Then and now.......

Romance........  earth shattering, heart palpitating, REAL....  now, not tonight honey, try a Romance Novel and I don't mean that 50 Shade one.

Run........   Go you chicken fat go, 600 yard dash, measured in miles....  now, go lay down fatty, 20 feet dashes to the loo, measured in drips, skid marks, floor cleanups.

Social media...... Sterling 1 to Thornwall 7, "did you hear what those damn kids did?, Sunday School, hallway gathers, Teacher's Lounge, Notes (handwritten)...... Now, any dayum way you can, phone, laptop, X, Insta, FB, Parlor, text

Photos... Damnit, burnt my hand on that cube, HEY WATCHOUT, don't hit the Fotomat Booth, there's a slot just outside the booth, put the quarter in then RUN back inside the curtain as fast as you can..  Now, camera in hand 24/7, video too, iCloud, QR crap.

Disagreement.   Smoke tree, right after school.  DID NOT.  DID TOO. TEACHER! Mom, Joey hit me!  Now, 'click', blocked that idiot.

Dinner...  Family, prayer, perfect portions, getting to know you getting to know all about you........ Now, slit the cover, microwave 3 minutes, stir, replace cover, 1 and 1/2 more minutes, done.  Or, that two inches of Ben & Jerry that's left, in your robe, watching the final 2 episodes on Netflix from the sofa.

First Base...     A baby peck at the Plaza Theater..    Now, where the rich people sit at Royal's Stadium

Second Base... .Not sure what it was at your 'wiffle ball park', but it was the water meter at ours...  now, Stay off my lawn kid.

Third base....  Meatloaf debate on the end of time...  Now, a bar in Cooperstown, NY, "3rd Base, last stop before home."

Home Run.....  Meatloaf confirmation, Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, YOU'RE WHAT?   Now, actual running to the loo from driveway because you were just sure you could make it.

Profanity.......  YOU'RE GROUNDED, bar soap, quarter jar, detention, push ups per Grundy..  Now, deathly loud at stoplights, is there even an FCC now with all the cutbacks? Every third golf shot.

The Price of tea in China....     Schoeller's ad in the Tribune/Shopper...   Now, hang on, lemme get my calculator.

High School.......  Ornate, beautiful and spacious......  Now, Glory, is there even a hill on that sunset?

Kids..... Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey, a kiddley divey too, wouldn't you? Peers. Schools out for the summer.   JFK. Clayview.   Now, (to grandchild) of course you don't have to finish your meat honey, there's butter pecan ice cream  in the freezer.

Christmas    Joy in bringing the six (huge) boxes of decorations down from the attic, putting them up, carols in the background, presents wrapped to perfection, bows, ribbons, et al.  Now, a two foot tree on a stand.. the toy and the jeans, shirt are in that bag from the Dollar (and a quarter) Tree, followed by, even more now, "Here, your gift (cash) is in the envelope.

Motivation......  When I grow up, I wanna be... ACT scores, memeographed resumes, keeping up with the Jones... Run like they left they gate open! Now, hunger/trip to fridge, leave the porch light off, we're eating the candy this Halloween, Coffee/regulation, Age 65, then what?  Who let the dogs out?

Dressing to the nines.....  Church, first day of school, class picture, weddings, funerals, "make sure you have on clean undies in case you're in an accident."    Now, the people of WalMart, Bra? Boxers? I'm sposeta wear undies to the Piggly Wiggly?

Pop up......  Little League, front yard wiffle ball, puberty, sorry, kinda..   Now, aggrevating things when trying to read any dayum link, article on the internet.

Independent study......  Dewey decimal system, card file, Britannica, "sorry, you owe twenty-seven cents, can't check out the book until it's paid.."     Now, can I see your phone a sec?

Old people.......  7th graders.. Seniors, 'he's got his own apartment.'  Now, Hello, I love you won't you tell me your name (again). Twelve people in line at QT, "let's see, I want five scratchers.. ahm, #2... #7..   #12..  #14.. and let's see, hey, what's your lucky number Sonny?"

Goodbye......  Then: Now I lay me down to sleep.. Later gator..  M-I-C, seeya real soon, K-E-Y, why, because we like you, MOUSE,   love you!...       Now, don't let the door hitya...  I've gotta run..  I'm taking the kids, NO, I'M taking the kids.  Take this job and shove it.

THEN.  It really was wonderful.

NOW.  Disconcerting, hard to figure, but, retirement ain't bad.

By Henry Gibson

Love, Victurd