I thought it would be easy about writing about being old, because... well, I am.
It ain't. There's no 'structions for being old. I'm not sure if I've forgotten the rules, or, I don't pay no 'tention to 'em cause I'm old. I mean, don't you now wear socks with your sandals? Have ice cream for breakfast? I draw the line, and call bullsh*t to Bingo being a sport.
I've noticed, more women make it than men. For example. They say Arizona has a 9 to 1 ratio, chickies to roosters. If I wasn't such a ginger, I might consider. Research I've done (which, ain't much) indicates "Old people still enjoy sex." How do they know that? When my census taker knocked on the door, he wanted name, age, date of birth, race.. oh, and he did ask "sex" but I just said male, I didn't know it was a yes or no question.
It (research, they, I ain't real sure who) said "Seniors transform from a structured environment (working) to a relaxed, no stated pattern, game plan for retirement. There's a great need for purpose." I heard that once before and I really didn't like it then either. On purpose I don't like it.
If. You. Are. From. Where. I. Am. Grew. Up. Graduated. (1970) you might remember our beloved Coach Cokely. Well... we are exactly 13 years older than Coach was in 1970. Uh huh, what I thought too.
While sure, sit down Volleyball, played across the table, with a balloon as the 'volleyball' might be fun... and.. armed with nerf guns in our wheelchair for us to 'kill' the Golden Acres CNA's dressed as Bambi might be fun, I kinda think I'd still like the real McCoy. Then, i think about it, and wanna take a nap. On purpose. My purpose.
Nuther article said "Now that you're financially secure, and great attention is paid to healthy behaviors (dieting, cutting out alcohol, cigs, all the fun stuff) and exercise is job one..." Did they just like get here? "Thanks for dumping my ashtray Samantha, can I get another Miller Lite? Oh, and did I tellya I went to the gym today? No time today to workout, but, I sat in the Jacuzzi, then went in the Sauna... an hour of heaven."
"A goal should be to impart wisdom gained over the years to younger folks." They don't want that! And I don't blame 'em. If they ever do share things about their lives - I might physically react, respond with facial gesture - but they ain't gotta care in the world what us OG's say.
Get a tattoo, take that bucket list trip, or five. "Enjoyable pastimes like gardening, cooking, listening to music can encourage social interaction, stimulate the mind, and, bring structure to the day." There's that word again. Structure. Who said so? Why? Hell no, we wont try.
I WILL wear a striped shirt and plaid pants to Piggly Wiggly.. My socks might not even match. WHO CARES? On purpose (SEE? I GOTTA PURPOSE!) I might even leave my barn door open.
Oh sure, there is some jesting in the above. That said, we've a lifetime of Big Chief tablets with those dotted lines to help (make us) form letters... Curriculums, true/false, multiple choice, sign, sign everywhere a sign..
Meetings, training, seminars, continuing education, shadowing, mentorship, cross-training, peer led sessions, workshops........ STOP RIGHT THERE MEATLOAF.. We've had enough of that crap!
Sure, there will always be have to's. That said, succinctly, I think being old, being retired, being our age - is all about doing whatever whenever. Sorry. Kinda. Not really. Said it, on purpose.
All we ever needed to now we learned in Kiddygarten. No, wait, that ain't it. It was Eric. Eric Burdon. The Animals. In 1965:
It's my life and I'll do what I want... it's my mind and I'll think like I want.
Come to think'a it, I really like that album as a Big Chief lesson plan for life... "Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood."........ ahm, and, "We Gotta Get Outta This Place".... not too mention "Don't Bring Me Down."
It's My Life.
Our, old people's life.
OK Boys and Girls.. Here's a #2 leaded pencil and an 8 1/2 by 11 blank sheet of paper.
Us, truly Blessed to be old people can.. Create however we wanna.
School's out for the summer... School's out forever.
Love, Victurd
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