I have admitted lazy streaks. OK, call it years if you prefer that, I'm 73, I mean, how many dayum years can I consternate, be PO'ed at that?
I have a 'new' computer. It's behaving like a wife. VICTOR! Er, I mean, like a persnickety partner. That ain't gonna get you off the hook Victor, you're still gonna be labeled a misogynist. I'm 73, I mean, how many dayum years can I consternate, be PO'ed at that?
Where was I? Victor, that's a very common question asked by 73 year olds. I believe you were set to explain or demonstrate how your computer is persnickety, or, husband-like, HA!
Funny, not. I'm sure of that. The regular path to open this (to do a new blog) is to go way up the left upper hand corner, click 'new window', then wait for three years for it to open. I'm 73, I mean, how many dayum years can I consternate, be PO'ed at that? Ya know? I'd get pissed for like a year, that's why I chose to select a window that was already opened, type in the site for the blog, then, carry on my wayward son..
So............ when it opened, it didn't open, rather......"DANGEROUS SITE". I kinda agree. It drives me crazy sometimes anyways.
So... I went back to the regular method, opened, waited a year, I'm now 74, how's things with you?
Sure. That's a huge word (to me) in life. Same with the word doubt. When I find myself in times of trouble.......no, wait, that ain't it. When I find myself in situations where I don't really know any, many...I thinka the sure doubt first.. I look for someone who seemingly has self doubt in themselves. I admit to that for myself sometimes, but, I think it would be a literal hell to live in a world where you always doubt yourself, and for that, I feel sorry for them.
Then, there's the sure word. I'm sure I'd like that one, that one and that one. I'm sure that one hasn't cleaned out his car in three months. (Victor, you're in the bathroom peeing, again, that's you in the mirror.) Oh yeah, sorry.
That one, is SURE of him, herself. That one, is TOO sure of him, herself. I do not wanna sit by them, nor become acquainted to them. I would ride across the country 'with' them, provided they were heading East on I-70 whilst I was going West. We get it Victor. Ya sure? Yes, Shirley.
Which, has absolutely NOTHING to do with Carter Jensen (but I do.) Carter is a tremendously talented 'rookie' for the Kansas City Royals. Every stop along the way in the Minor Leagues, reminds ya of one'a them cheesy Batman cartoons with "POW".. "BANG".. "ZAP"... "KABOOM!" That is, he can really really hit. I'm sure of it.
At the end of last season, he was brought up from Triple A for a look see. Look? See? Dude can hit. Thus, for this year, he was bequeathed the backup catcher role. Prominent. Huge in that our Captain, Salvy, will only catch a little over half the time.
Third game of the season... Home run... and.. RBI double.. Royals win, Royals win. Sixth game of the season, a 1pm Sunday noon start.. Salvy had caught the night before, so, Carter penciled in (emphasis on pencil) to catch with his 22 yr old legs, so Salvy could rest his late 30-something legs.
Team meeting before game. Where's Carter? Ring, ring, ring, ring, voicemail. He's a local kid, so, they tried his parent's number... ring, ring, ring, Hello? Mr. Jensen, ya seen Carter? Nope, I'm sorry, I haven't.
He overslept. Nuh uh? Uh huh, I"m sure of it Shirley. They scratched him from the game. Salvy not only caught, but, they lost an all important lefthanded bat against a very fine righty pitcher.
This is where............. I go ballistic, of sorts. I WOULDA GIVEN MY RIGHT ARM AT THE CHANCE TO PLAY MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL! (OK, maybe right index finger fingernail, now's that?) I mean, what a goofball, some might even call him an idiot. MY. GOAL. IN. LIFE. WAS. TO. PLAY. MAJOR. LEAGUE. BASEBALL. Carter, how couldya?
Ahm, Victor? Yeah? Can I help you here? What's to help about it, it's ridiculous. OK OK, back to that in a sec. When you, Victor, went to that tryout for the Royals, remember, the one where you realized you sucked? Yeah, so? So, you went on, successfully I might add, to your second life choice, to teach PE and coach in your hometown. Remember? Sure, but what's that got to do with this?
Ahm, Victor? Yeah? Remember how, in teaching, you really stuggled at first. Yeah. Then, after awhile, with the help of many, you had the kids walking in for PE quietly, and, they even remembered to wear gym shoes for PE Day. Yeah, I DO remember that, and, I thought pretty cool of me, I even made up a "GYM SHOE" award that after so many times in a row, they got this nifty "GYM SHOE AWARD" colored construction paper thingy to post on their class door. YES, that's right, you did.
Then, Victor? Yeah? Do you remember your second week? Wow, that was a long time ago. I just remember, I think most of the teachers liked me, man, they helped me, for sure. The Principal was awesome.. and the cooks, OH the cooks. The gym doubled as a cafeteria, I spent a lotta time in with those nice, fun, ladies. I even got TWO cinnamon rolls on cinnamon roll day. I had it going smoking!
Uh huh, but, then do you remember what happened? Well, not specifically, remember, that was long, long ago.
Week 2. YOU OVERSLEPT. Damn, that's right, I did. By the time they got ahold of you, you'd missed two classes, the teachers of those two classes didn't get their break time. You felt horrible, and, rightfully so.
Victor? yeah? Do you remember your office door? Well yeah, it was wood, barren. Nothing stood out about it. Except when..........
The Principal put up a GYM SHOE AWARD that day for you on it.
THAT'S DIFFERENT. No it ain't. Job = oversleep. He's a people just like you're a people. I'm sure of it, Victor.
OK. There's no way to wiggle outta that one. I did it. It's twue it's twue, it's reawwy twue. I am human, hear me snore. It was the last time, in however long this dayum working career has gone... that was.. gosh, almost 50 years ago... and it ain't happened again.
So Victor, do you want a GYM SHOE AWARD or a chest to pin it on? Bite me. i would, but, I'm heading East on I-70.
Good day, Paul Harvey
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