Friday, April 4, 2025

Doc, it hurts when i do this...

Uh huh, sure... the pat answer is "Don't do that."  Cha ching, total cost to become a medical doctor nowadays in excess of $300,000.

Victor?  Don't say that!  Don't you know all the good doctors do? You don't know why we need them?

Of course I do. Then don't do that.  Don't say that.

Close your ears: I don't really like the word don't. 

Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

Yes, like every other wet behind the ears (we think, anyways, couldn't really see if they were wet) 19, 20-something redblooded dude in the 70's, I had long hair, wore them flared pants, thought I/we, were pretty cool.

May sound like a hippy, don't (there you go again), don't really think I was... .

But...  

The hippies learnt me disdain for the word, command, listen here Mister, (Hitleristic?), DON'T!.

It was them, the damn hippies! They always answered with "Why not?"

As I write this from Apartment #2 in this big ole house converted into 3 tiny apartments...had I been more compliant along the way (I think them hippies mentioned something about a brown nose) I'd prolly be living on Ward Parkway where the lots are bigger'n a football field and you'd need an 8-roll thinga toilet paper just so each bathroom had a roll.

Oh well.

Do not pass go. One Google thing said ya don't use don't in formal writing, you should use Do Not instead. Why not? Nevermind. 

Don't ask. Don't knock it till you tried it. Don't remind me. Don't touch that dial. If you don't mind me asking... (Cheech, or Chong, damn hippies, might say "But I do.")

Rock the boat, oh don't rock the boat (baby). 

Victor, I'm getting a bit dizzy what with all these don'ts. Don't interrupt me.

Don't go chasing waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to
I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all
But I think you're moving too fast.

But I like waterfalls. Don't, er.. try not to lecture me.

Don't bring me down. Don't worry, be happy.

Don't give me that. Don't ask. I don't have all day. Don't you dare.

SIR! Don't do that!  You only get ONE glass for Communion! Hiccup.

Don't play the music SO LOUD!

BITE ME:  Don't go breaking my heart.  Don't stop me now. Don't let me down. Don't stop the music. Don't stop. (That's a song by Fleetwood Mac... hippy might ask "Don't stop WHAT?")

Victor, DON'T tell that one again.

Bite me.

1993-ish. T ball. 7, 8 yr Olds.  I was the head "No, don't do that, your left hand goes on the bottom of the bat, not the right", head coach.

My assistant. Nice dude. Vice President of our local, small, faith based college . Quiet man. He wanted no part of forefront.

His son Buzzy, not so much.  Buzzy was cuter than Mikey Likes It, Theodore Cleaver, Pebbles OR Bam BAM. Big ole brown eyes, smile as wide and perty like an upside down rainbow.

Buzzy was ADHD before they ever abbreviated it to match the attention span.

He was in right centerfield. Well, at least till the next batter, then he was over in leftfield high fiving him. The "I wanna remain inconspicuous" dad, Dan... eeked out "Buzzy, dont do that, get back in right center."

Buzzy, the walking, talking energy drink was oblivious. Next better found him giving a quick spank on the hiney of the first baseman.  Dad Dan upped the 'font size' by one, "Buzzy! Don't!"

Didn't phase ole Buzz. Next three batters found him pulling 3rd baseman Kaylee's hat down over her eyes... doing a Chinese fire drill around the leftcenter fielder, and finally, running to second base only to lay down and cover up the base so the batter-runner couldn't touch it.

Dad Dan, sweating pretty profusely, upped his game...
BUZZY! DON'T!... then, BUZZY! DON'T!.. then finally BUZZY!  DON'T... OR ELSE!

It felt, to Dan, like half our small town was watching. There were a lot of us and we all were on our feet, trying to keep from laughing at Buzzy's antics..  but also on pins and needles awaiting Ole Buzz's response to OR ELSE!

It finally came.  OR ELSE WHAT  DAD?

I peed a bit, but that's normal for me.  Most entertainment I'd ever had at a ballgame.

The roar of 'I can't hold the laughter anymore' covered up Dad's response.

I think... original hippies like Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Cheech, Chong woulda loved that.

Don't you?

Love, Victurd



No comments:

Post a Comment

On a Friday in 1961...

Victor, I think you've told this one before. Give a break, give me a break, break me off a piece...'cause I was 9 then, 64 years ago...