Noise. Ain't it wunnerful, awful, scary, shocking, soothing, fingernail chalkboarding, moving, inspiring, lots.
Paul and Art on their Sounds of Silence. Nature sounds are, can be, vely vely nice. Crickets do kinda confuse me. Ya know when you read something, and like, there's no response (ie, "crickets") well hells bells, crickets are noisy... persistently chirping... and, after Wiki'ing crickets today, come to find out, the chirping is done by males in attempt to woo the female crickets. I'll never be able to relax again outside at night, not at a campground, backyard, by a lake... whatever.. knowing Jiminy Cricket is courting Jenny Cricket...
Ever eat a pine tree? No.. that ain't it. Ever hear a pack of coyotes at 3am? Good golly. "Short howls that often rise and fall in pitch, punctuated with staccato yips, yaps, and barks." Victor? Yes? Did you write that? Hell to the no, I can't write that good. Right you are. And of course, come to find out, onea the reasons they do all that staccato crap is "during mating season". I KNEW IT. All men are crickets, coyotes, pigs. Can't we simply shut up?
Next thing I spose you'll tell me is that a trillion of those damn loud cicadas are gonna invade, and that that noise is a male piggy mating call too? Ahm, sorry Victor. Yes. And yes. Don't worry, their lifespan is only a month or so. Interesting, that's kinda like mosta my relationships. Two months may be my record!~
Damn the Barry White insect, animal noises... get me outta here... take me to the Wide Wide Worlda sports......
Ballpark noises. Hey batter batter batter, saaawing batter batter. Popcorn! Peanuts! Take me out to the ballgame. Let's go Royals (sorry, to folks everywhere else). The crack'a the bat. The judgmental boos of the ump's performance. Bark at the park nights. The yawn, 8th inning, when one is old.
Voices..
The distinct voices of announcers. Howard Cosell. Harry Caray. Vin Sculley. Chris back back back Berman. Ed McMahon. Johnny come on down Olson.
Voices ya come to hate. Call me judgmental, there are simply some voices in our lives that are abhorrent. Ya hear 'em and ya Popeye out (I've had all I can takes and I can't takes no more.) Maybe it's just me, I dunno. There's one lady in town I continually end up at the same McDonalds, grocery store, wherever, and I run. I run the hell the other way. I'm sure she's a darn fine lady, there's just sumpin about her voice (ahm, #1, the volume).
Familiar voices. Yes. Yum. "I like you" voices. "I love you voices." Voices from yesterday, now gone, but, you will never ever forget the voice. The attached hurt due to the fact you can't hear those voices live any longer.
I love me some saxophone music. Can damn near fall asleep to it. Day in day out our lives are accompanied by noise - but, music, our choices therein, the melodic menu. Just take those old records off the shelf. I was country, when country wasn't cool. I dig, rock and roll music. Will ya love me till the end of time. DAMNIT! Does EVERYTHING have to do with mating?
Asses bray. Bees buzz. Cat meow, or whatever they want. Cows moo. Dogs bark. Victor? Yes? Are you gonna force us thru a long, alphabetical list of this crap? Mebbe.
Ducks quack. Frogs croak (cicadas do too after 60 days or so). Lions roar. OK, I'll stop.
Bacon frying. Sirens. Chain saws. Jackhammers. Lawnmowers. Church bells. Fireworks. Horns honking. GPS instructing. Whistles. Laughter. Giggles. Baby coos. Old fart's dadburnits. For English press one. Trains. Planes. Will this be dine in or carry out? Will you be using your app? Please pull up to window one. Please pullup s'more, your food ain't ready, we're short snotnoses today, we'll get it toya when we get it toya. TY for shopping our KMart.
Live from New York. Heeeeeeerrrrrrrrreeeeeeee'ssssss Jooooohhhhhhnnnnnny! Tonight we've got a really big shoe. Are ya ready kids? Aye aye Captain. I CAN'T HEAR YOU. AYE AYE CAPTAIN........ Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
"Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." Alan Dundes
Marco. Polo. Outta water.
Victor? Yes? Ain't it about time for the fat lady to sing?
"90% of all jazz is half improvisation." Yogi Berra.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning.
to all our company.
M-I-C
see you real soon
K-E-Y
why? because we like you
M-O-U-S-E.
And that's the way it is.
Love, Victurd
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