"Bet me" (or, just, 'bet') is a modern slang for enthusiastic agreement, similar to saying "Okay." "For sure." "You got it," or, "I'm down," showing confidence or accepting a challenge, often humorously, as in "Want to race to the car?"
My name is Victor, I am, can be, a betaholic, among other addictive things. At age 73, can't help it, or, moreso, don't wanna, don't care.
What usedta be "I'll race you to the thorn tree and back" as a kid, is now replaced by me, in my mobility scooter at WallyWorld, challenging fellow feeble scooter riding chums to "Wanna race from the meat aisle to the soda pop aisle?" I've yet to have one take me up on the offer, but by golly, I would
What folows, is a hopefully brief recap of my betting 'skills', life, aspects, history, yada - so, don't say I didn't warn you.
Our golfing foursome. Liberty punks that grew up some 60+ years ago together in school. We always bet, One Dollar. Two man scramble, I pay Mac, Tom pays Gary, or vice versa. It gets real. I can't believe you gave him that putt!" Laughter, followed by, "We're playing for a DOLLAR!" Don't matter, competitive. We talk big, brag about last time, bottom line, fun.
Sans Divorce, blackjack. Katy didn't bar the door, so, I played, and played. Sitting down at the Flamingo Hotel in Vegas at a $5 table (that's how long ago it was) at 4am, I played, smoked cigs, played s'more, got up, peed, grabbed a beer, played... then noticed, it was 5am, the next day. Sadly, true. It's simply, a rush.
Anyone who relates, time and again, winning at the casino, ain't telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. All gamblers are suckers, but, again, it's a rush. Among the hunnerd plus times I've lost playing blackjack - there was one time, I'd won... I dunno... $1200 or so... got up to cash in... a couple of questionable fellers followed me to the window to get my dough.. I asked the change lady, "Is there any way I can get an escort to my car?" In a flash, a guy who coulda passed for Danny DeVito's cousin was there to walk me out.
Another time, between some'a the hunnerd times I didn't get up and cash in - it was December.. I cashed out at the window, immediately drove across the highway and got six rooms at a nifty hotel with a big ole pool, fun kid area - for our family for Christmas Eve. Proudly, best Christmas ever, or, at least since my divorce anyways.
Slowpitch softball.. while it wasn't technically betting, we laid our talent (or lack thereof) on the line, in that, on our team, if you struck out (you just don't, shouldn't, strike out in slowpitch) you had to buy a 30 pack of beer for the team's next game. I'd said "If I ever strike out, I'm quitting." I friggin' swung and missed with two strikes. I friggin' swung and missed with two strikes. "Sh*t, now what?" OK, I'll change it to, "When I become a detriment, I'll quit." That wasn't too long after. There was a team made up of cops in our league... if they struck out, they had to wear a tutu into the field the next half inning That was pretty entertaining.
My bookie. This portion of the blog will selft destruct in two minutes. He wasn't really a bookie, but, he was, amongst us friends. We bet enough, he was actually playin both sides of the line, and he'd win on vigs, ties, yada.. Anyways... I was behind, wanted to bet s'more.. so... walked into our regular ole regular table at our establishment, handed him a quick fitty. "Vic, don't do that." - not wanting to spend six months behind bars I guiess... Duh me, so, next time I paid him (and I later quit because I always paid him, I put the dough in and empty cig box, "That work?" Yes, that worked.
I was ready for the big time, or so I thought. Gamblers think like that. Peyton Manning, in Indy, walkled on water that wasn't frozen. He continued to do so in Denver.... and no matter how many damn times you hear the dreaded "OMAHA OMAHA".. he'd win. Super Bowl. One hundred dollars. I didn't have an extra hundred, but, that's what gamblers do, besides, it was Manning, he ALWAYS wins. 2014. The very first play of the game, they snap the ball OVER Manning's head, resulting in a safety, and a very long day for me, Peyton, and a 43-8 loss to Seattle. That was the last day I bet on football.................. until........
Yesterday. Sport's betting FINALLY legalized in Missouri. Every other commercial n TV talking about "Bet $5 on your initial bet, we'll giveya $300, even if you lose." Being an online neophyte, I posted on Facebook, asking a couple buddies to guide me how to do so. "Call me" said one. Did. He helped me.
One hour before the Chief's game, I'd been trying to get logged in DraftKings, the site I wanted to. couldn't, and I'd been trying for an hour. Finally, YES!, seven minutes before game time, it accepted password, user ID name ("caution, others will see it") password, addy, email, everything, including my debit card and $25 initial deposit.
In my haste, I forgot to enter the code to get my damn $300 bonus money. I wanted ot go back and change my user ID name to "ImAnIdiot" but didn't have time, put $10 on the Chiefs. You know the rest. Fourth quarter, after playing horribly, the Chiefs were amazingly still in it. In spite of nine incomplete passes in a row for Mr. Patrick, Andy Reid elected to go for 4th and one, on the Chief's own 31 yard line. Sure, the 10th incompletion happened, the Texans score (twice) and in keeping with the song lyric theme of this blog......"I'm a loser... and I AM what I appear to be."
So.............. I've got less than $15 left in my account. Thought maybe I'd bet a final $10 on something, then, "Call it a (Gambling) career." I logged onto DraftKings... up pops "K State basketball versus Mississippi Valley State." Interesting. K State, their last game, lost to a small college.. Coach was hot. Kids, I'm certain, will regret practice all week.. They will kick whoever they play's butt. "I wonder what the spread is?" K State is giving 35 and 1/2 points to Mississippi Valley State.. WHAT? They'll beat 'em, but they ain't gonna beat em that bad, sign me up. But first, I looked at Mississippi Valley State's history... Crap, their record is 1-8. Ken Pom, renowned basketball guru says "Mississippi Valley State is the worst team in College Basketball." Either way, ImAnIdiot is gonna be ImALoser.
So, curious. Who did their only win come against? Mississippi University for Women. I ain't kidding, thats what their team site said. Little known fact I usedta coach Women's Basketball.. I argue, at length, with my Zizzer buddy about just how good women's basketball is.
I'm going to flip a coin. Heads, K State, tails, Mississippi Valley State. My last $!0. Stay tuned. Or not. I wouldn't. ImAnIdiot and ImALoser.
Love, Victurd
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