Knock knock......

Who's there?

Lane

Lane who? 

Kiffin! The Coach.  My key won't work in the door. I gotta get my clothes.

We done changed locks, your clothes are on a rack in the parking lot (See the 'X' posting)

But.....

No buts.....

But, but, but........ I wanna say goodbye to the coaches, the players.

Sorry.  Oh, and the only person going on that plane to Baton Rouge with you is your brother.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

This is Piggly Wiggly, returning your call(s)...  we noticed you called 23 times.

Oh yeah, sorry.  Hey, I went the day after Thanksgiving and you guys were outta eggs.  Now that Thanksgiving is over, the Egg Bowl is past (sorry Lane).. you got any?

No, and thanks to rumors of 7 inches of snow today in KC, you ain't gonna find milk or TP here either.

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Winter.

Sorry, you've reached a number that's been disconnected.

Victor, we know you're in there... we just watched you put that new, cover all your winders (front, back, side) tarp on that rattletrap you drive.

Go away, I'm busy booking tee times for late March.....

Knock knock   .

Liberty Community Center..  may I help you?

Thanks, my name is Victor.  I'm an old geezer. I think I've come to the gym, oh, mebbe 126 times in the last ten years... 96 of which were in 2016.

Impressive Victor.  Begs the question, why so many in 2016?

Well, and thanks for asking.  I had gotten the wild idea of seeing if I could workout for 100 days straight. I wasn't as 'big as a house' but I was kinda big like a spacious condo, needed to workout.  I actually made it 95 consecutive days... Day 96 was a day not unlike today.  7 inches of snow, but I was in that "I'll be damned if I'm gonna miss" mode... I wiped the snow, scraped for an hour... heated my clunker up... almost got stuck six times enroute to the gym...  I get there... and..... you were! CLOSED!

Ohhhhhhh, sorry about that Victor.  But, I noticed you said 96 times... how's that?

Well... (a deep subject, I know)...  I got bronchitis the day after you were closed.. missed a day.. finally made it back for my '96th day', or course, now not consecutively.

Oh wow.. you'd mentioned 'old geezer'... I bet that really toned your body up eh?

NOOOOO!!!!!  Oh, sorry, I mean, "No."  I friggin gained eight pounds.

Sorry!  Hey, how can I help you today?

Well (I know, deep)... I came Friday and I came yesterday.  I actually weighed on your scale Friday.  (Scroll to 'big as a house') So, I came back yesterday with a new goal... to walk in the pool for 30 minutes straight.

And?  How'd that go?

Well, I made it 27, then some real pretty older lady walked into the Sauna... and, sure, while I'm past that stage of trying to ever get a relationship again... ahm, I ain't dead. 

So Victor, how can we help you today?

Thanks, today is a lot like that day (7"+ inches of snow) I scraped all that crap offa my windshield... slipped slided across town (almost getting stuck 6 times).. rolled in and you were CLOSED!!  Are you gonna be open today?

"This recording is brought to you by the City of Liberty Park an Recreation Department Due to inclement weather, we are closing immediately and will reopen Tuesday, December 2nd."

Damn.

Knock knock?

Larmar's Donuts, may i help you?

Hi, and thanks.  Hey, how late in the day will you have those big as a pizza, HUGE, sugary, wonderful cinnamon rolls?

You should be good as long as you're here by 11.

Thanks!

Love, Victurd