Dress in layers. If you get too hot, you can take a layer off.
If one looks in the full length mirror naked, good gosh Gerty, put layers on until it's all covered.
Things that will happen when you are broke two weeks before your Uncle Sam check:
You are on the last roll of toilet paper. You need a haircut, badly. You get to your Doctor's appointment and Receptionist Ratched will look up, smile, then announce "You still owe a $20 copay from your last visit." The gas gauge will be on E. You live in an apartment, ain't gotta washer and dryer and you just put on your last pair of clean undies. (To be continued)
So, three loads to do... $3.75 per, $11.25 total (thank goodness for FREE dryers at the laundromat!). You have 2 fives in your wallet. An all apartment, junk drawer, bluejean pocket search yields 6 quarters, AHA, "an extra quarter 'cause I always lose one/count wrong." All happy, you pull in, tote your overflowing clothesbasket to the machines, load three of 'em, convert the $5's to quarters. Walking back to the washer, you realize, when you walked in you dropped a pair bright green (dirty) undies next to a mom and her three giggling children. (To be continued)
You pickup the undies, walk to the washer and you realize they've raised the washer rate from $3.75 to $4.50. You, under your breath, cuss the owner, the avian flu and the sitting President. You manage to finish.
You live by The Square. there is an event going on there, it's "Wine about Winter", overflowing with drunken rookies. You make it home, kinda. You finally find a parking spot 'near Kearney', some two and a half blocks from your front door. After taking two breaks on the walk home, you're ready for a nap. It's cold out, so you Whine about Winter.
You awaken, your breath frightens you. You find you done rolled the toothpaste tube up so much there ain't nuthin' gonna squirt outta there. Coffee. Need coffee. There's one scoop left (3 for a full pot), and of course, the last coffee filter. You cuss Folgers, Maxwell House and ground beef. After a self discussion you decide "Eh, I'll go to the store and wait to get a haircut after payday in two weeks." You make a grocery list, head to store. (To be continued)
Music is cranked, you grab a cig, "Crap, my last one and the carton is empty." What a perfect time to quit! To which I reply, "Did you just get here blogreader?"
Pull into Piggly Wiggly. No list to be found. DANGIT! Drive back home, list right where I left it. Back to Piggly. Incoming text "Can I borrow 40 bucks?" You laugh, then take delight in finding a front row parking place! As you pull in, the Check Engine Light comes on. You cuss Nixon, War, Classified documents, constipation, the $1.25 Dollar Tree, the PE teacher that made you do 500 sit ups, the $29.99 guy, and you end it with "Mike ain't got sh*t." All better now.
OK, I josh, somewhat. It does kinda seem though, when one is overextended, you also happen to be out of about everything.
To get to old age, you don't need GPS, you simply need to be blessed. Yes, we're set in our ways, but ain't it spiffy to still have ways to sit in?
I love you and I thank you for stopping by.
Love, Victurd
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