Baby you can drive my car............ No thanks, we're Amish....
Ahm, our family employs Stan. Stan always drives our vehicles. And, our kids love him. Cooks a mean breakfast too.
We take the bus everywhere, well, we do walk to school. Mom said though, if she does get that second job at Aldi's we could get a car sometime in January.
Our family has a second generation Honda Accord. It's amazingly clean, garaged every night, never smoked in, oil changed every 3,000 miles.. Dad has ALL the receipts on ALL things mechanically ever done on it.
Ahm, I drive a 2002 Buick Century... Smoke like a fiend, on the passenger side floor I've got empty sacks from Mickey D's, Burger King, Wendy's, even Smaks. SMAKS? They ain't been in business in 20 years? I guess it IS time I should clean it out. Prolly oughta wash it too... park under a walnut tree. We're supposed to change the oil?
Innie or an outie? Outie. Innie, I collect lint. To be frank (again, I'd have to change my name) but, I've never checked. "I don't have one," Super Mario.. "Play a game?"
Sure, whadda you like? As a kid, wiffle ball... now, I prefer the company of me, myself and I, so it's Sudoku..... I played that once, boring. I prefer gin, spades, hearts, 5 card poker. Gimme Cards Against Humanity any ole day. DANG, you still watch a lotta MeTV? No, if we ain't playing CAH then it's Trivial Pursuit.
I'm hungry. Mickey D's? Did you just get here? Ahm,, no, I've been here since Ike was in office. So, are you Republican or Democrat?
How 'bout those Chiefs! THEY SUCK. Get ALL the calls. QB sounds like Kermit. I happen TO LIKE Kermit. Oh, Frog-went-a-courtin' eh?
No, I haven't had a date in.......... well, I think Obama was in office. Kiss on the first date? 5th. Hug? 5th. Take your clothes off? 5th. YOU'RE no fun, you choose not to answer anything. I DID TOO, I toldya, it depends on how much of the 5th has been consumed. YOU'RE DISGUSTING!
No, oysters are disgusting. I LOVE oysters. That book 'Fitty Shades' is disgusting. Really? I read it four times, but, I enjoyed the movie better. So, do you like them big ole big screen theaters? Or, are you a 'take the family to the Drive In kinda person?
Neither. She likes to go honky tonkin' at 'down home' bars, listening to beginners play some covers, dancing all the while. I just sit there, eat peanuts, throw the shells on the floor and play Keno. Won $63 back in ought-six. ........... Ahm, Stan drives us to the Piano Bar, then, after our fill of hors d'oerves we Uber home.
What's your favorite season? Summer, the hotter the better. Has absolutely nothing to do with women wearing less. Your nose is growing.......... I like Winter, we drive to Phoenix for three months. CHRISTMAS, of course!... I kinda like Lent, I lose 20 pounds every year. We've already discussed lint. Ahm, different kind.
Ever Karaoke? NEVER......... Hand me the mike then....... Yeah, she sings "Crazy"... and "They're coming to take me away".. Fits her. My hubby sings Clapton's Promises, ain't sure if he's trying to send a message.... We usedta Karaoke, but, the bar we go to stopped having it the night the DJ sang Take This Job and Shove It......... then left.
Hey? Whadda you do to kill time? Well, I dont. I took the batteries outta the clock years ago.. I still wear clothes that were in 40 yrs ago.. I watch MeTV all day, and yes, I'm still in love with Elizabeth Montgomery. Thinkin' about getting a mullet. You?
Well, I play Sudoku. Took second place recently in an online contest. Wow, bet your family was proud eh? Bite me. I take naps. I watch sports and gamble. I talk on the phone all day to my besties. YUCK. I bet you like Oysters too. Stan and I play Gin Rummy while the kids are at school.
What do you do when you're really bored? Well, I get out all my meds, and reread the fine print literature. Nap, of course. I play Pong. I do that Tai Chi sit in the chair crap, wears me out, then a nap.
Me? I read this weirdo's blog. Puts me to sleep EVERY time.
Love, Victurd
*BLOGGER NOTE: After I finished, I reread this.. and told myself.."Victor, people are gonna think you're actually nuts. Are you comfy with that?" At this point in my life, yes, don't care, but I love you!
No comments:
Post a Comment