Eh, it'd never happen. "You're 72 years old..... you got a C+ your HS Senior year in English.. your breathe smells of hot dog and ketchup (Eww).. you dangle your participles, you use present, past and future tense all in the same paragraph, sometimes even in the same sentence, you can't sing you ain't pretty and your legs are thin."
Eh, whadever.
Sport's across the globe..... car loads of buddies, I coulda woulda shoulda been within, arrived early to tailgate for the Saturday Night Kansas City Royal's game.... the first 10,000 folks thru the turnstiles were gifted with a Hawaii-like Royal's shirt. They, the group, didn't make it in early enough to nab a shirt. This ain't no Gomer "Surprise surprise".. some folks within the group, one time, band camp.. were at Opening Day.. imbibed in the parking lot until inning #2, only to get to their seat to find Starting pitcher Luke Hochever had given up 7 runs in the first inning... ballgame over, basically, some fans even headed up the stairs, the other way.
Glady's Kravitz's cousin 'Karen'? By now, sorry Sport's fans (this ain't the E-edition where ya get it milliseconds after it happens, this is newsprint, kinda sorta) you've probably heard the story of Philadelphia Karen. Sitting in the outfield area in LoanDepot Park, Miami, a dad and his son (both clad in Phillies gear) had high hopes of somehow getting 'a home run ball'.
Happened, kinda sorta. Harrison Bader of the Phillies launched one over the fence, dad, ran with a hunnerd others... two hunnerd arms feeling allover the ground for the baseball... lo and behold, dad got it! Ran back to his seat, PROUDLY handed it over to his obviously excited son! Mission accomplished.... but... hold on.....
'Karen', who was seated somewhere in the vicinity of where Bader's tater landed, immediately, ran up to said father. SCREAMED "THAT BALL IS MINE.. YOU NEED TO GIVE IT BACK NOW!".. gulp, gulp, and another gulp. She was relentless. Fans boo'ed her. She didn't flinch, got all up in dad's face... to deescalate the moment... dad, grabbed the ball back from his son and handed it to 'Karen'.
Boo's got LOUDER. 'Karen's' significant other was so embarrassed, he bootscooted up the steps. The still seething 'Karen' followed suit.
Rumors moved faster'n it took Bader's ball to go over the fence... 'Karen' was temporarily identified as Leslie-Ann Kravitz, an employee of Hammonton School District in New Jersey. Not-so-fast........
"The woman identified on social media as 'Phillies Karen' is not, and has never been an employee of the Hammonton Public Schools located in Hammonton, New Jersey," a statement from the Hammonton Schools read. "Social media and news reports indicating that she is, are incorrect."
"Anybody who works for our school district, attended as a student, or lives in our community, would obviously have caught the ball bare-handed in the first place, avoiding the entire situation."
The Marlin's organization, before the game was even over... gifted the lad a bag with a ball, hat, shirt, yada inside. On toppa that, Bader himself heard, saw videos of the ball snatching Karen, invited the kid down to the locker room after the game, gave him a signed bat. Perty nifty Birthday present. (Yes, in spite of 'Karen's' attempt to blow out his candles, his birthday was tops. But wait, s'more.
'The CEO of Camping World, upon seeing the boy stripped of the ball by 'Karen', gifted him and his dad World Series Tickets.. . But wait, s'more.
And, an RV. Take THAT 'Stay outta my yard 'Karen' Kravitz!
Udder'n that, business as normal around here. Royal's (hopes are up!) won two in a row...back in race...... then lost. Chief's, 3-peat wanna be's, flew 10 hours to Brazil, hopped a bus for another 3 hours... jet lagged their way to a disappointing loss to the Chargers in their opener.
Bills scored 16 points in the final three minutes to 'walk off' and zap the Ravens.. Bill Belichick, whose team lost their opener, giving up, gulp, 48 points (most ever in his career)..found a way for his North Carolina Tar Heels to win game two, was seen after on his knees, arms folded in prayer, muttering something about hoping his 25 year old girlfriend rethinks her earlier decision to enter the transfer portal after the opening game lopsided loss.
Oh, and MU beat KU... crickets in the Lawrence (KC) Star after.
Forward by Trent Crimm
Love, Victurd
No comments:
Post a Comment