Third base.... last stop before home......

My Uncle had always said he wanted to open a bar by that name... Third Base, Last Stop Before Home.  Catchy, mebbe pun intended.  Once upon a time, my bucket list included Cooperstown to see the Baseball Hall of Fame, and - I'd still like to, just dunno if I will ever get the chance.  Was to go with my two cousins - sadly, that's impossible now.  Anyways, in doing research, I noticed THERE IS a bar by that name there! OH to get a T Shirt!

Kinda sorta instead, yesterday I went to Northmoor.  HUH?  Yeah, I know, what I thought too.  To prearrange cremation, you know, last stop before home.  Being a tightwad, I'd called around... several.. most wanted me to come in...nah, no thanks.  I saw that as kinda like shopping for a car (the urn).. WOW, I want that one with the really cool spoke wheels, said, no one.  So, I did what I always do, least expensive.

Victor, are you really sharing this story?  Uh huh.  Are you, the blog person asking this question, the almighty in decision on whatintheheck one can write about, and cannot write about?  No, but it's a tad TMI.

Whatever.  So, walk in... lady says "You Vic?"  Uh huh, Hi.  Really no idle chit chat, strictly business - which, is OK... but I kinda like "off the train tracks" in life.  Relax, exhale, just be you.  I noticed she had ten different tattoos, one on each knuckle.  So a third of the way in, and hoping to temporarily derail the lady, and, truly intrigued as to their meaning, asked.  She must notta heard me... or did, and thought "ain't going there, leave me alone old man, let's get this crap done. or, maybe she'd hold up one of the middle ones and just explain that one."  Nope, nada. Choo Choo, business at hand, er, well, you know.

So, being the good little boy I am, I pressed my luck soon after.  I think, in times of sh*t, levity helps. (One of THE BEST convos I ever had... was a 2 hour visit in a parked camper in front of my aunt's house...  My sister and I only were in town, there to bury our mom.  Of course we cried, hugged, related stories. An hour in.. she excused herself to use the camper restroom. VICTOR, you've told this one before. Bite me.  As she went into the restroom, I hear this "CLICK", the lock on the door.  As she comes out of the restroom, she hears this LAUGH, from me.  YOU LOCKED THE DOOR! DID YOU LIKE REALLY THINK I WAS GONNA COME IN THE RESTROOM?  I loved my sister like cray... she had The Best laugh.. and I got to hear it there.  I will NEVER forget the two hours I was afforded with her that day.)

Bottom line, again, I think levity helps in really ugly life situations.  So, back to pressing my luck,  I asked the 'stay on the train track' cremation lady, "Do you ever tell anyone you're in a dead end job?"  A hint, a hint of the corner of one side of her mouth almost forming a smile... "No, but you know First Responders?  I tell everyone I'm a last responder."  Hey, she didn't come completely off the tracks, but, at least she didn't hit "The Big Air" (Brakes) as we rounded the corner.

I considered circling back to the tattoo questions..."what's the meaning of those"...  Didn't, but if I had, I was gonna continue to relate the only tattoo I EVER thought about getting.  A small one, some inconspicuous place, in keeping with levity in ugly situations, maybe, hopefully, making 'em go down laughing (if it were even possible with train track lady) that would say, again, tiny letters...... Morticians suck.

I asked fitty or so regular ole regular questions.. I listed my ex as the person that will call when that time comes.  Asked "what if she keels first?"...  Asked, "What if you go outta business?"  "# of death certificates?" Being said tightwad, they'd told me I could pay by either regular ole regular check, or, cashiers.  Of course, I wrote a regular check. "Outta curiosity, you ain't gonna hold that until I die and I gotta worry about having enough in my checking forever and ever do I?"  They mail it to the Missouri Funeral something or other, they soon cash it.  "Whew, thanks."

I ain't dying, that I know of... but coincidentally, I'd checked out a book online from the Library a buddy had recommended   Read it on a Kendal, which is also my middle name but the Library misspells Kendal.  Geez, you'd think they would know how to spell it.  It was from Faulkner, written in 1930, "As I Lay Dying."

If you know me......... (VICTOR, how could we not? You got a big mouth/keyboard, you share EVERYTHING.)..  Ahm, if you know me, you know I'm a simpleton and my life includes work, sports, golf, family, pets, gambling (I usedta anyways) , "light" and uh huh, an occasional beer. NO WHERE in there is reading a book.  I ain't read a book in it's entirety since forced to in 6th grade probably.

OK, I admit.  I've missed some good stuff.  The book, kinda hard to read to fully unnnerstand life back in the 1930's... but man oh man.  I was on the edge of my chair (yes, belly hanging over since you say I tell everything) and Faulkner had me.  Nutting but me, the lights out, my chromebook, and 280 pages from 4pm to 9pm.

So, in answer to your question.... (VICTOR, we never asked a question)... Oh, I thought I heard "how was your day yesterday?? Sorry.

I kinda had a dead day.

Hug a loved one and don't forget, laughter can help ease ugly tears.

Love, Victurd