Hi, my name is Vic. I'm old. Feeble. Ya know, one foot in the urn (I have really small feet.)
Picture wrinkled arms... actually, wrinkles allover, you know, like onea them Shar-Pei hounds.
I have actinic purpura. GET AWAY FROM ME THEN OLD MAN, I DON'T WANNA CATCH THAT CRAP.
It ain't what you think. It's the purple spots we geezers get on our skin whenever we barely bump anything, sometimes, we don't even remember howintheheck we got/get them.
I'm the poor poor pitiful me person in dayum near every Fabiosa Digest 'reel', story, whadever you call 'em on Facebook. Our time has past, move along OG, where'd ya put the will, I wanna take a peek.
Old man river.. Any possible contributions in life, water under the bridge. Get along home little doggie.
Arguments, amongst the 'children' of Fabiosa Digest folks, center around, "here's a nice little flat for ya Grandpa.. it's only a block from the Assisted Living place, which is next door to Golden Acres, which, has a really nifty cemetery in the back forty. Mark, set, get them tennis balls'a rollin. Rollin' rollin' rollin', keep them tennis balls rollin'... . Oh.. and......
Handover the keys to the 4 bedroom, 2 bath place, and, couldya, before ya go, call that dumpster place and clear out all the crap in the second garage door spot so I, er, someone could park two vehicles in there?
In fairness to the Fabiosa Digest folks, I ain't read a ton of 'em, but, whenever I do, I swear to goodness I can hear Roy Orbison singing "It's Over" in the background.
Just once..........................
Just once..........................
I'd like to read one where..........
Gramps SPRINGS OUTTA BED... showers and shaves in nuthin' flat. Races (you hear me, RACES) down the stairs....... as gramps does, he swings by the record player (YES, I said record player..........) puts Sly and his Stone family on...
Say, get up and dance to the music
Get on up and dance to the music
Dance to the music
Dance to the music
Dance to the music
Dance to the music (hey, Greg), what?
All we need is a drummer
For people who only need a beat, yeah
I'm gonna add a little guitar
And make it easy to move your feet
Then, Gramps moonwalks into the kitchen. makes him some Chia pudding.. a dab'a cottage cheese... three scoops of Greek yogurt.......warshes it all down with a glass'a 2%........
(Reread up above there... there ain't NOWHERE where the OG put on clothes.. YES, he's nekkid to the World. That's the way, uh huh uh huh, he likes it... slides open the patio door....... (There's a 12' privacy fence, relax a little).. does a cannonball into the deep enda the pool, followed by twelve, count em, twelve, laps.
"AHHHH YES!" he hollers to no one in particular...... back into the house. put's Sly's album back in the cover.. .runs upstairs whistling the theme from Andy Griffith.......
T shirt....... shorts....... a pair'a neon green boxer briefs (whitey tighty? FORGET YOU!)... ankle socks (whadever damn color he wants).. . His favorite Hoka shoes.........
AND HE'S OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Out the door......... jogs up by the college... around the Square (4 times).......up the hill to the High School... he's up to two miles.. but he's timed it perfectly, slides into the Elementary School, salutes, waves, 'howdy's' all the office staff... walks into granddaughter Aub's 3rd grade class... has a seat on the stool the teach provided.......... and reads the book of the day (right after he's winked at Aub and flashed her the love sign.)
Blows her a kiss... says 'thankya ma'am" to teach.... "Morning Herk" to the custodian............. and, continues his jog....... defying the perceived odds of "geezers don't know crap about electronics", he calls the 7-11 from the phone on his ear, orders 8 different scratch off tickets... "be there in seven minutes Betty".. before he set foot outta the schoolyard, he'd eyed the pull up bar on the playground... did 20 pull ups (didn't wanna be late for his tickets, prolly coulda done forty or fitty.)
He no longer walked in the door, said 'howdy', snatched the tickets, tapped to pay (thoughts running through his head, "SEE? I know how to do this crap too!).. says thanks to Betty.......
Two miles to home......... but, the Police Scanner in the other ear warns him about trouble at Al's Bar and Grill..........he's there in a flash.... seems four thugs from a nearby town are making fun of, bullying. Duke... a nice kid, some call him 'simple', but, wouldn't hurt a flea.. anyways, Duke is in near tears...... It's like Gramps downed a can'a spinach, three karate kicks, four jiu jitsu's later, there's "Four on the floor", Al, and Duke, thank him... wiseacre Otis, in the backgound, already had a few, starts singing the Might Mouse theme............
Ten minutes later (a 5mph pace) Gramps is in the door at home, pets the dog and cat... feeds em... takes a seat on the couch.. but only for a little bit.. to binge his latest favorite Netflix show.
Fabulous idea, (my take anyways).. I dunno if Fabiosa would ever break from their feeble Geezer, take advantage of the old man, old woman ways..... but, I'd like to see it, read it.
Oh well, I'm off to swim a few laps, happy day!
VICTOR? Yeah? You ain't gotta pool, and, FYI, that's the front porch, not the back porch.
Oops.
Love, Victurd
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