A preachment, dear friends, you are about to receive on John Barleycorn, nicotine, and the temptations of Eve.....
Or, what I think mebbe (strictly MY opine) oughta call this, 2025, the Year of The Fingernails on the Chalkboard. Calm down Schwabby, I don't mean no Rock Chalk stuff... I mean every day, aye yai yai... or, better said perhaps, in honor of Bruce, Yippie Ki-Yay, and, what follows.
So....... turn the channel. Change the news source. DO NOT STARE AT BEEF PRICES AT THE PIGGLY. Roll your winder's up at intersections so as NOT to hear the booming F-bomb goodies of the neighboring car. Ask not, what your Country can do to aggravate you, ask, what you can do to briefly change, keep things lighthearted.
They are calling him, Legend Dairy. Ain't nobody really knew who he was, but, hikers, climbers in Colorado were surprised when they reached the summit of Huron Peak, a mountain of 14,000 foot elevation - only to find a dude dressed in an ice cream cone outfit, sunglasses, fake mustache, seated in a camping chair, a cold beer nestled in the arm rest - handing out ice cream bars to those who'd made it. Back pack w/dry ice by his side, once all the ice cream was gone, Legend Dairy made his way back down the Mount.
"Ring... Ring"... that's the phone at Edmond Lighthall's residence in Chicago, Illinois. "Hello?"... Mr. Lighthall, this is the Hammond, Louisiana Animal Control Office... our Police Department found this Poodle Doodle mix walking down the road - brought him in, we checked with the microchip folks, and we believe it to be your hound, Peter." NUH UH! We lost him TEN YEARS AGO! You sure? Next day, Lightfoot hopped in his truck, drove 45 miles to Hammond, and yep, there to meet him, Peter! "I felt like he recognized me right away! He did his little greeting, spun around, then laid down right infronta me! It's him!"
Welcome home party that weekend at Dog Park in Chicago - Lighthall figures Pete to be 14 or 15, "he's slowed down a little, but he still has his bursts of puppy energy!"
Jerry... the Jerry that owns the NFL Dallas Cowboys has been fined $250,000 by the NFL for making an obscene gesture at fans Sunday in the NY Jets stadium. Viral video showed Jerry with his middle finger up. VICTOR?? That a typo? $250,000? Nope, not a typo. Jerry? Your turn in Court:I
"That was inadvertent on my part. We'd just scored a touchdown and we were all excited about it. There wasn't any antagonistic show or anything, I just put up the wrong show on the hand. That was inadvertently done, I'm not kidding. If you want to call it accidental, call it accidental, but it got straightened around pretty quick.. I had a chance to look at it, and the intention was "thumbs up" and I was pointing at our fans everyone was excited. Siskel? Ebert? TWO THUMBS UP, or, Rotten Tomatoes? Your call.
Vely interesting. The Star had an article about sudden blunders. Mentioned a US athlete, in a recent long distance race, was set to take third place inches from the finish line after Ethiopia and Kenya had just crossed... Said US runner slowed her pace to a jog moments before crossing, threw her arms up victoriously, and, was passed by fellow US runner, thus, took fourth place, no medal, instead. TBC
They mentioned the above because it was similar to the inexplicable fumble by Arizona Cardinal receiver Emari Demercado. He was enroute to a 72 yard touchdown, when, after 71 and 15/16 yards, he released the football to the ground, thinking too he'd made it. In these days of analyze, over analyze and and 'lyze' s'more - the writer of the article set out to interview a "Brain Fart Scientist" to get at "the why." Victor? Brain Fart Scienist? HIS WORDS, not mine.
I read what the writer said the BF Scientest said, and I ain't real smart, still don't understand, but, something about multitasking deficit. (Now THAT, sounds like me).. Something about 'top down' effort, ie, to run the ball into the end zone, and then, 'bottom up' reaction, yippee, I see the end zone - or, like that runner raising her arms, slowing down, or, the ball carrier dropping the football. Clear as mud to me. Siskel? Ebert?
And finally (you're welcome) from the 'sure he did' department... a feller in Cranford, New Jersey, named Will Thilly, on the docket to run for the Cranford Township Committee, attended a meeting to ask questions about a recent property tax hike... when called upon, Thilly, without saying a word, got up, performed a wordless robotic dance, without music, spun on the floor, finally made it to the podium, asked, "How was everyone's weekend?" Asked a few more questions about taxes and school expenses, gathered his paperwork, then moonwalked back to his seat in the audience. He's got my vote, I hate mundane.
Now....... brief coverage of fatal car wrecks, shootings, protests, ICE, National Guard, Congressional interviews, Rose Garden briefings, midterm elections, yada. NO ONE SAID "SIMON SAYS" so bug off, we ain't doin' all that.
In ending, my friend Vicky wtote (of our beloved Chiefs, sorry outta towners) "WIN, LOSE OR TIE, I'M A CHIEFS FAN UNTIL I DIE!"
Ha, me too, and you nonbelievers thought we were ready to throw 'em to the Lions or sumpin.
Oops, wait a sec.
Love, Victurd
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