Tuesday, February 13, 2024

It all makes sense now......

"A preachent, dear friends, you are about to receive, on John Barleycorn, nicotine and the temptations of Eve." (Bronx cheer).. 

If you EVER hear me say, write that (It all makes sense now), please wrap me up and Uber me to the nearest shrink's office. Life, to me anyways, is akin to buying a ticket, taking a chair, observing somea the weirdest stuff you'll ever see.  Them 'Hombre' folk's song.  It, to me, is kinda like life.  Written in 1967, yes, I Googled to see "Song meaning" and it's basically a spoof on Bob Dylan. (As if anyone understands what Bob Dylan says, sings.)

I woke up today, watched the way-too-early ABC News, then the local news.  The local news needed NSYNC.  Whilst the Weatherman's voice went on and on in the background, they had a video of their reporter in downtown KC as the Royal's are set to announce the whereabouts of their new stadium. Hmmmm

No parkin' by the sewer signHot dog, my razor's brokeWater drippin' up the spoutBut I don't care, let it all hang out
Then, the local news had video of Donald Trump making a speech, whilst the voice of the reporter downtown spoke to where the new Stadium was going to be.  Is this the real life? Is it just fantasy?
No. It's the Hombres.
Hangin' from a pine tree by my kneesSun is shinin' through the shadeNobody knows what it's all about,It's too much, man, let it all hang out
So, I thought... if I don't, can't, keep up, understand the local news with'a two things going on at once, I'll try the newspaper.  Happened on to a Sport's article on the Super Bowl from The Washington Post.  My first mistake I guess. S'more, soon.
Saw a man walkin' upside downMy T.V.'s on the blinkMade Galileo look like a Boy ScoutSorry 'bout that, let it all hang out
So there I was... I was taken to a place.. The hall of the mountain queens..  Ahm, Victor, wrong song.  You were, or started to, relate about the Sport's article from The Washington Post.  Oh yeah, thanks.  The fact that me, an overfed, thinhaired leaping gnome.. Just a common man, drive a common van, my dog is a Canardly. Inotherwords.. VERY MUCH a C- (Or M-, 'pendin' where/when you went to school).. ie, your average dumb sport's fan.. and I read things like "desiccated brains of right-wing media personalities"... and "retinal maximalism with a meticulous protagonist"... huh?..  and "perversity of the circumstances"  MAMA! Just killed a man.  Dadgummit, talk to me in touchdowns, Red Zone, yards after catch, Mahome's arm angles, I don't unnerstand all them other angles! Tain't no wunder DC's all screwed up!
Sleep all day, drive all nightBrain my numb, can't stop nowFor sure ain't no doubtKeep an open mind, let it all hang out
Fact is, in life, I don't unnerstand much.  Here's one that kinda shocked me..On the coin toss for overtime:  “I didn’t even realize the playoff rules were different in overtime,” 49ers fullback Kyle Juszczyk said. “So I assumed we just wanted the ball to score a touchdown (for the win), but I guess that’s not the case. I don’t totally know the strategy. … We didn’t talk about it.” Holy guacamole. That, ain't an Andy Reid coached team.
It's rainin' inside a big brown moonHow does that mess you baby up, legEatin' a Reuben sandwich with sauerkrautDon't stop now, baby, let it all hang out
Just a song before I go........ Victor, don't do that.  This friggin' blog is already hard enough to unnerstand. You've already used, hang on, 1... 2....3... 4...5.. (one sec, lemme take my other sock off).. 6, 6 songs.  Not another, please?
Life, sports. People watching, all.  Well, 'ceptin the streaker.. CBS didn't show him.  Networks will give the life history, name, face, address, background, hours and hours of coverage of some dude that walks in, murders children in a school.. but a streaker?  Hell to the no.  I don't get it.  I guess that is the point.
Let it all hang out, not.

OK, I will.  I, Kyle Shanahan, made the wrong choice on the coin toss. Ahm, Victor?  You're Victor, not Mike, er, Kyle, Shanahan.  Oh yeah. So, I, (Victor), made the wrong choice in the blog after the Super Bowl when I wrote something like "When I woke up this morning, you were on my mind".. TOO MANY SONGS VICTOR! I know, but this is important to me.  I conceded to pressure.  I, stupidly, pressure myself to get a goofy blog 'writ, posted.  I do, try, aim to please.  Then, I made the unfortunate decision to include Cowboy Bob's gaff as he left the mike on, signed off "There, that oughta please the little bast'*s.  I shoulda called heads, I mean, played defense first, I mean, shoulda never said it.  Did, can't take it back. Which, I understand is life.  Throw knife into fence, take it out, leaves a mark. Sincere apologies.

If yain't bought candy or flowers for your honey, please do so today (it's February 13 for behoogity sakes).  If yain't gotta girlfriend... ahm, you're asking ME for relationship advice? Shame on you!  

Oops.

Forward by Obb Ynlda (That's Bob Dylan, scrambled up in blue, blowin' in the wind)
Suite provided by Taylor Swift
Apology butchered, concocted from Don't change Dicks in the middle of a screw, Vote for Nixon in '72
NSYNC is between shows on a tour and unavailable.

If you unnerstand this thing called life....... Call or text me............ 816-867-5309

Just checked the local news again.  For 47 minutes now, they've had displayed a teaser about the Ole Miss/MU game, "Saturday at 7:30pm".  Any dumb jock wannabe would know that game was last Saturday.  NSYNC? Whar' are you?  

Love, Victurd

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