Funnel....

Scale back.

Practice.  Ya don't practice to be old when you're younger. Ya just deal with stuff as it comes.  Like, "Since when did that inch and a half hair start growing on my ear?"  "I never hated these stairs before....in fact, I usedto hum, sing, dance, even skip every other one as I made my way to the top."

We scale back.  Funnel.

Funnel cakes at the Fall Festival?  LOVE TO, except, Doc says "Watch your p's and q's" and in this case, that means carbs and sugars.

"Hey, let's go to the Lake!"........... I vote, "let's pretend we do, then don't."  For years, buddies bootscooted early at noon on Friday, sped to the Lake, had the energy to stop, grab goodies, stuff to help fix up the lake house. hors d'oeuvres for friends, neighbors, fill the gas jug for the boat...grab a couple new noodles.. clean, mow, dust, change sheets, all that.... readying for two days of parties. Hustle back Sunday night, driving in the dark......  Get up the next Friday and do it all again.

Now............ hell to the no.  All that crap (the preparation) that could once be done in a few hours - has translated to.......I get to the lake house, I work my watoosie off... by the time it's cleaned, mowed, laundered... it's Sunday morning and i sureashell ain't driving back in the dark.  Take these ribbons from the hair and put the damn place up with Keller Williams, we ain't goin' no damn whar' next weekend, and the weekend after that, et al.

Funnel.

With the advent of getting the heck away from Stereos, DVD players, yada... CABLE IS HERE!  Gimme the biggest dayum package ya got! Feed me a hunnerd and ninety two channels Seymour, or Spectrum. We can afford that! Then, ya take this job and shove it... but, along with that comes... oh hell, how am I gonna pay for all this crap.  Look Honey, channel 371 is the Spanish Local News. We don't need that!

So, we funnel.  Cut the chord.  We'll stream. Hey, Youtube has a special rate of $49.99 for five months, let's do that, then cancel, then maybe we'll just do Netflix and Discovery Plus.... we don't need no stinking 412 channels. The carnival barker at Spectrum drug us in, now, they've raised their rates more than 47's term (sorry, kinda i guess) and more than Farmland foods has ground beef.

LinkedIn.  Expand our friendship numbers.  As we age, nope, nada, no longer.  Life is now lived with one eyebrow raised as we cipher any, everything in our path (especially humans) and we ain't gots the time nor the want to... for... "Hey, nice to meet you, shoot me  your phone number so I can put it in my phone."  Huh huh. I know how (let's use Charlie, a ficticious name here) as an example.  Charlie is a good friend, I ain't gotta figure him out.. I know his likes, dislikes, habits, that.. in spitea sometimes he ain't taken a bath for a couple days.. .there are no surprises in our friendship.

Funnel. We funnel people.

Come to think of it.  When we're young, that LARGE parta the funnel is at the top... we take it all, much, in.  Even in college (although I'll never ever do the funnel beer bong thing again).

Then... we age.  We get fat. Screw your Chicken Fat record... I ain't runnin' no 600 yard dash... I even hate these stairs... so.......we turn the tunnel over... and suddenly, it looks like us in the mirror.  Uh huh, skinny little wimpy arms at top, big ole fat butt at the bottom.  Eh, it is what it is.....and... I don't think the Doc would get upset if, just once (or twice) during the Fall Festival, I eats me a funnelcake.

We funnel...........scale back.. on the hours 9pm thru midnight.  Huh uh, no, hells to the no.  MAYBE NYE, but too, that's kinda doubtful.  If nothing else, we'll stay up until 11 and watch the East Coast celebrate like we's there too.

Now, with bedtime before even the late, local news comes on, means, oh crap, we're up early. Hella early. Now what?  Well, pee comes to mind.  Oatmeal. Must I?  Make me up some biscuits and gravy honey, oh... we got any pancake mix?

All day................now whatta we do?  We usedta resemble a balloon that had been pricked, and go go go go go....... until real late and we's worn out like a kid on a long car ride. No longer.  That balloon's air flows strong now, we collapse around 10am for, nap number one.  Around 2pm, we flip the damn phone to do not disturb (who cares, remember? We scaled back our friend list... odds are they ain't gonna call anyways).. and we take nap number two.  Honey? Wake me in time for...........oh, nevermind. Heck, I can durn near watch Family Feud any time'a day.. AFV too.

Victor, we wish you would funnel back on how long your damn blogs are.

Done, finito.  Happy day.. or happy half day... happy naps..  I'm off to watch election ads.. 

Ha, love, Victurd