Nuther buddy, told me, "I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie".... no, wait, sorry... that ain't it... He's a longtime naysayer of women's sports, specifically basketball... 'I dreamed I scored 74 points in a girl's basketball game." Absolutely no tips or hints as to who it was, that tain't right.
Me? I hear things in my sleep. Particularly door/window knocks. Sir Isaac Newton would be proud of me, for my equal and opposite reaction is "OHHHH SH*TTTTT.... WAS THAT LIVE OR WAS IT MEMOREX (in my dreams)..." Sweating, profusely, I make Barney Fife look calm...
And then the blog reader said "VICTOR... if this really ain't got nuttin' to do do with the blog, then why the hell tell us?" Point, counterpoint.
Thanks, I guess you're right. The KNOCK (noise) actually does have to do with today's blog.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here (in Kansas City) for the Big 12 College Basketball Tournament in Kansas City. (I KNEW it. He's a friggin' misogynist, annuder damn blog about sports, MEN's sports)
There was a blog a bit ago about the changes in sports, specifically the decor in, around stadiums, arenas (The BUD LIGHT sign is SIX TIMES the size of the Ball and Strike sign.) HUGE big business signs (STATE FARM, QT, GEHA FIELD) now remind/attach Big League to Little League (Moore's Barbershop, Boggess Welders, Liddle's Sport Shop). That ain't the point though. It's Baseball Ray, and that's the way (uh huh uh huh) I like it and that's the way it should STAY.
Today's world is "OK, I'm an admitted GEEZER, bring on your new electric, eclectic, swipe this, app that, "stay outta the way OG, it's progress, you're on the way to the yard of bones." And, we're just sposeta take any, all, new inventions, ideas, accompanied by "howinthehell do I now.......", "whatinthehell are they doing now....". I. Just. Don't. Get. It."
That.
That crap.
The T-Mobile Center (which usedta be the Sprint Cougar Mellencamp Center) is where the Big 12 Basketball Tourney is being played.
"Hey?.... HEY GEEZER?!!! Can you get that antiquated 2002 Buick Century away from the delivery door?? We're here to deliver, install the brand spankin' new LED Basketball Floor."
LED BASKETBALL FLOOR? Howinthehell..........whatinthehell..... I. JUST. DON'T. GET. IT. "It's called progress there Walter Brennan, now go move your rat trap to the parking garage."
So................. now............. the floor lights up. That may not be a shock to you, but, 'tis to me. THE FLOOR LIGHTS UP. I just wanna watch basketball... NOT, ads for "Mike's Got This" personal injury lawyers, "Vinson Mortage"..."Topsy's Popcorn" (no matter HOW yummy the cinamon AND the carmel popcorn is). LED? LIGHTS? ON A BASKETBALL COURT? And WHATINTHEHELL is that hideous looking ficticious Bird, and WHY is he taking up 3/4's of Jackson County?
I feel like............ Nauseous Victor? NO. I feel like, it's dark, I'm at the light at 291 and 1 fitty-two highway and there's a GD (gosh darn) F250 behind me, less than an inch from my bumper, them F one fitties are just below the mirror level, the F TWO FITTY's ARE DEAD-ON SMACK-DAB RIGHT ON MIRROR LEVEL.. I flip my mirror to the night thingy, in turn, he quickly flashes his brights, as if to say "GET USED TO IT OG, THESE ARE MY LOW BEAMS, OH, AND THEY'RE LEGAL.
It's like that song, you know, the one by Manfred Mann way back in '76 "AND I WAS BLINDED BY THE LIGHT... WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE". VICTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! You just did away with ANY chance to make friends, NOT be a misognist. Even if you, and 3/4's of the US mis-hear those lyrics, it's 'REVVED UP LIKE A DUECE"...
OK, fine, whadever. I couldn't see a damn thing, how's that? And now.... now, we go to watch a basketball game, and........ as we're looking at futuure Dr J's, Michaels, Bronny's...... we gotta dodge the Gates BBQ and Russell Stover signs to see 'em make a 3 pointer? (Where's that family barf bowl from yesterday.)
Besides, there ain't no traction! They're slip sliding away.....You know the nearer to the basket, the more they're slip sliding away.
I've seen everything now and it's too much. Besides, remember in that Hoosier's Movie when Coach Hackman got his tape measure out and measured "Yep, the basket is 10' off the floor, just like ours at the Hickory gym.."
WELL! NOT at the T-Mobile Sprint Mellencamp Cougar Center, that LED crap HAS to have some depth to it... them baskets AIN'T ten feet no more. Hate hate hate, patooey.......... (I guess, on the bright side [pun mebbe intended] I couid/would use that as excuse if I shot poorly, which, I always did anyways. "well no wunder's I's 2 outta 12 Coach, them baskets ain't ten feet!" Victor, just remember, free throws and layups only, nuttin' else. Damnit darnit.
Victor. Please take a chill pill. Oh, and............
There WERE complaints about how slick the floor was. They're removing it today and today's game will be back on the good ole hardwood.
Wait a minute, it's stopped LED'ing,
Chucks are squeaking, guys are balling,
Playing basketball, gee that's better,
Muddah, Faddah kindly disregard this letter.
I go to the hills (gyms, ballparks) for the sound of those Chuck's squeaking... REAL wood bats hitting baseballs. No 'pings', no gosh darn LED lights.
Sorry, I'm a geezer. Actually, I'm not sorry. .I'm blessed to still be here... You just have to put up with our asking WHY and WHY NOT when there's a sign, sign, everywhere a (LED) sign... for a bit longer.
Oh happy day........... uumpah uumpah chicky chicky uumpah,
Love, Victurd
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