One of my alltime favorite videos... a kid's relay race... 6 year olds... moms, dads a hollerin'... Boom, and they're off! Runnin' like the wind, baton in hand...older, younger siblings kinda running around the track along side 'em to root, cheer 'em on...
First two 'legs' (handoffs) done nicely. Next two eager in anticipation of their turn... eyes wide open, arms extended awaiting the baton. Finally, the first hand-off person arrives.. little man grabs baton, gets off smooth.. headed on around the oval.. next kiddo... well... a tad of confusion set in, handoff went well, but, he ran in the opposite direction! Chased by screaming old folks! Finally corralled after a hunnerd yards or so, turned around. My heart!
Kid, that's kinda how I feel about Black Friday. NO. As in no thanks. Not no's but hells no's... I ain't going. Screw that Mr. Custer.. Me and Snagglepuss, exit, stage left.
Oh back in the day I could, would. I stunk playing football, I really did, but by golly, Teddy Ruxpin at half price? I'd take on the biggest, baddest 6'3", 220 lb linebacker to getme onea them. And did. A big screen or two back in the day. Why not? I'm usually up at 3am anyways.
Today, huh uh.
Gimme a lazy river. Pass me that plate of turkey. Does it smell funny? Ok, WHO ate the last piece of pecan pie? CURSES!
On your mark... get set... GO - to the easy chair. I dream to be that uncle.. grandpa..whatever.. that falls asleep laid all back in the easy chair.. snores.. and the littles giggle like crazy watching, listening to same. They could even draw on me with a magic marker, I wouldn't care.
It seems we, the United States of Ammmmmerka, have gone nutso over holidays.
Christmas in July. Amazon "Prime Day." Black Friday. Small Business Saturday. Cyber Monday. Patooey.
Oh Lord, won'tya buy me, a La-Z-Boy to plop in.. .. my friends all drive Porches to Wally, druther sit on my rear end. I'll Amazon instead.. and wait for delivery.. next day before 3. Oh Lord wontya buy a La-Z-Boy for me.
Hustle bustle has left the building - some time after the turna the century. Energy, at this age, stage, is instead spent griping and groaning over energy prices, wide receivers that can't catch, my hip hurts when I walk, and Brian Busby weather forecasts. My kinda Black and Blue Friday. AARP to harp, so to speak.
I guess I'd better get up, go take on the day. First, I'm gonna emulate that little boy and go the other way. Won't take me long to walk to the bedroom, lay down, play Sudoku, fall asleep with phone in hand.
Snore. You can even draw magic marker on my face, I don't care. Hey, if you've got a brownish-red one, would you mind filling in that bald spot on toppa my head?
A few or thirty naps from now.. Ice, snow, dastardly cold, biting freezing wind, and Rudoph and Santa will show. The glitter, the glamour, eventually in stow. Seeya next year red and green.
We'll toast the New Year in.. (fancy for two beers, asleep before 9).. Seeya later guests, please close the gate... cause then, 11 months of election ads await.
Life, as an old fart. I'm an ever spinning (and napping) top, whirling around till I drop.. Ya got me goin' in circles... oh round and round I go, I'm spun out over you, life.
Honey? Can we Door Dash a pecan pie? Victor? Huh? You haven't had a honey since 2005. Oh yeah, OK, thanks. I'll go to Perkins then. On your mark, get set, no.. tomorrow. I've got some easy river, La-Z-boy snoozing, things, to do first.
Love, Victurd
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