In case you ain't kin to Basketball Jones and you no likey March Madness.........

A peach basket, dear friends, you are about to receive.

On Nebraska corn, Pepperdine and the temptations of seeds....

Hold your hat, it's windy...... to the tune of 68 teams, 67 televised games, play-ins, 8/9 games, 12/5 upsets, round of 32, Sweet 16, Elite 8, Final 4, and oh baby, The National Championship Game. MARCH MADNESS.

Victor?  Yes, why are you tapping me on the shoulder?  Because it don't end in March. Yeah?  Yeah... The Final Four is in APRIL.

Victor?  Yes, and quit with the shoulder tap, WHAT?  That's just the men.  Ya gots same, women.

Victor?  Touch my shoulder again and I'm gonna pour this Miller Lite onya.  OK, but... there's also Division II, Division III, oh, men AND women.. . Yeah?  Uh huh.  And don't forget the NIT. I know, men AND women.  Uh huh, and there's another one now.. yeah?  Yeah, The College Basketball Invitational for those Not Invited to the NCAA Tournament that are Not Invited to the Not Invited Tournament. Hold on, I needa swig'a beer.

Excuse me Mr. Dick Vitale shoulder tapping, bracket announcing, Division pointing outing Basketball Junkie.  You done?

Ahm, no.  There's the NAIA. I know, men and women. Uh huh, and TWO divisions. OK. Junior College.  And, ya still gots time to maybe catch a high school game or two.

No. No.  Not just No, but hell's no.

Top however many things to do in March that ain't basketball related:

Sticking to sports.. you could attend the home opener of your last place MLB team, await the first pitch, then drop a big banner down that says "JUST WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!"

Thanks but no thanks, I wanna get the hell away from sports for a short.

Well, you can direct sow peas, spinach, fava beans, and arugula outdoors. Start peppers, tomatoes, eggplant, Swiss chard, and tomatillos indoors.  The hell is arugula and tomatillos?   I dunno, I'm gonna be watching basketball, Google it.

You could fly to Phoenix, drive to Puerta Penasco, Mehico.  Ya sure them spring break whippersnappers are all gone? Yeah, they're headed home to watch basketball.

Howabout, plan for Easter, jump rope, spend a day reading in your pajamas, try a new hairstyle (what if I'm bald?) Rogaine. Buy or make a bird feeder.. Clean out the garage (FINGERNAILS ON CHALKBOARD!)_

Ya still got a lotta month left, ya can still celebrate Common Courtesy Day (the 21st). No elbows on the table, no interrupting, just polite conversation and letting someone else have the last cookie all day long! (Upchuck.) National Chip and Dip Day (23rd), National Spinach Day (26th), Take A Walk In The Park Day (30th) and top it all off with National Crayon Day the 31st. (Oh joy.)

Ya know, THANKS for the suggestions..  that (well, some of it) looks good.  Instead I think I'm gonna kinda stay status quo.. dribble some golf balls outta bounds, 3 putt a bunch, take naps, makes some 73/27 hamburgers (hell, twas on sale at the Piggly), take a drive and see how many potholes I can count, and then.......

Go to the Corner Bar to watch BASKETBALL.

All 67 televised games?  Mebbe.  Are you insinuating sumpin?

When does MU play?  Victor, they didn't make the NCAA Tourney.  Drats! Women? Nope.  NIT? Huh uh, neither. I ain't even gonna ask about the other tourney......  BRB.  Whar ya going?  Rally House.  Yeah?  What for, they ain't got no MU shirts prolly till football season.  I'm gettin me a Bulldog jersey.  Kearney Bulldogs? Nah. Georgetown?  Nope.

SAMFORD!  Go SAMFORD BULLDOGS!

I don't get it.   DUH!  They play KU!

I give up.  Me too, have a great resta March.

Love, Victurd