That be Thank Goodness For Humor.
Dandruff = I'm a flake, or, as L&L Motors said, I'm weird. I'll buy that.
Dandruff = Headscratching.
Sprinkled within, pics a father photoshopped and sent to his wifey every time she asked how the kids are.
Headscratching. No, not lice. Humor. Humor, as in, attempted humor.
Headscratching = weird.
Like, going down I-435 nekked on a 4-wheeler.
Climbing Trump Towers with suction cups. Victor, both are old news. Si. So am I.
Kyle(s) failed. Kyle, Texas. In an attempt to break a Guiness World Record, 706 folks named Kyle gathered in Kyle, TX yesterday. Well short of record. Record by "Ivan" in Ivan, Bosnia, 2,325 Ivan's gathered there once.
With the departure of Tommie Thompson (Chief's Punter and Holder on Field Goals. Extra pomts) there is no proof to the rumor Kansas City has hired Lucy to be the new holder. No comment from Arrowhead, or, from kicker Harrison Butker.... Rumor being spread by Charles (Victurd) Shultz
Dorothy Jean Tillmon of Chicago, IL began taking college courses at age 10. Now 17, she just graduated from Arizona State with doctoral degree in integrated behavioral health at Arizona State. Uh huh, Doctorate. Associate's, Bachelor's, Master's, Doctorate. Friends and family have donned her "Dorothy Jeanius. (Ahm Victurd, it took you 6 years to get your Bachelor's degree. Here. Here's some dandruff, asswipe. Flick!)
You CANNOT start a sentence with the word, letter I.
I is the 9th letter of the alphabet. Nanny nanny.... stick your head in doggy do.
I have no idea where Birkina Faso is... but, the legal drinking age is 13. I still think the above are doing so illegally. Book 'em Mom'o.
Presently on EBay you can purchase a Popcorn Scented Pillow... Indoor snowballs to fight with... Unicorn meat... Coffee Mug "World's Okayest Dad".. Yodeling pickle.. Donald Trump Chia Pet (I just report 'em folks, I don't make em up, nor, try to influence voters.)
My desktop computer lasted me twelve plus years. I have gone thru TEN laptops in the last six years. They ain't all they're cracked up to be.
Rumors running RAMPANT with Kansas City Chiefs. With punter Tommie Thompson's departure, the Chiefs have denied rumors they are looking into hiring the guy with the extended hang time on Scotty Scheffler's car.
LG has unveiled the World's Largest Big Screen TV at 325 inches. That's 11 toddlers, end to end.
Concord, CA. Chuck Walker and Mike Hartshorn broke the record for continuous time riding a teeter totter for 216 hours. When asked about their feat, Walker remarked "I thought my butt would hurt more."
Dave Johnson wrote a blog (much more entertaining than this one) on "Everything I needed to kmow about marriage I learned on a Teeter Totter in grade school." (I wonder if any of 'em fell off.. No, you can't ask if I speak from experience.)
Canadian 9 year old Aurora van Ulft (most commonly known as Rory van Ulft) holds the record for dealifting 244 pounds, which accounts for more than three times her body weight.
On Reddit, it was once asked "What's the weirdest thing that's happened to you with a toaster?" Someone responded 'I used a knife to retrieve stuck toast, the arc travelled up my arm, diagonally across and down my torso to my thigh and then arced across a small gap in my stove, burning a small hole in my pants and thigh and scaring the hell out of me." No word on if it landed butter side down.
A study by Manchester Metropolitan University revealed, when dropping 100 slices of buttered toast, 81% of the time it does land buttered side down. PETA would probably object to strapping the toast on the backa cats to solve that one, but, shhhh, I'd kinda like to see it.
A 2022 study reported 37.5% of parents drink in front of their children. 20.4% of them get slightly hammered.
Rhiannon Iffland is the youngest female cliff diver to win an event... and the most decorated female athlete in the sport's history, having 35 wins in 43 Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series stops. She began diving at the age of one off the coffee table into a small pool provided by her father. I made that last part up.
Video: Bulgarian 'firesport' record-holder climbs building with ladder | Daily Mail Online
Is quicksand deadly? Nah, it's denser than the human body.. People and animals get stuck in it, but, they don't get sucked down to the bottom - they float on the service. The longest known 'stuck' person was a 6 year old girl in Scranton, and she wouldn't have been detected if it weren't for her baby brother screaming as he and his dad got in their car to go home.
6 year old Claire kept having nightmares about the boogeyman. It got so bad, her folks took her to the Doctor. There, the Doc wrote a prescription for pills specifically "To keep the Boogeyman away." All now good, but, her younger sister is beginning to have a bit'a trouble sleeping.
Scottie Scheffler and wife Meridith had their first child May 8. There is no truth to the rumor his father used to drag him atop the car in his childhood.
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