Twist and shout......... (sorry, kinda.. not really)

Well, shake it up, baby, now (shake it up baby)

Ahm, that thingy of paprika has been in your cabinet since you were fitty.  Shake it up bebbe.  Way to the left and way to the right in the nooks of your closet - are outfits from when Archie and Meathead were  popular on TV  - shake it up baby - Savers, Goodwill, Salvation Army, wherever whatever, git ridda them.

Twist and shout (twist and shout)

It's icy out.  En route to car, we slip.  We catch our-self, but we slip. Damnit darnit. We twisted, now, shouting.  Prolly woulda been better off had we fallen all the way, broke'a hip - six weeks in bed, catered meals, heightened personal concern over little ole me. Instead, we slipped, twisted, caught ourself, SHOUTED.

Come on, come on, come, come on, baby, now (come on baby)

Hurry up Grandpa... WHO drives the speed limit anymore?  Scoot it over OG....  "MOM, grandpa just went pee ten minutes ago... we gotta pull over again?"....  2nd in line at QT, not a moment to spare to make it to work on time:  "Dad burnit, I wish Walter Brennan would pick out his 12 scratch off tickets some time other than rush hour, I'm gonna get fired."

Come on and work it on out (work it on out)

Work out.. Up from the EasyBoy to get another beer (Working on a 6 pack).... Laps, as in 7, from midnight to 4am, bed to pee, and back...  Work it on out:  Milk of Magnesia, prune juice, coffee, water.  Say, did you hear about the constipated mathematician?  He worked it out with a pencil.  Sorry, kinda, not really.  I'll erase it if you really want me to.

Well, work it on out, honey (work it on out)

Sweatin' to the Oldies.  Getting one's steps in looking for golf balls in the woods. Not tonight Mildred, I'm out of Mr. ED blue thingys... pulled a muscle.. slipped, twisted, shouted, cussed.... it ain't a Holiday, whatsup?.

You know you look so good (look so good)

You really really do. I knew when I met your momma fitty years ago, you'd still look good now.

You know you got me goin' now (got me goin')

Well.. i guess I kinda, sorta, did, feel a twitch.  We shall see bebbe... twitch and shout?  Are we toooo old to shout during you know?  What if my choppers fly out?  OH BABY you're gonna have to shout I ain't got'ma hearing aid in... and no worry on the choppers, they're in that glass on the nightstand.

Just like you knew you would (like I knew you would)

I admit to owning 49% of the stock you beautiful thing you.  Momma knows best.  Life ain't multiple choice, it's "Yes honey."  "OK honey."

VICTOR!  PLEASE DON'T HIT THAT PUBLISH BUTTON IN THE UPPER RIGHT HAND CORNER.

Oops.  Sorry.  

We old.  We ain't dead.

By Henry and Mildred Gibson

Love, Victurd

You are getting sleepy..... verrrrrrry sleepy........

Yes, yes I am, or do.  I've noticed, sometimes I actually fall asleep with phone in hand, or, hand on keyboard......... and............ 345rpiodfslgkep4otxxxxjsafpertlakajj happens.  You every wake up, see something similar and ask "What in the Wide Wide Worlds of Sports is that?" I once even dialed my eye doctor at 3:17am, sadly.. true.

Welcome to old. I kinda like old.

Oh sure, it'd be nice to have that red and blue outfit, cape of youth.... restore being "able to leap regular stairsteps in a single bound.

Now, I get sleepy around 8 or 9, I go lie down.  NO, I ain't talkin' PM, I'm talkin' AM. I remember getting sleepy at work that early- in fact, one day the phone rang - my boss.. "Were you sleeping?"  "No." Forgive me Father for I have sinned, I was.  "Someone walked by and said you were sleeping."

I am like............ B 4 REAL.  Whyintheheck, coworker, just tap me on the shoulder, say, "Hey Vic?"  Oh well.  I Pinocchio'ed my way thru it.

You are getting impatient......  verrrrrrry impatient.....

Yes, yes I am, or do.  Do you ever find yourself mid-post on Facebook... or in the first several minutes of a show after flipping the channel....  on Facebook you read comment after comment after comment, then, finally realize, whatinthehell am i doing here, I'm bored, time is precious, amscray, stage left.  Or same, as we attempt to wipe our fingerprints off on the remote control changing stations.

Situations.  Arguments.  Raised voices.  No thank you, I'm old.  I quickly realize whatinthehell am i doing here, I'm bothered, time is precious, amscray, stage left. I'm old. I think I'll take a nap, or, listen to Van Morrison...or, watch an hour of Tim Conway on Youtube.  It's MY time, I'm old.

But Victor..... you old people...... we watch, listen to..  as you limp, waddle... graduate to them smaller steps... make pirate noises when you get up, or, sitdown, laydown.  And then you smile.  YOU SMILE.  What gives?

Life.  Life gives.  When we limp, mebbe it's because we survived, passed the test, parking over 18 spots from the front door at Wally... made it in.. back out.. HAHA youngsters, we can do it too... so, we smile.

We go from Big Chief Tablets (that's Big Ole Steps in our younger days) to.. baby, smaller steps, because - mebbe there are lines painted on the floor (ha).. or twigs on the sidewalk.. or, frost/ice as the temps go from forty to thirty something, could be someone just cleaned the kitchen floor - slip and fall could mean a five hunnerd dolla Medicare deductible.  Or, two months in Golden Acres.  Huh uh. Baby steps. Then, smile once we get wherever.

Why smile Victor?  The hell is there to be happy about nowadays?

Well....... lots..... In 'our day', we tuned in, laughed at, Mr. Magoo.. watched Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Green Jeans... Bugs.. Barney and Fred... we had termites.. and they watched Bart and Homer..  Beavis and Butthead... sure, a little looser morally, but hey, it's the turn we, our nation took.  Modern day 'little feet' (grandkids) enjoy Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who lives in a pineapple under the sea......Spongebob Squarepants...   Minions, Dora.. Bert and Ernie (still)..  and that Frozen lady.

What are you saying Victor?

Well....... leather, over time, gets all hardened.  Bananas, yuck, ain't long 'fore theyr'e black, limply wimpy...  Cars... they might start'ta rattle... the sheen wears off... the tires, here a bump, there a bump, everywhere a bump bump.   

THINGS, WE, AGE.  Sooooooooooooooooo, do we go hide under the covers?  Drown our sorrows?  Order another 90 day supply of that feel good medicine? (mebbe!)... but too... we saddle soap our boots, condition 'em...  we make banana bread... we get an oil change, alignment, tire rotation, tune up... buff and wax the car's paint surface.

Children learn... they ain't been all hardened, limpy wimpy... aint started rattlin', here a bump there a bump...  they laugh... have fun... go, go, go, like 60 (right Bonita?).. or, like a pin pricked balloon, zipping here, zapping there... before finally collapsing from hours of exhilaration.

We old folks do too.  No, we no longer move like Arthur Ashe or Billie Jean King usedta, rather, we rock steady (steady rockin' all night long).. lift the front end up so the tennis balls don't get stuck in the crack.  We use grab bars, anti-aging crap in jars, we have the Life360 app so our kiddos knows where we ares..... 

Like a bridge over a lifetime of troubled water, I will lay me down... take forty winks..  we bide our time, and enjoy it.  we guard our cereal so there ain't no one pissin' in our cornflakes.  Our shirt may be buttoned one button off.... the zipper like fitty percent down.. a pocket may be hangin' out... we occasionally forget whether it's SMTWTFS, but, tell me how my smile looks eh?

Shortly after that Big Chief, we learnt how ta tell time. We ain't forgot.  Now, we ain't talkin' big hand, little hand... AM/PM...  digital crap...  we're talking Golden time.  We hurry up and waited for this fo'ever and 'eer.

We done took that job and shoved it..... OH.. HELLO BANK BALANCE THE THIRD WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH..   THANKS!

Daytime, nighttime, bedtime, anytime, everytime, presenttime, timeofday...  all the dayum... any dayum.. .whateva' time it is.....we're happy to be here... so... we smile, enjoy.. use our flyswatter on yucky stuff.  Six comments in a on a Facebook post and uh oh, up pops 'ugly'.. nope, nada... I, we, ain't got time for a bad day.  Hasta la vista baby.  Are you coming with me Snagglepuss?

I gotta go......  I may..... go lay on the floor and play a Roblox board game with youngin's.. or, mebbe learn 'em paper, rock, scissors... watch the pineapple under the sea show and xplain Lucy to the grands how Patrick can be so happy when he ain't got no hands or toes..... or perhaps... go to Wally and do like I usually do... all around the store until I finally see someone older'n me.  "Excuse me ma'am, what year did you graduate?!!"

Might take a drive to nowhere..  find a fun meme to send to the regular golf foursome.  Use my Mickey D app for a buy one get one breakfast sandwich. (It's what we old people do... thrift... pinch)..  

When the goin' gets rough........ take a nap.  See if you can fart on purpose.  Make fun 'teenage' faces in the mirror..  watch Vanna turn letters..... write a buddy a letter...  Youtube me some Ray Charles.....

I'm serious.......  we can't be so serious......  I'm positive, I think.

Enjoy your time......  I planta.....

Love, Victurd

Teams

David Gibbs/Justin Gibbs

Rich Gibbs/Ken Stegall

Ryan Stegall/Jake Gibbs

Lee Schneiderven/Doug Jones
Robert Wildman/Jerry Hibbs

Bill Barnes/Steve Schmidt

Brian Thomas/Ted Jacques

Tommie Grimm/Vic Schultze

Gary Lund/

Cary Wepler/Randy Wepler

Mark Chambers/Chase Chambers

Fieldon Houston/Tim Schoeller

Jim Cooper/Craig Davis

Denice Morrison/Al Stilfield

Janet Maddox/Carol Lalumondier 

2025 Third Annual 'LIBERTY TOWNIE INVITATIONAL'

 Hi... this is Vic Schultze and we're getting ready for our third hopefully Annual Townie Invitational... (We only have 30 carts, please reply early to reserve a spot!)

WHO? You, and a partner of your choice. 

WHAT? 2 person golf scramble

WHERE? The Club at MariMack, 525 S. MariMack Drive, Kearney, MO 64060

WHEN? Tuesday, July 22nd (Registration 8:30am, Shotgun Start 9am)

COST: $55 total per player. (First, pay $25 for green fee, may pay with cash or card at the regular counter... then please go to Tourney Organizer table to pay $30 CASH ONLY...{twenty goes to prize fees, ten will go to Liberty's Shop With A Cop, a Christmas time event helping children from families in need.. next year we will boost this amount to twenty)

The prize money will be split in half... Half for 1st, 2nd, 3rd place... and Half for skins. Additionally, there will be non-monetary prizes for closest to the pin, longest putt., will also have a Liberty trivia contest, winner receiving a certificate for two 18 hole rounds at MariMack. (will draw for winner if ties)

LUNCH: A modest lunch (Hot dogs, beans, chips, cookies) will be provided after golf.

WHO CAN PLAY? This is an invitational tourney, ie, it will not be publicized... It's meant for those of us (mostly old folks!) that grew up, loving Liberty. (Little league, classmates, college buds, worked together, maybe sat next to on barstools, family, etc.), thus, why you received this. Half of the people in your cart must have the Liberty connection. If you cannot play, or chose not to, please let me know and I'll remove you from future texts, emails, etc.

WHAT DO WE DO NOW? Let Vic know (via text) you're playing and who your partner will be. If, you have a specific foursome you'd like to play with, please let Vic know and he will try to accommodate that.

FINE PRINT No sleeveless shirts (you do not need a collared shirt), no outside alcohol, cart path only. ALL players will tee off from the red tees, local ground ruiles discussed the day of tourney.

VIC SCHULTZE's contact info: Text 816-394-1662

WHO ALL IS RECEIVING THIS? I may miss or add a name... Tom Albright, Brian Anderson, Bill Barnes, Gerald Bernard, Dick Bland, Wes Blanton, Sandye Boyes, Jeff Brown, Dwight Bruening, Gary Burger, Ben Cassady, Mark Chambers, Bill Chrane, Jim Cooper, Rob Cox, Craig Davis, Robert Dorsel, Ron Drew, Joe Evans, David Gibbs, Justin Gibbs, Rich Gibbs, Tom Grimm, Jesse Hall, Larry Hall Candy Hampy, Marty Hensley, Jerry Hibbs, Fieldon Houston, Doug Jones, Joe Kempf, Carol Lalumondiere, Greg Lalumondiere, David Lawson, Gary Lund, Greg Lund, Janet Maddox, John McAdams, Sandy McCann, Rick Moody, Mike Morefield, Denice Morrison, David Nesbitt, Grundy Newton, Mark Pollard, Tom Riggs, Mark Rutliff, Steve Schmitt, Lee Schneidervin, Tim Schoeller, David Schwabauer, Tom Shifflett, Molly Smith, Steve Smithmeir, David Soltys, Ken Stegall, Ryan Stegall, Al Stilfield, Roger Svetlecic, Brian Thomas, Pat Thomas, Deek Vanatta, Cathy van Dijk, Cary Wepler, Randy Wepler, (DO I HAVE TO PICK SOMEONE FROM THIS LIST? NOOOOO, you don't.  If you do not want to play, we'd still love for you to come visit, have lunch... 11:30am-ish.PURPOSE: Fun, while we still can.

PLEASE RSVP (VIA TEXT TO VIC) BY Friday, July 18, THANKS!

Fulcrums, hassles and passels......

Damn near EVERY time I get to this point of my day (face 'warshed', as a buddy says, coffee downed, daily sudoku a done deal, the Wordle hurdle, a trip to the john or three)... I come here, stare.........

And see, a rabbit in a snowstorm.  Huh?  Yeah, the blank page.  EXCEPT, most days when I look, it seems it's more like a mirror.... and all I see is me, me, me, me, me, thus....... I write about me. I will NOT be offended if you Snagglepuss left here.  

I apologize in advance, but, I blame it on an article I read devoted to parents who'd lost a child - and it said, talk, talk, talk.  So, HA, you're stuck!

I'm a Libran.  Uh huh, the scales.. like a fulcrum.  Insteada thinking about balance (is life ever that?).. I think more like 'woah Nelly, it's an up down world.'  Yes, the Granny 'rollercoaster story' in Parenthood... yes, the teeter totter this gullible redheaded frecklefaced ugly kid (me) sat on in 4th grade while my 150 buddy on the other side, looked at me, laughed, then slid off the back whilst it was on the ground, me, crashing down, damn near driving my tailbone up thru my shoulders. Lessens learned, life is like that, yeah it is.

Passels.  We've done the "I'm a simpleton" routine  before so you know I am that.  I was reading the obits today (2nd thing in order I do after Daily Sudoku.)... thought I recognized a name... read... didn't know 'em... but, it listed 'and a passel' of nephews and nieces."  Being a non-grammatical degree dude, I still think I know it all.. I said, Ha Ha, KC Star, I gotya, mistake, error, typo.  Then, I looked up passel. "A large group of people or things."  Moffitt's probably laughing but I was today old when I learned that one.

I have mentioned before, obtaining my four year degree when I was wet behind the ears was mebbe the very best six years of my life. (Scroll to simpleton.)

Once a year, the buddies from our fraternity in college gather... from points near and far.. a golf tourney is held... usually anywhere from 60 to 80 show up...  we have a blast... relive, remember stories from long, long ago.  We, the guys I went to Jewell with, are just about the oldest there.. not THE oldest, more about him in a sec.

For every first sighting in a long, long time, a waddle across the room and a tight ole' "I loveya brother" there's the "Well no, he's not coming, he just went into the hospital today... and/or.. He's gonna be here to play, but, his wife's not doing too well, he's gonna leave right after.. and/or, "just got a new hip, can't"...  "nah, just had shoulder surgery"...   "with his neuropathy, he's coming, but.. he's only going to putt."  Fulcrums, hassles, passels, life, love, sometime tears.

We did the annual "hurry up and get over here, it's damn hot out" group photo - so, for later we can recall "I thought he passed in 2022, but nope, there's his picture in 2025."  I jest, but damnit darnit, we've lost a couple since last year and our age projects a passel more to come, damnit.

The temperature, and some scores, hit a hunnerd.  My buddy and I, neither of which can run a fitty yard dash in under two minutes now - were granted a cart to ride around the course (not play).. provide barbs, making fun of the old guys, laughing with the young guys.  Oh, and we had a cooler with dry ice, dozens of popsicles, we passed those out to the golfer dudes.

After, 60+ of us with varying size of bellies, thickness (or lack of) hair, hydrated, laughed, gathered to pass out awards, tell further war stories.   But first.......

A toast.  A too damn long (already) and growing (damnit) list of those gone before us.  Bless Greg Lebold, Tourney Organizer, for including "Dru Schultze, son of Vic Schultze".  Yes dangit more tears.  My take, ya don't feel, what's the point in being here?

The old guys showed REAL WELL in the prizes, and my very good old Buddy Grundy Newton, now 85, and his sons/grandson, won a 'skin' for $450.  Nice!  We ALL loveya Grundy!

Before departing back to points in MO, KS, IA, CO, SD, IL, etc...   a couple dozen plus of us went to the best damn Italian joint in the City for an "oh my goodness" wonderful meal.  We laughed, we cried, we ate (and ate), drank, we toasted.  We were 20, going on 68, or 70, or 73.

I, and others, had either gone to pee, oe smoke somewhere, as they'd passed out the tabs.  "Alex? (the waiter) I didn't get one?" (nor did another brother)..  "I dunno" was all he'd say.  I challenged the normal 'culprit', "nope, wasn't us"... then, the brother to my right.. "Doesn't matter Vic, we love you."  DAMNIT DARNIT - Libra, brothers, LIFE, they balance them damn scales, cause s'more tears.  (Victor, you do do [pronounced 'dough dough'] pay it forward.  I will, and thank you.

Teeters totter, it's an up down world, amidst the hassles ya take some time to laugh, cry, remember back, love, hug, laugh, make fun of, self depricate - those in your passel.  I'm glad I learned that word - it's been good group therapy. Life, at 20 when you're 72 is perty damn good.

Hug someone - whilst we still can.

Love, Victurd

I is..........

Victor, you can't begin a sentence with I is........

I is hearing you... but... watch me........

I is the 9th letter of the alphabet.  Stick that one up your Funk and Wagnall.

I wake up (ty ty ty for another day).. my brain goes like......... pong..  or, like a bag'a popcorn in the microwave for three minutes... holy crap, pop pop pop pop pop (this direction, that direction, this pop, that pop).. here a pop, there a pop, everywhere a pop pop....  pop pop pop pop.... pop    pop   pop        pop        pop      pop.. then........ silence, or, a nap... or, I give up... or, I open the dayum bag and eat it. Yes, in one sitting, YES, all by my lonesome. And yes, up to and including crunching all the kernels that didnt pop

That bag'a popcorn is my brain wondering whatinthehell to blog about.  I know.  Skeery.

I thought about 'lyrics that have meaning... feeling... make ya think.. thought provoking.. rewarding... yada."   Nah.  I do that cheesy corn crap all the time.

I thought about lyrics within CS&N songs...... Google reminded me, did you mean CSN&Y lyrics?  Oh yeah, I guess so.. but nah.....

I thought about writing all about, relaxation...  A link to 'the Mayo Clinic' popped up.  Hell to the yeah, experts, wouldn't one assume?  Reading..  "Try these steps to lower stress..."  THAT'S what I'm talkin' about, YES.  l

They talked about the benefits...... slow heart rate. Lower BP.  Improve focus and mood (sign me up)..  Improve sleep quality... (I get it, but, I'm asleep, howinthehell do I know the quality of it?)...  Lower fatigue (Again, ME ME ME MR. KOTTIERE'!_)  Lessen anger and frustration..  That's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it........ Mayo continued:

'Using relaxation techniques along with these other positive coping methods:  Think positively. (I've long said if I ever write a boook [never will] I'd title it "I'm postiive, I think."...... Find humor. (Dig)... Exercise regularly, eh..  I dunno. Eat a healthy diet. B4real.  Spend time outside. Like.   And then........

And then it happened... it took me by surpise...  No, that ain't it.

And then Mayo rambled on, forgot the fact that I, an overfed, long-haired leaping gnome.. should be the star of a Hollywood movie...  No, that ain't it.  Mayo forgot I'm a damn simpleton, they started using phrases for relaxation techniques like..........

Autogenic relaxation...... Progressive muscle relaxation..  Visualization.. Tai chi (nah, went to one'a them buffets once, no likey).. Yoga (ouch, help me back up wouldya?... Biofeedback (how do you type a snoring sound?)..  Hydrotherapy...

STOP RIGHT THERE........ I GOTTA KNOW RIGHT NOW....... the hell IS all that gobbledygook?

Giving up on the relaxation blog idea, I reminded myself "Victor whatever you do, DON'T write about you.. You seemingly always do.  Carly might mention vain. You might break your arm patting yourself on the back............ Then, I thought about the Animals......

You mean, Let me tellya 'bout the birds and the bees?".. NO. Like the Animals song "It's my life and I'll do what I want."  Victor, you're so vain.

Which, reminded me of mute.  I thought about a blog about mute. My whole family was involved deeply in the local theater group. Victor, remember, no "I" crap.  Ahm, my whole family was involved deeply in the local theater group.  They BEGGED ME to join in, participate.  No. No. No.  No. No.  Hey, this play has a role for a deaf mute?  I'll do that!

And I thought about how fun it is to pretend you're holding a remote and you click it to pretend stop someone from speaking.  My ex did that a lot to me. (Mayo said find humor).. 

Then I thought about the back deck at work. (Golf course).. We always play on Mondays, get done just before time for the ladies league to start.  We love us some ladies, we do we do. That said, right before start time there's like 20 of 'em on the deck.  And (this message will self-destruct in 2 minutes) at times, 20 of 'em talk at once.  We think to ourselves, "If 20 of 'em are talkin', and, there's only 20 of 'em, whointhehell is listening?"  I guess that would be us.

Then I thought about favorites.  And, seeing crap from other's shoes.  There ain'tno ain'tno way to 100% see something from another's shoes.  I have my favorites.  You have your favorites, no matter how wrong they are.  Hehe.

I is........ or, was, gonna list some'a my favorite things in life.  But, you've been here long enough..  you know 'em. Fritos, lasagna, sports, golf, Motown, humor, sports, $2 shirts, shorts from the dead people's store, Baseball Ray, Show Me Liberty, MO, anything that ain't Kansas, vanity, daydreaming about "Mr. Bill"ing bosses who micromanage, camp out over my shoulder, that stuff.

Ahm, Victor?

Yes?

Is there...... per chance, a common theme to this blog?

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I finally remembered how to type snoring.

By Henry Gibson.

Paul Harvey, good day.

Love, Victurd

Happy shivers........

Hit.  Spit. Cuss. Slam. Throw. I'm a people person for goodness sakes!  Leave me alone, please?

Seems all that gobbledygook is within our resume', LinkedIn, past, present, been-there-done-that, being, innards, sometimes sneaking outtards.

Life is a literal UP, NMOp.

Thankfully (enter puppy dog tails wagging here, or, finding a $20 bill in a pair of jeans, or, hearing "let's chase each other 'round the room tonight") VICTOR! OK, sorry, but, if that ain't happy shivers, I ain't sure what is.

Yesterday was spent with 4 straight hours on the phone with Spectrum, then, DirectTV. (Hit. Spit. Cuss. Slam - blog for another day... or, better not to.)

Today, I've spent considerable time trying to get on BrainyQuotes to hunt, peck for quotes about 'Taken for granted."  Katy barred the door, seven times I've clicked the I aint a robot box but they ain't lettin' me in.  Hit,. Spit. Cuss.  Nah, not worth getting upset over.

I was reasonably busy breaking my arm patting myself on the back in that affliction has helped me not take much for granted.. ....... (which, the back patting, I KNOW is idiotic)... and honest to goodness I wasn't giving my affliction the "WHY ME?" look.  I am really really really aware how lucky I am, have been in life.

That said, seems there are times ya wanna tap someone on the shoulder and remind them....... do you have any idea what a gift is is to simply walk?  Fer sure, it's the rule "Be thankful for what ya got" and I am.

And, I think by now we've all heard the story...... the little boy who wanted new shoes, felt sorry for himself, then saw a boy who had a gigantic hole in his shoe, felt sorry for himself, then, he saw a boy with no shoes, and yes, he felt sorry for himself, but too, then he saw a little boy with no feet.  A lesson for us on in being thankful for what we do have.

There is a person on this planet I am very close to... she's going thru some neurological things... along with which comes difficulty in fine motor skills with her hands.  She feels stressy when she goes to pay by card and struggles briefly trying to get the card in the slot.  Magnification times twelve (at least we perceive that) of, by, the eyeballs of the people behind in line.  There are, assuredly, some really really really ugly "Hurry it up wouldya lady?" people in the land.  

But too.......for every booger flicker like that there are a hunnerd and twelve remarkable, understanding, yummy folks that, give ya happy shivers.

I had a cousin who got cancer.  He was so, so positive and reflective.  He confided with me, "Why not me?".  It put him closer to God, family, quality in his life.

This whole blog was brought on by my eyeballs experiencing the over a hunnerd and twelve remarkable understanding, yummy folks, that, give ya happy shivers.

Daily.  Literally daily, I have people, complete strangers, stop everything that's going on in their life, focus on me 'cause it's plain to see "he ain't right" (me, eh, humor helps!).. and offer to help, "anything I can do?.... can I get that for you?... Need a hand?"...

THEY, hella nicer than I fer sure, STOP their life to offer to help me.  Happy shivers. (Victor, I think this is where Sir Mick might tell you and your HIT. SPIT. CUSS. SLAM. THROW. to HEY, HEY, YOU, YOU, GET OFF MY CLOUD!)  Complete unselfishness, them stopping in their tracks what they are/were doing, offering assistance to me, or anyone needing help, when they are on their own, precious time.  Yummy.  Happy Shivers.

Mick, right you are mate.  Happy shivers.  And, ya ain't even gotta have an affliction to be on the receiving end of "anything I can do to help?... can I carry that for you?"  There be really good people out there.

Hey Brainy Quote, I am human, hear me roar.. good people in numbers too big to ignore.

It's my hope, all the booger flickers on the planet, hear "Don't hang around 'cause twos a crowd."  You tell 'em Mick, I'll pat ma foot.

So........... I reckon, Hit spit cuss throw slam, in private.  Don't take nuttin' for granted.  Be thankful for what ya do have. (Victor, you trying to emulate that Olsteen dude?) Nuh uh.  Just thinking out loud.

I hope a bit'a them good, wunnerful humans rubs off on me, us.

All we are is dust in the wind.

(Dust causes boogers, so we needta be careful where we flick 'em!)

By Henry Gibson

Love, Victurd

P-YOUth?

Hardly.

Victor, confused here.  "P-YOUth?"  Thanks, and sorry.  It was intended to be read "P-U, youth?

And, the answer is no.  At least from these stinky shoes - we're in good hands for tomorrow.  I don't know the difference between a dangling participle, a well formed or correctly placed participle - which, has nothing to do with the price of Tea in Tariff'ed China - but, the intent was, Sgt. Shultz "I know nothing" about year/age of Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z, Gen A, yada.

This much I know, and sure, you may have had different experiences - young folks treat myself and my buddies, wonderfully.  They enjoy conversing.  They LISTEN. They tease.  They respect.

We........ old... cranky... imbalanced... "stay off my lawn"..  GD (gosh darn) Government.  "Say, did you know my (hip, knee, shoulder, feet, tummy, bladder, arthritis, vision, hearing, BP, mobility, ABILITY and any other 'ity') ain't what they usedta be."  Victor, why list all those when you coulda simply said "Old grey mare"?  Ahm, stay off my {blog) lawn, wouldya?

I'll be Frank... or, Ralph, or Willie, Nilly, Dilly Dilly.  No, that ain't it. I'll be frank - I'm not so sure WE were as nice to older folks back-in-the-day (but I hope so)... and I know I, for one, looked at older folks as different, not the same.  Whereas, I find, today, younger folks see us a the same, just different.  Kudos young folks.... bailiff, whack the PP of us old turds.

It's the day and age of.................. EV

Some differences...  EV is basically silent.  To me, it's weird being nexta one at a stoplight.  There ain't no noise when they take off.

We, as Babs has pointed out, people who need people - are, in a way, EV's ourselves.  Of course I enjoy hanging out with folks who also remember getting under desks in grade school, the day, the music died, Kennedy too.. old like me, so to speak.

BUT TOO......... Much like cars of today, when your EV is low on juice, or, you're 70-something damn self needs invi(c)goration - HOOKUP with young folks that are in the crowd, all around.

I worried, I truly did, that when I got older - scorn would happen from youngsters, and, ya really couldn't blame 'em, "move over OG, hit the road Jack, don't ya come back no mo' no mo' no mo' no mo'."

Thankfully, we plug in and are rejuvenated by youth.

We old folks, seemingly always have a beef about something, someone, 46, 47, CNN, FOX, Dominique nique nigue I will follow..(No, that one ain't it.)   Mebbe one's beef is "press 1 for English"... "I don't get paid by WalMart, whyinthehell should I checkout my own goods, and.. screw you, I KNOW my zipper is down!"  WE. GRIPE. LOTS. (Just listen to us, old folks.. it ain't crickets.)

When a young person has a beef or an objection - we listen, cause they ain't playing chicken little like us overcooked chickies.

Victor, you're weird.  Did you write this..... ahm, under the influence?

Ahm, no, and yes.  It's 4:41 in morning, of course I ain't had a beer...

But......... this blog came to mind when I did.  It was Father's Day.  We had a huge sale at the golf course where I work.  It was 8 hours of non-stop this, that, this again, that too, again and again and again. We had over 120 golfers by early afternoon, a line for new memberships, ie, twas crazy. My EV body didn't move silently after. Remember, we OG's make pirate noises, it's what we do.  BUT......... my EV needed a charge.

So, YES, I did go have a beer.  Actually 2. (And Victor, is this like when you go to the doctor and they ask about cigs and you say "pack a day" when it's really 2?)  Damnit Jim, guilty, 3.  I was extra tired. We'd temporarily run outta golf carts, the printer where we made sticky things to attach to new members cards stopped working... the day was hair pulling, and yes, I'm hella glad I still have hair.

So........ guilty. I had three beers. Rare is the day I do that, but I did.  The barkeeps had never met me before, which, is fancy for "Here's your Miller Lite Vic (before I sat down, ordered) Happy Father's Day!"....

OK, cry cry wah wah... you know I lost my son in March.  I gotta admit the day had a couple of rough, emotional moments.  A crew of four youthful servers knew that, sensed that.

"Time to go, here's my money."

"Vic, Happy Father's Day, you don't have a tab." They pooled their tips to pay for my 3 beer tab.

OK, I kinda lost it, I admit.  Not proud or certainly not braggadocios that I did, BUT, if ya don't FEEL, the hell is it even worth being here?

One by one they stepped around the bar, came, hugged.

I friggin love young people. 

And, you.

This is just the most recent of a long, long history of young people being nice to me. I'm talking ever since I got old. I think I knew I was old the day I went into McDonalds and ordered a black coffee and the gal said "One Senior coffee coming up."  I thought about spilling some on my pants, suing them, didn't. Ha!

Love, Victurd

Confessions of a baseball nerd.......

The NW Arkansas Naturals we saw..... (feel free to delete, go to sleep, whatever)

Leadoff.....  Rudy Martin.. centerfield.. a 25th round pick in 2014!  $160K bonus, Made it to AAA in 2019 and 2021,,  was released, signed by a Mexican team in 2024... brought back to NW Ark this year, released again to a Mexican team.. brought back again this year.

Javier Vaz.. 15th round, 2022.. $125K signing bonus..  Highest level AA

Carter Jensen........ DH... Catcher as well.. drafted out of Park Hill High School in  3rd round, 2021..  $1.1 million signing bonus.  AA highest.

Gavin Cross..  RF...  9th overall pick in 2022... signing bonus $5,202,900.   Highest, AA

Brett Squires.. 1B.. undrafted free agent outta OU, signed for $75K in 2022.   Highest level AA

Dustin Dickerson.... SS..  8th round in 2023 out of Southern Miss, $197,500 bonus... 11 games with Omaha this year, actually his .316 but, sent back to Arkansas.

Sam Ruta.. 3B, homered in the game we saw... undrafted, 2025.. bonus estimated at $25

Justin Johnson 8th round 2023..  $57L bonus..

Kyle Hayes.. C..  was not drafted..  signed in 2022 from an Independent team in Montana...

BYE~

Porcupines and Chinchillas

Life is..  

Wonderful.

Messed up. 

OH, that's BEAUTIFUL!

No way! That's (for impact purpose only) fucking crazy!

Along with the wonder, splendor, beauty, yum of life, comes "you have GOT to be kidding me. "

Look around. Listen around.

If this is preaching, then so the heck be it.  Of late I have heard, witnessed, so many stories of woe..  really bad things happening to really good people, an example, an early high schooler being teased due to having a parent abandom them?  I mean, come on people.

Just

Play

Nice.

Spread love, for no, and every reason.

Inside the shoes of those around you, outward smiles oft times cloud detecting the mental pirhanas eating from within.

Let's join hands, join forces in, care, concern, love for one another, for no, and for apparent, reason.

We should.

We can. 

Thank you.

Love you.

*Blog note. I trip, often, in communicating a message. The porcupine (there are pricks in life we are left to deal with) and chinchillas (I'd Googled what animal has the smoothest hair, ue, suggesting life should always be smooth.) Sadly, that ain't the case.

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain...

Nah, not going there, the lyrics of that old song, they suck.

Going to NW Arkansas, or, are here (if that's proper English, could be 'am here, frankly my dear....)

It ain't Cancun, Bali, or, Turks and whatever that other name is, but.. it's dayum perty.. looking out, it's like a great big mirror of love staring back at you... the black, now turning grey/blueish up above, peeking down (and up and all around) thru the greenery, to, the rushing river below.

Just as diverse as the scenery, (the rain falling down, the clouds'a goin' one way, the river the other..  all the while God's band plays the instruments - bellowing thunder, there's the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees) are the people here. Family, friends, locals, don't matter, happy just seems to be the theme. Sure, a bit older than the last time we visited, and sadly, the hound pooches aging 7 times as fast. 

Why I am telling all thus, I ain't real sure, but, I think it's "Getaway", as in, sometimes I feel like a nut....no, wait, that ain't it..  sometimes status quo can be an 'ouchie', and we need a getaway from 'getaway from me' same ole same ole.

A booster shot.

Fill er up Ethyl.  

Take this job and shove it (for a week). .

Insteada saying "I need to getaway from you, her, him, them, that, this, same bat traffic, same bat channel, ya just gotta 'wouldn't you like to fly in my beautiful balloon " and go too..... 

This Interstate, that 2 lane (ya don't even cuss when ya get behind a John Deere 'cause yer on a getaway and there ain't no hurry!) That airport, this 'take your shoes and socks off please' (PEW!), hell, it could even be a staycation... Just GETAWAY from me, nuttin personal. 

Any place away where you can stop children what's that sound everybody look what's going down...  no, that ain't it, but, for what it's worth, it kinda is.  You get to a place where you go... 'SSSHHHHH.. LISTEN!'... and all it is is that you ain't whereya was, have been, chained to, bored to tears.

A mini Rip Van Winkle... not three seasons like Gilligan, but, a week, a weekend, when back home you's gettin close to they're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away ho ho, hee hee, ha ha, to the funny farm.

Thanks for letting me tell you this story.  See?  I've been a grumpy asshat of late, I just knew, somewhere in there was a fairly decent egg. 

Arkansas Arkansas I just love old Arkansas..  or Bali..  Puerto Penasco., Upstate NY, Walt's Mecca, this lake, that sea, just gimme the hell outa here for a bit before I cry me a river.

Goodbye Joe, me gotta go... I hear banjo's... jk, it was the band practicin' up for later... first, more coffee, more porch swing Welbutrin,  cipherin whatinthehell bird is this.. shreaks from who knows...  perfection.  I ain't where I was.  

It's kinda like onea them eagles fledging. Eh, ya prolly had to be there.

Be there or be square (in your regular old world), just get the hell away for a short, even if it's simply the tub, some candles, Pandora, a good book and Calgon.

Take me away (occasionally) before they come to take me away.

By Henry Gibson

Forward by the Ozark Mountain Daredevils, AAA, Expedia, Ned Beatty, and..  the Skipper too.

Love Victurd

Thoughts........

Hurry........

To me, it's interesting how perspective can change, be altered as we age.  I remember when I was a termite (much younger), walking in a crowd... if someone infronta me was dilly-dallying (NOT to be confused with 'dilly dilly'ing').. I'd pass em.  If they were afflicted, old, yada, I wouldn't.

Driving.  I really ain't never in a hurry.  I gets my blood pressure all raised up when I observe someone who is, does, drive 'in a hurry'... The 'can't wait' to get upon the tail of the next car, does make me quiver... I can't imagine living like that.  Conversely, I know there are folks behind me in traffic, hollerin' out 'Go back to Golden Acres ya dayum geezer'... "The gas pedal is that one on the right ya OG", Pops, whatever.

One love.  She was sooooooooooooo fun to people watch.  She'd pull in the driveway.  The door would fling open (without it being flung back closed), she'd race, AND I MEAN RACE to pee... there tweren't no pettin' the dog, "Hi, how was your day", it was Katy Bar, I gotta pee. Fun. Damn near every time. Of course, musically, I always thoughta Ray Stevens song when she arrived home.......Oh yes they call her the streak, boogity boogity, fastest thing on two feet, boogity boogity.

If we are blessed to live on into our 80's, 90's, the hell is she (we) we gonna do then? Set them tennis balls on the walker afire from kitchen floor friction?  Boogity boogity.

Hurry up and wait.  Baseball Ray.  Now, they clock the time between pitches. You no getty pitch off in, however many seconds, automatic ball.  Games are hella faster.  Where I work.  A bloody Mary or a long island tea, not too long ago, hand mixed. NOPE.  They're in a can now.  Hurry.  We gotta hurry.

Self checkout, WallyWorld. I like to make the sound of a cow herding with buddies in the pasture. Rollin' Rollin' Rollin', though the streams are swollen, keep  them doggies rollin', Rawhide!

Maybe. Maybe baby, the reason us old codgers ain't too fonda hurrry is that, it's like, "Holy crap, I'm 60?".. .Then, "DAMN, 65?".. STOP, STYMIE HALT.   Slow down, ya move too fast, you got to make the morning last just, kicking down the cobblestones, looking for fun and feeling groovy, ba da da ba da ba da, feelin' groovy.

Groovy?  Ya dayum geezer, get with the times!  Be on toppa things.  Don't rain on my parade Grandpa, oh, and btw, the mullet is back!

Hurry to the barber.  Please?

Do you hurry?  Church.  Sermon going on a bit too long?  Kid's music program.. plan your path to the exit halfway through?  Sex? VICTOR!  Well hell, it just seems sooooooooo many people are in a hurry, can't wait, get the hell outta my way, mebbe they hurry through that too.

Admission - there is one place I get antsy, in a hurry. The golf course. Slow play bugs me. Probably why I suck so much.  Ready golf.  Go, hit ball.  I know I should take more time, Eh, whatever.  Band camp, long, long ago.  Work golf tournament.  One guy in our group, a decent dude, mebbe sometimes he'd exhibit a bit too much confidence in himself.. (yeah, I'm talking like he mighta stood in the mirror on mornings admiring himself).. anyways........ HE. WAS. THE. SLOWEST. GOLFER. EVER.

It was painful to see, play alongside. Ya wanted to holler "COME ON, HIT THE DAMN BALL" but ya didn't. So, I just started humming as he approached the ball.. you know, songs, like In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida baby, Tubthumping, might get me through as he teed it up, hit.  Three of the foursome whispered about his slowness.  All complicated by the fact we had to endure his addressing the ball, 100 to 110 times that day....... continued.....

We were the last group to finish...  All the rest of our work buddies were there on the deck, finished, prolly into their 3rd or 4th beer.  It was still fairly early morn... there was mist still on the ground.  As we walked toward the resta our gang, one'a the beer drinkers looked us up and down, then hollered "Why ain't (enter guy who looks in mirror too much's name here) pantlegs wet? (Us three whisperers, peeked, bottom of our pantlegs, soaked, his weren't.)  Some smartass, maybe a blogger, i ain't sure, answered "His pants dried off while he was addressing the ball."  Message delivered.

Hurry up and wait.

Slow down vacation.  Quit growing so fast ya dadgum grandkids.  

Let's chase each other 'round the room tonight... we'll play the games we played, on our wedding night...    except, we'll use our walkers eh?  That'd make it last longer!

Microwave.  Roomba. Air Fryer. Foreman Grill.  Alexa, do it for me, hurry wouldya?

Nah. Let's take the backroads to Luckenbach.  Red rover red rover, come on over (at your liesure).  Put me back on hold please, I really like that song.

"He who sows hurry, reaps indigestion." Robert Louis Stevenson

HOLY CRAPOLA, OUTTA ROLAIDS.  I GOTTA RUN TO WALGREEN.  BACK SOON!

Love, Victurd

BASEBALL RAY.......... er, JAC........

I love Rock and Roll, put another dime in the juke box, baby.....

I love SPORTS, print s'more newspapers, gimme more talk shows, "Yes Spectrum, I want all  47 Sport's Channels."

Well, kinda.

I love Kansas City... the one that's in Missouri... Oh, I like the one in Kansas too... but they can have their poopy University.  JK, kinda, Schwabby.

Victor, tell me about Kansas City.  Holy crap, did you really just ask that?

Well.....  Hopewell Tradition (various Indian tribes)...  Spanish influence..  The French traded furs under Spanish license...  Lewis and Clark road-tripped after the 1803 Louisiana Purchase.. "Hmm, nice place, the confluence of the Missouri and Kansas Rivers."

(SIDE NOTE, sorry, kinda)..  I have great love ALSO for my City, er, our City, Liberty, Missouri.  At one time, the Mighty Mo River had a big ole bend in it, thus, Liberty Landing - a great place to settle, trade, yada.  Then, them suckers (I ain't sure who) decided, "let's take this dayum bend outta the River, get there faster."  Get where? I dunno, West.  You tell em Horace, I ain't sure. SO......... they rerouted the River for a straighter path, ne'er ever to potentially have Lamar Hunt's Liberty Chiefs, or, Mr. K's Liberty Royals. Damnit darnit.

(KC continued) Incorporated in 1850...... Heap Big Civil War Battles (Biggest West of the Mississippi, The Battle of Westort)... The Pendergast era..  TJ Pendergast kinda ruled roost from 1925 to 1939, did a lotta good, but, like some, he had an allegiance of hardened criminals.  Does ring a bell, eh? Sorry, not sorry,

Victor, BORING, speed it up.  OK Alvin.   Jazz was basically born here.. hella fountains were built ("The City of Fountains") We've got more BBQ restaurants per capita than anywhere on the planet. "Hi, may I help you?"  

Some folks that either grew up here, strolled thru here, lived nearby, you mighta heard of:  Charlie Parker, Ginger Rogers, Ed Asner, Count Basie, Eminem, Walt friggin Disney, Harry S-for-nothing Truman, Charlie seeya-later Finley... Jackie Robinson played for the Kansas City Monarchs before the Majors.. you mighta heard of Ernie Banks, Satchel Paige and Buck O'Neil too.

Tidbits....... invented in KC:  the fire pole, the Bomp Pop, the bumper sticker, Wishbone salad dressing, Hallmark Cards.......... and, the first ever scoreboard to have instant replay (Arrowhead.. we had to prepare for all those Chief's haters that said "they get all the calls", sorry, not sorry)..

Thus, everything's up to date in Kansas City.

Victor, THE HELL?  BASEBALL RAY?  er, JAC?

Oh yeah.  The Legend of Paul Bunyan.  The next Mickey Mantle.  Better'n sliced bread?  We'll see... 

Jac Caglianone, a mountain of a man at 6'5" 250 lbs.  One year ago, the #6 overall choice in the MLB draft.. It's been said, power like The Babe, arm like that Ohtani guy.  Promoted yesterday to the Major League Roster of the Kansas City Royals.

He started the season in AA Ball... the ballpark couldn't hold him, tore it up, hit mammoth homers... promoted 11 days ago to AAA.. . 6 homers last week.

Fans.. National networks.. Sportswriters, everybody and their little brother had hollered, "RED ROVER RED ROVER, SEND CAGS RIGHT OVER."

One of my good buddies, I won't mention names (Tim Tipton).. is a heap big Cardinal fan, he's sucked down bottle after bottle of Rolaids, hollered out damn near ever time I see him "CHEATERS.. you ROYALS ARE CHEATERS".  something about a guy named Denkinger I think.  Anyways, Tip (oops) tells me (about our budding hero), "Two words, Clint Hurdle." To his point, Clint was listed as our (Royal's) savior, "The next Mickey Mantle" and, it didn't quite pan out.

To summaraize.  As the 38th biggest (I think it is) metropolis in these great United States, we, Kansas City, have always had a chip on our shoulder.  We hear "small markets can't compete".. "They're Missouri's AAA ball club."

Ironically, the Royals play tonight, (Cags's first game) in St. Louis against the Cardinals. 

Cags is our "Rah rah ree, kick 'em in the knee, Rah rah rass, kick 'em in the other knee!"...  Our "YEAH BABY!"..    He's our "Wishin' and hopin, and thinkin' and prayin'".. To date, our pitching has been phenominal, our hitting, not-so-much.  Offensive offense, so to speaky.

Two not aforementioned Kansas Citians......... George Brett and Tom Watson...  quoted, offered Cags advice this morning in our Kansas City Star, yodel-deedle ay-hee, that's what they are, "remember, it's just baseball.  Swing easier."

Of course I hope Jac's fast forward doesn't end up like Clint Hurdle... that said, The Mick, after his 13th season, signed a contract for $100,000, largest ever.  Then, he said "You don't ever have to gimme another raise." Ooops.  So five more years without a raise. For my own grins, I looked up Clint Hurdle's net worth.  $10 Million.

Me thinks Cags will exceed that, if he ain't already.

Tonight, like in 1985, 'LET'S GO ROYALS!". It was beautiful. I was there. RIGHT BEHIND HOME PLATE.. well, it was the very last (top) row in the stadium, but, I was there)..   

I'm off to slide down the fire pole, eat me a Bomb Pop, buy some fall off the bone ribs, buy a Get Well card from Hallmark, cross out the "Well" and change it to "Get Over It".. send it to my Tulsa buddy, oops... 

Then, watch FanDuel...... 6:45pm tonight. The I-70 battle.   May The West team Win!

Love, Victurd

Something......

 Something in the way she moves (talks, walks, smiles, breathes, sleeps)

Attracts me like no other lover

Something in the way she woos (moves, talks to, grabs, hugs, kisses, even argues with) me
I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how

Somewhere in her smile she knows
That I don't need no other lover

Something in her style (demeanor, dress, attitude, makeup, disposition, laughter, thirst for life/living) that shows me
I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how

You're asking me will my love grow (how can it not, like, be for real, like a tree with rings, brown spots, sags, wrinkles - all, marks of love)
I don't know, I don't know
You stick around, now it may show
I don't know, I don't know

Something in the way she knows (speaks, listens, treats others, loves her children, holds her grands, attacks bad with good, doesn't get a rise when evil attempts to do just that to her)
And all I have to do is think of her

Something in the things she shows me (humor, humility, glances, touches, talks with her eyes/lips, assurance of 'everything will be ok', loyalty, figuring out I don't have to figure her out)
I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how

By George I think he's got it. It is said, this was Mr. George's only song he wrote for a 'side A' record.

Victor?  The hell was that all about?

I dunno.  Something.  I'll figure it out.

Happy day.......... don't just stand, sit there.  DO SOMETHING.

Love, Victurd