M (forever after known as me, I, Victurd)
O (aka, Ouiji)
M: Morning
O: Good morning
M: WHATS SO GOOD ABOUT IT? Oh, sorry... the present mood of the United (kinda) States is rubbing off on me.. apologies.
O: All good.
M: Speakin'a good, March weather? Good or bad?
O: Yes.
M: Hey, can I ask, this present vitriol, mood... will bipartisanship, "hey, let's have a picnic...enjoy some needed comeraderie" ever happen?
O: Ahm.. is this your first rodeo (seance)?
M: Ha! OK, I'll stop with the political crap.
O: Good, I'm board.
M: Can you tell me... let's see, what can I ask... ahm, can you tell me 5 things you accomplished this past week?
O: 1, scared the crap outta two (snotnose) teenagers.. 2, helped a family of farmers with weather forecast. 3, Sharpened my chainsaw.. 4, Installed a solar panel that enables me to automatically send an electrical shock to whomever is holding that planchette thing (the one you're holding now).
M: That's only 4?!!.... OUCH! OK OK, I GET IT.
M: OK, I'll switch to Sports. Mahomes. The G.O.A.T. or, the goat?
O: Baaaaa'd question. Ask Jake. Or Andy. Or Brittany. Or Eagles fans.
M: Will I ever again be able to afford a dozen eggs or a pound of ground beef?
O: (accessing your SS rate of pay)... No.
M: Damnit darnit. Will I ever break par?
O: Your occupation on your W2 lists 'golf clubhouse attendant', scratch that, enter comedian.
M: Are you always this grumpy? OUCH!!!! DAMNIT DARNIT!
O: The mood rubs off on us all, sorry.
M: Do you answer these questions sincerely, truthfully?
O: What can I say, you move me.
M: Are you male or female?
O: Yes.
M: Which bathroom do you use then? OUCH!!!!
M: I need a new hip, but I'm chicken. Recommendations?
O: Don't get the flu.
M: The Royals. Things are looking up!
O: Those Brits will be fine, always have been, always will be. Chip chip cheerio.
M: NO! I mean our Baseball team! OUCH! WILL YOU PUT THAT DAMN THING AWAY?
O: Dodgers, Yankees, much bigger SS checks. You, no eggs, ground beef, no (World Series) soup for you.
M: Advice for me?
O; Take Sominex tonight, stay off Facebook after your 2nd Miller Lite, get a dog (or cat) - I read your mind, you were gonna ask about "Will I ever find Love again? Don't fly Delta.
M: Wow.. ok. Ahm.. Where do you see me in 4 years.
O: To everything, urn, urn, urn. I'm kidding Victor. May I ask you a question?
M: Sure, but you gotta move my hands.
O: OK. You, TMI a lot here. Why?
M: Good question. In public (my closest buddies will dispute) I'm quiet. Here, yes, maybe talk too much.
O: Why?
M: A long time ago, I had apologized for something I'd written here. A good buddy wrote something to the effect of "It's OK, sometimes you write about things we too think, but fear expressing it." I know not always, but maybe sometimes?
O: Such as?
M: I admittedly worry as I age about much. #1, aging in and of itself. Thus, I tend to get agitated a bit easier.. things like crudeness, aloofness, and yes dangit, political beliefs. Time is short, happy is, should be a goal, but sometimes that's hard.
O: Fair enough, and I understand. First, a baby lecture. Take care of yourself. Sleep. Exercise. Sure, have the scrumptious piece of pecan pie, that thirst quenching beer, but, moderation.
M: OK, What else?
O: We are all different, of course politically. Stand for your beliefs, but not to the point of a stroke or a broken friendship, ruined day...
M: And?
O: There is never perfection. Everyone has bad days, moments... we can't begin to understand what's going on in everyone's life. Don't try to, and let that be.
M: I have heard that controlling word a time or seven.
O: Exactly. Take on only that you can control.
M: I gotta pee. Gets harder to control the 'when' as I age. Don't shock me.
O: K.
M: Back.
O: Life is good, if, we allow it to be.
M: You ain't sucha... bad... whatever you are.
O: Oui, G. Appreciated. You ain't a bad dude either, but don't let any aloofness out.
M: Ha. Hope you haven't been bored.
O: Board, never bored.
O: One request?
M: Sure, name it.
O: Don't put me back in that damn box again. I've been in there since you were 15, I could use some fresh air.
M: Done deal, just don't shock me... OUCH!!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
O: Don't forget to include humor in your every day.
A planchette dear friends you are about to receive on John Barleycorn (Miller Lite) nicotine (STOP SMOKING) and the temptations of Eve. Get a dog, or cat.
Love, Victurd
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