Yes, yes I am, or do. I've noticed, sometimes I actually fall asleep with phone in hand, or, hand on keyboard......... and............ 345rpiodfslgkep4otxxxxjsafpertlakajj happens. You every wake up, see something similar and ask "What in the Wide Wide Worlds of Sports is that?" I once even dialed my eye doctor at 3:17am, sadly.. true.
Welcome to old. I kinda like old.
Oh sure, it'd be nice to have that red and blue outfit, cape of youth.... restore being "able to leap regular stairsteps in a single bound.
Now, I get sleepy around 8 or 9, I go lie down. NO, I ain't talkin' PM, I'm talkin' AM. I remember getting sleepy at work that early- in fact, one day the phone rang - my boss.. "Were you sleeping?" "No." Forgive me Father for I have sinned, I was. "Someone walked by and said you were sleeping."
I am like............ B 4 REAL. Whyintheheck, coworker, just tap me on the shoulder, say, "Hey Vic?" Oh well. I Pinocchio'ed my way thru it.
You are getting impatient...... verrrrrrry impatient.....
Yes, yes I am, or do. Do you ever find yourself mid-post on Facebook... or in the first several minutes of a show after flipping the channel.... on Facebook you read comment after comment after comment, then, finally realize, whatinthehell am i doing here, I'm bored, time is precious, amscray, stage left. Or same, as we attempt to wipe our fingerprints off on the remote control changing stations.
Situations. Arguments. Raised voices. No thank you, I'm old. I quickly realize whatinthehell am i doing here, I'm bothered, time is precious, amscray, stage left. I'm old. I think I'll take a nap, or, listen to Van Morrison...or, watch an hour of Tim Conway on Youtube. It's MY time, I'm old.
But Victor..... you old people...... we watch, listen to.. as you limp, waddle... graduate to them smaller steps... make pirate noises when you get up, or, sitdown, laydown. And then you smile. YOU SMILE. What gives?
Life. Life gives. When we limp, mebbe it's because we survived, passed the test, parking over 18 spots from the front door at Wally... made it in.. back out.. HAHA youngsters, we can do it too... so, we smile.
We go from Big Chief Tablets (that's Big Ole Steps in our younger days) to.. baby, smaller steps, because - mebbe there are lines painted on the floor (ha).. or twigs on the sidewalk.. or, frost/ice as the temps go from forty to thirty something, could be someone just cleaned the kitchen floor - slip and fall could mean a five hunnerd dolla Medicare deductible. Or, two months in Golden Acres. Huh uh. Baby steps. Then, smile once we get wherever.
Why smile Victor? The hell is there to be happy about nowadays?
Well....... lots..... In 'our day', we tuned in, laughed at, Mr. Magoo.. watched Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Green Jeans... Bugs.. Barney and Fred... we had termites.. and they watched Bart and Homer.. Beavis and Butthead... sure, a little looser morally, but hey, it's the turn we, our nation took. Modern day 'little feet' (grandkids) enjoy Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who lives in a pineapple under the sea......Spongebob Squarepants... Minions, Dora.. Bert and Ernie (still).. and that Frozen lady.
What are you saying Victor?
Well....... leather, over time, gets all hardened. Bananas, yuck, ain't long 'fore theyr'e black, limply wimpy... Cars... they might start'ta rattle... the sheen wears off... the tires, here a bump, there a bump, everywhere a bump bump.
THINGS, WE, AGE. Sooooooooooooooooo, do we go hide under the covers? Drown our sorrows? Order another 90 day supply of that feel good medicine? (mebbe!)... but too... we saddle soap our boots, condition 'em... we make banana bread... we get an oil change, alignment, tire rotation, tune up... buff and wax the car's paint surface.
Children learn... they ain't been all hardened, limpy wimpy... aint started rattlin', here a bump there a bump... they laugh... have fun... go, go, go, like 60 (right Bonita?).. or, like a pin pricked balloon, zipping here, zapping there... before finally collapsing from hours of exhilaration.
We old folks do too. No, we no longer move like Arthur Ashe or Billie Jean King usedta, rather, we rock steady (steady rockin' all night long).. lift the front end up so the tennis balls don't get stuck in the crack. We use grab bars, anti-aging crap in jars, we have the Life360 app so our kiddos knows where we ares.....
Like a bridge over a lifetime of troubled water, I will lay me down... take forty winks.. we bide our time, and enjoy it. we guard our cereal so there ain't no one pissin' in our cornflakes. Our shirt may be buttoned one button off.... the zipper like fitty percent down.. a pocket may be hangin' out... we occasionally forget whether it's SMTWTFS, but, tell me how my smile looks eh?
Shortly after that Big Chief, we learnt how ta tell time. We ain't forgot. Now, we ain't talkin' big hand, little hand... AM/PM... digital crap... we're talking Golden time. We hurry up and waited for this fo'ever and 'eer.
We done took that job and shoved it..... OH.. HELLO BANK BALANCE THE THIRD WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH.. THANKS!
Daytime, nighttime, bedtime, anytime, everytime, presenttime, timeofday... all the dayum... any dayum.. .whateva' time it is.....we're happy to be here... so... we smile, enjoy.. use our flyswatter on yucky stuff. Six comments in a on a Facebook post and uh oh, up pops 'ugly'.. nope, nada... I, we, ain't got time for a bad day. Hasta la vista baby. Are you coming with me Snagglepuss?
I gotta go...... I may..... go lay on the floor and play a Roblox board game with youngin's.. or, mebbe learn 'em paper, rock, scissors... watch the pineapple under the sea show and xplain Lucy to the grands how Patrick can be so happy when he ain't got no hands or toes..... or perhaps... go to Wally and do like I usually do... all around the store until I finally see someone older'n me. "Excuse me ma'am, what year did you graduate?!!"
Might take a drive to nowhere.. find a fun meme to send to the regular golf foursome. Use my Mickey D app for a buy one get one breakfast sandwich. (It's what we old people do... thrift... pinch)..
When the goin' gets rough........ take a nap. See if you can fart on purpose. Make fun 'teenage' faces in the mirror.. watch Vanna turn letters..... write a buddy a letter... Youtube me some Ray Charles.....
I'm serious....... we can't be so serious...... I'm positive, I think.
Enjoy your time...... I planta.....
Love, Victurd
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