GOFINDME..........

I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie... and that I was the star of this movie......

Hi, my name is Waldo.......... and after much deliberation, consideration, adulation, reiteration, libation,  lotta 'ations',  I've decided to enter the transfer portal... who knew when I arrived at Billy Jewell College, my NIL would be cleaning the johns of the gymnasium 5 nights a week.  Pew.  Eww.  Seeya later Cardinalgator...

You there........... yes, you.  Wow. I see ya ain't showered yet.  Your hair could use a little dab'a Brylcreem.. and that breath... yuck... take five, shower, shave (not you Hazel), BRUSH chops, hair, PUT A BRA ON.. then, come back........

And...........

Gofindme.   Me.  Waldo

I am considering transferring to THE LARGEST UNIVERSITY IN THE UNITED STATES.  I will be one of 68,442 students.  I might try to be an astronaut.  For real.  This University was founded in the 60's during the push globally of Space Travel, in fact, the motto is "Reach for The Stars."

Last year, 54,977 fellow snotnoses applied for admission..  22,560 were accepted. With my 2.14 GPA, I figere I gotta decent chance for admission.  If I gets me the edjumacation there..... upon Gratuation I will sing "Now it's time to say goodbye, to all our company..  MIC...  KEY...  MOUSE." No, not the Left Coast, the udder one.  What University is this?  Gofindme.

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Or....... 

I've always dreamed of being famous.  I can't really sing, dance, act, write, but, who cares, I'll figure something out.  I'm considering transferring to this University to follow in the footsteps of some celebs who attended, namely, Angeline Jolie, Anne Hathaway, Alec Baldwin, Billy Crystal, John Cusack, Mahershala Ali, Lady Gaga, Donald Glover, Martin Scorsese, Spike Lee, Woody Allen, Adam Sandler, and the dude who started Twitter, X, whateve they call it, Jack Dorsey.  Crapola, just imagine the school plays. Left some names out, but all in all, 12 Grammy Award winners, 25 Tony Award winners, 38 Academy Award winners, 5 US Governors, 17 Billionaires, and Danny Partridge in a pear tree,  JK on the last one.  GOFINDME. (No, it ain't UCLA, USC, Stanford.  Udder Coast).   Hint, our logo is a torch.

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Then again, I might "Hang Ten."  According to the Beach Boys...... no, that ain't it. According to Surfer Magazine, this school is THE BEST "Surf College" in the good ole U S of A.  Pacifically, yes, it's on the Left Coast.  There are some smart dudes, dudettes who go here.  In fact, it's lovingly called "The Public Ivy." The last twenty or so years, it took a GPA of 4.0 or better to gain access.  Eh, small detail. I can surf man. No, you can't Waldo.  I'LL LEARN THEN!  2,178 acres overlooking the Coast.

Reseach is HUGE here.  19 organized research units, 8 School of Medicine research units, 6 Oceanography units.  I just wanna stick out my thumb and little finger, hunt for 'bitchin' mackin' waves, and shapely coeds.  Sorry. Kinda, sorta.  Has absolutely nothing to do with this university overlooking the most popular nude beach in the US. My fingers ain't crossed, why you ask?

Gofindme.

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In heaven there ain't no beer. That's why, in this Cheese State University, they are known for being #1 on "Lots of beer"...  Almost annually, this University is ranked among The Best college campuses in the US.  Prolly ain't got nuttin' to do with hiccups.  Something tells me Waldo might fit in.

Gofindme

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"I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a Student Loan today."  At $84,126 per year, this University is officially the most expensive in the US.  Hint.  My buddy Schwabby just posted (on Marth 17th) a picture of this city's died 'Green River". Symbolism eh?

Gofindme some Waldo.

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Oh where oh where can Waldo use his Candy Crush skill academically?  Horshack tells us "I KNOW, I KNOW!"  raises his hand... and, it's based in Redmond, WA, with campuses also in Singapore and Bilboa, Spain. THE very first college to offer a degree in Gaming. 

Gofindme the name of the school Waldo is twiddling his two gaming thumbs.

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You WILL NOT find Waldo at any of the ten colleges below... because... they are the 'top 10' Least Fun College campuses (according to Total Sorority Move's website.  

Virginia – Liberty University
California – Biola University
South Carolina – Bob Jones University
Alabama – Athens State University
Pennsylvania – Messiah College
Indiana – Taylor University
Oklahoma – Oral Roberts University
Maryland – The University of Maryland – University College
Arkansas – Harding University
Illinois – Wheaton College

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Waldo (and probably most blog readers) is/are bored with pamphlets, filling out admission applications, attaching his dismal 2.14 GPA transcript.  Instead, he is saying "Screw this, I'm gonna just go take a cruise."

WALDO!  WAIT!  You can do that, AND gain credit!  On this Gofindme, just need the name of the 'college.'  Yes, you jump aboard a cruise ship...100 days! Travel, live, and take courses on the ship... and... visit TEN countries. (This year's itinerary includes  Germany, Portugal, Morocco, Ghana, Kenya, South Africa, Mauritius, Malaysia, India and Thailand.)

Total cost for  tuition, housing, meals, amenities, academic field costs, starter internet package, travel health insurance, student services and projected fuel fee $32,900 for a standard cabin, $36,100 for an uppity premium cabin.

Sorry Waldo...  this college mandates you have a 2.50 GPA, and, in looking at your combined savings, checking, ahm, nevermind.

GOFINDME answers..........

1. Largest (student population) in the US, University of Central Florida, Orlando, FL.  See ya real soon.

2. All them there famous names went to New York University, NYC, NY.

3. Hang ten on them bitchin', mackin' waves whilst you no peeky at the nude beach?  University of California, San Diego.

4.  Beer?  Cheese?  BEST Campus?  University of Wisconsin, Madison

5. THE MOST EXPENSIVE college in the US?  Get your green out, it's the University of Chicago, Chicago, IL

6. Grab them controllers, study whilst you play Candy Crush, League of Legends, Minecraft, World of Warcraft, yada... DigiPen Institute of Technology, Redmond, WA.

7. Get seasick, miss class?  Cruise baby, a hunnerd days...  the name of the 'college' is Semester At Sea. (The current academic sponsor is Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO. Ain't sure whatinthehell river the cruise starts on!)  OK, I guess you technically sail outta Vancouver, BC)

Thanks for playin',

Love, Victurd

Ya don't gets no extra credit, but, in case you're looking for THE LAMEST (most boring) college in your state:

Alabama – Athens State University
Alaska – University of Alaska Anchorage
Arizona – Arizona Christian University
Arkansas – Harding University
California – Biola University
Colorado – Colorado Christian University
Connecticut – University of Saint Joseph
Delaware – Wilmington University
Florida – Southeastern University
Georgia – Georgia Gwinnett College
Hawaii – Chaminade University of Honolulu
Idaho – Northwest Nazarene University
Illinois – Wheaton College
Indiana – Taylor University
Iowa – Dordt College
Kansas – Central Christian College of Kansas
Kentucky – Asbury University
Louisiana – Louisiana College
Maine – University of New England
Maryland – The University of Maryland – University College
Massachusetts – Bay Path College
Michigan – Spring Arbor University
Minnesota – University of Northwestern – St. Paul
Mississippi – Mississippi College
Missouri – Evangel University
Montana – University of Great Falls
Nebraska – Bellevue University
Nevada – Nevada State College
New Hampshire – Rivier University
New Jersey – New Jersey City University
New Mexico – Institute of American Indian Arts
New York – CUNY Queens College
North Carolina – Montreat College
North Dakota – University of Mary
Ohio – Cedarville University
Oklahoma – Oral Roberts University
Oregon – George Fox University
Pennsylvania – Messiah College
Rhode Island – Rhode Island College
South Carolina – Bob Jones University
South Dakota – South Dakota School of Mines & Technology
Tennessee – Southern Adventist University
Texas – Southwestern Assemblies of God University
Utah – Brigham Young University
Vermont – Norwich University
Virginia – Liberty University
Washington – Seattle Pacific University
West Virginia – Bluefield State College
Wisconsin – Alverno College
Wyoming – University of Wyoming