Saturday, November 2, 2024

Same ole same ole.....

This blog will start just like any other.  I have zero idea whatinthehell I'm gonna write about. Sorry, kinda, it is what it is.

I thought about copy/pasting the words to the  diarrhea song, you know, like:

When you're sliding into first
And your pants begin to burst
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're sliding into two
And your pants are filled with goo
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're sliding into third
And you feel a greasy turd
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're sliding into home
And your pants are filled with foam
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

Certain you're aware. That song was from Parenthood, one of my favorite (probably sophomoric) movies.  It was a birds-eye of parenting and all therein. They don't giveya no 'structions on how to be a parent...  and lo and behold, long about late 2, early 3, the little snotnoses start talking back to you with real words, whatsup with that?  Therein starts, worries, crows feet, dad bods, sometimes financial despair happens.

I thought about a blog about leaks, but, that's kinda limited.  I did this simply because seems, at my ripe old age, pee is about all I do.. and.. the new tire I just purchased, leaked.  No cause for alarm, put the spare on, take tire back, our problems are solved.

Chronologically, spare was the next blog idea, because, my spare, yeah, the donut, was flat as well. Kid missed work (he doesn't drive, fat father takes him), finally all that was rectified.

Whilst this ain't (necessarily) about finances... next thought was the song 'Brother can you spare a dime'.   I learnt it was a song about the 'great' depression... Bing and Rudy Valee voiced it.  Twas titled such, per the lyricist "We had to have a title... Not to say, my wife is sick, I've got six children, the Crash put me out of business, hand me a dime. I hate songs of that kind." They'd ventured around Central Park NY, and heard "can you spare a dime" on way too many occasions. 

The collected ideas, poop, el baño?, the Depression, financial ruin, some aspects of parenting, flat tires, shops that put on a new tire despite instructions "fix the new tire that was on it" (oops, slipped, sorry)... all....... make one simply want Calm.

I ain't smart.  I have a minor in psychology. DO NOT be impressed, I failed to mention I majored in PE.  HA.  Psychology intrigues me.  I hate, truly, the above paragraphs I wrote.

A goal in life is to, at least attempt to portray positive from my 6' (ok damnit, I shrank, 5'11" or so) body... thereby, hopefully leaving folks with "ya know, he ain't a bad egg." Peace, happiness SHOULD come from within, not dependent on anything external. Not a fan of negativity, the game of "Ain't it awful", and Debbie Downers (VICTOR, YOU MISOGYNIST!) AM NOT!.  As I blogged plugged into electricity at Mickey D's, I was adjacent to one of my favorite peoples in the World, an 85 year old golfing buddy (and his daily coffee group) and I overheard him mention (VERYcalmly) to one'a the guys, 'Whateverhisnamewas' I forget, "your glass is half empty isn't it."  You tell 'em Charlie, I'll pat ma' foot and write about it.

I slip.  You slip.  Ok, maybe some of you don't.  

Then I think, holy guacamole, it's Saturday.  Uno, dos, tres days until the Election.  Is not the vast majority of American laying in bed, fearful to unfurl the bedspread to see the outcome, either way, the following two weeks, the ongoing 4 years?

HELP, I need somebody.  No you don't Victor, put on your big girl panties. HA

HELP, I need somebody, not just anybody. OK Victurd, Mr. Negativity, why don't you simply up and move, get the hell outta Dodge.  Even though YOU, yourself said 'Peace, happiness SHOULD come from within, not dependent on anything external', go, be a wussy, up and move.  

No matta' where ya live, poop, diarrhea, depression, pot holes (flat tires), move to (the children, they will find you).. grow up Victurd.

Eh, whatever. I think moving sounds yummy.  I think........

I think......

I found it.

WHERE VICTOR?   Influenced by "It never rains in California" - moving to Palm Desert?  Ahm, no.  Somewhere with a River?  Ahm no.  Good, because, don't forget......"Well, ya got trouble my friend, Right here I say, trouble right in River City."

I SAID I found it.

I'm moving to Calm, Missouri.  Uh huh, am.  I think it's a ghost town now. Down around the beauty of Southern Missouri, Northern Arkansas.  I just know I will never ever have another woe, worry, flat tire, fingernail biting stuff life dishes out.  Perfect.  There's even a Liberty Baptist church (or was) and a Liberty Cemetery.  I ain't fallin' for that little redheaded snotnose's weather forecast about "The sun'll come out tomorrow".. I'm gettin' the hell outta Dodge today.

Brother, can you spare a dime for gas money?

Oh doggie don't you poop on ma' boots.

Love, Victurd

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