By Henry Gibson and Don Williams........

I don't believe in self drive cars

Kale as food and foreign wars
I don't believe the price of beef
The certainty of an old age chief
That right is right and left is wrong
That Pubs and Dems can't get along
That QR Codes have passed the test
And trophies for all, it ain't best

But I believe in love
I believe in babies
I believe in mom and dad
And I believe in you                                                                                

Well I don't believe that most folks wait
For self check lines they ain't too great
And if I'm caught in puppy love
Gimme a push, a gentle shove

St. Nick's watching people everywhere
He knows who's nice and who don't care
And I'm a grumpy old man
Oft times alone is where I am

But I believe in love
I believe in Classic Rock
I believe in Santa
And I believe in you

I know with all my certainty
That very soon, I'll have to pee
It's a good thing too
On time to the loo

I don't believe humility
Is as common as it used to be
And working retired gives me the frights
That black is black and white is white
That Hof and Amelia are still around
Somewhere out there chowin' down
That toilet papers in short supply
The rising cost of double ply

But I believe in love
I believe in old farts
I believe dogs and cats
They both have hearts

I believe in love
I believe in babies
I believe in mom and dad
And I believe in you