The below was written in Spanish, and painstakingly translated back to English. It's a mix of fact and fiction, and............ I'll let you decide. It's about travel... and if you believe it all, well... let's just then call it "Gullible's Travels"..
Facts: Three Argentinian men, rode their bicycles over 10,000 miles... through 17 countries... From Gualeguaychu, Argentina, to, CPKC Field, Kansas City, Missouri. The cyclists left Argentina on August 16. 2025, and arrived in Kansas City, yesterday. Argentina plays it's first World Cup soccer game June 16th, vs, Algeria, in Kansas City.
The fiction: (well, mostly fiction... you decide)...
Yamandu (47) was visiting with his younger buddy Vicente (29) almost a year ago.. .and the conversation went something like this......
Vicente? Let's go to the United States and go see a World Cup game in person? Yamandu? You drinking tequila? No way we could afford all that. I mean, we took one trip 850 miles on Aerolineas Argentinas two years ago, I hardly think that's enough in frequent flyer miles to get us 17 countries away to the US.
My friend, Vicente, I meant, we'd ride our bikes. DAMNIT Yamandu, hand me that cup, that's GOTTA be tequila... Nah, it's mate, nuttin' but herbs here... Wow.. it's June, the game is a YEAR from now.. it'd prolly take us that long to make it.. I mean, I really enjoy your company and everything, but, I ain't sure I wanna look at your face 24/7 for an entire year. Problem solved, we ask Miguel to go too!
Are you crazy? He's in pretty good shape, but he's 56! Eh, he'll be fine,and hey, you know how like when we go out at night down here, 7 times outta 10 he picks up the tab? Well, maybe I do enjoy your line of thinking.
Ring, ring, ring......... Hello? Miguel, it's Yamandu.. Vicente and i are gonna ride our bikes to the US to see Messi and crew play in the World Cup next year, wanna go with us? ....................................................................... click, dial tone.
Ring, ring, ring..... WHAT? Dude, I'm being serious. We can do it! I've looked into it. We'd ride about 160K a day, and our gear would weigh around 36 kilos each. Lemme put my readers on. Now since the blogger is gonna write this in Spanish, then, retranslate back to English, let's help him out, how many miles is that and what's the crap we take weigh? A hundred miles a day, and 80 pounds of gear.
Well, if we're being serious, let's all go home tonight, talk to our spouse, then, we'll meet at 7pm tomorrow night at the "Just Juan More Bar"... Cinchy, and since Vicente (fiance only) ain't married, it's just you and me that's gotta ask.
The next evening...........
Dude (Vicente said to Yamandu) what happened? Well , she said "She'd think about it." Was that before or after you got the shiner? I don't remember. I was on the floor. Unconscious. But, I think she'll calm down, and I'll be good. Howabout you? (Miguel, the 56 year old).. Well, I asked her.. we've been married a long, long, long time. She thought about it for a halfa minute, then, she drove to Tienda Bike Store, got me two new tires, inner tubes, then, she got me a brand new backpack, thermos.. ahm, I think she voted yes.
What about dangerous animals along the way? We'll just have to be cautious.. a few jaguars here and there.. some Brazilian Wandering Spiders... it normally takes a couple months to go thru Brazil, but, we'll scoot over to Peru and take the Coastal route. I'm taking my telescoping hoe in case we run up agin any Fer-de-lances, Rattlesnakes, Amazonian Ciant Centipedes, those.
It ain't safe though is it? Surely, going thru 17 countries, one or two will 'have a thing' against Argentinians won't they? You've spent too much time onlline Vicente, there's a greater chance of getting our bike stolen in The Netherlands than in Bolivia... and besides, ain't you a Black Belt? I took karate the Summer between 3rd and 4th grade. Eh, we'll make it.
That settles it. We're taking off from Juan's (they wanna get pictures) on August 15th. 2025, we should make it to KC a couple weeks before they play Algeria.
Lights, camera, action............. AND THEY'RE OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
15K later (that's 9.321 miles).. Guys, sorry... I forgot my teeth. Damnit Miguel! Not to worry, Miguel had just started pedaling home when his wife met him on her bike, choppers in her hand.
Paraguay........... Bolivia....... Peru.............
My feet hurt. I don't wanna hear it Vicente, you're a young punk, I ain't got no muscular padding on my butt, I already gotta pain in the butt, so don't add too it you whiney butt.
Does it EVER stop raining? No. Sorry. Unfortunately we timed it so we're traversing all the way thru the rainy season.
I know we Argentinians eat Milanesa most every evening, but, I'm sick of it. I DIDN'T say I was sick of you guys (consciously thinking he was).. but I vote we take a night off, go have a REAL meal. Well, since it is almost Thanksgiving, let's take that path there.. we'll be in Lima by Thanksgiving, we turkeys can have turkeys. i thought that was only an American tradition? Well, damnit, then we'll have Ceviche or Antichuchos, SOMETHING different. Ain't no time for dilly dally though.
Miguel? You're old. What can you tell us about biking across Central America? Bite me Vicente, once we get to Colombia, I'll stop and charge my phone, look it up.
Da da da daaaat da daaaaa (CHARGE).........
It says take a throw away wallet with ones and fives in case ya get robbed. Have lots of small bills, no one has change for a 20. "Camping is dumb, don't do that. Not safe. Stay in a brothel. WHAT? You mean hostel? Oh yeah, that, those. Take some fix a flat. Duh.........
Senor'! Senor'! Yes? Which way is Matamoras? Come, I show you. No, you can point, it's cool. (Does).
Yamandu, we'll stop at Burger King once we get to Corpus, always wanted wanna them King crowns... If they ask you if you want ICE in your Pepsi, just say no.. But I like my drinks cold, and, I was gonna get Mountain Dew anyways...... Damnit Vicente, just say no.
Miguel Silio, Yamandu Martinez and Vincente Conculini (fact) were greeted all along their US trek... in fact, they were escorted by fellow cyclists the last ten or so miles.. Arrival to cheers. Champagne downed. The Star caught up with Vincente, "We don't have the words to describe it... we were taken back by the generosity of those turning out to cheer us on."
(Fiction?) One by one they called home to let them know they made it. They're safe.
Yamandu... the 40-something father... ring, ring, ring........ "The number you have reached is not in service."
Miguel (the old guy)....... ring, ring, ring..... 'Honey, we made it!" That's great! Take you're time coming home, I'm doing just fine here! We're flying home after the game. Oh... OK.
Vincente........ ring, ring, ring....... talks for a monent, frantically throws his phone on the ground, breaking it. Takes off on his bike. Vincente? WHERE YOU GOING? i just talked to my fiance... she told me she's PREGGO. THAT's AWESOME BUDDY! CONGRATS! Ahm, we've been gone 10 months.. she says she's due in December. You do the math.......... And off he goes.
Yamandu starts to chase Vincente... Miguel grabs him. "He's young, there's no point in stopping him. He'll never come back."
But, but, he's got the tickets for the game! OH SH*T, let's go!
By Felipe Gibson
Love, Victurd
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