AY, CHIHUAHAHA! HEY! WAIT, leggo. Here's my driver's license.. See my hair? It's reddish... I've got some Irish in me... oh, and German...NO, WAIT! Also, English and a tad of Osage. Born in St. Louie... whew, close one.
The ...---.., thanks for asking, is Morse Code for SOS. My father was a Code guy in WWII. He never enjoyed fun. JK. He would dit dit dit dot dot dot (Lionel Richie) all night long when I was a kid. And too, he'd raise his arm, holler "HEIL HITLER!" then, under his breath add "In case we lose."
So, of course, we're gonna talk Sports.
Victor, you need GPS for your blog, we're friggin' always lost. Me too, that's what I enjoy the most!
In Sport's news.........
Royal's 2nd Baseman Jonathan India CUT HIS HAIR. Good gosh i hope it makes him hit better... HEY, calm down, this ain't social media, it's a blog, scram!
Article in the paper this morning about a dude the Royal's signed (Pitcher, Alex Lange, went to Lees Summit West HS, lived 20 minutes from the Stadium).. "Oh man, we used to go to games for five bucks... park for five bucks. Dollar hot dog nights, we'd down as many as we could." I think one'a the new hires in the Royal's PR Department was formally a Butcher at Hy Vee before because virtually in the same breath he announced "insteada Dollar Dog night every Friday, it's gonna be once a month now instead."
WHO LEFT THE DOGS OUT? Hey, it cost a lotta money to build a stadium.
Speakin'a dogs.....
Surprise (Arizona)... Pitchers, Catchers and Dogs reported yesterday. Salvy, last year rookie phenom Carter Jensen (catchers) shook hands with all the pitchers (Michael, Seth, Kris, Lucas, Carlos, Cole, etc, "And over here, this'here is Barry, he's Bobby and Maggie Witt's Bernedoodle (a Poodle and Bermese Mountain Dog for those'a you keepin track'a draft status) Preseason Bark at the Park. Hey, nobobby said he couldn't bring him.
And finally........
STAY OUTTA THE KITCHEN!
Right about when Pickleball was making it's meteoric rise across the land, affliction set in for me. Which, was fine cause I always sucked at racket/paddle sports anyways. (VICTOR that is so not true.. don't you remember 1971, your hair was filthy long, you went [kinda] to Maple Woods Junior College... you skipped SO MANY classes (I know, I remember... a 1.6 GPA) BUT, you spent so much time "during class" in the Student Union that you at least became semi proficient in something and you won BOTH the foosball AND the ping pong intramural tourneys? Oh yeah, thanks. I forgot, or, was trying to)
THE KITCHEN.
Apparently, the Kitchen is the small rectangle on either side of the net...where ya can't hit the ball out of for fear you might knock an opponent over due to the closeness of it all. So, it's gotta bounce in there, then you can hit it but ya still can't hit it whilst any part of your person is in the kitchen.
I'm tellin'ya, Pickleball is some serious stuff. At least it is, was, at the Spruce Creek Country Club in Florida yesterday. A friendly game amongst seniors. The Sapienza's (Anthony, 63 and Julianne, fitty one) were playing another couple when Anthony accused a the lady on the other team of hitting (SMASHING) the ball at his wife while standing in the KITCHEN. Now this, again, was a big deal, I think it was a loser's bracket match in the Weekly Class B Senior Tourney.
The other guy apparently said "Nuh uh, she wasn't in the kitchen!".... Anthony no likey the answer. The winners were walking off when Anthony yelled "YOUR WIFE IS A (ENTER A VERY UGLY WORD HERE)" Ruh roh, paddles was'a flyin, Anthony used the handle to 'say hi' to the other dude's nose, drawing blood, THEN, knocked down his wifey who was trying to save him.. you know, the one who stepped in the kitchen.. Julianne jumped in, got a lick in for good measure, Someone called 911 (Had my pa been there he woulda done his ...---... thing)
Anthony said "Come on Julianne, jump in"... drove away in some kinda getaway car..cops came to their house... She, one count of felony battery on a person over 65, he, TWO counts of felony battery on a person over 65. Folks at the Spruce Creek had no further comment other than to say the court had been wiped up and that matches were ongoing.
It's just another day......du du du du du du.. .
"Honey?" Yeah? Breakfast... you want me to cook up some ...---...? (Same ole Same ole?) ah, hmmm. Nah, let's take a break from the kitchen today and go to the Awful Waffle. Deal, I'll get the car.
Tune in tomorrow (I wouldn't, if I were you)...ya never know when I'll write one worse than this.
Happy day,
Love, Victurd
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