(Come on, baby, do the Loco-motion)
Hi, my name is Victor, and I'm a wordaholic. Sorry, kinda, really not. Or knot, your call.
When my stinky feet hit the floor as I awakened this morning, the word GATHER was on my brain.
Victor? The locomotion)? Everybody's doing a brand-new dance (Brand new like in 1962 when this song came out... and then, Little Eva? In the Library? With a Candlestick?
No clue, pun mebbe intended.
Gather is one'a my favorite words. My favorite definition of this versatile word is inference. "I gathered that." It means we ain't just sitting there going thru the motions of life, it means our brain has been thinking. we deduct.
Littie Eva, The Locomotion Singer from 1962, the "Everybody's doing" made me think of fads. Everybody is gathering. Hula Hoops (right Eva?), pet rocks, beanie babies, baseball cards Ray, shoes (ain't that so Imelda?).......
We spend a lifetime, mosta the time not on purpose, of gathering. Some call it shopping. Others, garage sale'ing. I've even heard hoarding.
Then, we age. When we age, we shrink. Victor, judging from years of observing same, we gathered that. Yeah, I usedta be 5'11" I think. I could dunk a tennis ball (in the basketball goal.. my hands were too dayum small to 'palm' a basketball, which, is fancy for - I couldn't jump that high. NOW, the only thing I dunk are Little Debbie chocolate donuts, into my coffee, then, into my mouth.) We're gathering you've wandered Victurd, get back on task, subject.
Oh yeah, shrink. We start in small apartment as a youth. We find someone, smooch. Think, holy crapola that felt good, let's get a big apartment, we'll smooch fulltime. From this smooching, we gather kids. And bedrooms, and bathrooms. Usually, 3BR, 2BA. Stairsteps - we want to age quickly, so, we buy a house with hella steps, grow old, tired of em real quick.
The kids, one by one, run off. College. Job Corp. Fort Polk. Herkimer meets, smooches Annie, wow (they think, feel), so then they too run off... get an apartment.. Polk Salad Annie and Herkimer.
So there......... there in that bigass house you just had to have, with all them damn stairs, and all that stuff you've gathered. Sure, I see absolutely nothing wrong with you having 63 candlestick holders (right Eva), or, 954 pounds of baseball cards in the closet of the spare bedroom, right Uncle Albert? (That's now spare bedroom #2 because the kid that was in the 2nd biggest bedroom started smooching, enjoyed, ran off, thus, that became spare bedroom #1.)
So... (Remember, in this case, saying, writing 'So', leads to deduction, inference, gathering.) You don't tell Mable NOT to buy that 64th candlestick because you remember way back to when you smooched more frequently, and, mebbe you could do that again if she bought another.
You don't tell Albert "For criminy sakes man, you don't need no more stinking baseball cards" because, if he goes to a card show, spends hours walking, visiting, reliving his long ago childhood - when he comes home he'll be too dayum tired to chase you 'round the room tonight to play the games you played on your wedding night.
So, deduct/gather, we age/gather as we do, live the up/down world, gathering more steps as we do... we hear little footsteps months after we smooch... feed 'em, learn 'em best we can.. then them feet run off... sometimes it ain't forever (they've gathered too much debt, "Can I stay in the basement just till I get back on my feet?")......
Then, one day....... long, long after we've marked them marks to measure us on the wall as we grow... our bodies, thanks to walking up hella too many steps, thanks to enjoying smooching hella too much and the results it brings - we've shrunk but for whatever reason we don't input them smaller measurement marks going the other direction on the wall.
Tired. Old. My pat answer today when someone asks, "How ya doin?".. Tired and old. They'd prolly gathered that though.
Mable, let's move to a ranch, get ridda all these stairs. Good idea Albert, but only if you'll take all them dayum baseball cards to GoodWill, or, give 'em to Herkimer and Polk Salad Annie, or, even little Herk or little Annie. If you get ridda 'em, the sun'll come out tomorrow, right Annie?
Well Mable, I guess I can agree to that, but then, you fetch (gather) all them dayum candlesticks up, take 'em and melt 'em down for bucks or give 'em to Annie, or Savers, yada, I don't care - we ain't gots room for ballcards or candlesticks in our ranch house.
Might as well.................. can't dance.
Everybody's doing a brand-new dance now(Come on, baby, do the Loco-motion)I know you'll get to like it if you give it a chance now
(Come on, baby, do the Loco-motion)
So...... all of the above is how the circle of "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here" starts, happens, collects dust, candlesticks, baseball cards, stairs, stares, keeps realtors rich, plumbers plumbing.
A little diddie... 'bout Mable and Albert.. two American kids gathering the best they can.
A smooch to you, love, Victurd
(Tune in tomorrow, or, whenever procrastination allows, to ascertain whythehell folks that aren't into 'hunting and gathering', maybe even to the point of not liking venison, belonging to PETA, are so enthralled with all those TV Shows on Alaska.)
