Bueller?.... Bueller?... Ferris Bueller?....

The facts are in......... We're old as hell... but, we like to think... our brains are young... 

I'm bored.   Victor, like, that doesn't do anything for me.

Ahm, OK.  Am I supposed to stop?  Like, you know that'll happen.  I did the Bueller thing because I happen to think the monotone voice of Ben Stein serves as the universal definition of boring.  Who knew he had money?

I've spent hours, days, weeks, MONTHS.. (OK, thirty minutes or so) Googling "Things to do when one is bored."  Ben fits because he's old, yet, it involves youth, and in spitea borned long ago, again, we are that, at least, in our imagination.

One guy said he super glued quarters to the sidewalk, then hid and watched.

Gladys Kravats sister posted a sign in her yard "Attention Dog Walkers!.. This lawn has been treated with Dihydrogen Oxide" which, is the chemical name for water.

I like "Senior Prank Ideas" because it includes both 'Senior' and yourthfulness... Right up our alley. (Don't tell no kids what an alley is.)

One class principal said 3 rules.. Don't break anything.. Don't break anyone.. The mess you make, you clean up......

So, they plastic wrapped the teachers cars... filled a teacher's room with balloons.. hid rubber duckies allover school...  We borrowed three pigs from a classmate whose family owned a farm.  We painted the numbers 1, 2 and 4 on the side of them, then, released them in the hall just before school started.  Teachers spent the entire day looking for Pig #3.

Why, right here in River City (Liberty, MO) the Seniors hired a Mariachi Band to follow the Principal wherever he went, playing La Bamba to and fro.

We brought a camel in on Wednesday, Hump Day.....   Our entire Senior Class slept on the Principal's front lawn...   

With permission granted by the Superintendent... the entire Senior Class went to school at the Rival's school and vice versa. One'a the teachers walked in first hour... saw 30 kids she'd never seen before... went along with it... started calling them the names she thought they looked like.  Second hour, new group, followed by a Local TV station camera man, reporter.

Don't know much about History.......  Senior History class... the teacher got called out of class temporarily.... upon his return, there were 30 second graders in the Senior's chairs.....

Two dozen seniors in the high school parking lot at 6am, drinking from a keg of ROOT BEER they'd arranged to get from the local liquor store.  Cops were called, funny haha.

The Sigma Nu's we like to live......... is the start of a song I'm very fond of. Oh the mems.  Some prank 'highlights'?

Shave the left eyebrow of a brother off as he slept. Pour a bag of powdered sugar ontoppa said brother when he's asleep. Body heat will have it melt and he covered in goo in no time.

Set the alarm clock to 9pm when he's asleep at midnight.  When it goes off at '6am' for his first class... he'll realize after his shower, on his way to the car it's still dark, and it's also only 3:20am.

Before you shave the eyebrow, pour the powdered sugar, set the alarm clock..  replace all the shampoo in his bottle with maple syrup.  Brothers, in Sigma Nu united... 

"Boredom always preceeds a period of great creativity."  Robert M. Pirsig

I dunno Bob, I found at least some'a these boredom ideas as pretty creative.

Yawn time is Hawn time.......... yes Pup, I remember.

Love, Victurd

It's been reel and it's been fun.... but, has it been reel fun?

Victor, your spelling is atrocious.  Au contraire turkey breath... spelled exactly as I intended.

Hi, my name is Victor, and I tell stories.  Badly, usually, but, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to... NO, that ain't it.. hang on...  It's my blog and I'll write if I want to.  Or, nanny nanny boo boo, see if you can stop me!

Being a geezer, one of the things I like to do is ask fellow geezers "what do you do with all your time?"  One buddy... he's busy... He's single, gotta new house and all, or most all, of his time is spent spiffing it up. Washing windows, planting trees, touching up paint on the garage door, cleaning, cleaning and s'more cleaning, and then, paying a gal on toppa all that to clean s'more.  All well and good, and while I ain't a fan of tea, still, it ain't my cup of tea - but, that's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it. Uniqueness.

Nuther friend "Well, we go to Mehico for about half the year... kinda run from the temps of November thru March... then, come 'home' (KC) and catch up with loved ones, friends, etc."  Perfect, but, he's got a better half, I ain't, so.. whilst I'd enjoy the warm temps, I ain't tempted to do same.

Yet another geezer informed me, "Well... (any time we hear that on the golf course one'a my buddies says "that's a deep subject").. well, I watch and read a lot of reels." If you haven't paid reel close attention - reels are kinda short, mostly 'Hallmark-like', feel good stories on Facebook - but, sometimes they throw a whopper in there and someone has done something to offend another.. mebbe something illegal to another... the lure is cast out into the water... then, 
"click the first comment to see the rest of the story."

I will admit, they are usually very good, often feel good stories of wonderful people... I completely understand why my buddy wastes his life (JUST KIDDING)... I completely understand the interest in reading them.  Yain't gotta go to the library, you ain't gotta have a bookmark, you can flip the pork chops, let the hound out, and not miss a lick.

It led me to why I am here today. (Uh oh)  Yeah, I know.  No, I too, believe it or not, have those silky, sappy feel good stories somewhere buried in this blog too!  While it's been awhile, I'd like to share one I kinda remember:

Internet dating. (This is a story from long, long ago). Internet dating, online dating, whadever you call it, is, can be, frustrating, rewarding, heartthrobbing, not, are-you-kidding me them pics are 20 yrs old.. them kinda moments.  occasionally, good slips in........... one such........

I'd been on waaaaaaaaaay too many online dates. It actually kinda reminded me of going to Piggly Wiggly, and the bananas they had out looked all squishy, blackspots, that stuff (AND YES, I realize, "Me too".)

I dated some older, some my age, some younger, and one way too young for me.  HOW MUCH YOUNGER VICTOR?  I ain't going there - but what I can tell you is I was impressed with her.  After them dates of old, same, younger, too young - all along the way I eventually asked "What are you looking for?"

Young gal's story was reel impressive.  

"Well... I'm an ER nurse... for a long, long time, I'd seen this couple around town... an older couple... cute as could be.. I saw them at the grocery store, he pushing the cart, holding the list - she filling the cart.. him opening the car door for her, placing the groceries in the trunk.

I saw them at the park, on a bench, holding hands, watching the birds, the kids, the dogs, life - as it goes by.  I caught their car outside the fence at the High School football game - and I'd wondered if they were remembering long ago. I too wondered, did he steal a smooch from her?

Then, one night, as they unloaded the ambulance at work - I recognized the guy on the stretcher as the older gent of the couple I'd seen about town time and time again.  He'd had a heart attack - of course she was there too.. holding his hand... calming him... she eventually went to the waiting room while we ran some tests...

We actually 'lost him'...  revived him... twice...  then three times...  After each and every time, the Doctor went to the Waiting room to keep the little old lady abreast of the situation.  She gathered his words, nodded understandably, without saying a word - and he came back in the ER.  Thankfully, each time we were able to bring him back.

Sadly, on the Doctor's fourth trip to the waiting room, he had to share that we'd lost him.  Calmly, and without saying a word, she rose.. and walked into where he was.  She pulled back the sheet we'd placed over him. Leaned, gave him a kiss on the cheek, placed the sheet back - and walked out.

"That" (my too young for me date said).. That is what I want."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Holy shit she wants me dead. I'M OUTTA HERE!

Have a reel fine day,

Love, Victurd

Bin there, trying to do that......

Trash.....

And, I don't mean, in define of a human being.  I am way, way, way far from the end of the spectrum of perfection - but when someone is labeled, defined as 'trash', it's insulting, derogatory and dehumanizing.

I'm reminded of the story of the day the new Pastor was to be introduced.  He came to the service disheveled, tattered clothing, appearing to need a good bath, that.  Of course, sadly, he was scrutinized, avoided, and most certainly judged.  And of course all were shocked when he ultimately made it to the altar. Message taken though.

Here, I'm attempting to correlate LIFE, as it relates to the BINS we set on the curb weekly. There is the real trash, the all BLUE BIN.  Scraps, leftovers, Styro, Diapers, Litter box 'goodies', plastic bags, things broken, holy clothes, vacuum bags, yada, yada, much. Stuff that, after awhile, PEW.

In the udder... in our fine town,  BLUE BIN, YELLOW LID....... stuff that can be recycled, saved, used again and again.  Cardboard. Glass. Scrap metal. Plastic bottles, containers. Phone books. Aluminum.  File folders, paper, etc. Happy scrappy, so to speak.

And then, some communities, they giveya (actually sellya) PAPER BAGS for leaves, grass, that stuff.

I know I'm weird, and, I guess I'd like to think I can't help it, but, I liken our trash system to life in general.

BLUE BINS.  Trash. Ugly thoughts, bad memories, people that fail you, times when maybe you or I failed people.. Crass, heartlessness, looking out for ONLY #1, git ridda all that crap.  Weekly, mebbe even fill the 'bin', daily.  Namecalling, mudslinging. We all, I think, look at things differently. What might be trash, something not enjoyable - may not bug another. Life, stuff within, is discretionary.

BLUE BIN, YELLOW LID.  Recyclables. Things we like.  Good memories.  Stuff ya wanna do, remember, again and again, forever and ever.  The note from granny.  Mems of grandpa on the porch listening to baseball on his transistor.  Mom, as she held you while you coughed, she, holding her breath until she made sure you had yours.  A loving pat on the head from Pops at the proper age. The BFF hug.  The excited, wide eyes of the toddler, no matta' the color.

We are seemingly creatures of habit. You mean like nuns Victor?  No, er, I mean yes, kinda sorta I guess.  SOME of the time, we don't 'take out', 'git ridda' the trash in our lives and it festers.  Grows.  The stench worsens, can even make us unhealthy. It's as if we carry that bag (stuff) we should toss, it gets heavy, it's harder to walk, it stinks, our feet hurt, we get headaches, we can't sleep.  It simply ain't healthy. 

There are huge differences in "I ain't gonna let this bug me, flushing it right now", and, "That lady (man, job, traffic light, school, store, whadever) drives me nuts, every day.."  We don't purposely save it, yet we do, and we allow it to get the best of us over and over and over again. Just ask the Dave Clark Five.  Kidding.  We can, occasionally, or sometimes even more frequently, some maybe even always, cannot escape bad thoughts. Ultimately, we live there. Maybe living a life of "Ain't it awful."

BLUE BIN, YELLOW LID.... I've seen you wonderful people out there.  Neat, things are in order.  Whether they are out and about, on the phone, at work, wherever, they've already sorted crap from 'use again/like', and accordingling, smile happens  They compliment.  They get complimented.  The trash is gone, they're good, good. Thank you thank you, mind if we hop along for that magic carpet ride?

Victor, I guess I kinda get it but you ain't said nothing about the BROWN PAPER BAG, you know, for leaves, grass, twigs......  Right you are, and usually, there's even a small fee for the right to do so..... set those bags out.  I look at these bags as, personal, and maybe some would call it selfish.  I prefer to think of it for those days when you simply wanna say, LEAF ME ALONE JUST FOR ONE DAY PLEASE.. scram, exit, stage left, don't let the bag hitya in the booty.  Tooty fruity, oh Rudy.

Victor, you're weird.  Uh huh, I admitted to so.  I admit to being a lifetime work in progress in knowing what to let go and what to keep.  From the dugout... sitting around a table with loved ones or friends or others...  we pay attention to how those folks keep trash longer than needed, or, if they've got a handle on what to toss, let go of, and keep.  Then, we try to emulate them.

Bins there, trying to do that.

Sorry this didn't have humor... musical lyrics within...  feel free to toss it in the blue bin.

Love, Victurd

Mama don't let your babies grow up to play trivia......

Hi... or, I guess Howdy may be more appropos... 

I was born on October 13, 1942, exactly ten years before some idiotic blogger from Missouri.  More about Missouri in a sec, but, I was borned in LA. My Pops was pretty smart, figuring people kinda liked to eat, so he/we owned an independent grocery store.

Didn't stay long in LA (3 yrs) then, mom, dad, fetched us up and moved to North Little Rock, Arkansas.  Pops, my dad Pat, then opened up TWO grocery stores in AR, Pat's Super Markets.  

I liked me some sports, and, I played running back for North Little Rock High School, graduating in 1960.  Mom, dad, bootscooted to Missouri (See, toldya).. and by this time, all them meat and veggies sales enabled Pops to form, and be chairman of Modern Security Life Insurance Company.  I guess he did perty good. The first year, company was worth $440K... by year four it'd grown to $6.2 Million.  Beats sellin' beets and beef.

I, however, liked Arkansas, so I stayed there.  Arkansas Arkansas, I just love ole Arkansas.  The University of Arkansas to be exact. I guess, thanks to a heapin' helpin' of meat and taters from Pat's Markets, I'd grown a tad. Once a running back, now I was an offensive lineman.  

You mighta heard some of these names... Frank Broyles was our head coach... We had the Outland Trophy winner Lloyd Phillips, and College Football Hall'a Famer, linebacker Ronnie Caveness.

I wasn't done namin' names, new paragraph.  Thanks for your patience.  One'a my teammates was a feller named Jimmy Johnson, oh, and we had some nifty dudes on the Coaching staff...  Hayden Fry. Johnny Majors, and another guy named Switzer, Barry I think his first name was.

Not too brag (I try not to do that more than once a day) but I was co-captain in 1964 and all of us won the National Championship, outpacing some names you mighta heard of, Joe Willie Namath, Gale Sayers, Freddie Biletnikoff and John Huarte and his Heisman'ness.

Football done, now what?  Well, I borrowed a fast Million from Jimmy Hoffa's Teamster Union, moved to Missouri, and started me a chain with a mess of Shakey's Pizza Parlors. After awhile, I made a phone call, "Dad, this ain't workin', can you get me a job?"

Did, in Modern Security Life in Springfield, MO.  Bored, I tried to see if Jimmy could get me a little more Teamster dough and I's gonna ask to see if I could buy the San Diego Chargers of the AFL.  Nope, didn't work, never did.

Back to Arkansas... Arkansas Arkansas, I just love ole Arkansas. Folks hadta eat, so the grocery store idea worked (never mind the Pizza)... People die, so, life insurance did too.  People have to drive to get somewhere, so I started me an oil and gas exploration business, Jones Oil and Land Lease, to be exact.  Oops, sorry, slipped.

Also, the success of the insurance company allowed us (daddy Pat, mom, me) buy the 5,500 acre Buena Vista Ranch in Rogersville, Missouri. We carved out 400 acres of that ranch and opened a place where tourists could visit exotic animals - it's now known as Wild Animal Safari.

This is getting long Victor, speed it up.  OK, will.

Much more happened. Bought the Dallas Cowboys.  Got ridda Tom Landry, that tweren't popular.  Hired my old teammate Jimmy Johnson. First season we finished 1-15. Them Cowboy fans was squintin' one eye and lookin' at us with their head tilted from the other.

Tweren't long, we had one'a the best franchises in the NFL (I kinda like calling the Cowboys "America's Team")... Super Bowl Champs three times in four 'years ('92, '93, '95).

Today, ifn's you compared me to the Kansas City Chiefs, "I am the Clark Hunt and the Brett Veach, and I guess I can pry a bit and try to play Andy Reid and Matt Nagy too."

Who am I?

Orville Footstink, of course.

JK.  Jerral (Jerry) Wayne Jones Sr.

Knock knock.  Who's there?  Inquiring minds.  Inquiring minds who?  Who, wanna know Jerry Jones' present net worth, ain'tya gonna tell us (and did he pay the Teamsters back the cool Mil?)..  I dunno his net worth. OK dangit, $17 BILLION.  And I know nothing about the Teamsters.

Go Chiefs, love, Victurd

Stiff arms... hugs... backpats.... and swipes...

Wanna be........

I think....  too much..

People.........  Nope, this ain't the Streisand song..  Bits and pieces of, mebbe, but not why we're here. OK, fair enough, ain't why I'm here. And it aint "Glad All Over" (Bits and pieces, Dave Clark Five.)

(BORING VICTOR, THIS NEXT PART)..  Sorry.. Kinda. I think, in life, we all have 'wanna be' stuff.. "When I grow up I wanna....."   "I plan to......"

My life, to date anyways... has consisted of the "wanna be's" of:  Sportswriter.. Major League Pitcher, First Baseman, ANYTHING Baseball...  Pete Maravich clone.. Husband, to damn near fitty women a day that I see, fall for. and it's just something about their eyes, their smile, voice, 'look', their 'tude', and please don't shoot me, yes, their physique.

S'more:  Teacher, Coach, entrepreneur, Social Worker, Psychologist...

So, end game, I became an Overthinker.  A Bachelor of heArts in people watching.

OK Victor, but what's all that crap up there about ""Stiff arms... hugs...  backpats....  and swipes...?"  Calm down Daniel-son, we'll get there, but I hearya, I know I'm a impatient person as well. Go wash the car, then, wax on, wax off.

PEOPLE WATCHING.........  The King and I had that awesome song where the teach stood infronta the class.... said/sang "Getting to know you.. getting to know all about you."  Kinda The Cliff Notes version of people watching, "figurin' 'em out."

And then there was Kenny, yep, as in Rogers.  He was on a train bound for nowhere, met up with a gambler.. both starin' out the window, bored, too tired to sleep... so Kenny gathered up a lifetime of people watching and advised the gambler:

"Son, I've made a life, out of readin' people's faces
And knowin' what their cards were by the way they held their eyes
So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice"

And... as the ever-present noise and clatter of the choo choo choo'ed, he offered the advice MUCH AKIN to that of people watching.. "You got to know when to hold 'em....  know when to fold 'em.. know when to walk away.. .know when to run."

OK VICTOR, but we're getting a TAD impatient about "Stiff arms... hugs...  backpats....  and swipes..."????????

Just that  JUST WHAT?  That. "When to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, when to walk away, know when to run."

????????????????????????

OK  (Alvin).......

Just shoot me.  We ALL judge.  People watching can, does sometimes, lead to friendship, perhaps work relationship, anything in life where two are placed together. Ifn's ya say ya don't, bosh.. we all do, I think anyways.

Stiff arms.  That's whenya first meet someone, and, ya kinda keep 'em at arm's length, at least for the time being.  It mebbe keeps you from getting heart hurt.

Hugs. The obvious.  It's those you let in, WANT in, your life.  Family, friends, could be customers, coworkers, vendors... you know the kind..  they make life BETTER, so hug 'em, don't let 'em wander away!

Backpats...  that's "nice job"... or, mebbe someone that's down a tad inspitea their best effort.. could be a loss involved... simply passing on love to them.

Swipes.   Sorry, but that's when you make the motion with your hand, under your chin, back and forth, saying (without so) Nope, nada, huh uh, no friggin way...Danger danger Wll; Robinson..  Go away little boy (or girl).  It (getting closer in life) simply ain't worth the stress.  Life, can be, like the careful pooper scooper at the end of a parade, ie, watch you/our step.

Thanks for reading.  I feel better.  Getting to know you, getting to know all about you - ROCKS.

Peace out.

Love, Victurd

Updated lyrics.......

You're sixteen......

First off, shame on you Ringo.  Sang in 1973, you were 33.  16?  Anyway, here goes.....

You come on like a dream,

Wrinkled peaches, no cream,

Lips that've buried some wine,

You're sixty-eight, you're beautiful

And your mine....  (Now that you're 85, that works Ringo)

-------------------

Fitty ways........

"The problem is all inside your head," she said to me

"The answer is easy if you take it logically"

Ya just hop on an Uber, Goober.. 

Drop off the fob, Bob

You just listen to me.. 

Make a new Instagram Sam

Just plug in your Tes, Les...

Don a wig, go in, and sit when you pee, Lee....

And get yourself free

--------------------

I love rock and roll, get your MasterCard for the juke box baby......

--------------------

I want one bourbon, one shot and one beer...  That'll be $63.42 Mr. Thorogood.....

--------------------

Since I got older, and I lost my hair

Many years ago.. 

Can you still send me a Valentine, a Birthday Greeting, Pedialyte time?

If I stay up until quarter till ten, would you lock the bedroom door?

Will you still knead me, will you still feed me, now that I'm eighty-four

--------------------

They say we're old and we don't know,

We won't find out until we go..

Well I don't know if all that's true

Cause you got me and baby I got you.....

They say our SS won't pay the rent, 

Before the third Wednesday, the money's all been spent,

I guess that's so we don't have a pot

But at least I'm sure of all the things we've got...

I got flowers in the spring,

Due to arthritis, you still wear my ring

And if I get scared, you're always around,

So let them say, you're hair's too grey

Cause I don't care, since mine's gone away......

With our two walkers and four tennis balls, 

there ain't no hill  or mountain we can't climb..

Babe,

I got you babe (if you fall). 

You got me babe (if I fall)

--------------------

Littie ditty 'bout Jack and Diane

Two American geezers, grown up in the heartland,

Jackie usedta be a football star

Leather helmets, now he ain't very smart

Suckin' on a chili dog

Outside the Tastee Freez

So much easier whenya ain't go not teeth...

Jackie said "Hey Diane, let's run off behind a shady tree... 

Dribble off those Alfred Dunner elastic waste band slacks and let me do what I please.." Diane said "Now Jackie that's a pill and an hour, we pickup our grandkid in thirty minutes - we ain't got the time or the chutzpah"

Say uh, oh yeah, life goes on ..

Long after the thrill of livin' is gone..

Say oh yeah, life goes on,

Long after the thrill of livin' is gone, 

They walk(er) on....

A little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane.. 

Two American geezers doin' the best they can

-------------------

Well crap, it sounded like a good idea anyways.....

It is the evening of the day.......

This here is a re-write.  Nowadays, hells bells, ya never know.  Could be AI.  Could be completely fictional. Could be 'bleat'... Huh?  Yeah, just written to git ur dayum goat.  I say I say, it's a re-write, which of course, means I stole it, added some, subtracted a lot, just rearranged it a tad. OK, fine, call it plagiarism if  ya want.  Ya seen the car I drive?  I love my car, it just happens to be a 2002 Buick Century, this, or, that is, I hopes that shows I ain't getting rich here.  Gracias.

1965.  Manager Andrew Oldham locked Mick Jagger and Keith Richards in the kitchen of their Wilesden flat. (For you bloody 'mericans, that is an apartment), told 'em to write. "Not another blues song, not a copy of a favorite, something new."

Money.  All about money.  Ain't everything? (Almost).  The Stones were the equivalent of the #3 hitter in the batting line up..  Oh, great contact, important, smack the ball with frequency - but, the cleanup hitter, the one everyone revered, bowed to, was clearly The Beatles.

The Beatles had a tad of everything.  Influence, cultural phenomenon, new/changed popular music - AND, they wrote their own $tuff.  Oldham (pay attention here, he's the Stones manager) recognized, the Beatles not only got buckaroos for good tunes played, they capitalized on the publishing royalties songwriters receive.  So...

He locked 'em in that flat. "Write" he'd said... and, "ya ain't gettin' outta this flat until you've written a song, again, no blues, no copies." That was a foreign language for Mick, Keith.  Keith reacted with "Write?  Who do you think I am, Mr. Bigstuff?"... no, hold on damnit, that wasn't it.  "Write?  Who do you think I am? John Lennon? That's somebody else's job, my job is to play the guitar."

So............. years, and years later, with complaints from neighbors about the stinch, authorities busted down the door, found Mick stiff, flat on the ground next to torn up 8 and a half by 11's (he'd expired after many attempts to write, never could Get No Satisfaction). Meanwhile, Keith was fine, now 107 years old.

OK, sorry.  Funnin.  I can't sing and I can't write, but is it OK to fun?

They finally emerged with the lyrics to the song "As Tears Go By".  Keith wasn't a fan, called it 'tripe'.  Sir Mick said "It's a very melancholy song for a 21-year old to write. The evening of the day, watching children play - it's very dumb and naive, but it's got a very sad sort of thing about it, almost like an older person might write."

It is the evening of the day
I sit and watch the children play
Smiling faces I can see
But not for me
I sit and watch
As tears go by

Boy howdy Mick, I so agree.  No, not with the 'very dumb and naive', but about the 'as if an old person wrote it.'  I don't speak for everyone (but, if I did, 47'd be gone, SORRY, kinda, not).. I don't speak for all old farts, but i think the majority of us, the lyrics are assuredly timely today.

My riches can't buy everything
I want to hear the children sing
All I hear is the sound
Of rain falling on the ground
I sit and watch
As tears go by

Life's kinda an oxymoron ain't it?  Awfully good...  bittersweet..  definite maybe..  eloquent silence... festive tranquility... icy hot...  loud whisper... melancholy merriment.. sad smile...

It is the evening of the day
I sit and watch the children play
Smiling faces I can see
But not for me
I sit and watch
As tears go by

ANY age is a good age, but... I get it.  Happy sad.  We see a reflection of our life in children... Victor, that was deep. I know, sometimes I get sappy. Sorry, slipped.  Life today finds us without handsprings, cartwheels and do-overs - yet, surrounded by a richness of memory, more happy than stressy moments.. still, occasionally tears go by.

Victor, "Big Boys don't cry".  NO dangit, Frankie Valli said "Big GIRLS, they don't cry."  Song for another day.  I ain't afeared to admit, I occasionallly tear up.  Some happy, some sad.  We're mid drought, so whichever, helps.

There is perhaps a touch of irony it was decided "As Tears Go By" would go on the B-side of a 45.  The other side?

19th Nervous Breakdown.

Long(er) live Keith... Mick too.

Love, Victurd

(If ya wanna go back in time, call Doc Brown. No, whoops, sorry. Copy, paste the below to see the youngster Mick, 21 I believe, and Keith, 57 I think he was.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37_J7zpD2ks

151, but who's counting........

Or, stealing lyrics from Frank....... "When I was 72, it was a very good year."

The 151 is the number of blogs this year...   Victor, it ain't the end of the year?  I know, but, I don't ordinarily do things ordinarily.

I was gonna recap all the stupid lyrics I speeled, the 'meat' of some blogs, highlights, lowlights, but hells bells... pretty sure you were bored the first time, why suffer again?

Among the clutter, bucket lists I ain't completed, filed (a nice term for found laying around) amid the grocery lists I forgot to take to the Piggly.

I looked up all the emotions normal people experience, in a year's time, Googled it, AI that is, whadever ya wanna call research nowadays, and I learn:  joy, happiness, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, disgust.  Then, AI or Google or whadever, suggested we also have "Complex and varied emotions" like:

Love and affection, anxiety and stress, hope and optimism, loneliness, contentment and peace, boredom, pride, shame and guilt, jealousy/envy, awe and wonder, frustration, empathy and compassion.  That stuff.

I'm finding, maybe you is too...... life is interesting.  It ain't no sprint.  Nope.  It's not a lap around the track, huh uh.  It's a a GD (calm down, that means GOSH DARN) steeplechase (you know, obstacles)... or, a barrel race, and, before ya run off, it too is, can be, a wonderful lazy river.

It ain't no controlled chamber where the temp, wind, etc, stays the same 24/7, 365.. unless that is, ya live in San Diego like Moffitt... hell they never vary ten degrees from 70.  I hate 'em.  Well, no, I don't.  Scroll up there somewheres they talk about jealousy/envy.

We like differn't numbers... of course there's 2... young punks like 6 and 7, why, no idea... folks either love/worship 47, or, turn the channel as soon as they see 47. It is said One is the loneliest.. prolly true (Liz suggested I get a cat, good idea too).

There's people we don't like...... people we'd liketa like (ok damnit, you asked, [didn't you?] Sara Haines, Lara Spencer and the local morning news lady on ABC, weather lady tain't bad neither.  And now, the people I don't like VICTOR! STOP!  You?

Sadly, "How bout those Chiefs" is no longer a good way to break up a Political conversation.  Ifn's ya get sideways with Aunt Ethel or Uncle Chariie at the Thanksgiving table, come see me at the golf course, I getta work.  (Yes, I meant 'getta'.)

Most importantly, we're still alive, although be it in varying forms, degrees.  Sadly, yes, loss has happened in many of our lives.  Goes to show, enjoy every moment, of course we never know.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow.  Don't stop believin'. Stop in the name of love, no, that one ain't right... Stop Stop Stop by the Hollies, or, Alto Alto Alto ifn's you're in Mehico, them basta's'll getya if ya dont.  I can't stop loving you (them three or four up there, I know, I'm an idiot, but, did you just like realize that?) 

Who'll stop the rain (quit complaining, we're damn near drought conditions, we need it), 

Thus far, thankfully, life here ain't stopped.  We might as well try to enjoy it eh?

Thank you, love you, stop by any time.  (Hell to the no, not my apartment, I'd need a month's notice... I'd take a picture so you could understand.. just trust me.)

Someone AI me a girlfriend, I didn't have that "love and affection" they referred to.  VICTOR?  They always run off.  Yeah, good point, nevermind.

Strangely, the first blog of the year was all about "Abby Normal."  Weird how, the more things change the more they stay the same.  Meet me at midnight, Mary, and don't let anyone know.

Seeya soon,

Love, Victurd

Great beans Aunt Bee!

Who said that?  Barn?  Ope? Floyd? Gomer?  Goober? Thelma Lou?  Helen?  Otis?  Ernest T? -> Close.

Well they came from Missouri with a banjo on their knee.  Or, banjos I guess.

Darlings they were.......... kinda.

If you remember mosta those names, congratulations, you're either real old, or a MeTV addict.

Early 1960's the heyday of Andy, Ope and Barn. and that aint Whistlin' Dixie (the whistle theme was actually called "The Fishin' Hole.")

The Darlings were a fictitious musically inclined group of Hillbillies that lived in a shack, somewhere near neighboring Mayberry.  Appeared in, I think, 8 episodes of "Andy"... Of course they were real people, composed of Briscoe, the Pops, "Briscoe Darling, tiller of soil, feller of trees" as he liked to call himself.

Daughter Charlene...  Wiki say "an attractive but naïve young, blonde woman who often causes trouble for Sheriff Taylor and his family with her flirtatious behavior and her belief in mountain lore. She is also the original object of desire for Ernest T. Bass."

Then there was the boys.... The Darlings.  Four of 'em.  They almost never spoke, and, their names were contradictory from episode to episode.  If you're reading this junk, don't compliment me, it's all from Wiki.  I cheat.  Plagiarize, that.

The boys were so quiet...... Ed McMahon would ask Johnny "How quiet were they?" (That ain't in Wiki...well, it probably is somewhar, but it ain't got nuttin to do with Andy, the Darlings.)  As a running gag, Andy would say 'Howdy" to the boys, and always got blank stares in return.  He'd say to Brisoe (Pops) "The boys are talkative today"...  swing and a miss on the irony, Brisoe answered "They all keyed up" (over the antics of Ernest T. Bass's quest for sister Charlene.

Or.......another band camp episode, Charlene has a baby daughter, Andy offers the boys "you must be proud to be the uncles".. which, received their pat blank stare... which, on que Briscoe responded "They all choked up."

In answer to the trivia over Aunt Bee's beans........The only lines spoken by the Darling boys occur in the jail scene of the episode "The Darlings Are Coming". Mitch can be heard to say, "About to pop." Another line was spoken by Doug. He could be heard saying, "Great beans, Aunt Bee."

A tad more on the Darling boys.  They was really the Dillards... the four boys.. the ones that "came from Missouri with a banjo on their knee.  Or, banjos I guess."  A legit bluegrass band that had moved from their home in Salem, Missouri to LA in 1962. Brothers Doug and Rodney Dillard, Mitch Jayne and Dean Webb.  Not long after their arrival, they signed up with an agency, and they were booked on The Andy Griffith Show.

And, thanks to a Facebook post today (I'm stealing) I'll make a short story, long:

"Why didn’t “The Darlings” talk on The Andy Griffith Show? From the very, very beginning, right when we were cast Andy had told us that we wouldn’t be paid as actors might be…we were musicians after all and as Andy said “there wouldn’t really be enough room for all of you to have lines anyhow.”

So we were each set to receive a couple hundred dollars, which was fine by us (remember we had just barely arrived from Missouri on our mission to “make it” as a band so you can imagine we were blown away to be on a successful television show).

But then Andy said something that changed our lives forever (and incidentally this also changed the entire genre of bluegrass forever) - he said “now what I will do is allow you all to record/perform your original bluegrass songs and we’ll use them on the show…plus I’ll let you retain the rights to those songs so that you can own them going forward…”

What does this mean? It means that the world has heard our songs like “Dooley” and “There is a Time” nearly every single day for the past 60+ years! Our appearances, along with Flatt & Scruggs’ appearances on The Beverly Hillbillies, turned bluegrass from a regional art form to something known in the mainstream and our songs became bluegrass classics so well known and ubiquitous that many forget we wrote them!

Andy could have made us perform public domain songs or insisted that his company own the publishing of our songs but no, he was so kind and generous to do that for us.

So we never talked on the #1 television show of all time, well, almost never for you trivia buffs, but we were given a gift beyond measure for our musical careers, a gift that really did change an entire music genre as well…

Very thankful for Andy Griffith!"

One more thing. Ya hear banjos? In yet another episode (1963), "Briscoe Declares for Aunt Bee" (I GOTTA go back and see that one...).. The boys performed the first widespread rendition of Guitar Boogie Smith's "Fruedin' Banjos" which, is actually Dueling Banjos.

So... the Missouri connection.

So... mebbe next time you's in the Ozarks..... mebbe Eldon, Camdenton, Van Buren, Popler Bluff, Salem, and ya hear banjos, ya might oughta run.

Right Ned?

Love, Victurd

Ahm, as an added bonus (ha, as is anything in my blog[s] is considered a bonus), copy, right click, then click 'open' on the below!

https://youtu.be/uhUnyAu-LQI

Let it be.........

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Victor?  You've done this one before.

Ya know, life is weird.  I was just reading a fellow idiot's blog (hey, seems to be the way of the World today, name call, eh, why not)... and fellow idiot talked to himself in his blog, much like "Victor?  You've done this one before."

The pressing theme is, let it be.  Alfred E. Neuman, "WHAT?  ME WORRY?"

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be 

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the broken-hearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be

Ain't we all been broken-hearted, somewhere, at some point in our lives?  Liar liar pants on fire if yo' answer was "NO!"  Life is all about retrospect. And yes, with that comes shoulda woulda coulda.

It's like Dolly said, VICTOR DAMNIT YOU CAN'T COMBINE TWO SONGS IN ONE BLOG!

Ahem.  Let it be.  Like Dolly said "Fine and dandy Lord it's like a hard candy ChristmasI'm barely getting through tomorrow But still I won't let Sorow bring me way down..  I'll be fine and dandy..Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas....I'm barely getting through tomorrow..But still I won't let Sorrow bring me way down

And no, yain't gotta call 911, I'm perfectly fine.  Really fine in fact. I just looked in the mirror and I fer sure ain't anorexic! FULL I am, in fact. Full and blessed. The shoulda woulda coulda, different for each of us... taint no such thing as perfection in life.  Try our best, best we can do.  Mo' money, bigger house, this relationship, that, in 1999 I shoulda.. nah, we can't do that.  Let it be.

We all, I think, have had some really yummy things happen in our lives.  Much, much love. Lucky we are.  I spoke to someone the other day (mighta already told this.. ha, let it be).. but she really didn't experience love within her nuclear family. Rather than using all that as a crutch to justify her ownself being ugly, addicted, mean, yucky - instead, she let it be and has turned it into very much a positive with her own children, grandchildren in her life.  Yum.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Yeah, there will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
(Guitar Solo by Harrison)

Ya know, I thought about wiping ole George's name out there... then thought, "Let it be"...The Beatles were the bomb... I was lucky to take the Road to Hana (if you've been, you know) to see where Mr. George lived... I never knew the reasoning or whointhehell Clapton's Layla was about - nor, any of the "we both loved her" between he, George.  Sorry, came outta leftfield. Let it be Victor. OK, will.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be

Whisper words of wisdom, let itu be

Other crap I thought about writing today..  VICTOR, WHO CARES?  Let it be Victor. I was gonna do a thing on 'all you can do in an hour'.  I watched an interesting youtube video on that.... dude was a Brti, a tad hard to understand.. I could see the number of pushups, situps, pullups, steps, yada... but then walking, running, that stuff always listed what's a km, I voted to hell with it, let it be... and here I am.

Another thought........ AYE YAI YAI VICTOR, ENOUGH!  Let it be... another thought was children.  I, and I hope we all, love children.  As an elementary PE teacher, I SO ENJOYED their inquisitive, 'wonder of the unknown' (in what we'll do today).. BIG, wide eyes and smiles...  that, kinda, is life for them all the time.  Yum. (More in a sec)...

And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be 

There will be an answer, let it be 

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be 

There will be an answer, let it be 

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be 

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Back to them little kids...  They find, life and learning about it, is all, or can all, be simplified, enhanced, eased, by the lyrics of Paul... just as we old farts too, can learn. Let it be, if we really let it, helps big time.

Here's to old dogs, new tricks, arf arf......

Love, Victurd

Please Mr. Postman......

Or mebbe, Message in a Bottle...... and don't forget Little Stevie ('cept, forget little cause he ain't that no more)..  "Signed Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours."

Old dogs, new tricks.

I was today old when I learned, the very first known messengers were in Egypt, 2400 BC, and they delivered documents and building materials for pyramids.  (Holy crap, no liftgates, forklifts, no two wheelers, even no wheelbarrows or Bengay.  Did they even have wheels then?)

And then, again, today old. I learn in Greece, shortly after victory in 490 BC in the Battle of Marathon, a courier ran 26 miles to announce this incredible feat - ceptin, he died of exhaustion enroute.

Then there was pigeons, 1870, French Navy trained 'em to go Sea to Land (and back) to gain military advantage.

Horses, chariots in the Roman Empire... and of course, the good ole US of A Pony Express, begun right 'cheer in our neighbor St. Joseph, Missouri.

Then there was camels.... dogs... 

Important stuff......... delivered.

Then, in 1907, two teenagers and their bicycles used a hunnerd bucks to start the American Messenger Service, which, has grown a tad as today it's better known as UPS.

Of course, nowadays, we're a handheld away from messaging cousin Lupe in Paris, or, brother Ben in Acapulco... or even one's spouse, who is in the kitchen "Honey, can you bring me another beer?"

Messages today. Auto correct happens, butchers.  Regular ole message can be misconstrued, misread, mistakes, cause all kindsa worry, angst, that.

Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed.

Actually, it was my Uncle Jim, may he RIP.  His message is one, simple, fast, and I OH SO wanna spout out sometimes when I get down, watch the dayum news too long, hear of things that get my goat (Goats never delivered messages that I recall.. bahhhhd idea I guess)... anyways, when I'm mad at the world.

Pardon my (Actually Jim's) French...   Whenever sneeze happened, he always, VERY LOUDLY [messaged] achoo "AHHHH SHITTTT!!!"

Spot on Uncle Jim, spot on..  Sorry, but not really,

Love, Victurd

FEED ME SEYMOUR!

An acorn fell and hit me on the head. Aghast, I must run, not walk, and warn..... Warn who?  You name it... Henny Penny.. Cocky Locky... the King (Andy?  Patrick? Travis? Clark?)..  WE LOST! LIFE, AS WE KNOW IT, IS OVER!

Woke up, fell outta bed (ie, I guess, Chicken Little) it wasn't the sky that was falling, twas me.

EXTRA EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT....... (Do I haveta?)..   Yes you Little Chicken, you must.

Andy and Patrick shouldered the blame... The reporters told us the why it happened.....They even shared snippets of the early good tidings KC fans (yes, I am one) spoke of for our upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas:    

"Dude, we suck again."...... and anudder....    "Yep,  it's over."....... next.......  "Wasting a prime Mahomes year because the defense has zero pass rush and can't get off the field on 3^rd down:... and let's toss in "Embarrassment, that all it is."  and yet one more, perhaps looking positively at it cause mebbe he didn't get thumped by no acorn "Well, I guess the good news is that after the season I may finally be able to afford some Chief's gear."

A nation finally gets to make fun of us.  That's OK, I was actually kinda getting tired of Jake from State Farm, The Eros Tour and "I just KNOW Clark Hunt is paying the referees, WHY ain't they investigating?"  I'd rather see Patrick doing a local Vinson Morgage ad... Kelce, a "Mike's got this" 3am ad... 

When I was 17, it was a very good year (right Frank?)..  An AFL team had moved to our fine City five years earlier.  Two leagues merged, lo and behold, in January that year the Chiefs won the Super Bowl (named such because of our owner's suggestion "Let's name the game something fun, like Super Ball"

Usn's back then gathered, went to the parade. Then, watched em annually, or more.  Feed me (s'more) Seymour.  "It'll be like this every year won't it Hank?"  Uh huh, right.  Meanwhile, life happened.  Graduation.  Jobs. Grind. Marriages. Children  Divorces. Wars. Fads. Music invasion. 401K's skyrocketing, bankrupt companies, , oops, 2008 (ACORNS! LOOK OUT!).. Finally, after hair loss, loss of many loved ones, pounds, many pounds gained (wrinkles too).. FITTY.. Yes FITTY years later, it happened again.  Thank you Clark for paying those refs!

When I was 32, it was a very good year.  You see, that same year the Chiefs won the Super Bowl when I was 17, we gained a Major League Baseball lteam. Baseball Ray.  After years and YEARS of HUGE losses, near misses happened.  Twas always the damn Yankees. (Hated, much like folks hated the Patriots, anything Dallas Cowboys, The Lakers, Dodgers - and, most recently the Chiefs.)..  Finally, a pennant. Parade. Feed me (s'more) Seymour.  "It'll be like this every year won't it Hank?"

This time, it took 30 years.  Scroll to 2015.  Half the damn town owned, wore, Royal's Blue.  Regular ole regular Kansas City restaurants would break out in cheer "LET'S GO ROYALS" (stomp your feet..  stomp stomp, stomp stomp stomp)... Snotnoses, 17, and much younger dreamed.  Feed me (s'more) Seymour.  "It'll be like this every year won't it Hank?"

So what's the end game Victor?  There really ain't one, and that, in part, is the beauty of it.  Most of the time, acorns fall from trees, are gobbled up by deer, squirrels, pigs and the like.. one or two BOP folks on the head... 

Along the way..  much happens.  Many losses.  Ya win some, ya lose some.  Buddy'a mine, whenever the MLB strike was.. "Never ever watching again."  Don't tell, he now pays monthly for FanDuel.  Anudder buddy, he burnt ever lick'a Chief's gear he owned when the lost the Super Bowl in 2021. Go look in his closet today. Uh huh.

Once inawhile, an acorn doesn't get seen by Bambi, Rocket J, Porky.. survives.. a sapling happens.  Rain, sun, s'more, growth happens.  Awkward looking in infancy, one day, finally, many rings around a spectacular Oak tree happens.

In spitea some saplings not making it (can you say Kansas City Kings..  Kansas City Scouts)... years and years and years of last place, next to last place, second place, yada..  grandness ultimately wins out.

(Carry on wayward son.. no. that aint it... carry on Frank) But now the days grow short I'm in the autumn of the year and now I think of my life.. as vintage from fine old kegs..   From the brim to the dregs.. and it poured sweet and clear.... it was a very good year.

Feed me Seymour.  Going to wash my Royal's gear, pitchers and catchers report soon.  VICTURD!! Ain'tno fat lady sung yet, hang on!  We gots Andy, Patrick, Travis, Big Chris.. Veach, give 'em a break.

Fanatic = a person filled with excessive and single-minded zeal.

Feed me Seymour.  Ever eat a pine tree? Er, I mean acorn?

Love, Victurd

(Congrats to Terry and his Broncos!)

Also ran's......

Webster, 1758 - 1843, was 'that day's' Dewey Decimal, AOL, Yahoo, Google, AI, yada. He noted of 'Also ran's', "One that is of little importance, especially competitively.... a horse or dog that finishes out of the money in a race."

As we approach Thanksgiving (Aye yai yai, howinthehell is he gonna weave this one together)....  ahem, as we approach Thanksgiving, we annually stop children, what's the sound everybody look what's going down........ no, damnit that ain't it.

We annually talk, remember, share, pray, list - our win, place and show reasons for what we're thankful for.  Stuff like family (mom, dad, granny, gramps, sibs, kids, grandkids, aunts, uncs, cousins, steps, inlaws, yada)... pets (hounds, kitties, rabbits, hamsters, etc).. friends (BFF's, classmates, coworkers, yada)..... not necessarily in that order, but, sometimes!

Also ran things we're thankful for, shouldn't, carry negative connotation - for, things (at least things I'm thinking of) very much add to happiness, good feel in life - thus, we're thankful.

We turn the key, or, touch the fob, and presto, the car starts.  We don't really even stop once a year to thinka it, but, aye yai yai, should it not start, we call it every name in the book except 'woah, or atta girl Nellie.'  Shouldn't.  It (car starting) makes our lives so so much easier, happy.)

Them eyes opening, daily. We often get stuck in the 'good gosh, whadda I gotta do today, and it's an instant neg-a-tory.  Instead, when we open the peepers, Thank You Lord, I getta nuther day (be it Winter Spring Summer or Fall.... Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday...  work day, day off, golf, church, book club, bunko, meeting with friends, etc..... Thank you for (another) eye opening opportunity.

Smiles from folks we have no idea who they are, big'ns, little'ns, young, old, you name it......... imaging a day, or worse, days, of not having those beautiful, quick gifts in our lives.  Yummy ivy, so to speak, the opposite of poison ivy, yet both 'rub off'.  Thank you thank you, whoeverintheheck you are.  You make our days better.

Pennies on the ground face up, quarters left in Aldi's carts...dollars found in our jeans at laundry time.

Leftovers in the fridge - best friend of us 'too tired to cook' folks.

Electricity, heat, fans, fireplaces, fire pits, 25 year light bulbs (seeya again .when I'm 98 big fella).... and, the Dave Clark Five would remind us of USB's, charger cords that, charge us, I said over and over and over again........

Facebook - or, I guess any social platform that affords entertainment, enlightenment.  Three of the four in my/our golf foursome, refuse to enlist, envision disgust, cliquishness, gossip, swindlers, zero good of being there, participating.  I vote, thank you Facebook (whadever, X, Instagram, Tik, Snap, that stuff)...   I laugh, I cry (most times a good cry).. things make me think.. there are jokes, funny vids, and maybe the best part, frequent 'touch' of, with friends. Llittle BIG things that brighten a day.

Grocery store loss leaders.  Sam's Club $2.77 TWO pieces of pizza AND the extra large soda of your choice.  Zarda's Ten Buck Classic Lunch (classic sandwich and classic side)...  WENDY'S CHILI. - don't NEVA' change a thing about it, and PLEASE, don't close OUR local one!

Big Screen TV's us 5 figure income folks can even afford.  Kids with jackets, good shoes, food on the table.

Anyone that observes a person possibly needing assistance with a regular ole regular chore, stops, and asks if that person needs assistance.  As one of affliction, I rarely take the help, but man oh man do I thank them, and the offer really makes me feel good about man and womankind. 

Sounds.  Sirens, we're safe.  Mowers, we're beautifying.  Jackhammers, skid steers, bobcats, cones, bright colored coats on hardworking folks - our infrastructure is being assured a nice tomorrow. Thank you, today.

The Sun, the Moon. Light, dark.  AM time, PM time.  Tides.  Morning coffee, and yeah, mebbe the nightcap of a beer, glass of wine, or, green tea, whadever floats your boat.

Boats that float, swim float toys that ain't punctured, clouds floating in the sky.

Internal voices that, tap me on the shoulder, remind, Victor, maybe it's time to stop. Thank you.

Ugly has, and is gonna continue to happen.  War. Political division.  Sadly, discrimination of all types.  Loss, THE very hardest to swallow.

Organ donors.  I truly believe the most touching thing I've ever witnessed... was a video of an older gentleman, walking a bride down the aisle.  He didn't know her, until he found out she was able to continue her own life, thanks to the heart transplant she received from his own daughter.  No words.  Or maybe, not enough words.  Simply beautiful. My own son was an organ donor in March of this year, and that literally makes me one very proud papa.

Thank goodness, of course, for the Win, Place and Show things we stop and give thanks to every November.......

ALSO RAN'S (erroneously labeled)........ please know you too play a huge role in the recipe for a yummy life.

Happy day, Love, Victurd