You there... Mr. Twenty Year Old, listen up, ya hear? Thank goodness nowadays you got all those stupid (fun?) filters when you take pics... thus, you can see yourself age. We old farts had no vision of ourselves aging other that what makeup mom, dad helped us with when we trick or treated as old bums, old ladies... Most of us, us geezers, no thinky about aging... we realize it's hard being 20 something, 30 something to come to the realization of being lucky enough to be fitty, 60, 70, etc. Them filters hopefully helpya.
Ya wanna live long? Grab a chair, have a seat 'cause I'm about to reveal years and years and years (15 minutes) of my studies on aging.
Get a dog. Dog owners live longer. Get married (VICTOR! DID YOU SAY THAT?). .gulp, yes, proven, married folks live a tad longer than nonmarrieds. Play golf. Hey, not my suggestion, a Swedish study indicated hackers (golf, not computer) have a 40% lower mortality rate, thus, potentially adding 5 years to your life.)
Move to Japan. They gots the longest life expectancy. If that funny looking writing and eating with chopsticks frightens you, then move to Hawaii... Folks there, hula, get lei's, are kind (Mahalo sir), and, live longer than anywhere else in the States.
If you happen to be female, goody for you, as, women in over 195 different countries, outlive men. Quilt. Tis said to lower heart rate, improve eye hand, sense of accomplishment, purpose, stress relief, reduces loss of brain function... "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we practice to decieve." Sir Walter Scott, 1808.
Psychologists, medical folks, nosy writers everywhere, have asked people over a hunnerd, "how you able to do that?" Big rangea answers... "Kindness." "Marriage" (dangit, whoop there it is, again). Not having kids (HEY, I don't make 'em up, I just report), "Connecting with nature",. "Avoiding men" (Eh, so what, we'll be golfing).. Smoking 30 cigs a day (again, I report, one centenarian said it.) Don't smoke. Whiskey. Abstain from alcohol.
Oh, and have a sense of humor, hear? One 15 year study indicated women, in particular, with a sense of humor, have a 48% less risk of death from all causes. Men are a lower percent, but still, higher if you're ok with, demonstrate, funny-ha-ha. Grow up in a humorless environment? Not to worry, young folks can learn to embrace the absurdity of life at any age.
Hope ya did the Scout thing. One, it gotya outta mom, dad's hair (hope ya did the long camp in Summer too). Two, it's proven Scouts tend to be in better health at age 50 thanks in part to due to learning square knots, two half-hitches, taut-line hitch...wait, no, that ain't it... it's due to "Being prepared."
Now Sonny, we're gonna talk buckaroos. As in, put some away every month, no touchy until you are a raisin. (Scroll to sense of humor). "But... I don't get an allowance any more." Well, then it is suggested you get offa your watoosie, get a job, an apartment, before your folks one day learn you about 'the magic of compound fracture.'
If you put fttty dollars a week away, no touchy until you are retirement age, with historical average annual interest, you should have of $750,000+. Again, first, ya gotta get a McJob, get outta their basement, get a dog, eventually get married, maybe move to Hawaii, be kind, have a sense of humor, golf, be prepared, that stuff.
Who wants to be a millionaire? (Victor, you did that one yesterday too.) Sorry, kinda. Sonny, should you put a hunnerd smackers a week away, no touchy, no divorcee, be kind, pet hound, McJob, by retirement age you will have ONE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTEEN THOUSAND, THIRTY EIGHT DOLLARS. ATTENTION! ABOUT FACE, go, run, Indeed, LinkedIn, Resume', get job, start. Ya hear?
I would be remiss, you see, if we have a blog where we don't at least mention once, poop or pee. Sorry, kinda. I tried to hold it in, leaked.
Cost of living. Let's take TP for example. Fitty cents (or more) a roll. Average human uses 3 rolls a week. Approximately 375 panels. That's, on average, fitty panels per constitution. That's $187.fitty a year. Or, $1443.37 total by the time you retire, and by then, you prolly won't need as much cause sometimes (I've heard anyways) old folks no makey it before they go.
My suggestion. Only use 25 panels per 'sitting'. (VICTOR, you left out the 'h') Uh huh, on purpose. Use less (25 panels vs 50), invest the rest, you will have AN ADDITIONAL $28,301 by the time you retire. This suggestion was taken verbatim from the Larry The Cable Guy/Dave Ramsey financial newsletter.
This was a bad idea, sorry, kinda. Pun mebbe intended, I'm wiped out, going for nap.
Maholo,
Love, Victurd
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