It's getting hot in here...........

WOAH Nelly!  I've 'heard' very small bits and pieces (Remember the Dave Clark 5?  I'm in pieces, bits and pieces.. )  Where was I?  Oh yeah, Nelly.  I think frankly all I remember about that Nelly song is the melodic Chorus...  Now, I briefly perused the resta the lyrics, and that ain't what this is about.

I have a friend.. (Hard to believe Victor)... Ha ha, funny.  She HATES hot weather... Loves anything Halloween... Tacos... COLD WEATHER and SNOW.  Patooey. The pic is the meme she posted yesterday. Recently I suggested she getta U-Haul and move to Salem, MA... colder... haunted, Halloweenie-like, perfect.  Surely there's a Taco Bell too.

The female anchor on "The ABC World News Now" hails from our fair city... Are you talking Kansas City, home of THE Kansas City Royals Victor?   Never heard of 'em... Say, you seen Monarchs play?  I'm talking Kansas City, home of The Kansas City CHIEFS! (Oh say can you see, hear, just as the Stealth Bombers fly over Arrowhead, GEHA, whatever it's called.)

Where was I?  Victor, you were talking about a lady on World News Now from KC.. that show starts at 3AM, the hell? Relax sonny, 3am for us old geezers is the 'new, 6am'... When you go to bed at 8pm, 3am is what happens.

So......... She (the female anchor on the 3am World News Now) was talking about leaving today to go home (Kansas City CHIEFS) to visit family.  "I picked the hottest time of the year to go home."  The guy anchor then correctly added, "You could put on a blindfold and point to justabout any place on the map now, and, HOT."

True, Vely twue.  It's so hot.. (Tell us Johnny Carson, HOW HOT IS IT?)  It's so hot, even Mitch McDonnell was speechless.  VICTOR, that ain't funny.  Eh, well, tit for tat about that.

Let's ask Johnny... you mean Karmack?  NO.  Cash.  He's been everywhere.  Johnny, how hot is it?

I've been to Reno (92), Chicago (86), Fargo (88), Minnesota (95)
Buffalo (82), Toronto (95), Winslow (100), Sarasota (92)
Wichita (103), Tulsa (103), Ottawa (84), Oklahoma (101)
Tampa (91), Panama (87), Mattawa (84), La Paloma (93)
Bangor (78, brrrr), Baltimore (100), Salvador (95), Amarillo (100)
Tocapillo (68? In Tocapillo 'Chilly'? Hell, maybe that chick could move there), Baranquilla (90), and Perdilla (102),.

Point is, except for 'Chilly', it's hot everywhere (Johnny has been).  Victor?  Yes?  Did you actually look each one of those up?  Uh huh, on my phone, then typed 'em on my laptop. You need a job.  Bite me, it's now 4:29am, I go to work in 2 hrs and 31 minutes.  Bored, we old people are bored. (And hot. Well, not that kinda hot, we're temperature hot.)

Backtrack 60 years or so, we, the little turds of Liberty, MO, would delight in this weather, ride our bikes (baseball glove on the handle bars) to the City Park for hours - I'm talking HOURS of Indian Ball. The hell is Indian Ball?  Let's just call it an abbreviation of real baseball when ya ain't got enough kids for nine on each team.  Anyways, we'd play for hours (diving into the dust for a hot shot down the line... that dust would just cake up on your dry lips.. ).. take periodic breaks at the water fountain... and then play s'more... all the while, having enough energy to ride our bikes home over the big ole hills of Liberty, MO.  HOT.  It was HOT.  We loved it.

Now, we're back to July 27, 2023.... well, actually yesterday, July 26, I walked out the door... one word came to mind. OPPRESSIVE. Ya ever, as a punk kid who didn't know any better, ya ever take the radiator cap off when the car had been driven, was hot?  Uh huh, me too. That damn steam hitsya in the face.. that... that's what it felt like yesterday.  It was a hunnerd.  Today is sposedta be 101. ("Heat index 110".. 'feels like') WHY?  Why do that add that crap?

WOAH NELLY (and that Halloween, Taco, Cold Weather loving friend of mine..) I admit. It's hot. I couldn't, wouldn't get on a bike.  I lost my last ballglove some ten years ago. None of us play Indian Ball anymore.  It's golf now.  No, nuh uh, not just no's, hells no.. NOT today. Or tomorrow.  It's getting hot in here.

I ain't bitchin. I'm just hiding.  In here. In the AC. And with a cheapy little $6 WallyWord fan that actually has a USB kinda plug, hooked up to my laptop, blowing right on my face.

It's gotten hot in here.  I ain't bitchin. I'm just doing what any of us old geriatric farts would do. Stay (Inside) just a little bit longer.  Right Jackson?  Johnny?  Nelly?  Henry?  Victor, whointhehell is Henry?

By Henry Gibson

Love, Victurd