Tilted his head... peered down, over his specs.. mumbled "I don't want to live to be 90."

So, some time later... when he reached the ripe old age of 89 years, 364 days, they tapped him on the shoulder...  queried.....

Ya sure?

I am haunted, quite lovingly, by songs that come into my brain.... I ain't real sure why they stay in there...  seems stuff like common sense goes in one of my ears, then quickly bootscoots, out the other.  Music, however, gets trapped in there.

Today, that Beatle guy Paul keeps hitting 'play' and I'm hearing "It's just another day...  du du du du du du, it's just another day, du du du du du du, it's just another day."

Then again, it ain't.

I ain't real sure if he invented it.... but a gal in my HS class, her dad was a PE teacher, coach, upbeat, really positive feller.  When anyone would start a seemingly bemoaning sentence with "I've got to (do this, go there, take this kid to practice, be to the meeting by..."  He'd stop them... and say "No, you get to...."

I likes his style. And, outlook.  Life, outlook, it's a fitty fitty thing.  There be heads, tails.  Roulette and it's red, black.  Plugging in a USB cord.  "Damnit, why do I always try it the wrong way the first time."

Woke up, fell out of bed. (Hey, was that McCartney too?).. Actually, yes, it was.  John sang "I read the news today, oh boy" part, and then Paul the distinct middle refrain "Woke up, fell outta bed."

Back to fitty-fitty.  Is this where you put on your Joel Olsteen mask Victor?  Bite me.  When we awaken, we can be glad, thankful we're here...... enjoy the day, smile our booties off at folks......... or, we can cuss... hawk.. spit (in the trash can).. decide to make our day (and everyone we come in contact with, miserable.

I've got to do another day.

Nope, time out, stymie halt, we GET to do another day.  We ain't gotta be excited to the point of the Pointer Sisters "I'm so excited.. I just can't hide it"....  but, makes no sense to piss in the Corn Flakes...  Mikey won't like that, those.

I asked AI (somehow, they've leapfrogged Dewey Decimal, AOL, Yahoo and Google) "How many people will fall in love today?"  (Price of tea/China - wouldn't that, shouldn't that, give just cause for wakin up happy?)

AI begged off the question, yes, those half-steppers did.  "Impossible to count"... "Subjective, what one considers love, another might see as attraction or infatuation."  I called Wiki. That didn't help, so, I called BS.

2.5 million get married a year.  It's estimated half of all in love, headed for marriage, move in, shack up for, of course, an undefined time.  So let's assume another half of the ones getting married, move in together, are happy, sappy to do so.  That's 3.75 million.  

Dear Dewey, AOL (remember that noise?) Yahoo, Google, and, you chicken AI you... that's roughly 10,273 that will fall in love today.  Cause, that's just cause to be happy.

9,863 that were in the womb yesterday, will be on full display today.  Every day that happens.  Very true, their fitty-fitty when waking up ain't really too happy (they cry a tad).. it ain't long 'fore they learn how to smile... and an ever shorter time to focus and see the reaction on others faces when they do smile.. . so, they do so more.  They CHOOSE to.

You've "got to go" to the hospital today to see your (brother's kid, sister's, friend's, neighbor's, coworkers, classmate's, yada) kid.  No, you get to,

It just makes sense to awaken, choose happy.  We gotta.  If not, there's sumpin' amuck in our Medulla Oglongata, eh?

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.  Ahm, OK, I guess.  Even at that, it means you're happy roughly 75 to 85% of the time.  Ya might call an exterminator to get ridda them Carpenter ants. 

It's a beautiful morning.......  I'm a believer....  Good day sunshine..   I feel good...    What a wonderful world......

You are getting sappy....... very sappy.....

And, the problem with that is?

(Standby one... I'm querying Brainy Quotes on happiness... but... the computer stopped, asked ME to 'put an 'X' here, prove you're human..  I hate when I gotta do that.  VICTOR, you GET to do that.  Oh yeah, forgot, thanks Pollyanna.)

"Some cause happiness wherever they go, others, whenever they go."  Oscar Wilde (Oscar, I hope that ratio ain't fitty fitty.)

"Happiness depends upon ourselves"  Aristotle.  (Right you are Ari, and, many older folks are happiest when they find Depends upon themselves and 'uh oh' happens.)

"If you want to be happy, be."  Leo Tolstoy.

On a serious note (that legal here?)..  I dunno about you...  but the sand, hourglass reminder helps me...  whenever I hear 'argue', I run, don't walk.  If the news on the News is crappy, I fetch ma' remote. I kinda sorta refuse to spend anytime at all wallering in ugly.

Some time ago........ I went online...   there's a site where you can input all about yourself...  habits, eating, drinking, sleeping, smoking, etc... along with your health history, and, those of your relatives...  then, they predict when you will keel.  I was honest.  Yes, even told 'em about the pack and a half of the cigs a day. OK DAMNIT, two packs.  I may not make it to 90. In fact, those basta's said I got fitty-one days left! (Projected Snagglepuss exit stage left, age 72.)

I can tellya, I gotta smile every day when I awaken.  

Yes Victor, and you get to as well.

To everything, urn, urn, urn, there is a season, urn, urn, urn.  Don't worry, be happy!

Love, Victurd

Fall........

Means alot, or, many different things...

Googly eyes, pitter patter over another......

A buncha water going from a high spot to a low spot, where the path has ended and gravity takes over.

I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down.

A season of the year, where those in a tropical climate could give a rats.  Those having 4 differn't, unique seasons - Fall is the respite from heat, AC bills out the ying yang. Poets say it's the second Spring when every leaf is a flower.  Us geezers think, "Mildred, if Fall is here, means Winter is'a comin'.  Let's sell the damn snowblower, head for Corpus Christi, Mexico, Destin, somewhars, but not here."

Dow Jones. Spinnin' Wheel.  Newton and his gravity crap.  And, long about the 60's, 70's, when chickies wanted thicker, fuller hair - there was an add-on, or fall.

In fall seriousness.  As we age, falling.  Balance (lack thereof) is the number one thing that keeps people from continuing to age in place, er, home.  One of the better chaps eva' from Liberty, MO 4 or 5 days ago, fell, broke his hip.  He'd already been thru hell healthwise, didn't need this add on. (More)

I'm no physical therapist, nor MD, whatever - but, a year or so ago I went with friends on a contracted catamaran - and, the Captain gave wonderful advice on maintaining balance. "Always have three points of contact" (both feet, one hand... two hands, one foot.. when boarding, disembarking, or moving around the vessel."  As one who fits the bill (old... also per chance, afflicted) I do this at home and it really really helps me, at least too, falling, or, trying not to, is always on my mind.  I even take Tim Conway old man steps when getting in, outta the shower, I don't care, helps.  Done preaching, sorry, not sorry.

Back to Fall... the Weather one.. that most peeps associate with. Don't get excited, mosta the below, all stolen, as in plagiarized. 

Oh my gourd, I LOVE Fall!  Pumpkin kisses and harvest wishes.  I only have pies for you.  Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about.  There are two times of year, Autumn and waiting for Autumn. Fall is my favorite color.

"As long as Autumn lasts, I shall not have hands, canvas and colours enough to paint the beautiful things I see."  Vincent Van Gogh.   We hearya Vince, oops.  Victor - that was sick, stop.  Eh, sorry. Nobody reads this crap anyways so it's fallen on deaf ears.  Oops again, sorry.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS IN FALL?

AC technicians and baseball players on really crappy teams plan, take, vacation. Housewives unite, drink wine, but only after they've helped (shoved?) their little ones out to hop on yellow busses.  School teachers, 'specially them new ones, follow the stern advice "Don't smile until Christmas."

Small towns, big towns, inbetween size towns, all the folks gather for Friday Night Lights. Queens and Kings are crowned, Orthopedic surgeons pad their bank accounts.

The Autumnal Equinox.  <The hell is that? Leaves get perty, then fall. Festivals. Bobbin' for apples. Most women, and, at least one fat, redheaded old man I know, would kill for a funnel-cake.

Goblins come out. We're forced to either smell their feet or give 'em sumpin good to eat.  Germans gather, get drunk. (How do you know that Victor SCHULTZE?)  I know nothing.

Harvest.  Where have all the produce pickers gone, long time passing.  Victor, that was political, you said you wouldn't do that any more. Sorry. Slipped. Fell out, I mean, Falled out. Birds get ready to fly South, turkeys ready to run for cover. WalMart puts Christmas crap out.

Ma and Pa use the heavier blankets, yet, still, snuggle up to borrow some'a that body heat.  Thus, lotta snotnoses pop out 9 months after Fall begins.  Were you aware, since 1997, Autumn has been one of the top 100 names for girls?  Me neither.  AI, Wiki both said it, gotta be true then. I never checked Snopes to see if it was FALLse.

We repeat the phrase, Spring Forward, Fall Backward.  Herkimer changes the battery.  Daylight Savings, bye bye.  Night falls quicker, seemingly longer.  Golfers bitch.  Us older drivers can't see the white lines on the way home from Cracker Barrel.  There's good and bad.

Raindrops keep fallin' on ma' head.......... Come, in outta the rain you idiot.

The past tense of 'fall' is fell. The present tense is fall, or falls.  The future tense is 'will fall'..... so, be sure and use three points of contact.  Yes, even you Vincent.  Are you listening to me?

Sorry. Kinda.

Kinda hungry.  Think I'll have a snack.  Ear of sweet corn in the microwave for three minutes sounds good. Then. Nap.  I hope no trouble FALLing a sleep.

Have a great season, love, Victurd

45 with no do-overs.....

First, I hate when old people tell me what to do......

That said!......

October 13, 1997, I turned 45.  Misty, I pray.  I pray things don't go for you family wise as they did for me - but, I include because of our repeated reminder in/of life and how fleeting it is, can be.

At 45, I'd only get a year and a half more with my sister before breast cancer would take her.  We had a great relationship - but had I known then what I know now, I'd'a texted her, called her, used the word Love (which we always did) with way more frequency.  I would not let 'tired, lack of sleep, rough day at work, ANYTHING, get in my way of family.

Same for my father.  I got to have him another 6 years.  He taught by example, not "Do this don't do that can't you read the sign" and I loved him for it.  I really don't think we ever had an argument.

My marriage was going from, eh, OK, to really sour - split up in three more years.  While I certainly attribute that to shared mistakes - I'd give anything to go back and work on myself and how to be a better husband, person, father, brother, son. I don't think we can ever discontinue on working on our own person to be the very best we can be.  Do as I say, not as I did!

I've used the phrase "Grab em by the collar" to make sure they're listening - and I happen to observe, think, you have a WONDERFUL marriage - but if ever anything pops up really ugly, really bugging you, he, grab 'em by the collar. Not literally of course.  I wish she woulda stopped me, grabbed me by the collar when it was going South, and vice versa, I wish I woulda known the right thing to say, suggest.  Counseling.  We never did, shoulda.  

All of this, yes, is very depressing but honest to goodness I feel blessed in life.

One do-over I would surely do it to plan better financially and get the hell outta Dodge (work) as early as is possible.  You're already quickly moving toward both of those goals - KUDOS.  It's a lot of work, it's a lot of self $acrifice, but glory to the song by Frank, "I did it my way."

I happen to think, and always have, you are one of the most "I've got it all together" people I know.  Don't ever doubt that.  Don't waste time beating yourself up.  I know, at least a bit ago, there was struggle with oldest.  Just be there for him.  Now, he needs you there more than ever.  I know you'd never leave his side, and one of my proudest thoughts is, I never left my son's side when everyone else, and I mean everyone, did.

SURE, guilt.  What could I have done differently?  How could I have changed him?  Normal questions, and for sure, explore any, every way you can to assist him...  but too, he's gonna be him, on his own pace.  Give him your smile and your love - often.

I kinda think we are alike in how we deal with, subsist, get by with having to deal with folks, work, wherever, that grate on us.  That unique ability to listen, smile, all the while thinking "Fuck you very much",  Keep on keepin' on, it ain't worth the argue.

Dealing with those I admire, love, am thankful for - I coulda done better.  I noticed it wasn't until my father got Parkinsons at age 70-something that allowed him to show emotion, toss the L word with more frequency.  I'm an emotional idiot. I cry easily.  I don't go thru visitation lines for that very reason. I go. I sign book. I sit in back.  

As far as verbalizing, telling those I love (friend, family or otherwise) I think I coulda done better, earlier.  Guys struggle telling guys they love them.  I hope women don't.  Sure it can be uncomfy and it doesn't have to be the L word - just simply letting someone that you love, admire, have fun with, know...... how much you appreciate them.  Do as I say, not necessarily as I've done - but,  I am better with this as I've aged.

Listen.  Listen for key words, compliments, people say about you.  Store them in a place you can bring them up with frequency.  We all know the harmful things people have said to, about us, and how they are etched in our brain forever - do the same with the good things.  Admit to yourself, "By golly, I AM a pretty damn good person!" (And you are.)

Trust yourself.  You've demonstrated over the years, that works.  Keep doing so.  

I really ain't got no great idea why I'm doing this 'cause you don't need my help, anything from me, you are WAY MORE attune to life, how to, what to, when, than I ever was, have been, am, even now.  We can always learn I guess.

Only one time in all the years I've known you I 'heard' self doubt.  Don't do that.  You're a tremendous person.  I guess that would be the biggest point of my writing.  Don't doubt yourself. You bad, you badass! (meaning those in a very good way.)

I talk too much, but, we've always known that.  That said, don't take for granted what you have.  Like, legs for instance.  It's a 'simple thing', but it really ain't.  I can't walk a block. Walk a block, and be thankful you can.  

My mom had a stroke, lost use of her left arm.  Pat yourself on the back with frequency, with both arms, be thankful you can use both of em.

Write uplifting notes to those you love, admire. Hide em in places you know they'll find, read, draw smile, uplift.  We can't control the weather, but we can help on whether or not someone has a good day or not.

Oh, and if you and Terry are to the financial point my buddy got to, heed his planner's advice.  "Do you and your spouse fly first class?"   Why no, of course not.  "Your kids are gonna."  Go, do, which I know you guys have been.

Oh, and get yourself a Basset hound, I've heard they're really fun, rewarding!

All of the above meant well, not in any way meant to bemoan, demean, whadever.  You're a wonderful person, many... many think so.

Happy Birthday!

Criminy.......... him again........

It is of note, I don't think as many people come here to read as usedta. I say that, then, I go look at numbers... I lost or forgot or blogger screwed up - the first years of my blog, so all the stats, blogs lost. Prolly a good thing.  Today I looked at the numbers for Part B of my blog - and, mebbe they ain't tailed off that much... the year by year graph looked kinda like DJT's signature actually - and I don't mean nuttin' political.

This much. I write, really, for myself.  Sure, I love when people read. Sure, it's a perk if someone comments.  My goal is to try to present positive - and if it rubs off on me (and mebbe you) all the better.

It shows 25,202 have read (and that's recorded since 2022), but, I bet a damn third of those are me clicking to reread, make corrections, additions, yada... Victor... this is really boring. On with it.  True.  Life, sometimes, vely boring.  OK.

I found a lady's blog about life and how fleeting it is.  Below is her take, with, of course, my wiseacre comments interjected.

Life is fleeting - 5 ways to slow it down.

Impermanence. 

As in embracing the temporary state of, well, everything. To flow with the ebbs and surrender to change. To marvel at it, actually. If you sat still on the edge of life and watched it unfold like a movie in fast-forward, everything changes. Accept impermanence. 

She's a good, rosy, writer. My take though, "If I sat still on the edge of life (the bed) and, someone said, 'Now here's how the next 5, 10, 25, fitty years are going to go' I'da said YOU HAVE GOT to be kidding.  On the inside, YES, aware, change is happening, gonna happen, that don't mean I can't fight it....... gripe about it like we old people are sposeta!

Presence.  

As in being fully present. While in a yoga pose recently, my instructor said, “pause, let yourself have the experience. How triggers, judgments, discomfort, and worry about the future can put us into old stories and patterns that snap us out of being present.

If my Yoga instructor told me to pause, let yourself have the experience, I'da SCREAMED!  DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCRUCIATING IT IS FOR ME, NORMALLY WAY UP THERE, TO BE WAY THE HELL DOWN HERE, no dayum footstool, folding chair, yada, to helps me up?  Get a life teach!  Mebbe I'll pause when watching my grands, sitting on the deck, whilst in my easy chair biting my nails as I watch the Royal's bullpen finalize the results.

Simplicity..  

As in keep things simple. Do you ever notice how there’s not enough time to get any of it done when things feel too busy or complicated? If you slow things down, simplify, take one step, one piece, one chunk, one bite at a time, it helps. So, then even as time flies the way it does, simplicity brings some ease. Things feel and are more doable. Keep it simple.

I'm admittedly pretty selfish.  I mostly do what I want, when I want.  Sure, 'have to's' within there, but, most too are 'want to's.'  Ain't that what we, old retired folks are sposedta do, think like? My niece actually did helps me with an idea on housecleaning. "Instead of doing it all at once, pick out one thing to do once the next commercial comes on."  Worked, for awhile.  Then, I splurged for commercial free Netflix. That'll learn her!

Voice

As in listening to your own wisdom and expressing it. Using your voice. People talk a lot about wanting to find their voice. Sometimes it takes a big life shakeup for your voice to finally be so loud and pure you can’t hear anything else. That’s when you know.

You never had to find your voice, you just had to listen to what was there all along. There, drowned out by expectations from others, society, history, and a concocted version of a voice you thought was yours, or you wanted to be yours, based on someone else’s voice you admired.

Until the thing happens, the big thing, and suddenly you surprise yourself with your own voice. That voice, your voice, is crystal clear. And loud. So, you declare. You express in a way you perhaps haven't before.

Ahm, excuse me while I kiss the skies.  No, that ain't right.  Ahm, excuse me while they kiss my a.... no, not that either.  BUT, I am so happy to have grown up in the challenge authority (within reason), "ask WHY?" era...  Tain't no one gonna tell a Boomer how to think, act, what to say, 'model me' - FORGET YOU! Sure, we can learn from both younger and older, sure, many, many ways to skin a cat....  there's a frequent ambulance chaser advertising attorney in KC, his name is Mike and the theme is "MIKE'S GOT THIS."  We Boomers in life, WE GOT THIS.  Not being so crass as to say go to HE-Double-Toothpicks, just don't try to force no thoughts, means, ways upon us.

Curiosity....  As in stay curious. Question. Play. Wonder. Curiosity expands a creative life. 

OK, I'll buy a chunka that one.  Where's Waldo?  Who shot JR? (Kristin).. Who wrote the book of love? (I ain't real sure. I'm torn between Meatloaf, "And now I'm prayin' for the end of time" and, the vows I had to learn for marriage #1, "Entreat me not to leave thee, or return from following after thee, for wherever thou goest, I will go."  Remember Willoughby the dog from Looney Tunes and his "Which way did she go, George, which way did she go?"  VICTOR TMI!  Eh it's life.  Life happens.

Victor, probably the next thing you're gonna do is try to get us to buy swampland in Florida, or, a bridge somewhere.......

Actually, YES, as in the 59th Street Bridge by ole Paul and Art, said it all about slowing life down, we don't need no stinking 5 ways......... just one song and we learnt it shortly after the Beatles landed ashore... long about 1966:

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feeling groovy
Ba da-da da-da da-da, feeling groovy

Blogging is a love of life, and a love for you.......

Love, Victurd

Get your motor runnin'..........

Head out on the highway
Looking for adventure
In whatever comes our way

Text chain, Tulsa buddy......

He:  How's your car?

Me:  My ex's hubby tried fixing for 2-3 hours, nice of him, no luck, had it towed to my trusted mechanic shop last night. No answer this morning. Crap. Guy in my hs class drives for O'Reilly, told me "sign on door 'Closed today, open tomorrow ', so, soon, me and the powered old man scooter i bought with 300 lb limit, can go 12-24 miles on a charge) are going to go get groceries and cigs. Gotta cross 4 lane 291 Hwy, read Missouri law, its ok if speed limit 45 or less (its 45). So, headed out soon. WAY MORE than you wanted to know, but, that's me!

He:  Why don't you have (Enter name of guy who don't like his name on FB, here... Tommie... oops) or someone take you?

Me:  Imposition, and, I'm kinda excited to try.  Uber is only 6 bucks,  but, 3 stops and I'm a tightwad.

He:  Tightwad and you bought a scooter?

Me:  I bought it for Silver Dollar City and the grandkids.  Worth every bit of the $200 I paid.

Ring, ring......  Oh, Hi Tulsa buddy!

He:  Vic, if it was your buddy and he needed a ride, you'd do it wouldn't you?

Me:  Sure

He:  Then call someone.

Me:  One buddy already offered.  I fibbed a tad "I'm good, got cigs, food."  I actually need cigs, food.  Well, need food, want cigs.

He:  You are the most hardheaded person I know.

Me:  LOL (and, thinking to self, and people are just figuring this out?)

Soooooooooooooooooooo...........  My nifty Knee Rover fully charged....  In the basket (the basket is about big enough to put Dorothy's dog in it.. remember Toto?) I have my charger in case the scooter dies.  Shouldn't.

Cigs? Check......  Billfold.. Si...   Phone, yep...   Teeth?  In..   Note to put in mechanic's key drop? Uh huh.

Got my motor runnin'
Head out on the sidewalk
Looking for adventure
In whatever comes our way

Yeah, darlin' gonna make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space

What if my friends see me doing this?  Victor, you're 72.  I think by now most kinda know you.  Yeah..  

Down past the Corner Bar...  sidewalk infronta the Police Station.  "Hi Guys!"..  Cross Mill Street. Cinchy.  Behind Franklin School..  Thru the City Park.  Drum roll......... 4 lane, 291 Highway to cross... cars going 45mph. Gulp.  Thought "all clear", started to go, WOW, glad i didn't.  That woulda left a mark.

Made it.

I like smokin cigs and lightnin'
Heavy metal thunder
Racing with the wind
And the tree that I'm under

Yeah, darlin' gonna make it happen
Take the world in a love that's giggly
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into Piggly Wiggly

Folks in the aisles looked at me funny.  Kinda gave me that up and down look, which, had to be kinda circular due to my rotundness.  Steak that was on sale, already cooked fried chicky, cheese, cookies, bread.  Had to throw Toto out for it to all fit.  jk, I don't have a pet.

Back across 291, cinchy.  Thru the cemetery, down Mill, to Cody's or whatever it's called now for cigs. No one stole my food whilst I went in.  One big hill to go, home.  Not enough power to go up the hill, musta been that 8 oz steak.  Got off, pushed. HOME! 

Was gonna send Nanny Nanny Boo Boo text to Tulsa friend, will just send him this link instead.

This much I know.  The day is coming, people will call, baby wrecks, fender benders will happen, maybe even a ticket or three.  Nieces, ex, someone, will say "Hand over the car keys you old geezer."

I'll be good with that.  I gots my freedom with the Knee Rover Mobility Scooter. Y'aint gettin them keys.

Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Looking for adventure
In whatever comes our way

Yeah, darlin' gonna make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space

I wasn't really Born To Be Wild......... but........ perhaps..  Born To Be Hardheaded.

Catch me if you can!

(I get bored. Sorry, kinda)

Love, Victurd

Welcome to heap big casino buffet......

"Eat as much as you desire Sir, we just ask that you get a new plate each time you get more food."

MARK.  SET.  GO-BBBBBLLLLEE! (The one where I went had CRAB LEGS!... I didn't/don't eat 'em, I hate fish, crustaceans, but, just wanted you to get the gist of the situation, excitement, yum, happy, yada)

Of course we all demark the moments of life.  Granny in Parenthood and her love for the rollercoaster.  Garth has his friends in low places where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases his blues away, and he'll be ok.  Judy, admiring that bluebirds fly over the rainbow, why can't she.

Yum happens.  Oh my, I really enjoyed that date.  I think I'm gonna think about you every moment, every second, for the resta my life.  Remember THAT feel?  Bless those of you still feeling it, er, or, living it.  We all remember those moments even if things didn't work out - but golly gee - good, great in the meantime.

Fan, or course, is a shortened version of Fanatic.  I am that. You? Don't gotta be sports, can be anything?  One buddy, walking up to 'a buffet in life', is, selling a nifty new (enter 6 different kind'a new cars here) car off the showroom floor.

Anudder friend, he's takes his "Go Pro" on his head as he drives his ATV across the property, and, he follers HIS little 'buddy' as he barks, swims, wags, turns around to make sure "You watchin' me?".. this venture, that brook, jump here, chase there..  stick, must get stick.  Happily does, must take stick home.  Film me dad.  Done deal.  AND THEN, our buddy posts his videos of HIS buddy on Facebook and WE ALL ARE AT THAT BIG BUFFET AT THE CASINO.............. YUM................... more, edge of chair yet, relaxing... in love with buddy from the first time we laid our eyes on his four paws...  It's good, all good.

And even anudder buddy, let's call him "Mr Successful I got'ma own App"... he has a rollout (akin to heap big casino buffet)... sits back, mebbe thinks, "I did that.  Well, I didn't do dat by myself, but, if it tweren't for me, we wouldnt'a done dat." Grab another plate David, deserving.

Kids, or, grandkids, fetched up in the SUV or whaddever ya drive, all about the town at Christmas time at night...... lookin' at that buffet of life - (how do you spell oooh?  I guess like that).. Ooohhhs and ahhhhs at the clever, gorgeous, displays about roofs, eaves and yards.  For us old farts, it's a life moment you getta be a young fart again.  I can dig it, he can dig it, she can dig it, we can dig it, you can dig it, oh let's dig it.

What else?

Kool-Aid Kool-Aid, tastes great, which I had some, can't wait!

Binge watching into the wee hours until you find yourself needing a toothpick to keep the eyes propped open, and you find two empty popcorn bags by your side..  Don't care, as in, not a care in the world when you start watching, and whomever (or is it whoever, help me cousin English teacher!) calls, texts, rings the doorbell, NOPE.. I'M AT THE CASINO BUFFET, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, PHONE ON SILENT, FEED THE DADGUM DOGS (AND FER SURE THE DAYUM CAT) I DON'T WANNA MISS A MINUTE OF THIS SHOW.  YUM. GO-BBBBBBLLEEE~!

The Royals.  Youi talking England Victor?  Nope, but if that's your gig, git jiggy wit' it.  I'm talking baseball Ray.  Victor, they're only 2 games over 500. I know, EXCITING AIN'T IT! (Long time, no stand in line at buffet in our fine City).  Or, your team, the Cards, the Cowboys, the 49'ers,  Packers, Vikings, Lakers, and yes Lisa, even the Red Wings........YUM, GOBBLE.  FEED ME SEYMOUR.  I'M A FAN(ATIC).

A bit personal now, sorry not sorry.  I sit now (home alone), my car decided to take a break.  Give me break.  Give me a break, break me off'a piece'a that Kit Kat Bar and had a tow truck fetch car to the mechanic's shop.  Victor, that don't sound like no HEAP BIG CASINO BUFFET moment.  Well, no... and yes.

Many aware I lost my son St. Patty's Day of this year.  That car that's in the shop.  It's probably there because my son and I took it on hella trips, here, there, lotsawheres. Like any parenting, child relationship, it wasn't always rosy.  After work daily (he didn't drive).. I'd pick him up, or if he didn't have to work, we'd still go on a 'Spin', 7 days a week (unless like on rare occasions,, I had an itchy itchy rash, or, 7+ inches of snow or mebbe my boomerang wouldn't come back.)..  "Where you wanna go today dad?".. I dunno, airport (my fav) maybe?... OK, let's, but, tomorrow, can we drive through dwntown Excelsior? (son's fav)..  Sure.

So, we did.  We had that daily buffet.  Airport, Excelsior, Smithville, Lathrop, St. Joe, Cameron, Weston, Platte City, Leavenworth, Parkville, Downtown KC on Saturdays (where he worked for years and he'd guide me about), the Plaza, Westport, Ward Parkway (WOW, look at the size'a them houses!), Richmond, Orrick, Independence, Blue Springs, Oak Grove, etc, etc, you name the Burb, we went there, multiple times... even a long spin to Eureka Springs, AR.  A smorgasbord of life, grabbing a new plate, each and every day.  Yum.  Gobble.

Sure, tons of moments in life that plain suck.  Gotta friend that just got let go from her job for I have no idea why.  Sent a message, 'I'm sorry. you're a good hard worker, great with people, baby setback, you'll be back on your feet in no time." Before she could reply, she was already working again, back on her feet - yum.

The moments, they ain't all rosy - but, when they are, YUM.   FEED ME SEYMOUR, OH, AND I GOTTA NEW PLATE.

Even in times of dispair (Flat tire Victor?) Funny ha ha.  No, Ahmed.  Ahmed from Uber came thru, got me to work at 6:15am yesterday, tipped accordingly.  After work, Uber not so rosy.  Cheapy size car with cheapy rate, unavailable.  Next size up size, with next size up cost, nope. Sorry.  Glamour, deluxe size, YES, we're available, arm/leg and tip cost, but also, 40 minutes away.  Like my stepson usedta' say, "Not No's, but hells no's."

I'll download the Lyft app, surely they gotta buffet too?  DID, at 30% of the cost for Uber's glamour size, and, driver 4 minutes away.  Left me with enough bucks I could tip him an amount he could mebbe go have a heap big casino buffet.

Gotta run. Happy day.  Hungry. Wonder if the Golden Corral is open yet?

Love, Victurd

(Side note...  ya gotta (don't ya?) love life and the dipsey doo of it all.  The mechanic joint I had my car towed to... apparently sign on door "Closed today, back open tomorrow."  All you can do is giggle... but... if you see an old geezer on a motorized scooter heading to get cigs at Cody's (or whatever it's called now) and you giggle, *WARNING* he may throw rocks at you!

Reel'y?

A short one......

Probably a good thing Victor..  I think your numbers are down.  WHAT?  It's gonna be a really good blog, the best you've ever seen... just as promised, Make Blog Great Again.

Really Victor?

No, 'Reel'y.......

Much, seemingly much has changed over the years.  Take cars for example.  Ain't no carburetors anymore.  Some, ya don't need a key.. many, ya don't need no gas... even now have those ya don't needs no driver.

Usedta be, Andy had to pickup the talker/receiver kinda thing, summons Sarah to get, call, whomever. Now,  he ain't gotta touch nuthin', just holler at Siri, Alexa, Bixby, that Google Assistant or even the Microsoft Copilot.  Even Major Healey and Tony would be impressed.

TG&Y, the A&W, IBM, Hi Fi are either gone or almost departed... Grease usedta be the word... Now, it's Wi Fi, but.. ya gotta have a Login (which, back in the old days, meant, you'd eaten a big ole bowl'a chili and ya had to head for the squatter, sorry, kinda)...  A User ID ( that scruffy guy on the corner that mom pointed the out, scorned, "don't talk to him") and a Password (which, we required for fellow neighborhood snotnoses to gain entry into our fort)... 

Undies useta be whitey tighty only, now, any color in the rainbow, virtually any material and any size ranging from those that go all the way to the knees, to, postage stamp sized. Go figure, them even cost more.

Today, the phone is the end all be all. Oh the games people play now, every night and every day now.  We don't need no stinkin' phone book, just press mom... or, Charlie... work, baker, barber, school, BFF, MIL, sis, bro, Unc, Granny, yada.  Time and temp?  No, yain't gotta call, they can always be displayed.

OK, I think I'm beginning to comprende', but why do you keep spelling REALLY, REEL'Y?  Some people look at Reels all day.  You mean like, taking your lawn chair to a pond, digging for a worm, puttin' it on the hook, pressing the Zebco REEL button, throwing your line out, stare at it all day? No.  Not that.

Reels are short videos, some might say they are for simpletons with ADHD, lazy at that, who could better budget their time but don't... I personally vote, REELS are FUN.  Funny. Can be educational. Movie trailers, trailer trash, folks who drive, throw trash out of their car, others grab it, throw it back in.. 

People who have no idea how to golf, videos that teach the correct way to golf (save your time, they don't work)... people falling down, guys, gals hitting home runs, bunting, bowling over people, pretty women in miniskirts who ride mechanical bulls, and, I'm certain, cowboys in Wranglers for the ladies.

Any, every thing one wants.  I've a good buddy who tells me he passes time watching reels.  I cannot, should not, ain't sposedta judge, for one, cause I ain't gots no idea what kind he watches.

Victor, you promised this would be short.

You are correct, I did.  This crap (It's gonna be a really good blog, the best you've ever seen... just as promised, Make Blog Great Again.) all started because I watched a reel.  It was kinda a neat story, having people that resembled, sounded like, friends of mine, I read/saw 'me' in there too... 

I don't even remember the story, but, it drew me in closer and closer and closer - and of course, by the time I got to the bottom it had arrows pointing down, indicating I hadta open the first comment - and there, would be the rest of the story. I have friend that won't even get on Facebook, or, the internet itself really.  They'd never order anything giving their credit card, and 'hell no' they'd say if asked for their three digit whatever you call that thing on the card after the expire date. I won't go into the comments to click the link, hear, 'the rest of the story,'

Stupid? Probably.  I spill my guts, TMI here too damn much, but, I fear opening the link that I could get malware, salmonella, herpes simplex, sumpin' like that.

I try, I really do try, to Make Blog Great Again, but it's a me it's a me it's a me old Internet, standing (sitting) in the need of creative writing lesson(s).. 

I'm too lazy, I think I'll just go watch reels instead.

Happy day, Reel'y......

Love, Victurd

Willie go 'round in circles.......

I was today old when I learned this 1972 song by Billy Preston was actually "Will it go 'round in circles?"  Are you beginning to 'get' my ADHD C+/M+ path of life?

I've got a song, I ain't got no melody
I'ma gonna sing it to my friends
I've got a song, I ain't got no melody
I'ma gonna sing it to my friends.

Doesn't really seem to make a lot of sense, but, then again, neither does a dog chasing his or her tail, running laps, or, Nascar (just turn left, and... forgive me Dale.)

Will it go 'round in circles?
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?
Will it go 'round in circles?
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?

This, reminded me of someone considering "Should I take a chance or not?  What if I fail?"  Oh yeah baby, but what if you soar?

I've got a story, ain't got no moral
Let the bad guy win every once in a while
I've got a story, ain't got no moral
Let the bad guy win every once in a while

I was today old when I learned the word for someone who gain's pleasure out of another's misfortune is schadenfreude.

Victor, you and Willie kinda goin' round in circles here.  Uh huh.  The very dim lightbulb that went off behind the juxt of this blog is/was....  what excites people?  We all have those moments (or days, weeks, months, perhaps years) where we simply go round in circles - not a whole lot phases us in either direction.......

But too, we get excited.  WHY?  Because'a what?  Obviously, we're different creatures, no, one size/idea fits all.

AI (The EF Hutton of present day) tells us kids get excited by social connections (relationships with friends, family, romantic interest), personal interest (music, movies, gaming, sports, hobbies), future possibilities (careers, travel, personal growth.)  I was thinking more along the lines of scout camp, wiffle ball, the last day of school, ice cream, yada.

S'more AI on young adults "career and education, hobbies and skills, personal development."  I never really amounted to much, because I got excited about things like "The FLAG IS UP AT REPPERTS!  GRAB YOUR SWIMSUIT!"... Kegger at the River..  Baseball Ray... Nights at the Drive In.

AI, on middle agers, Personal Growth and New Experiences, Travel, Embracing new technology, Social connections and meaningful relationships.  Eh, sure. I enjoyed virtually any, every sport with my kid in this era, and, of course enjoyed with my spouse as well.

AI drum roll on Seniors:  Gardening (Oh hell yea, jump in Mable, we're goin' to the Grass Pad! I jest, but only because I've never grown a green thumb, that said, I LOVE the gifts others plant for us), Exercise, (ahm, OK), Creative arts (yeah, mebbe), Reading (zzzzzzzzzzz), Dancing (now you're talking, but, I can't dance).... Family and friends (FER SURE).

WHAT EXCITES YOU?   It's REALLY boring to hear my side and only my side.  I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU TO SHOOT ME A LIST IN COMMENTS OF THINGS IN LIFE THAT EXCITE YOU!

You didn't really ask, but here goes......  Waking up...  Going to bed... "I don't have to go to work today!"  GRANDKIDS.  Buddies, pals, get up and going with them even though I might suck in things like golf, ping pong, etc.  Making it to the urinal with dry undies (you'll unnerstand once you reach the middle age era.)

FOOD. Music. A personalized list of music. LIVE music..  PEOPLE WATCHING.  A drive.  A road trip.  Being around water, it's calming, and somehow strangely exciting at the same time.  A lazy river (Senior go round in circles)..  Hearing, giving, observing COMPLIMENTS.

Quickie videos (errant golf shots, anything with dogs, people falling down but laughing, most pranks, flashmobs, military folks surprising family....

Fun, any which way.  A chance meeting with an old friend.  When silence dominates, but, is thankfully interupted by a text, a phone call, an instant message, "thanks, I needed that".   Love, any form.  

Life, in and of itself, to me at least, is exciting.

Happy happy, love, Victurd

(I forgot to mention Willie Nelson, he of 92 years of age, still, circling the globe, performing. Willie go round (the US) in circles, Willie fly high (take that however you want) like a bird up in the sky.)

IT, phone home......

You Simpleton Victor, it's ET phone home.

Jane, you ig......... eh, yes, aware.  I used 'IT' because I truly am a Simpleton in, on, computer,  communication stuff.  For 20 or so years, I lived in cubicle land, made over 143 calls to our IT Department in frustration, despair, only/always to be met with the dreaded "Have you tried restarting your computer?"

When our IT Department would roll out a new program, assuredly making a not-to-user-friendly program friendly....... my buddy (Big'N) and I would gripe, moan, bitch, because oft times we'd find - where before, something took you two clicks, it now took seven.. or... some things would be hidden, wiped out, gone completely.  Gripe. Moan. Bitch.

Big'N's gf, a retired former IT Supervisor for a hella big Computer company, related "You two are exactly the type we would give a rollout to in advance of giving it to everyone else, because, aware, of how hard you are to please (which, is kindly apologetic to us as really, we'd gripe, moan, bitch.)

I will now spend three years of your life informing you exactly how communication has changed in our lifetime. Of course, jk.

If you're roughly the same decade, era - we had black and white TV's, landlines (our house had two, one upstairs, one down), and, radios. We thought that was tall cotton as we didn't even have AC yet (and not sure anyone did), so, what was there to complain about?

I remember, my mother and father, 'children of the Depression Era" telling us (of them) we were po' and didn't know it."  Right in line with that, some'a the fancier homes in our fine community dabbled, purchased the brand new, first available Color TV's.  Not us, but, not to be outdone by the Jones's, dad, bless his heart, came home with a plastic thingy you put over the face of our TV, giving it the kinda-sorta-pretend-to-be color TV.  Eventually, we splurged at Woody's Appliance and joined the in color world.

It was a day and time when many different forms of communication happened.  The ice cream man (RUN, don't walk, "Mom, can I have a quarter?")..  The streetlights, when they came on, time to get our booties home.  As we aged a tad, we played later - and, the flashing on/off of our porchlight was the indicator 'time to come home.'

Along about that era, and actually, even into today, our folks used ALL THREE names, full volume, of course, when we were in trouble. Honest, I rarely heard VICTOR KENDAL SCHULTZE! because I pretty much behaved.  It wasn't until I reached the driving age or so that I noticed my father balding a bit, and mom, smoking more - which, assuredly correlated to my moments of wildness.

Two phones.  When I was young, behaved, 'dibs' on the phone wasn't a priority for me. As I reached the age where my pops lost his hair, mom smoked more, it was "DADGUMMIT, Vanda (my sister) has been on the phone for OVER AN HOUR" happened.

Back in that 'I behaved' period, we, the Flanigans (9 nextdoor neighbor kids) and I, dabbled with empty juice cans, a long, long string, we emulated Alexander Graham. Fun, barely legible, well done.  At school, we communicated by passing notes.  Well, those who'd already started causing their parents to lose their hair, smoke more, did 

There was damn near a pay phone on every other corner. Came in handy for "I'm about out of gas, can you bring me a few bucks... or...  everyone is going to Weags house for the night, you care if I go, spend the night too?"  Of course I was still a model child then, but I remember my buddies taking the butt end of the pay phone phone, dropping a nickel in, and, simultaneously hitting the coin return button, and, about 5 outta 10 tries, the nickel would go thru to the coin return thingy, AND, a dial tone would be produced.  At least, that's what they told me, I was still in the angel era.

As I aged, started to cause pa' to lose hair, mom to smoke more, we used coins in a different way to communicate.  The Paseo Bridge (now, The Bond Bridge) helped us get over the Missouri River from the Northland into downtown KC, and, there was a dime toll due to do so.  There were manned toll boths, and automated thingys where you could simply drop a dime to cross.  I'd pull up to the manned booth, hand the guy a dime, and then a second dime, and I'd announce, "And this is for my buddy" who would time it, as he sped at 63 mph thru the automated thingy.  We thought 'fun', toll collector not-so-much, "smartass kids"....

While I was assuredly a redheaded smartass kid, my buddies had long been into causing their folks to lose their hair, smoke more, they'd do cruddy stuff like heat up a dime (or spit on one) then, hand it to the poor toll guy or gal.  Kids nowadays have no idea the fun we had, I guess.

Scroll forward thru one marriage, then a second, then, a child, quite a few jobs, and then, proud owner of a mom and pop delivery business - my new form of communication was a beeper.  YIPEE!  Momma worked from home, one eye on the kid, the other on the business, and she'd beep me with a new pickup, or, any other concern.

By this time, yeah, I was corrupt, but, still carried a pocketfulla dimes just in case I couldn't get the 'tap the butt of the phone on the coin return as you drop a nickel and hope for your nickel back, along with, a dial tone. Most times yeah, sometimes not, then, used a dime.

THEN, the bag phone.  I got one. I was 'color TV cool', "Thornwall 7 cool", finally, when others weren't.   Momma would page me to call, I would... I'd worry about every second of time used (EXPENSIVE) on the bag phone, would try to hurry her thru the conversation, thus, in turn causing her to smoke more cigs.  Long run, tough to compare the economics there.

This brings us to today, where, in one fell smartphone swoop, one can find out who the Chief's all time leading rusher is, check your blood pressure, remotely turn down the temp on your electric smoker at home, scan a document, use the language translator to be sure (or not) if those ladies at the pedicure joint are laughing at you, play Farmville (or Sudoku), swipe and pay at QT for a packa cigs, Facetime the oldest granddaughter in Topeka, and, listen to "Chicken train runnin all day, chicken train, running all day, chicken train, running all day, can't get on, can't get off, chicken train take the chickens away."

I would be remiss if I didn't mention one of the most beautiful forms of communication I've ever witnessed.  My cousin was the basketball coach at the Missouri School for the Deaf.  Annually, they'd venture to KC to play in Olathe, KS against the Kansas School for the Deaf.  Wonderful, normal kids, with of course just one small difference.  To watch the sign language was a thing of beauty.  It encompassed explaining, encouraging,  exclamation, laughter, and, simply being a kid.  Oh, and upon occasion, my cousin would call a time out, draw the kids into a huddle, be fairly upset with them and their play, and his hands accentuated same... to which, the kids (and I love this) would turn their heads so they couldn't see him 'yelling' at them.

Kinda like hitting 'end call' before ever picking up when you see a strange area code or Spam Risk warning.... or, caller ID when your brain tells you, "Nope, not right now anyways."

IT is the best of times, IT is the worst of time.

Forward by Alexander Graham Bell, famous bald people and toll collectors everywhere, 

Love, Victurd

Women............ Football....... Ruh Roh......

The NFL Season beginnith.....

Hey Wiki, or.. Alexa... or, Simon Says, AI........ whoever....... Does the NFL play EVERY day?

Well, no....  There are games weekly on Monday, and Thursday, and Sundays... Oh, and the NFL has increased Saturday games as well, especially late in the season and around Holidays.

Oh, and the NFL has played games on Tuesdays and Wednesdays in the past due to circumstances... .  Circumstances?  Like, you mean a guy with a BIG slice of Cheese on his head having the shakes?  Must we do away with Leash Laws and the inability to confine the Dawg Pound in the cages in Cleveland?

From Reddit, ribbit...  "Been with a guy for the better part of the year (…after football season had ended). I knew he was a football fan. I didn’t realize he was a fanatic.....   plays in 6 fantasy leagues.. .last weekend our time limited, he was 'researching and planning'...  late for our dinner date, consumed with draft or whatever the hell it is. (Our date was to a sport's bar so he could watch football.)  NFL TBC (that's fooooootball... to be continued)

Thursday, he went with friends to watch the game. Our spare time, he gets notifications on his phone damn near every 10 seconds.  We must stop what we're doing. This Sunday, Monday... looking the same... 3rd wheel I am. Frustrated... feel unimportant... if I mention it, he might dump my ass for one of the girls he knows that actually likes football... TBC

I guess my question is, should we elope, have a big church wedding, or, a destination wedding somewhere?

Of course I''m kidding. "RUN FORRESTINA!"  Her question to the Reddit ribbits, "am i being irrational... is there a healty compromise?"

Like any fill in the blank template conversation in social media... the answers were interesting....... 

"The only time you can change a man is when he's a baby..... if he prioritizes this fetish he has over your relationship, do yourself a favor and get out....    This isn't about boundaries, you are overstepping your boundaries by asking him to change. Either he is for you or not.... 6 Fantasy leagues is absolutely preposterous. 

Tell me again just how addicted he is?  "He’d stop what the 2 of us were doing to deal with it. I’d say something and he wouldn’t hear it. I walked by him stark-naked just to get a reaction and he didn’t even look up."

And, like any ole average social media chain answer thingy, folks got huffy over those who did't agree with their opine, name calling happened, both sides frustrating....... I had to stop and listen to Ray Charles for five minutes, then, YouTube'd Tim Conway for another 5.

To be fair to both sides - many women love football.  A good buddy gal I graduated with has had Chief's Season tickets for decades, has been to way more stadiums than I, and that includes Germany and a few Super Bowls.  I have friends, both sexes, that have absolutely zero interest in football.  Many couples enjoy watching together.  It can even be a family thing.

Actually, NFL fandom is made up of 45% women - and, with all the Swifties now joining in, prolly fitty fitty.

Is that all Paul Harvey?

No. Ain't.  "Woman divorces husband for booing Taylor Swift at the Super Bowl, citing it as a sign of lack of respect and care for her feelings."

Honey?  Do you have anything to say before football season starts?  (I'm kidding.)  Tastes great... Less filling...  We interrupt this marriage for football season....  The key to a great football season is to give wife a foot-rub after every touchdown.... A real woman watches football. A real awesome woman kicks her husband's ass in Fantasy Football...

HONEY?  DID YOU WASH MY CHIEF'S JERSEY?

And so it began.......

Love, Victurd

Well shake it up baby........

Well, shake it up, baby, now (shake it up baby)
Twist and shout (twist and shout)
Come on, come on, come, come on, baby, now (come on baby)
Come on and work it on out (work it on out)
Well, work it on out, honey (work it on out)
You know you look so good (look so good)
You know you got me goin' now (got me goin')
Just like you knew you would (like I knew you would)

If you're old, like me... congrats.  We're lucky to be here.  Much. Much has changed since this song came out - yet, it seems like just yesterday (when our problems were so far away, eh?)

Well, shake it up, baby, now (shake it up baby)
Twist and shout (twist and shout)
Come on, come on, come, come on, baby, now (come on baby)
Come on and work it on out (work it on out)
You know you twist, you little girl (twist little girl)
You know you twist so fine (twist so fine)
Come on and twist a little closer now (twist a little closer)
And let me know that you're mine, woo

Dog gone, so much has changed.  Ringo is 85, Paul, 83.. of course George and John gone, Billy Shears never surfaced.

Victor?  Uh huh?  Where ya goin' with this?  Well, I admit to SHAKE being the key word.  See, I have this daily routine.  You gotta daily routine?  Guys? You shave before coffee?  Gals? You put on your bra before or after breakfast?  We support either decision.

Ah-ah-ah-ah, wow
Baby, now (shake it up baby)
Twist and shout (twist and shout)
Come on, come on, come, come on, baby, now (come on baby)
Come on and work it on out (work it on out)
You know you twist, little girl (twist little girl)
You know you twist so fine (twist so fine)
Come on and twist a little closer now (twist a little closer)
And let me know that you're mine (know you're mine ooh)
Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now (shake it up baby)
Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now (shake it up baby)
Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now (shake it up baby)
Ah-ah-ah-ah

I bought this machine.  It's a huge part of my daily routine.  Spit it out Victor, what kinda machine?  I thought you'd never ask.  A vibration machine.  Oh, now we get it, the song "Shake it up Baby"... why didn't ya just do the Beach Boys "Good Vibrations?"

I enjoy that song, but how can ya beat the Beatles, the feel, the time, the happy, the lettin' loose, the joy... that, all that.  Back to the machine there Victor, 'wouldn't it be nice' if you could expound on that.

OK, TY.  I awaken, well before Here Comes The Sun (doo-doo-doo-doo)... A Day In The Life of Victurd includes (TMI) legs that hurt, legs that swell. SO, I bought me a vibration machine.  It's about the size of a Big Bertha Bathroom Scale (No, don't picture a nekked Big Bertha, 'twas a golf reference, a bit "Mega-sized" over regular.)  I went to Prime, ordered it from some outfit in 中國, got it in the nick of time before the price of tea/tariffs from 中國 set in.

I'm a tightwad, but you knew that.  It was like fitty bucks.  My daily routine:  feet hit floor (Woke up, fell outta bed)..  pee... coffee... VIBRATION MACHINE. WELL SHAKE IT UP BABY.  

It. Feels. So. Dadgum. Good.  I sit down, put ma' feet on it.  It comes with a remote control.  One button turns it on, there are 5, count 'em 5 varying degrees of how damn fast/hard the thing will vibrate.

10%...  ahhhhhh... kinda like a slow, deep massage.

30%...  as if the machine is asking me, "day of week?... prepared for the weather?  What's for breakfast? Good Day Sunshine.

50%....  I can't hear the TV, shouldn't hold coffee cup (it'd spillith over).. shake it up baby, wake it up mister.

70%....  Holy crap that hurt's good.  Ever have someone pound on your back?  Uh huh, except now it's your feet.  I'm afeared to touch anything metal for I may electrocute myself.

90%...  OMG.  My belly is in Misery as I peek down and watch it bounce from Iowa to Arkansas and back up and down again and again. I cAn'T rEaD, I cAn'T wRiTe, I cAn'T fEel, OuCh, DaMn CoFfEe!  I keep expecting Maxwell's Silver Hammer to come down upon my head. It's basically, VICTOR, GIT YO' FATASS UP!

So I do.  It's kinda hard to Act Naturally after all that crap, but eventually I do.  I highly recommend vibration machines.  Editor's note.  If you buy one, have complications, don't sue my little hiney. Blood/Turnip. Always consult your Doctor before beginning anything like this, or, riding a rollercoaster, having sex after 70, and.... pogo sticks are definite no no.

Well shake it up baby and have a fantastic day.

Victurd

(PS, I love you)