Help I've fallen and I can't get up.

 I can't remember squat. Well, i do.  That was a nickname we donned on a fraternity brother who was rather short.  He was what we called a house-boy, a fraternity brother who I think legally (work study?) made an extra nickel by serving us brothers during lunch and dinner. Squat's claim to fame was poking a pencil hole in the bottom of a Styrofoam cup, filling it with the requested milk (finger of course over the hole so it wouldn't leak), then handing it to you, removing finger, thus, milk aplenty allover one's pants.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Edith...   Like on Archie Bunker.  Archie called her a dingbat.  She actually kinda portrayed it well, but wow she had a heart, a good one, and she was the go between for Arch and her SIL Meathead. Why Edith in this particular blog?  Because I'm a dingbat too. S'more soon.

Fore. As in I work at a golf course. Fore is actually in the password for our free WiFi at the course. The heck's it got to do with this blog?  Passwords.  Do you ever forget 'em? I've had spells where I spend 15 minutes trying to log onto something I've logged onto for 15 years, can't, cause I can't remember the dadgum password, so, run to take another blood pressure pill... if that don't work I request a new password.

So, that's Edith Fore.

Edith Fore is the name of the "Help I've fallen and I can't get up" actress in the LifeAlert commercial from 1989. Yeah, 33 years ago.

With EVERYTHING going up in price nowadays, I guess I can sew this altogether, as in, the heck's it got to do with the price of tea in China.

Help I've fallen and I can't remember how to log into my blog.  I really can't remember.  Thought it'd come back to me, hasn't,so, bit bullet, starting checkeninglight! instead. No idea what it'll look like, doing so anyways.

Did I really fall?  I have something called lymphedema.  It ain't fun, but it ain't near as bad as what many folks deal with. Basically my lymph nodes leak, my leg(s) swell up, it makes me tireder, walk slower, kinda feels like one is walking in fresh concrete.  Doc game me a fancified thing to park near buildings, but said no to medical marijuana, darn the luck. Self deprication helps.  In the rare event I win the hole in golf, it's my turn to tee off first. My lifelong buddies, who recognize the rarity of this event, jointly start to announce "NOW ON THE TEEBOX....." and i interrupt them with "Joe Cocker, from Cripple Creek Colorado" because, ya gotta have fun, and I try.

Fallen?  Yes, once, but not because of lymphedema.  I went on a trip, pun mebbe intended, upon arrival at home, set my suitcase down, then took one step to lock the front door. Taking two steps backwards, I forgot the suitcase was only one step behind me, so yes, I fell.  AOK. Nothing twenty or thirty giggles couldn't get me through.  I no longer read the cartoons in the KC Star. Instead, I video tape me putting on my undies every morning.  It's a hoot. I giggle during. Often.

So, life alert, as in I need to get one! Actually life is perty darn good.

Aside from laughing at myself doing stuff like that, I like to think I'm funny when I answer the phone at work when I recognize the name on caller ID. I've pretty much stuck with "Pizza Hut would this be dine in or carry out" followed by a delay, but that's getting boring, so, new ideas are "Wire the money or else"... or... "Go ahead caller, you're one the air"..or "State Farm, this is Jake."

I'm looking for new ways to "get a life."  I've only tried this a couple of times in travel, but (to me) it's kinda fun, When I see a doggy with his head poked out the car window (and I make sure he ain't got enough space to jump out) I'll say "GO GET YOUR BALL"...it's kinda fun to see the expressions on their faces, turn left, right, left, run to the other window, back, pant with confusion.

I am sure I'll forget howintheheck I got on this blog too...  In the meantime,

I'm back, with  Arnold Shwartshoweveryouspellit

By Henry Gibson1

Love, Victurd1

(I think I will make the password EdithFore1....remind me)