Momma was'a kissin' Santa Claus.... Junior was busy sellin' cars....... dial him up, BR-549..... Poor Jenny was hounded and hounded, and finally had to block the idiot's number, 867-5309.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer.... the unmistakable cloven hoof marks on Grandma's hands.... Grandpa (and his best friend) was'a havin' their faculties tested - as nightly they'd sing, ask, "Where oh where are you tonight...."
Cousin Mick worked 7 days a week at the KC Assembly Plant, and, as he'd drive his F150 there he'd sing, "another Pleasant Valley Sunday."...
Second cousin Victor Willis sucked in his financial affairs, finally got evicted.. with no 'first month, last month' to live elsewhere - he put everything in his backpack and moved into the YMCA. Still, outwardly happy, at the annual family reunion, he told all his disbelieving relatives "It's fun to stay at the Y M C A"... his brother Arnold just shook his head and said "What'chu talkin' about Willis?"
Kenny, and a host of others in the shelter house were havin' fun at the back corner pick-a-nic table playing some penny ante poker.. knowin' it was time to walk away Kenny got up and did just that. "Oh come on, Kenny.. the fun was just'a startin'... come on back, we'll talk some Politics.." Into a dead sprint, Kenny knew when to run.
"Well... then come back and we'll talk Royals"...... about this time Aunt Petula grabbed her acoustic guitar.. "When you're alone and life is making you lonely you can always go, Downtown."
"Well Kenny, howabout them Chiefs?"... Aunt Carrie, in town from Denver, took Petula's guitar and started singing "Before He Cheats"... Poor Uncle Rodney, donned in his vintage Chief's sweatshirt mumbled something about not getting any respect.
The snotnoses, undoubtedly fueled by a heapin' helpin' of chocolate chip cookies - ran, in, out, around and over the pick-a-nick tables - got so loud one'a the adults, forget who, hollered "QUIT ACTING YOUR AGE!".... One by one they immediately calmed down, went, sat by their folks - ne'er a problem the rest of the day. Braniff, believe it.
The Bonanza of food Uncle Hop Sing had prepared was reduced to empty tupperware thingys, except for seven deviled eggs in one, but the flies had gotten the better part of them.
Everyone was pretty tired. It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty delta day. The McAlister family still had to drive over the river and through the woods to the other grandparent's house. Dad, Billie Joe, stood up, said "Come on, I'll drive."
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