Liam and Olivia.........

What's in a name?

(Insteada Victurd, my admitted name should be Plagiarism.  Oh well. Humor me.)

The results are in... .according to them census takers, from their pavement pounding travails of 2023, announce, THE most popular new baby names in the US to be, Liam for boys, Olivia for girls.

"My grandmother's sister didn't have a name, either legally or socially, until she was 6. Her parents couldn't agree on one so they just called her Baby." (Borrowed from somewhere on the internet.)

"My son was born at home but taken to a hospital immediately after. The hospital issued him a birth certificate when they shouldn’t have. After a series of hijinks, he now exists twice. Two birth certificates from two different states and two social security numbers. Trust no one." (With tongue squarely in cheek, how else are we Dems to win elections?)

"My grandma and her sister were pregnant at the same time.  My grandma said "If I have a boy, I'm naming him George."  "That's a nice name" her sister replied.  A month later, grandma's sister had her baby, a boy, and yep, SHE named him George. Grandma just said "Congrats."   Three weeks later, Grandma had my uncle, announced him to the family "Welcome baby George!"  Sister starts throwing a  fit, "YOU CAN'T, that's MY baby's name.. .we can't have cousins with the same name!"  Grandma said, "I'd told you what my son's name would be." (By George she had!)

"I'm named Macy because my mom went into labor at Macy's." (Glad it wasn't Piggly Wiggly.)

"My mom named me after Merry Christmas because I was born in December and she was high on the epidural. But she flipped it and named me Christina Marie."

"My daughter looked a little like a cartoon duck in her first sonogram picture, so we nicknamed her ducky. Later, while looking for names, we found that Della was Donald Duck’s sister (and Huey, Dewey, and Louie’s mom). We instantly knew that Della would be her name."

"I’m named Acadia after Acadia National Park where I was conceived...on top of a mountain." (Wow, glad it wasn't QuikTrip... or like, Bed, Bath and Beyond.)

Opie, uh huh, that guy Ron Howard and his wife, decided to give their children the middle name of where they were conceived.  Thus, there's Bryce Dallas Howard... his sister's middle name Carlyle (after the Hotel)... and then there's the baby brother, middle name Cross after the street they lived on.  Opie would always funny-ha-ha "I didn't want to call him 'Back of the Volvo,' right Barney?"

And these folks tongue and cheeked what their name would be, had their folks given them a birth name of where conceived:

Upstairs.......... Campervan....  Bedroom (boring)..   Big Joe Beanbag...  Grandma's Living Room Floor... Shower (or Balcony, not sure which did the trick)...  Target Parking Lot...  Drunken Super Bowl Party.. 

The internet said (we should believe it, yeah?) in Finland, folks wait 5-6 weeks to name their child, then, the name must be sent to a bureau that approves the name weeding out all the names that are unsuitable, basically anything that sounds insulting, punny, or vulgar. (Kinda like license plates here I guess.)

Interesting (that's your call), real names........  Moon Unit........  Portabella.. .   Phelony...  Marijuana (born in the 70's, now a teacher in Wisconsin, "It's never touched my lips."  Uh huh, right)  Spicy.. .Wealthy..  Vanity..(wonder if that one has anything to do with conception location").    Otter. (twin maybe? The Otter one?).. A friend has two cats, Larry and NotLarry.

Twins...... real ones..  again, so the internet says...... Shale and Slate..   Adam and Eva..  Razzle and Dazzle... "My classmates (boy and girl twins) were named Aidan and Nadia. It took me a long time to figure that they were just reversed."  I, Victurd, coached at a school where two boys were named Skip and Scoot.. by, their dad, the football coach - who, obviously, envisioned them in the same backfield.

S'more real ones..........Rick Shaw (say it real fast)...   Dick Swett..  Sam Sung.. . the 5th grade teacher, Mr. Perv..   P. Ennis..  geez..  Chris P. Bacon... Dr. Whet Faartz.. Crystal Methven.. Krystal Ball..  "OK Children, take out your Big Chief tablets.. Yes, Janice Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele what's your question?"  Lieutenant Les McBurney (Sun Prairie Fire Department).  Jack Daniels.. Will this marriage last? Hardy-Harr? ..  Jed I. Knight..  Dick Long (I know, Sophomoric... but, true... more?  My cross country coach in HS was named Richard Leeker, but, he didn't go by that.  Uh huh.  Really.)...  Jack Goff... I'm sorry.. I'M REALLY SORRY!

Show me the door, I'll go now............

Love, Ophelia Fanny (that is what my papa said my name would be had I been a girl)