my driver window finally went down for the first time today, enabling me to use charge card to pay for parking.

I wish I had more neater, nicer things within this blog, but that's it. Sorry.  We had fun, we were beat but we'll never forget it. Bella home safely, me to the golf course. On fumes after.  One beer at home, abed a very short time after.

Kaleidoscopes are really brilliant, but all the turning and rotation will wear you out. It takes longer to get to Kaleidoscope from Union Station than it does to get from the bottom of the mountain on Maui to Hana.  More turns too if you can believe that.

Good time with the buttscooter........... I'm gonna scoot on outta here..

Love, Victurd

Sit. Stay. Lay down. Fetch.......... It's the little things......... Care.......

Don't even try, there tain't no rhyme, reason to tie it all together....  such, is/are, the cobwebs of a wrinkly old man's brain.

My first thought was....... old dog, new tricks, as in people.  Every Google I Googled talked about old dogs, new tricks. (Not human, which, is what I was aiming for).   Meet Levi, a big ole' black lab who looks as if he stuck his whiskers in a pile of fireplace ashes... ie, white on the end... aging... (TBC_)

Levi is 11. He's in a joint (Best Friends) where they attempt to adopt out older hound pooches.  Prior, he served a term in prison (not what you think.) It was a program where the inmates worked with hounds to teach basic manners and cues.  Levi was a star pupil, picking up tricks easily, frothing actually, to learn more.  If he ain't learning, he becomes bored, rambunctious, as in, uh oh, watch out.

There was a video of Levi running this obstacle course doing really cool stuff he'd recently learned, followed by a treat. You go Levi, I hope the right home appears soon. (Shout out to my ex... old, big dogs don't find homes often. As such, often euthanized. Such was a rumor at a nearby shelter.  Her, hubby, now proud owners of Gracie, a Shephard mix, enjoying freedom, certainly snacks, goodies, attention, and nifty big ole fenced in yard. Cool.) 

Real people.  It took a lot of searching to learn, find, anything on old people learning new tricks. I found an article where a Dr. Rachel Wu, a psychologist was interviewed.  I listed her name NOT to guard me from plagiarism, but, because it's a cool name to say.. Rachel Wu... Rachel Wu.. Rachel Wu.

Why's it so hard for older folks to learn new things?  I ain't gonna use the " around her quotes, rather, regular ole regular type (vs the ital question). Dig?  Thx.  We are busy. Life is fast. We don't give ourselves time to learn.  A baby is given a year to come up with their first word, we give ourselves ten minutes, and if it ain't learned, we move on. (Dr. Wu didn't say ain't, that was me.)

What then, in addition to them seemingly having more time, are the differences us in how kid learn and adults learn?  Kids see something new, there's curiosity.  We can try to emulate, but it's harder for us.  Also, 'scaffolding' as in, kids have a lot of help, parents, teachers, caregivers, neighbors, et al...  we usually have to pay someone to help us learn, and, it's even hard to find someone. TBC

Fixed mindset.  If we don't know how to do something, we feel it may be impossible to ever learn it.  We don't say to babies, I don't think you'll ever learn to walk, so I'm not going to teach you.  Victor, this is getting very boring.  Sorry, kinda.

And another thing, kids are allowed to make mistakes... if we do, we fear being thought of as senile or something so we give up quite easily rather than be thought of as that. Kids can learn a lot of thing simultaneously, us adults, not so much, we need blinders (to pay attention, coupled with all the external things in our lives.)

This is Victor, not Ms. Wu. (Reminds me of that Love Potion #9 song, "I took my troubles down to Madam Wu, you know that gypsy with the gold capped tooth, she's got a pad down at 34th and Vine....."  VICTOR, it's Rue, Madam Rue, and you should be ashamed for referring to Dr. Wu as such.  Sorry Doc, kinda, sorta, I am.

About kids and simultaneously (not to mention your boredom with this blog) AND, learning stuff.......  My son lived in an apartment complex and there was really cool family, happened to be Hispanic..with five or so young'ns..  (age 6 to 10ish) that usually were outside playing when I pulled in.  They were exceedingly nice to me... ""Hi Sir, how are you doing today?" and we'd chit chat for awhile.... then, as I turned to walk in, it was back to EsPanol and I was alway amazed by their combined fluency and age.  Young kids, new tricks, us frosty tipped geezers, maybe not so much.  

Little things.   Loom large in life.  Like those kids. Much we take for granted.  There are too many little things to count we place in our basket of life. Kids, pets, family, neighbors on our back deck.. perhaps lanwchaired in the cul-de-sac.. ball games, movie night, laughing at the Three Stooges, Tim Conway, Carol Burnett... any, everything of our liking. Small talk. Sweet nothings that are everything.

Finally, a little bit about caring.  What better than caring. A friends name came up in discussion recently..  "Haven't seen so-and-so of late... you?"  I've heard their mate is not doing very well... needing constant attention so they can't really get away.

THIS. AMAZES. ME.  Sadly, as we get to the age of old dogs, time and again we have friends, loved ones, going thru similar.  It is very easy for us to breeze thru life and not stop and think, pray, say, "God Bless" to them, and their mate.

So............ inbetween pickleball......... learning Portuguese....  making pottery, whadever.......

Let's periodically stop... close our eyes and think of those amazing folks living devotion, behind the scenes.

Love, Victurd

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'

Ya ever wake up and not be able to think of anything to blog about?  Victor, they don't blog.  You're the only one that continually get up, writes, shows your hiney, so to speak.

What are your plans today?  Nothin', whadda you gonna do?

Nothing days are among my favorites in life.  My father, with good intent I believe, suggested at times I was a follower.  He'd hand me a paintbrush and a bucket of paint, point to a room in the house, and make promise to pay me probably way too much to do it to it.  I'd be ten dips into the bucket, a buddy's car would stop out front, gone.... I was gone.   Follower.  HAD to be involved, there, with, tag along, shotgun (seat) preferred.

Nowadays, I like nothing.

She tried to speak but nothing came out.......  He'll stop at nothing to win....   She knows nothing about the plan...    It costs nothing...  There's nothing in my pockets...  That movie was nothing special...   I got nothing. 

You don't do nothing around the house.  That's a double negative.  I went from 'I do' to nothing.   The car came to a sudden stop because there is no gas in the tank, nothing.  Gas can? I got nothing.  AAA?  Nope, nothing.

Not a creature was stirring.  Psychology Today says "2 reasons to spend time thinking about nothing'.  I wonder if they're hiring.

Otis drank, jailed himself, nothing an officer had to do.  Barney, occasionally hollered for those around to "NIP IT, NIP IT", say nothing.  Andy often parented with Opie by saying nothing, allowing Ope to come up with the right answer.  Post Andy Griffith family meal cooked by Aunt Bea, nothing left on the plates.  The theme music, nothing but whistling.

Much ado about nothing.  (Today's climate?)  All for naught.  Next to nothing.  Nothing to sneeze at.  Nothing to wipe said sneeze.  Eww nothings.

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.  Socrates.

The cost of this blog, rightfully, nothing.  The content of this blog, usually nothing.  Nothing personal.  

She was stuck in a nothing job.  I wonder if they're hiring.

Bupkus. (I've never heard that, AI recommended). Zip.  Nada. Nil. 

"The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow.  Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed."  Eminem

Raise your hand if you've ever skinny dipped?  WAIT, not quite that high.  Ever been carless?  Penniless?  Mateless?...  CAN. YOU. IMAGINE.  HOMELESS?

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.  100% of short putts don't go in.  Nothing but net.  Every day, individuals wake up entitled to nothing. No one owes them anything.

Nothing.  After loss, nothing and everything is painful.

Retirement.  We all (Except Moffitt) live for retirement.  The joy, quest, sanctuary of nothing.  Then, we go to bed asking "Whereinthehell did all the time go?"

I now have an affinity for nothing days.  You can call it selfish if you like, nothing would bug me if you did.

He went to pee. Nothing.  Prostate checked recently?

Victor, really, nothing to write home about in this blog.... and...  you forgot music, nothing about that......

Money for nothing.  Nothing else matters.  I found a site with 100 songs with nothing in the title.  Nah. Nothing special about any of em.

I'll try to blog better tomorrow... Nothing promised.

Besides, I redacted all the really good stuff. 

Love, "I know nothing" Sgt Victurd Schultze

State of the Union.........

Writing this, this morning....  I'll compare it to the guy having lunch at work in the cafeteria, sitting, visiting, laughing, joking with a coworker, female variety (happens to be exceedingly attractive) - and all of a sudden his wife pops in to surprise him and join him for lunch..  the urge (much like the feeling after writing the title) to say "It's not what you think!"

This ain't, red/blue... "you're an idiot".. "what are you, stupid?"  TASTES GREAT.  LESS FILLING.

Headache, vomit, upchuck (Victor, they're the same thing.... eh whadever).. No, no, no, not just no's, but hells no's.

 

Nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in political poo.......

Erection problems here in Kansas City..... (Victor?  Have you tried Walgreens? I keep seeing these ads on Facebook that "Walgreens is hiding some kinda ED meds that are like .97 cents a pill"... worth looking.)  Ahm, no.  The erection problem is WHERE the Royals will play in 2032.

The Chiefs followed the yellow brick road "over there"...  They (Royals) have discussed, KS, Downtown, KC North..but ain't decided.  I'll prolly be in an urn anyways, but, wanted to update you on our State of the Union. Frankly, I don't care, as long as it ain't Nashville.

In the meantime, my most recent project was a mail in campaign to the Royals BEGGING (complaining) because "There is absolutely NO place, in the Standing Room Only Area to put our beers down, no holders, no rail, no yada, zip."  It worked.  Thanks to our efforts,They're moving the outfield fences in, and as such, it will create 80 new Drinkrail spots. It was hard work, but nothing good comes from slackers.

Back to the Chiefs.  Next project, I'm suggesting a GoFundMe for them.  In spite of somehow hiding half of Patrick Mahomes salary, they are still HELLA over the salary cap.  Call it what you want.. ('Reach for Veach'...he's our GM...  'Reid's Needs'...  'Keep Patrick upright, I mean hell, he's got a bum leg now')

How many panels are on a soccer ball?

I'm trying to learn this crap before 650,000 soccer lovers from other countries invade our town for the World Cup games here this Summer.  That 650,000 is 120,000 more than live in KC now.  I canardly wait for $46 Coronas, and 3 for $99 tacos.

Thanks Google (32 panels on a soccer ball.)  Now I wonder whatinthehell is "EXTRA TIME? "Victor, as much as you abused your body over the years, your extra time started about ten years ago.  BITE ME.

The Chiefs have spent boo koo bucks to reconfigure GEHA Arrowhead Stadium to make it more conducive for soccer.  I don't understand, why would you reconfigure a stadium simply to appease some drunks?  Ya know?

Thanks AI. I guess 'Extra time' happens after a tie in knockout matches (Is this WWE or FIFA?).. an additional 30 minutes (two fitteen minute halves).. if still tied, then the game is decided by "penalty shots" HOLY CRAP? THEY SHOOT EM?  That's bound to bring ICE to KC... VICTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! STOP! You promised!  Oh yeah, sorry. Penalty shots are a one on one attempts to kick the ball into the goal. So, no guns?  No guns. Whew thanks.

I'm still learning soccer. I see they issue a Yellow Card for things like "taking off their shirt in celebration" (And Victor don't EVEN ask when/where are the Women's World Cup games, ya pervert.)  Guilty, I guess. Hell, ain't many years left, can a fella have some fun?

Actually, kinda proud, excited for the World Cup.  Even though it's an additional million plus stool flushes a day (lotta poop), hotels will be full from here to Joplin to Columbia to Des Moines to Salina.  We very much welcome the base camps of Algeria, Argentina, England and the Netherlands.  

SIDE NOTE.  As much as I gripe, complain about our Kansas City Star newspaper, the dudes that work there are the bomb.  If I see, read an article I highly enjoy, I email the author. 100% of the time, I get a very nice reply. Recently, I'd written an email to a Sport's writer who had done crazy research on the history of soccer here in KC... I do enjoy soccer and tease about it... but this guy's article had me sitting on edge reading...  I wrote and thanked him accordingly.

The day after everything went to hell in Puerto Vallarta, I received a very nice "Thank You" from the author of the above article.  It was written at 3:57am Pacific Time... I learned later (via KC Star article) he and his wife were stranded at the Airport in Puerta Vallarta.  I understand food was scarce, and at one point they were all forced out on the tarmac.  He never mentioned any of that.

The State of the Union?  Thankfully, most folks are really really nice, like the sportswriter dude.

I know, I need work on myself.  Ok, I'm off to learn about offsides, handball and accidental handballs.

Play ball... or whatever they say.  Fun, niceness should be our GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL GOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL GOOOOOOAAALLLLLLL!

Have a great day... I'm headed to Walgreens for............. ah...   cough drops, yeah, that's it, cough drops.

Love, Victurd