When I grow up............

I plan to be thrifty.  Insteada like putting a gloss finish on my nails (I heard men do that for strength, so they won't crack, split, etc) I'm gonna (daily) devour Cheetos, Cheese balls and Chili Cheese Fritos.  Who needs clear when you can do orange - and, the best part.. two hours after you've put the bag away you can go back and suckup dessert from your pinkies, free.

 

Same thing with a beard.  WHY pay for shaving?  Breakfast, eggs, bacon bits, dribble dribble... drive/go to work.. first break, grab ma' comb, scoop the beard, seconds, YUM!

 

I intend to play video games wheneva I wanna, BUT, I ain't payin', buyin' no Xbox, NOPE.  I intend to be THE very fastest to look at 12 pictures on a screen, click, fast-as-I-can, all the ones that have a bus in the picture.  No ads! FREE!  FUN!  Get bored? Then I'll switch to bicycles, or crosswalks, sumpin.

 

Marksman.  THAT, I will be too, without having to buy expensive guns, ammo, camo, ain't gotta drive to country, knock-on-a-door and ask "Hey Mister, can we hunt on your ground?"  Nope, I'm gonna pretend my mouse, yes, my computer mouse, is a 20 gauge (12 gauge hurts, recoils too much) and all-night-long (right Lionel, you rich ole American Idol dude!)... I'm gonna BLAST pop-ups on my computer.  BAM BAM, BAM BAM BAM.  Shoot all the damn time I wanna and STILL be a good Democrat.

 

I have entrepreneurial ideas. One time, band camp, I made $36.75 in under two hours at Aldi's, standing outside by the carts, asking if someone had a quarter. Were you aware there are 2,684 Aldi's in the US?  Hell, there's a hunnerd and five in Missouri... and, vacay/snowbird?  315 in Florida!

 

Suburbs abound here. Each, having ten to twelve restaurant/bar kinda places.  All I need is a fat-man's lawn chair (learned the hard way, GOTTA be 250 lb test/capacity),  a bucket, and a friendly smile - sit out front of the restaurant/bar, from, say, 6p to 7p, holler '$5 cover charge'  (that's the goin' rate in Missouri, over there in uppityville (JoCo) you can ask for $10.  I gotta pad that Social Security somehow. 

 

My heroes, role models, Mr. Haney on Green Acres, hell, Oliver would buy anything from him, and, Elvis's Colonel Parker who often kept fitty percent of what Elvis made from his bookings.

 

It's the day and age of, reading an article, watching the news, virtually anything, only to learn later, nope, no morals, no couth, that ain't real, regurgitate, get up, do 'em all again tomorrow.  AI is a good thing, but then, it got in people's hands.

 

Just got my first 'paycheck' from being a pooper scooper, 20 bucks (a ten, a five and 5 ones).. "Hey kid... I'll giveya ten bucks if you fill this WallyWorld sack up with dog poop from that lady's yard.... and, an extra two bucks if you do it in under an hour."

 

Grease is the word.......... .the way.   Too bad, so sad, but, whatta ya gonna do....

 

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

 

Victor, you're nuts.  Yes, that had been established earlier. 

 

Love, Victurd