Birds have peckers, bees have stingers. I'm still highly confused.
Women, steadfastly, always announce when they go pee.
Why?
Men, as a rule, pee more frequently.
Until 2018, women could not drive in Saudia Arabia.
Women can't drive in the US. MISOGYNIST! Nope, just personal observation.
During exercise women's primary fuel is fat, while men's is carbs. I just Google 'em folks, I don't make em up.
Men typically have 25% thicker skin.
Women typically carry their body fat in their hips and thighs, men, in their stomachs. Women might argue there is a good amount of fat in a man's brain me thinks.
There are 67.85 million married men in the US, 68.45 women. For further clarification, please consult your Funk and Wagnall.
42.69 million women have never married. 47.85 million men never walked down the aisle. Chickens.
Women generally control 51% of the stock, say so, in a household. Relax, my opine. On average, women make 84% of what men do. What's wrong with this picture?
Women have a better sense of smell and taste. Men generally smell worse.
Despite all the research about gender differences in listening, little to no evidence suggests that members of one gender are better listeners than the other.
Amending this blog (just like you can update Wiki any dayum time ya want), after that last sentence, upon further review, women do tend to use their middle fingers moreso than men.
The below, plagiarized. HEY, I don't get paid here, bug off!
A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor , where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer
The third, fourth, fifth & sixth floors have never been visited.
Things to do or say to keep a woman happy:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor , where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer
The third, fourth, fifth & sixth floors have never been visited.
Things to do or say to keep a woman happy:
Take interest in her hobbies. Give her your attention and tease her. Give her kisses. Ask her questions. Don't take life too seriously. Show up for her. Do date night. Communicate like a boss. Take care of your appearance. Show her that you're listening.
Things to do or say to keep a man happy:
Buy 30 packs weekly at The Piggly. Wear yoga pants. Say "OK, lets'."
Victor, you're a pig. I recently overheard, "Women are JUST AS BIGGA PIGS as men."
Oink.
By Henry, and Henrietta Gibson
Love, Victurd
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