70

How old are you? Me? 70.

When I was born, FDR, A.A. Milne and Virginia Wolf were 70. I was too young to know anything.

When I was 10, Oliver Hardy, J. Paul Getty, Mary Pickford, Basil Rathbone and Pearl Buck were 70.  I think we probably rudely ingored them. All they did was sit in lawn chairs at ballgames, took naps and most assuredly never had sex, whatever that was.

When I was 20, Ray Kroc, Aunt Bea, Bobby Jones, Granny (Beverly Hillbillies) and Larry Fine were 70. I thought 70 year olds leaned a little bit, had a lifetime of sun, stood in the dugout leaning on the rail and spat tabacky.

When I was 30, Gene Kelly, Julia Child, Perry Como, Danny Thomas, Lady Bird, Karl Malden and Tonto were 70. I enjoyed 70 year olds then, quite a few years for them to have grown on me.

When I was 40, Betty White, Doris Day, Redd Foxx, Jack Klugman, Carl Reiner, Bea Arthur and Norman Lear were 70. 70 year olds were brilliant, our friend's parents, our schoolteachers, anyone who'd been on Carson a dozen or more times.

When I was 50, Johnny Cash, Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Dawson, Roy Scheider, Petula Clark, Debbie Reynolds and Omar Sharif were 70. Legends. Still able  to get big roles. The first group of 70 yr olds too young to serve in WWII. Admired them, their worth.

When I was 60, Aretha Franklin, Barbra Streisand, Harrison Ford, Carole King, Paul McCartney and Brian Wilson were 70. Again, admired, hell, in some cases they were our mad crush. They stood up to age well. Perhaps our classmates older siblings.

Now I'm 70, all I see are younger people. I hop on the motorzed cart at WallyWorld, turn left at the Pharmacy, right at toys and by gosh I ain't takin' my foot off the gas until I see someone older than me! Excuse me ma'am, what year did you graduate? jk.

Our friends, of course, are 70. We take frequent naps, and we remember sex. Now, if we watch TV or catch a Netflix episode and we have a crush, we're "creepy." OK, I give in, no more crushes,  push ups, laps run, jumping jacks, and we should probably stay away from spicy foods, or at least be near the bathroom if we do. 

There ain't no more library cards, cars that still run that had 8 track players. The hell is USB, that funny looking Q-something square we're supposed to scan, WHAT? You DON'T take CASH? The hell, I WANT MY MOMMY!

We lean a little now, closer to (VICTOR SHHH!)...OK. 

There are less of us. Yearly, monthly and even weekly of late. That rapidity will escalate from here on out.

Sure, that's sad, but I kinda like how, over the years, the more and more 70 yr olds became revered. Adored even. Admired. Why hell, we can puff our chests out, gals put on your greatest support bra, guys, pull yer bellies in if possible.

The ride ain't over. Oft we are asked wouldya do it all over, if so, what wouldya do different?

I wouldn't wanna do it all over. Oh sure, mistakes I've made a few                 thousand.

What I would do is not be in such a hurry to be old enough to play little league...drive....vote....be 21.... run thru the molasses of Monday thru Friday...age 65...

I'd go slower. Aside from getting me used to '70 slow', I'da paid more attention. Hugged a little tighter, longer...................and chased all them damn crushes when it wasn't creepy!

Love, Victurd