Act naturally......

Damn you're old.... which, could also be spelled, written "Damn your old, because, uh huh, I am too."

I DID NOT know this song wasn't a Beatles original... 'twas written by Johnny Russell and Voni Morrison (not Van!) and, published for Buck Owens and the Buckaroos in 1963...  Two full years before Ringo got his grubby hands on it, the Beatles recorded it and sang in on the ("Really Big") Ed Sullivan Show!

They're gonna put me in the movies
They're gonna make a big star out of me
We'll make a film about a man that's sad and lonely
And all I gotta do is act naturally

The song is obviously about a jilted lover... and I think I remember hearing it's tough to act naturally after same.

Well, I bet you I'm gonna be a big star
Might win an Oscar, you can never tell
The movie's gonna make me a big star
'Cause I can play the part so well

Come on Baby, let's do the Twist (which ole Chubby sang a few years earlier).. but, let's twist this around a tad. When is it hard to actually act naturally?  Silent fart on an elevator... I'd be sweatin', FULLA guilt. You're 12. The pitcher throws a curveball. The first one ya ever seen.

Well, I hope you come and see me in the movies
Then I'll know that you will plainly see
The biggest fool that ever hit the big time
And all I gotta do is act naturally

A lttie snotnose, first time on the diving board. I LOVE WATCHING THAT.  Trepidation comes naturally.  The first time ya meet your future inlaws.  Put a tent around it, I dunno about you, but I was shaking like crazy. (Basta's, said lovingly, made cookies, but, on purpose used salt insteada sugar just to see whether I'd act naturally, or not.)

We'll make the scene about a man that's sad and lonely
And begging down upon his bendin' knee
I'll play the part and I won't need rehearsing
All I have to do is act naturally

Sure, the news "We're having a baby!".. but... whadda 'bout my buddy and his wife... their trip to see the Doc and the Sonogram... "Now, there's the arms, there's the legs.. here's the head, and, over here is the other one." How do you behave after that huh? Ya run to Sears cause they have everything, but, now ya gotta buy double.

Well, I bet you I'm gonna be a big star
Might win an Oscar, you can never tell
The movie's gonna make me a big star
'Cause I can play the part so well

You're fired.  I want a divorce.  You're zipper is down. And how do you act natural when you have an itchy itchy rash?  The first time ya drove.  Imagine being dyslexic, walking to the stage in your cap and gown, "oh sh*t, which way is it?"

Well, I hope you come and see me in the movies

Then I'll know that you will plainly see
The biggest fool that ever hit the big time
And all I gotta do is act naturally

Hearing you got the job. Hearing you didn't get the job.  Getting old and not hearing.  LOOK! A THOUSAND DOLLARS ON MY SCRATCH OFF TICKET! Excuse me while I kiss the sky!

We're breaking up..mom, dad, I'm gonna come live in the basement.  Honey? Some excitement! My folks are building a brand spankin new house, construction starts tomorrow - it'll be ready in six months and they're gonna come stay with us in the meantime.

Ya wanna (wink wink).?. "Nope".  Damnit darnit.

It's January..  You overdid it a tad for Christmas.  Of course, the washer goes out.  The hot water heater too. (WHY, do they call it a hot water heater?) The computer on the car goes out... Little Jimmy, now living in the basement, wants fitty for groceries.

All we gotta do is, act naturally.

THE BOSS SAYS.............  "About your vacation next week."  or, Salary review time, "We're excited to get all of our employees up to industry standard, the problem is, you're already there." (I acted pretty naturally until the 12th year I heard that)

Let's have another baby? (Acting naturally, "How bout we just practice instead?")  He really won the election?  VICTOR!  Well hell, ain'tya gotta practice vitriol?

You pass gas.... then you question that. VICTOR! Eh, happens.  A wayward text or email.  Tripping. Mistakenly waving at a stranger.  "Ladies and gentlemen, we're expecting some turbulence ahead............

You get your FIRST Social Security Check! Like clockwork, midnight, third Wednesday of the month... backflip, backflip, how can i act naturally? I ain't workin, but, I getta check every month!.. ... then a buddy asks "Whatsup?" "Nothin' but the rent, hamburger, coffee, orange juice, clothes, utlities, car repairs." (Toldya you shoulda extended your car warranty.)

It's all Sir Isaac Newton's fault. "For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction."

Yes, but how so do we do that naturally?

This was lame, sorry, but par for the course allows you to act naturally.

Love, Victurd