Updated lyrics.......

You're sixteen......

First off, shame on you Ringo.  Sang in 1973, you were 33.  16?  Anyway, here goes.....

You come on like a dream,

Wrinkled peaches, no cream,

Lips that've buried some wine,

You're sixty-eight, you're beautiful

And your mine....  (Now that you're 85, that works Ringo)

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Fitty ways........

"The problem is all inside your head," she said to me

"The answer is easy if you take it logically"

Ya just hop on an Uber, Goober.. 

Drop off the fob, Bob

You just listen to me.. 

Make a new Instagram Sam

Just plug in your Tes, Les...

Don a wig, go in, and sit when you pee, Lee....

And get yourself free

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I love rock and roll, get your MasterCard for the juke box baby......

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I want one bourbon, one shot and one beer...  That'll be $63.42 Mr. Thorogood.....

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Since I got older, and I lost my hair

Many years ago.. 

Can you still send me a Valentine, a Birthday Greeting, Pedialyte time?

If I stay up until quarter till ten, would you lock the bedroom door?

Will you still knead me, will you still feed me, now that I'm eighty-four

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They say we're old and we don't know,

We won't find out until we go..

Well I don't know if all that's true

Cause you got me and baby I got you.....

They say our SS won't pay the rent, 

Before the third Wednesday, the money's all been spent,

I guess that's so we don't have a pot

But at least I'm sure of all the things we've got...

I got flowers in the spring,

Due to arthritis, you still wear my ring

And if I get scared, you're always around,

So let them say, you're hair's too grey

Cause I don't care, since mine's gone away......

With our two walkers and four tennis balls, 

there ain't no hill  or mountain we can't climb..

Babe,

I got you babe (if you fall). 

You got me babe (if I fall)

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Littie ditty 'bout Jack and Diane

Two American geezers, grown up in the heartland,

Jackie usedta be a football star

Leather helmets, now he ain't very smart

Suckin' on a chili dog

Outside the Tastee Freez

So much easier whenya ain't go not teeth...

Jackie said "Hey Diane, let's run off behind a shady tree... 

Dribble off those Alfred Dunner elastic waste band slacks and let me do what I please.." Diane said "Now Jackie that's a pill and an hour, we pickup our grandkid in thirty minutes - we ain't got the time or the chutzpah"

Say uh, oh yeah, life goes on ..

Long after the thrill of livin' is gone..

Say oh yeah, life goes on,

Long after the thrill of livin' is gone, 

They walk(er) on....

A little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane.. 

Two American geezers doin' the best they can

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Well crap, it sounded like a good idea anyways.....