Victor? Yeah? Are you being a good boy this Thanksgiving, mebbe dragging the good china outta the buffet, cleaning it, as well as getting that fancy dancy shiny real silverware? Unfolding, placing, that elegant, silk, tablecloth on the table? Grabbing those table leaves outta the basement so you can fit 12 versus the normal six?
Once again, quoting my stepson, "Not no's, but hells no's.. or, I don't cuss, but Jane, you ignorant slut ain't really cussin' is it? Demonstrated past of maybe helping a little, then, disappearing to make sure the remote was on whoever the Cowboys were playing.
'
Me. Kansas. Oil. Water. Hatfields, McCoys. ... Brando, Sinatra. Joan Crawford, and she's got Bette Davis eyes. Goofus, Gallant. Taste great, Less filling.
Born, bred, forever, a Missourian. MIZ... ZOU! You can't even spell Missouri!... BITE ME, whatintheheck kinda Bird is that?
All those yummy years,... wait, hold on a sec... I gotta make sure what direction Columbia is so I can bow down, in honor of the great one, Stormin' Norm Stewart, another, born, bred, Missourian... actually played for MU... and then, longtime Basketball coach for MU.
Norm, when he'd take the Tigers to Larryville, KS to play KU, would tell the bus driver, "Hey Frank, pull into that 7-11 there in Blue Springs, we gotta gas up, we aint buyin' NOTHIN' in Kansas."
Backing that bus up even further, when Norman was a Senior in HS, and KU actually recruited him. He still has a book from his visit signed by Phog Allen himself as a keepsake. After the visit, Norm got a check in the mail for $40, stamped Mileage and Expenses.. "Nothing illegal," but he joked that perhaps Clyde Lovellette and Wilt Chamberlin got reimbursed more." Adidas?
OK, yes. Norm had a losing record against KU in basketball. I think everyone does. This will self destruct in two minutes, they are a revered program, sure, to be admired. I don't care, Black and Gold. One old codger might holler, "Oh sure, talk all you want about them damn trophies (some post season tournament or something like that).. what about football? I hear folks all the time, "Well... I'm actually a Notre Dame (or OU, or Ohio State of USC) football fan, but, nope, when it comes to basketball.... ROCK CHALK BABY.
What is rock chalk anyways? Have they not grown from the age of marking up the sidewalks? I'm joking!
Years and years of banter back and forth with many buddies, most specifically Schwabby, a Missouri transplant to Lawrence, "But Vic, I've lived in Lawrence longer than I lived in Missouri." Joke may be on him though, I've got an image of a text or message, hell I don't remember where he told me "Don't tell, I still root for MU in football." Oops, sorry, told. Schwabby did shut me up for about a year once though... One of his suppliers at work sold office chairs with college teams emblems embroidered in them. Damned if he didn't fetch me one with a nifty MU emblem. Hi Rickety nice of him, I must say.
We'd 'taste great less filling' back and forth.. "Drove to Colorado, them Flint Hills are really mole hills... and, about the only thing to see are those huge Mercedes Benz fans, well, wheat too, oh, and more sunflowers than fescue..." "Our highways are like slate, I've had so, so many tire repairs, front end alignments due to Misery's crappy roads.. and that stench on Front Street in KC?.. speakinowhich, you seen our trophy case?"
There are rivalries, then there are rivalries. As also being a diehard Chief's fan, I gotta admit I thought Kenny Stabler of the Raiders was perty darn cool. Also, I'm a Cardinal fan too, but, I too rooted for KC raised Rick Sutcliffe when he pitched for the Cubs. I AIN'T NEVER EVER rooted for KU, and, unless I find myself in a memory ward someday, I never will.
Victor? Yeah? Kansas DOES offer a lot. YEAH, WHAT? Well, we've got THE LARGEST BALL OF TWINE in the WORLD... the largest hand dug well.... and don't forget, we gotta monument near Lebanon marking THE GEOGRAPHIC CENTER of the Contiguous United States! Stick that in your Washington Missouri corn cob pipe and smoke it!
And........... I was today old when I learned Kansas has gas. Huh? Yeah... actually, a pretty cool story. Ya know all them HUGE blow up characters in the Annual Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade? Well, they get their gas to 'fly' from Otis. As in Otis, KS. Yep, Mickey, Minnie, Dora, Mario, Spider-Man, et al, ALL, filled with helium from Otis.
Nuh uh. UH HUH. In the ground, there is decay of elements like uranium that accumulate over centuries in underground pockets. (Kansas has gas).. They dig it up, somehow refine it, truck it as liquid helium to some plant in Jersey - and from there, presto, the balloon kinda helium is made, Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Spider-man, Willie and Waylan and the boys are filled up, standing tall amongst the skyscrapers.
Victor, don't be so crass about Kansas. Aren't you aware Wilt played here? Gayle friggin' Sayers? Home to Bob Dole.. AND, don't forget DOROTHY! TOTO TOO!
Yeah, and, the Wicked Witch of the West too... and yes, I've seen your trophy case.
WAIT! WHAT?
My grandkids moved to Topeka? I mean.. er... my oldest is a Freshman in High School... What if? What if? What if she goes to KU? HEAVENS TO MERGATROID!
I know. (Sit down Norm, now ya got that rocking chair and all)... I'll go and buy me a KU jacket, that's what I'll do.
I thought about doing the same ole same old "I am thankful for" blog, and don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for a lot But. I've got gas too.
Love, Victurd
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