Yo Adrian? If per chance this blogger decides to transfer this post to Facebook.... and it comes up in Memories some 6 years later, how are we gonna tap into his (relaxed) brain to ascertain just what in the wide wide world of sports he's referring to?
Well, school.... or not.
Huh?
Yeah it's been... what's the opposite of chirpy? Yucky? Dreary? Brrrrrrr? I'm dreaming of a white February? Netflix and wind chill?
Yes, to all of the above.
I can now alphabetically recite the 273 school districts within the KC channel 9 viewing area.
Well there ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe.
So, I, a kajillion other (grumpy?) old farts have taken an affinity to napping, uh huh, often.
I mean (I really don't like sentences that begin with 'I mean')... I mean.... an example might be.. you get up, shower, layer up and s'more layers...go start the car, spend 36 minutes warming it up, sweeping snow off, scraping a halfa inch'a ice underneath it... you're ready to roll... then...
Oh crap, I forgot to let the dog out to pee. He don't wanna (can you blame him? The real feel is -16). So, ya grab leash, pull the little basta to the nearest tree... tears, sweat are now icesickles.. he runs back in, finally, back to car. Except...
In all that time there's now another inch and a halfa snow on the car (quarter inch'a ice under that)...so...
You say "to heck with it".. you say that, I say "to hell with it", so...
You take a nap.
Sleep, rinse, repeat.
You awaken, it's now 1:37am, you're wide awake. You give in, head to make coffee. Fido thinks mebbe you're gonna put the leash on him so he goes, hides under the back bedroom bed.
Bosses all around field call after call of "Hey Frank, it's Shirley...are you OK if I work from home again? Timmy and Tina ain't got school again and Ian's daycare is closed cause they ain't got sufficient staffing to open." Can ya blame em? Risk a $2700 fender on a minimum wage job?
So, Frank, and literal scads of other area bosses give in. Shirley stays home, logs in, puts on noise canceling headphones because Timmy keeps hollerin' "My feet hurt!" Really can't blame him, they've grown two sizes since he last went to school.
"Weather Impact Day"s have replaced the now ever boring "Breaking News" graphics, catchphrase of local news.
Geezers (Remember? They are up and at em, making coffee at 1:37am).. first cup poured, infronta em (along with six cookies) collapse in the recliner and watch....
12 personal injury ads, interspersed with ads for Proactiv, Bowflex, Ginsu Steak Knives.. flip channel, watch The Andy Griffith Show... Hoss, Ben, Little Joe... and just when the local news comes on...
The eyelids close.
Eh, mebbe not a bad thing, chirpy weather folks relating more of the same... "stay home unless you absolutely have to get out", airline tragedies, long lines all about the nation at unemployment offices.. the Dodgers signing another hunnerd and ninety million dollar player, and locally on sports....
"Chiefs gonna lose a lot of players (can't afford), Reid, Veach undaunted (fancy for prepare for 6-11.)
VICTOR?!!!!
Huh?
Is it REALLY that bad?
Nah... except for when that one guy sends pics of his feet and a Pina Colada by the pool in Mehico...
Wait a minute, it's stopped snowing
Schools are opening, busses going
Playing baseball in Arizona, gee that's bettah
Muddah, Faddah kindly disregard this lettah
Saturday 38! SUNDAY FITTY! Monday 58, Tuesday 59!!!!!!
There ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe.
I think we all (ok dangit, most) here admit to occasional Winter Depression (SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder)... happens... annually... this one lengthy.. (Victor? Don't you remember last January, like 17 straight days of sub zero weather?)
No, cause I was that ass sending poolside Pina Colada pics from Mehico.
We needs serotonin and melatonin... which, we get from the sun.
Richie might sing:
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's alright
Little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's alright...
Gotta run.. trying out my shipment of Power Swabs to whiten ma' teeth.
Forward by Billy Mays, Ron Popeil, and Mike (Mike's got this)
Love, Victurd
"Fun" fact: School has been out for 41 of the past 61 days! 😲
(It's no one's fault, but realizing made me feel less crazy.)
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