A little ditty 'bout Jackie and Shadow..

Victor, that ain't it..  it's Jack and Diane.. 

Well... (That's a deep subject)..

Well, Jackie and Shadow are actually bald eagles.  Happy ones.  They live high up in a tree...  

In Big Bear Valley.. which sets inside the San Bernardino National Forest in Southern California. 

They, unwittingly, are the stars in the newest reality show.

Some time ago, I don't remember anything about Shadow and wearin' Bobbie Brooks, don't think she was..

Jackie gonna be, a football star?  Play for the Eagles?  Ahm, no.

The two were suckin' on a chilled herron outside the big trees...  Shadow's sittin' on Jackie's lap, turns his beak out to see...

Jackie says "Hey Shadow, let's run off to the top of that shady tree."

Or, however it happened.

Love and herron, love and herron, go together like a horse and a carriage.. this I tell you brother, you can't have one without the other.

Shadow consented.  They'd been flyin' down the road, tryna loosen their load... ie, wanted to Take It Easy.. you know, Eagles.

Plop plop plop, 3 eggs. Victor, you misogynist, you're gonna catch hell from women for that.  Ok, lemme rephrase.

Her feathers in a dander, on end.. frantic, fear, OUCH, near hatred in her eyes, Shadow then pointed a talon claw at Jackie and screamed, "DAMN YOU!  THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" (Plop, plop, plop. .. or something like that.)

36 days later:  Pip. Pip.

Gladys Knight?

No. Pips are baby pecks that put a small tear in the egg, as if to say, "Lemme outta here!"

Two, greeted the World yesterday.  They are the cutest, ugliest, fuzziest damn things you ever saw!

So..  24/7, they have a cam on them. I trust your Googling skills if you'd like to track them down. You can also look at my Facebook post just before this. (If it's dark-thirty, or, ya can't see the eaglets cause mom or dad are sittin on em, you can 'rewind' to an earlier hour.)

Could be too, ya just ain't into this. I get a peaceful easy feeling you'd simply prefer Sudoku, Fox/CNN, Judge Judy, Aunt Bea and Ope. I'm good with that.

But, Desperado, I could be wrong..  you and the Witchy Woman (MISOGYNIST! AM NOT!) might even wanna Take It To The Limit, drive over them Seven Bridges, get ya a California Hotel, or sumpin like that..    simply to see for yourself, what, you know in these days of Lyin Eyes, ya never know.

Wiki done tells me Bald Eagles ain't really bald. That's derived from an older meaning if the word, "white-headed."

"The sexes are identical in plumage, but females are about 25% larger than males." MISOGYNIST!  AM NOT, THAT WAS WIKI!

Ok, I'll get out of your hair.  I, personally, am fascinated by this, the cam..  and Eagles in general.  They make THE biggest nests of any bird, impressive.

A little ditty 'bout Jackie and Shadow... two American Eagles doin' the best they can..

Forward by Joe Walsh, Don Henley, Glenn Frey, and two Eagle Scouts

Love, Victurd

Bad boy bad boy watcha gonna do..Therapy...

Seeing someone in the aisle of the Piggly Wiggly that makes ya wanna run to 'em, not away from.

Table and chairs really aren't too exciting, but... fill 'em with good friends, family, no reason to keep checking your watch..  the table and chairs become magical. 

A hound's tail, a kitty cat's indifference...

Barney Fife, Weeee Doggies Jed Clampett... Conway, Burnett and also Harvey Korman - the only man to become a zillionaire simply by holding in burst at the seams laughter as long as he could.

Us geezers, running,  actually running in Wally World, after holding in burst at the seams tinkle as long as we could.

A full Mickey D's bag, and, "Hey, they didn't forget nuthin."

A song on the radio (Sirius for you uptown ones) that takes you to a happy time, place, age, along with the faces of who was there, then. Bad boy bad boy whatcha gonna do? SING those damn lyrics, even if they ain't right!)

A photo album, much like the table, chairs above, unfilled, none too exciting.  Fill it. Go back. Yum. A mixture of happy, a pinch of sad, and a note of thanks to whomever took the time to snap and develop the pics.

Among the best presents I ever got (ballglove, 8ish, clock radio, age 9ish).. a simple envelope of family pics a loved one had around the house (71ish), and the specifics of knowing those times musta meant a lot to the giver as well.

Lasagna, Fritos (Chili Cheese or regular, dont matter), a fall off the peel tangerine in fronta me (at least for me anyways, figure you got your own yummy list)..  a grandkid's face, hidden behind a vanilla cone.

24/7 in that it means we're still here (QT and the Awful Waffle are open), but, perhaps the bestest are the pink and light orange hues of sunrise, sunset.

When the key, Fob, EV allows one to go, (almost) the first time, everything.

Waves, hugs, smiles, fist bumps, preceded by the how you thankfully got to know that person.

Friend's list, Facebook, phone contact, even just simply the ones up there in the noggin.

Simple, easy. Elation, exhaustion upon completion of hard.

When your child, grand, friend, buddy, coworker, maybe even boss, asks, "Where ya going?", followed by, "I'm 72, any damn where I wanna."

The ability to sense, restless, are we there yet are we huh huh? And, reply...

OK, OK, OK.. 

But, before ya go... you point out, none of the good above has anything to do with which lever one pulls on election day... what color, orientation, yada yada one is.. where ya came from..  the figures on one's receipt from the bank...

Happy is happy.

If. .

We let it be.

Right John, Paul, George, Ringo?

And if you can't be, with the one you love... love the one you're with... unless, ya done said them 'I do's'. We all understand what makes grass greener.

By Henry Gibson

Love, Victurd

All we are is dust on the Ouiji Board

Oh crap, here we go..

M (forever after known as me, I, Victurd)

O (aka, Ouiji)

M:  Morning

O: Good morning

M: WHATS SO GOOD ABOUT IT?  Oh, sorry... the present mood of the United (kinda) States is rubbing off on me.. apologies.

O: All good.

M: Speakin'a good, March weather?  Good or bad?

O: Yes.

M: Hey, can I ask, this present vitriol, mood... will bipartisanship, "hey, let's have a picnic...enjoy some needed comeraderie" ever happen?

O: Ahm.. is this your first rodeo (seance)?

M: Ha! OK, I'll stop with the political crap. 

O: Good, I'm board.

M: Can you tell me... let's see, what can I ask... ahm, can you tell me 5 things you accomplished this past week?

O: 1, scared the crap outta two (snotnose) teenagers.. 2, helped a family of farmers with weather forecast. 3, Sharpened my chainsaw.. 4, Installed a solar panel that enables me to automatically send an electrical shock to whomever is holding that planchette thing (the one you're holding now).

M: That's only 4?!!.... OUCH! OK OK, I GET IT.   

M: OK, I'll switch to Sports.  Mahomes. The G.O.A.T. or, the goat?

O: Baaaaa'd question. Ask Jake. Or Andy. Or Brittany. Or Eagles fans.

M: Will I ever again be able to afford a dozen eggs or a pound of ground beef?

O:  (accessing your SS rate of pay)... No.

M: Damnit darnit. Will I ever break par?

O: Your occupation on your W2 lists 'golf clubhouse attendant', scratch that, enter comedian.

M: Are you always this grumpy? OUCH!!!! DAMNIT DARNIT!

O: The mood rubs off on us all, sorry.

M: Do you answer these questions sincerely, truthfully?

O: What can I say, you move me.

M: Are you male or female?

O: Yes.

M: Which bathroom do you use then?  OUCH!!!!

M: I need a new hip, but I'm chicken. Recommendations?

O: Don't get the flu.

M: The Royals. Things are looking up!

O: Those Brits will be fine, always have been, always will be. Chip chip cheerio.

M: NO!  I mean our Baseball team!  OUCH!  WILL YOU PUT THAT DAMN THING AWAY?

O: Dodgers, Yankees, much bigger SS checks. You, no eggs, ground beef, no (World Series) soup for you.

M: Advice for me?

O; Take Sominex tonight, stay off Facebook after your 2nd Miller Lite, get a dog (or cat) - I read your mind, you were gonna ask about "Will I ever find Love again? Don't fly Delta.

M: Wow.. ok.  Ahm.. Where do you see me in 4 years. 

O: To everything,  urn, urn, urn. I'm kidding Victor. May I ask you a question?

M: Sure, but you gotta move my hands.

O: OK. You, TMI a lot here. Why?

M: Good question. In public (my closest buddies will dispute) I'm quiet. Here, yes, maybe talk too much.

O: Why?

M: A long time ago, I had apologized for something I'd written here. A good buddy wrote something to the effect of "It's OK, sometimes you write about things we too think, but fear expressing it." I know not always, but maybe sometimes?

O: Such as?

M:  I admittedly worry as I age about much. #1, aging in and of itself. Thus, I tend to get agitated a bit easier..  things like crudeness, aloofness, and yes dangit, political beliefs. Time is short, happy is, should be a goal, but sometimes that's hard.

O: Fair enough, and I understand. First, a baby lecture. Take care of yourself. Sleep. Exercise. Sure, have the scrumptious piece of pecan pie, that thirst quenching beer, but, moderation.

M: OK, What else?

O: We are all different, of course politically. Stand for your beliefs, but not to the point of a stroke or a broken friendship, ruined day...

M: And?

O: There is never perfection. Everyone has bad days, moments... we can't begin to understand what's going on in everyone's life.  Don't try to, and let that be.

M: I have heard that controlling word a time or seven.

O: Exactly. Take on only that you can control.

M: I gotta pee. Gets harder to control the 'when' as I age. Don't shock me.

O: K.

M: Back.

O: Life is good, if, we allow it to be.

M: You ain't sucha... bad... whatever you are.

O: Oui, G.  Appreciated.  You ain't a bad dude either, but don't let any aloofness out.

M: Ha. Hope you haven't been bored.

O: Board, never bored.

O: One request?

M: Sure, name it.

O: Don't put me back in that damn box again. I've been in there since you were 15, I could use some fresh air.

M: Done deal, just don't shock me... OUCH!!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

O: Don't forget to include humor in your every day.

A planchette dear friends you are about to receive on John Barleycorn (Miller Lite)  nicotine (STOP SMOKING) and the temptations of Eve. Get a dog, or cat.

Love, Victurd

"IT'S ALIVE!"...

The weather outside... ain't delightful, but we're getting there. If it were a car, we just crossed over into Oklahoma, bound for Texas.

Kids are in school. WHAT?  Uh huh, are. They're having an assembly today to celebrate the combined New Year's Day, Ground Hog's Day, MLK Day, Valentine's Day, George Birthington's Wash Day, and, to review locker combinations..

Local news got some seed store owner guy outta bed at 4:30am to learn us how to grow plants from seed.

WallyWorld assuredly has green crap allover to guide us to St. Patty's Day.... and, to the tune of "Really,  this is our last concert forever" geezer bands across the land are out there... in prominance today, we can just hear Sonny and Whatshername's And The Beat Goes On in the background.

Has beens, never was's but wanna be's, as well as "Of course I'm a millionaire" (Feed me Seymour) gather in the two 'Raisin States' for the annual "Play Ball" soon, Spring training.

Baby robins tug on the tail feathers of mommy/daddy robins, inquire "Can we go now, huh, can we can we?"

Weathermen and women everywhere re-up their antianxiety meds in preparation for tornado season, and, ice fishermen and women, stow their poles, axes, in preparation for their change of clothes into storm chasers.

Jack (with yet another All Conference patch for his letter jacket) and Diane (fresh pair of Bobbie Brooks from The Dollar General) jumpstart his dead battery car so they can attend the annual opening of the Tastee Freez.

Hank, lists his $600 snowblower (used 7 times in 3 years) on the local Facebook Swap & Shop for fitty dollars,  so he'll have a down payment on a new tiller.

Spring cleaning abounds across the land, leading us "whatinthehell then did we do this past Winter?"

Soon, we'll Spring forward our clocks an hour (Cool! The clock on my 2002 Buick Century will once again be right!). Neighbors get out.. "Oh yeah... I recognize him, her."

Just as the swallows are set to return to San Juan Capistrano, we're moved to change from our New Year's evercise resolution we stopped January 12th (have been swallowing any, everything in sight since) to our Plan B three miles a day walking program...but, I'll start once the clocks change.

What the heck is a Maypole, but, count me in as I see it includes "dancing, drinking and festivals."

Foster Brooks, Otis of Mayberry, and Earth, tilt toward the sun.

Non Avian Flu chicks are born across the land... snakes wiggle outta holes but they're still a tad slow, you can outrun em, and, it's time to buy bear spray.

Snotnoses everywhere (yes, those now accomplished in Roblox, Minecraft and Fortnite from their 'virtual school' days) begin the countdown to School's Out For The Summer.

Those of us in the daily (Monday thru Friday) Geezer Golf Scrambles got our first group text, a sure rite of Spring. I've faithfully watched hunnerds of YouTube golf instruction videos this Winter, so it's certain my bogey golf goal will prolly move to bogey plus a couple strokes. Don't care, just good,  blessed to be out there.

Bottom line, it's an uplifting time of year.  

I wish good health, happiness and sunny days as we March toward the Equinox thing.

Love, Victurd

Virtual learning...

Wait a minute.  I'd like to explain something. You know, I ain't punchy. I got what you call, like, I don't know, a relaxed brain, but I ain't punchy. It's just the way I talk (write) here.

Yo Adrian?  If per chance this blogger decides to transfer this post to Facebook.... and it comes up in Memories some 6 years later, how are we gonna tap into his (relaxed) brain to ascertain just what in the wide wide world of sports he's referring to?

Well, school.... or not.

Huh?

Yeah it's been... what's the opposite of chirpy?  Yucky?  Dreary?  Brrrrrrr? I'm dreaming of a white February?  Netflix and wind chill?

Yes, to all of the above.

I can now alphabetically recite the 273 school districts within the KC channel 9 viewing area.

Well there ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe.

So, I, a kajillion other (grumpy?) old farts have taken an affinity to napping,  uh huh, often.

I mean (I really don't like sentences that begin with 'I mean')... I mean.... an example might be.. you get up, shower, layer up and s'more layers...go start the car, spend 36 minutes warming it up, sweeping snow off, scraping a halfa inch'a ice underneath it... you're ready to roll... then...

Oh crap, I forgot to let the dog out to pee. He don't wanna (can you blame him? The real feel is -16).  So, ya grab leash, pull the little basta to the nearest tree... tears, sweat are now icesickles..  he runs back in, finally, back to car. Except...

In all that time there's now another inch and a halfa snow on the car (quarter inch'a ice under that)...so...

You say "to heck with it"..  you say that, I say "to hell with it", so...

You take a nap.

Sleep, rinse, repeat.

You awaken, it's now 1:37am, you're wide awake. You give in, head to make coffee. Fido thinks mebbe you're gonna put the leash on him so he goes, hides under the back bedroom bed.

Bosses all around field call after call of "Hey Frank, it's Shirley...are you OK if I work from home again? Timmy and Tina ain't got school again and Ian's daycare is closed cause they ain't got sufficient staffing to open." Can ya blame em? Risk a $2700 fender on a minimum wage job?

So, Frank, and literal scads of other area bosses give in.  Shirley stays home, logs in, puts on noise canceling headphones because Timmy keeps hollerin' "My feet hurt!" Really can't blame him, they've grown two sizes since he last went to school.

"Weather Impact Day"s have replaced the now ever  boring "Breaking News" graphics, catchphrase of local news. 

Geezers (Remember? They are up and at em, making coffee at 1:37am).. first cup poured, infronta em (along with six cookies) collapse in the recliner and watch....

12 personal injury ads, interspersed with ads for Proactiv, Bowflex, Ginsu Steak Knives.. flip channel, watch The Andy Griffith Show... Hoss, Ben, Little Joe... and just when the local news comes on...

The eyelids close. 

Eh, mebbe not a bad thing, chirpy weather folks relating more of the same... "stay home unless you absolutely have to get out", airline tragedies, long lines all about the nation at unemployment offices.. the Dodgers signing another hunnerd and ninety million dollar player, and locally on sports....

"Chiefs gonna lose a lot of players (can't afford), Reid, Veach undaunted (fancy for prepare for 6-11.)

VICTOR?!!!!

Huh?

Is it REALLY that bad?

Nah... except for when that one guy sends pics of his feet and a Pina Colada by the pool in Mehico...

Wait a minute, it's stopped snowing

Schools are opening, busses going

Playing baseball in Arizona, gee that's bettah

Muddah, Faddah kindly disregard this lettah

Saturday 38!  SUNDAY FITTY! Monday 58, Tuesday 59!!!!!!

There ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe.

I think we all (ok dangit, most) here admit to occasional Winter Depression (SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder)... happens... annually... this one lengthy.. (Victor? Don't you remember last January, like 17 straight days of sub zero weather?)

No, cause I was that ass sending poolside Pina Colada pics from Mehico.

We needs serotonin and melatonin... which, we get from the sun.

Richie might sing:

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's alright

Little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's alright...

Gotta run..  trying out my shipment of Power Swabs to whiten ma' teeth.

Forward by Billy Mays, Ron Popeil, and Mike (Mike's got this)

Love, Victurd

"Fun" fact: School has been out for 41 of the past 61 days! 😲

(It's no one's fault, but realizing made me feel less crazy.)

How are the roads?

How am I supposed to know, you just took me outta the nursery at the hospital (Remember? Where they had me wrapped up like a burrito?)

Now, I'm ratcheted in this  carseat, I can't see where we're going cause I'm turned the wrong dang way, besides, I can't even talk yet.

Sun, as in a few trips around.

Bobby hit me..  I've gotta pee.. are we there yet, are we there yet?

Now that you're 6, how are the roads?

Jimmy's mom's car has bigger screens in the backseat. Are we poor?  Bobby took my dollar, what are ya gonna do about it? My tummy hurts, I don't wanna go to school.

12.  Roads are clear, perfect. Hey dad, thanks for agreeing to drive our entire soccer team home!  (Dad's a tad stressy from the noise... 15 minutes in, another hour to home.)  Can they spend the night? NO!, er, I mean not tonight son. Well.. ok, but can you get us Happy Meals? Please oh please dad?

14. Honey?  Why are you ducking down?  Because I don't wanna be seen with you guys!  I see, but, the kids with no parents, do they duck down?  Everyone has parents mom.  Oh, I see.

Fitteen, paper driving permit in hand, dad, front seat, passenger side, foot ready to 'brake.'  "Our Father, who art in Heaven..."

21. DD, but someone has to do it. Jenny, I know you love me, you've told me 27 times on the way home. See if you can wakeup Johnny, we're almost home.

28.  Yes, I know Junior is strapped in back there, I've not even come close to the speed limit.  (In spite of having driven now for 13 years, I am so thankful for all the instructions, suggestions, mandates, 2nd brakes compliments of my wife.  Victor, are you being facetious? I would never do that!  MISOGYNIST!  AM NOT!

40. I'm so excited (I just can't hide it) to spend the weekend with Bobby and his wife at the Lake.  But, didn't he torture you growing up?  Yes (ha ha) but we were just kids.

Fitty. Junior's wedding day. Please hurry, we can't be late. Hey, there's a Lotta traffic and... you always tell me to slow down.  MISO....AM NOT.

Still fitty, but father now 79. Knock on his door. Ahm, Mr. Schultze, I don't think you were aware, but you scraped Agnes Murray's car leaving the Post Office. Gulp.

The next week. Winona? (Father's gf) You seen my car keys?  No... I'm sorry, I haven't. (I could kiss her, she took them, I didn't have to.)

65. Take this job and shove it, I ain't driving here no more.

66. Frank? You just bumped into the garage door with the RV. My bad, I'll be more careful when we drive to Montana.

72.... 2:15am this morning. 3" of fallen snow, no cause for alarm, wind chill -25.  Sonnyboy, FedEx has brutal starting times.  You mind taking the broom out, warm up the car, sweep the snow off?  Sure dad. And he said to himself, "I sure wish that kid had his driver's license. "

At 2:17am, City snow plow drivers were still sleeping, State Highways, one lane swiped, hard to see lines, but, it's always hard to see lines at 72.

Soon, back FedEx to pu son. Two lanes clear now per TV dudes driving around in it.

One of these days I'll get to the post office to mail that letter.

That's fancy for, WATCHOUT FOLKS,  HE AINT GOTS NO GF TO HIDE HIS KEYS!

Happy day, drive safe,

Love, Victurd

Romper, stomper, bomper boo

Magic mirror... I see you!

Roll call....

Albert?  "Hey hey hey!"

Archie? "Yeah, here.. don't draw me no diaphragms."..

Astro?  "Ruh roh.."

Bernie?

Bernie?  I think he stiffed us.

Bevis?  "Heh-heh."

Buehler?   Buehler?

Donald?  "YOU'RE FIRED!"

Emeril?   "BAM!"

Fonzie?  "Aaaaay!"

Geraldine?  "What you see is what you get"... ahm, nvmnd, we can't use h... anymore.

Homer?  "Do'h!  The boy did it!"

James?  "Bond... James Bond."

Johnny?  "Come on down!"

John McClane? "Yippee Ki Yay...."  OK! Thank you

Lurch?  "You rang?"

Paris?  "That's hot!"

Regis?  "Is that your final question?"

Walter?  "And that's the way it is."

Point being, characters. Most of those are familiar.  We don't need no "Extra, extra, read all about it."

Real life, even with a scorecard... ya just never know...

Mosta the above, we've visited their households, kinda sorta.

The guy (or gal) you're right behind in line at the Piggly... searching deep into their pocket/purse to come up with correct change to pay... we're in a hurry, grow impatient... very well could be social anxiety disorder and this is ten times as tough on them than it is on us.

The one we held the door for.. we gotta nod insteada "thanks"... Just lost their mom... maybe diagnosed with lymphoma.. 3rd week of sobriety... fighting demons head on.

The mom who surprised you when she frustratingly snapped at her 3 year old.. what we didn't notice was that her makeup covered the bruise from where her boyfriend knocked her to the ground last night..

The gent in the third pew at church, like clockwork, the First Sunday of the month proudly places his check of tithe in the collection basket. He never really talks, but that's because he'd heard his entire childhood how he'd never amount to anything.

He..  he just came from the assisted care facility where he spent two hours with his wife... who'd asked him two times "what was your name again?"

Her... the one who saw the infant in the carrier.. mixed smile with face of remorse... as she'd had a stillborn child 23 years ago.

People are amazing. The struggle is real and very definately more present than we'll ever know.

Victor, I hear you, but..  the part I don't get... the opening... the attempt at, association with, humor.

I do do... I do do probably try to influx humor (I know I know, attempted humor) too often in life.

That said, I think it's a fitting part to a recipe for life.  This is where I 'just my take', hopefully not preach.

Smiles. Hugs. Kindness (why not, ya just never know), Golden rule. Listening skills.  The ability (sometimes I suck at this) to NOT blurt, hurt.

I'm positive.... I think.. (That's the title to the book I'll never write.)

TV, movie characters we know, love, like a book.

Everyday people, perhaps not so much.

Outtards oft times don't match, nor explain, innards.

Oh, and drink more Ovaltine, right Ralphie.

Life can be a bitch... and will shoot your eye out if not approached, or at least attempted to approach, in kindness.

We fail (occasionally). Every. Last. One. Of. Us.

Human, interest.

May good fill your day,

Love, Victurd