Synonyms for plagiarism....

Copying. Piracy. Theft. Stealing. Poaching. Appropriation. Cribbing.

Fine print:  I do that. Steal. Why? Other people are way more funny than I. Not too mention creative. Hey, you.  Sue me. I ain't makin' a nickel here, and if I did, the way I piss money away (sorry, kinda) if you sued me, blood out of a turnip. Got that from Funk & Wagnall, the rest won't be notated.

Things I will never do a first time, or, again:

Stolen:  

Date men. (Me neither)

Branson, Missouri. There was just something…off about the place. It felt like everything there was just to the left of normal.

I asked a loved one her take, "maybe three things never again":   1) Get drunk.  2) Ride an elevator.  3) Buy a tampon ("YOU asked").

I will never again ask a loved on for their take.

I will never say “Yes please” when the waitress at The Olive Garden asks “soup or salad?” (I heard Super Salad?)

I will never meow at a dog again. Learned hard way.

My 4 year old niece and I were playing…and she throws the ball and somehow I failed to catch..and accidentally I blurted 'oh f*ck'…and….that's all I heard from her all day…

Go in a hot air balloon. We were told it would be an hour long ride max!. 4 hours later after passing landing field after field and almost hitting a skyscraper we have almost run out of gas and have to land in the middle of a busy city street while blocking traffic for 45 minutes . Everyone in the basket that day thought we would be up nerin the sky forever! It sucked....

Generic, prolly not funny:  Stay with a cheater.. Beg someone to stay. Overpack. Book  short layover. Crash diet. Mindless scrolling on social media. Be a people pleaser. Ignore a bad feeling. Miss a loved one's final years. Regret an unfulfilled life.  Not forgiving enough.

Feed my dog Puppuccinos at Starbucks. His farts in the car afterwards were death.

Victurd's list:  While driving, pick my nose or 'little finger' my ear (did anyone hear 'Simon Says?"eh, prolly just as well, running out of hiding places)...  Get married. Forward roll, backward roll (at least with intent). Drive 80 mph. Run, jump, hop. Date with intent of a relationship. Skydive. Cheer for KU. Eat seafood. Go up more than one flight of stairs. Tip less than 30%.  Ask, "why do women always announce when they are going to pee?"

Buy a new suit. Buy a new car.  Play softball. Buy expensive golf balls. Get all stressy at Mickey D's when in drive thru line, have ordered, clearly my turn and, the B* goes first.

As old age creeps in... never hold a firecracker in one hand, and, punk in the other.

Or, buy a tampon.

I would love your "I will never" examples, even, if one of them is admitting to fall asleep mid-blog.

Love, Victurd