Bugs me... Monday, my fellow 'mericans, driving home from work (cept for them there in Arizona and Hawaii) will have trouble seeing white lines. Uh huh, dark-thirty.
As a Senior Citizen (STAY OFFA MY LAWN) I must say, I have e'nuff trouble knowing if it's Tuesday or Friday, thenya spring that dark crap on me?
Victor, were you aware the Chief's game Sunday is at 8:30? Hey, that's cool.. A game under the lights, I love night games. Ahm, no. It's 8:30 in the morning. WHAT? Uh huh, and it coincides with Daylight Savings ending. Ok, so... you're saying at 2:00am Sunday it'll really be 1:00am Sunday? What if I oversleep and don't wakeup until halftime? Jane, you ignorant slut, you are ALWAYS awake at 4am. Oh yeah, guess I am.
Friggin Germans. HUH? Victor, ahm, Schultze? Isn't there a bit of German in YOU? Yeah, I reckon. But I done Wiki'ed it, the Germans are the ones that STARTED Daylight Savings time.. yeah? Yeah, in 1916, then, a couple years later, us 'mericans did it.
Bugs me. Victor? Yes? Why do you keep saying 'Bugs me"? George Hudson, that's why. Whointhehell is George Hudson? German? No... he's from New Zealand. He was an entomologist. (BRB, looking that one up.) A person who is an expert in the branch of zoology concerned with insects.
Ahm, tea/China... the hell does an insect expert have to do with Daylight Savings? It was HIS idea. Yes, in the 19th Century! He proposed it to, he "said" conserve energy and extend Summer daylight hours. But... but I really think it was so he could have more daylight to collect insects. Sounds sdrawkcabssa to me, hell. you wanna collect insects? Go outside at dark-thirty, turn the porch light on, they'll come to you.
I always heard it was started so the kids didn't have to go outside in the dark and wait for the school bus. I done Wiki'ed that too and we didn't even HAVE school busses in 1918. (Speakinowhich, is there, er, are there TWO S's in school buSSes? Actually, Victor, that's 3 S's. OK Mr. Knowitall, then how come there ain't FOUR O's in ZOO-OLOGY?
Let's do a "what if"? OK Victor, what if? What if you's havin' twins, and you wanted to name 'em Skip and Scoot. Victor, why would you name twins Skip and Scoot? Hey, I have a friend that had two sons, Skip and Scoot. He was actually a football coach at the time, and I think he envisioned them in the same backfield, you know, Skip, and Scoot. OK Victor, back to what if.....
What if Skip was born this coming Sunday at 1:50am.... yeah.. and?.. And then Scoot was born at 2:01am, which would then really be 1:01am, so he'd skip Skip and actually be the older one, right? Bugs me. Yeah, me too Victor.
All this Daylight Savings crap reminds me of Social Security. I'm halfway afraid to ask...Social Security? Yeah, if you're early 60's, listen up. Were you aware that, say, when you turn 65, there's a one month waiting period before you get your first Social Security check? So, do you mean then, you get that month's pay when Daylight Savings ends? Ahm, NO. So when do you get that month of pay back? Uh huh, what I'm talking about. And you think skippin' Skip was wrong, I think Uncle Sam just scooted that one right past us. I wonder if Scoot would get his check on the 2nd Wednesday and Skip his on the 3rd Wednesday? I'm confused. Me too, I even bet Dave Wottle would be too.
Pun mebbe intended Victor, but look at the 'bright side'. Huh? Yeah, It's gonna be light when you go out and get the paper. I call BS, I don't like to get dressed to go out and get the paper, I go out in my undies cause it's dark, no one sees me anyways. OK, then you can go for a jog and not worry about getting hit by a car and having to wear onea them Oregon Ducklike colored vests. Ahm, like, be for real. Me? Jog?
OK then Victor, maybe you could go to Hy Vee for breakfast and you wouldn't hit a damn pole with your car because it'll be daylight. Smartass. I think I'm going to skip the resta this conversation and scoot back to bed for a nap. It's 6:00am, that's a good time for a nap.
Yes Victor, it's 6:00am here, but were you aware when it's 6am here, that it's 4:30pm in New Delhi, India? Aye yai yai. It's twue, it's twue, it's reawwy twue! They're halfway between two meridians, so, they decided to be 30 minutes between each. OK, lemme see if I got this right. If Skip and Scoot both started at, let's call it 'the left meridian', and ran to New Dehli, and Dave Wottle started at the 'right meridian' and they all raced to New Dehli, who'd win? Would you need, ahm, three stopwatches? Tea/China... do they even have Daylight Savings in India? Social Security? Football? And whatinthehell does Dave Wottle have to do with anything? (Eh, you know, Fall back, Spring forward, that stuff.)
Screw this, I'm going for a beer. Victor, you can't. Huh? Yep, Blue law, you won't be able to get a beer until..... I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT. I'm gonna go take my pills and go back to bed. Hey, can you tell me what day it is?
Where's Waldo? Don't ask me, it's dark out. Good, I'm going to get the newspaper then.
Love, Victurd
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