Friday, July 11, 2025

I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, Pepsi... oh, and a Kaleidoscope please....

Depends.....

You.  You there with that smirk on your face... playing the age discrimination card on me, accompanied by a laugh when you coupled Depends with, me, my oldness.  For shame for shame.  JK.  I delight in any/all humor as well.

I ain'ts no's Doctor cause I ain't gots no patience (Shakespeare or Popeye, I forget)... and, I ain't no preacher, so put that puppy to bed as well.

It's all, to me, to folks I see BEING happy - Depends on how you look at things, they see happy.

Kaleidoscopes make me happy.  So do things like - seeing my new neighbor pull in - the gal was driving, her boyfriend hops out too... soon, I see her leading the way up the steps to their apartment - followed right behind by her bf, who, had scooped up their five year old little girl who'd fallen asleep in the car ride.  Happy.  Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue - I (can't) sing a rainbow - but I can type it... as well as look out into the world - for happiness.

(Enter the name of onea my all-time favorite waitresses here) "you are ALWAYS happy.  Are you on drugs?"   "It's not that bad, Vic."   I hate (LOVE) when young punks get it. WAY before they reach the age where they need all them dayum grab bars to get up, handrails to guide them along the way - she/they, done figured it out...

Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue.. I can sing a rainbow.... Sing a rainbow... sing a rainbow too... listen with your ears, listen with your eyes, and SING everything you see!

Two, across the way, coming together, a long, heartfelt hug.  No idear who they are, no idea whatintheheck has, had gone on in their lives - but, a for certain - appreciation, love, "I'm damn glad to seeya, I loveya, I can sing a rainbow too."

Stretches.  Yeah, we awaken in the morning.. .the body unfurls.. us old farts grump, groan - but, deep down we know we are SO very thankful - we even getta do those stretches, issue those grumps and groans - for yet another day.

Ya might go to the K.  That's "Baseball Ray" for all you non-Kansas Citians... STRETCHES.  We done been on long stretches where we might not score more than two runs for a halfa week.. would we loveta win every dadgum game?  SURE... but...  we look across and we catch a little kid... big ole eyes... peering out like he IS looking at a Kaleidoscope...

The kid is on his feet, a hollerin' like crazy for Ketchup (or Mustard, or Relish) in the Hot Dog race...  he aint quite as concerned whatever team in the opponent dugout leads 7-1, HE'S choosing fun,.  He laughs right along with the rest of us when the Kiss Cam happens, the little ole lady is all excited to be in the Big Screen - but, she has to bump ole Harold pretty hard to get him to slide over and give her a smootch.  Happy.  Kaleidoscope.  Red and yellow and pink and green.

Red and yellow and pink and green. Nowadays, that might be the gal at the cash register's hair colors.  Yeah, sure, I admit I was a snooty-pa-tooty when that fad first happened, NOW, I love it. I'm like, why not?  Happy is happy.  Red and yellow and pink and green, try it, you'll like it, you can do it too. (The 'nuh uh, REALLY? geeezer in me still has me working on getting to know, like, the treble hook thru the nose fad.. I just can't help but think about a boy, girl, matching treble hooks, low road.. makin' out.. and, stuck happens.  Victor, quit body shaming and hand over the vice grips.  Hehe.

KIDS.  Kids know happy.  Parents. Parents watching kids know happy.  Grandparents. Grandparents watching their kids watch their grandkids know happy.  Yum, yum and s'more yum.

Teachers - creating, assisting, watching, growth, accomplishment.  HAPPY.  Coaches.  Ten times after (patiently) working on a bad habit, technique, yada - watching the eleventh time and the player has done it perfectly - well hell yeah, nice job kid. (And an internal pat on the back to their self.)

Gatherings.  Gatherings bring happy.  Church, scouts, ballgame, movie, a play, family reunion, class reunion, neighbors around a fire pit.  Smiles.  Happy.  Rainbow. Kaleidoscopes.

Gump happens. Sure.  Go watch the movie, see Forrest run.  You'll giggle.  Not all chocolates in life are yummy, tasty (do like my cousin, turn 'em over, stick your thumb in it, see if it's the kind ya like - if so, down it, if not, flip it back over and they'll never know)

Bumps in the road (throw your arms up like you's on a rollercoaster)... Potholes... ya get a free cuss without having to put a quarter in the cuss jar.  S happens. (You can now get a Sam's card for $20... buy'ya one'a them 112 pack thingys of TP and when S happens, ya don't worry near as much.)  Red and yellow and pink and green - life's a gas.

Mean.  Terse.  They, it, lives among us.  Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune so no one will suspect, I'm afraid.   No, wait, that ain't it. Mean, terse people are out there. Dunno why, don't unnerstand, but, they are.  Pretend likeya got noise canceling headphones, uh huh.  Works.  Or, look at 'em, pretend they're nekked, and laugh. Red and yellow and pink and green, freckles and acne and moles.  I can sing a rainbow.

Yes, I'm aware there are occasions, times, one needs to be serious.  I go overboard the other way too much mebbe - but I still like me.  And when you can't be, with the one you love, love the one you're with (yourself).. .doo do doo do, doo do, da doo. Right Mr. Stills?

I gotta go.

Just looked in the mirror.  The grey in my beard is bugging me.  I know it shouldn't. Oh well.  I'm thinking about..... mebbe...     Red?  Yellow?  Pink?  Green?  Or hell, might shave it off all together, get me one'a them treble hooks, see if I can get stuck to an old gal my age thataway.

I can see clearly now the rain has gone.  I can see all obstacles in my way.  Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.  It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day.

By Henry Gibson

Love, Victurd

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I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, Pepsi... oh, and a Kaleidoscope please....

Depends..... You.  You there with that smirk on your face... playing the age discrimination card on me, accompanied by a laugh when you coup...