Ain't sure about you, but, there's one website that always propagates when I worry about any number of medical growing old issues arising: (Am I dying or is it just a bellyache?) - and that's WebMD.com.
In basketball terms, they'd be First Team All American, 'cause they gots Doctors opines, studies, suggestions, etc., on their website. Wiki (doesn't wiki know everything?) says WebMD is one of the top healthcare websites, as they have the most 'unique users' (like, 127 million in the first quarter of 2020). Which, makes me wonder, who ain't unique? And, what's more, can you say "Unique New York" THREE TIMES, REAL FAST? Bet you can't.
Hop to it Victor.
I found an interesting article (ok, it's interesting to me) from their website entitled '14 things no one tells you about aging.'oor
"Lots of know-how." Well that one ain't gonna shock the world. True, we're pretty damn proud of ourselves. Article says "you're good at using what you've learned... it's called crystallized intelligence". (Heaven help us when the crystallized meth age group becomes old farts.)
"Mr. Nice Guy." SAY IT AIN'T SO. We've waited SO long to gripe, weather, government, whippersnappers, bursitis, poor eyesightus, can't hear, hold my teeth and watch this. Not true says WebDr, 'more agreeable...happier... less inclined to get angry." Hmmm..
"Better sex." Ahm (looking around) may be unique, but HELLO... crickets. The last time I heard my boxsprings was when them the moving guys helped me move my bed (and all my goods) from that one apartment to this'n. Article says sexual satisfaction gets better with age. In fact, "Women over 80 were more likely than those between 55 and 79 to say they were satisfied during sex." Criminy, I just turned 70, I gotta wait ten more years? I ain't sure I'll make it!
"What's that doing there?" (No, we've moved on from talking sex... you pervert.) They're talking hairs. The kind on the head thin, start to go, but, we men get these damn stray hairs on our ears and nose, and women get 'em on the chin. FYI WebMD writers - we knew that.
"Rise and shine." (Again, we've moved on from sex. I'm beginning to think you may have a problem.) Basically, we get sleepier earlier and thus, awaken earlier.
"Bye-bye migraines." Thankfully, never had 'em, but, posted this in case you do, thus, I hope this is good news for you and that it comes true.
"Don't quit your day job." "Early retirement may not be the best thing for your health. People who work hard at a job they enjoy tend to live the longest." Maybe because I was long ago a basketball coach, but I'm calling for a fullcourt press to announce "BS!" Years before I retired I'd tell kids "don't be like me.. put 10% away and never touch it so you can get the hell outta here at 65." I am no (financial, relationship, quitting smoking) expert now I tell kids "Put money away, don't touch it and get the hell out as early as you can (ie, prior to 65 if they ever get the damned healthcare thing ever worked out. Sure, this doesn't apply to all - but, countless times I've heard "I can't believe how much I used to worry and worry about work crap...and now that I've retired, I see how trivial that all is. Amen brother Ben, be like Snagglepuss, left, as soon as you can.
"Fear is not your friend." Worry about falls, broken bones, yada. Eh, true - but, I bet we take extra time in our movements so as not to fall, break bones.
"Self confidence." Webb dudes say it soars over a lifetime, but, uh oh, suddenly takes a dip after age 60. Due to, Webby say "Health issues.... needing a new sense of purpose..." 'Treatment' for that Webby say "healthier lifestyles and working to an older age" to which i reply "Take this job and...... and then hand me a Miller Lite please."
If you ain't asleep yet, I'm gonna add some goodies I found from other sites about aging.
Things I find I like about aging:
(Close your ears, printing just as it read) "I give zero fucks... used to party like a rockstar for fear of missing out, now, go to bed early, bought me some new fuzzy kicks, I don't give a crap if you like them. There's no peer pressure and that's so freeing."
"I'm not afraid to ask for what I want."
"I'm not afraid of saying no."
"I'm proud of what makes me different. Don't fit in, don't care. What makes me unique (there's that word again) makes me great."
"I realize my ability to make an impact on people's lives." I like this one, but, I too would add "Or not."
S'more plagiarized from another article on 'things I realize as I age':
Life is too short not to ask the guy/girl out.
Adults don't know what they're doing either.
Nothing in life is forever so take it slow.
Remember to thank people.
You can't earn somones love nor should you have to.
Absolutely take that extra trip to see your family.
Whether you believe it or not, people care about you.
Always listen to your gut. Some aren't to be trusted.(If you wanna expedite that process, get a dog, see how they behave when someone new comes into the house/picture!)
Learn to accept change and just go with it. "Remember, when the music changes (and it will) don't stop dancing."
Hope there was a tad bit of enjoyment from this... I'm going to put my med-alert thing on, take my 8 pills for the day, drink a Boost, put that salve on my itchy itchy rash, take a nap, then, try to decipher how many more days it is until I turn 80.... and then, depends. (get outta town, I did NOT capitalize depends.)
Love, Victurd
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