Breaking Kansas City News........
"Whatta you gonna do today?" "Oh... i dunno... I thought about going down to the Ameristar Casino... stirring things up a bit.... getting kicked out... then, run outside, hop in the sewer drainage pipe thing and see if I can crawl and make it under the parking lot and over to 210 Highway. (a half mile or so)" She did just that (tried anyways) but.... once she was about 300 yards into the sewer pipe, it started getting smaller and smaller and smaller. Ruh ruh. Fortunately, she had her phone, even more fortunately, it worked from down there...... Blessings to the EMT's that crawled in and fetched her out.
She is up for "The Weirdest Kansas City Stunt" for 2026.... The Award will be presented early 2027 at a brief dinner at Hamburger Marys. The presenter will be the 2022 Award winner Johnathon.. the guy that rode the ATV down I-435... the wrong way.... Naked. In attempt to fill the joint up, they've invited the 2021 National Award winner, Stephen to attend. (he's the one that climbed the Trump Tower using suction cups 'cause he "wanted to talk to Donald.")
Avid hunters, backed by the Pennsylvania NRA, are collecting signatures in Jefferson County, PA in hopes of getting a measure on the April ballot that would add an open hunting season for 'Marmota monax's' (Ground Hogs) for the month of January, 2027.. Signs at a rally nearby stated "We're sick of Phil... how much sun (or shadow) could a Woodchuck see if a Woodchuck was fulla pellets'? Punxsutawney is the County seat of Jefferson County. PETA and Climate activists are expected to protest should there be an election.
GoodRX, with the announcement of the Greatest RX plan we've ever seen, has filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. On a connected note, an anonymous White House Staffer was fired after it was found he sent press releases to both CNN and FOX announcing "An erection will happen for the CEO of TrumpRX in May." The running joke going around Capitol Hill was "Why would it take three months for that?"
On second thought, I ain't sure I got the wherewithal to cover the daily News, make a report every single day. In fact, I think I'll go have a glass of Scotch so it'll help me take a long nap. "On the rocks?".. Nah, straight up is fine.
Love, Victurd
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