I'm hooked on........ ooga-chaka ooga-ooga

People are strange, namely me.  There are four of us that play golf a few times a week. Same four.  Same results.  I finish last.  Same guy finishes first.  I hit two (or three) in woods.  We drink a beer or three.  We go home, we do it again soon.

But....... there are many (MANY) times these idiotic four 69 year old, 70 year old somethings, break out in song between shots. (I know, I thought weird too.).. It could be "I see a little silhouette of a man, Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the fandango".........Or.. when your ball is on the green and it's in the way of the guy who's turn it is to putt, you can't find a coin to 'mark it', so you sing "There's a hole in my pocket dear Liza dear Lisa"...

Or, "Can anybody... find me...  someome to love."....... or, "Hit the road Jack.."..  or..  "Hello baby.. yeah this is the big bopper speakin'...ha ha ha ha ha..  Oh, you sweet thing.. Do I what?.. Will I what?.. Oh baby you know what I like."

The accompanying stench to our singing keeps dangerous varmits away, as well as chiggers, mosquitos. We are of the age we don't give a rats what anyone thinks, thus, (for us), FUN.

One day I gave it the ole "Ooga-chaka ooga-ooga"...one guy swore I made it up.. (Hell, I mighta already blogged about that, oh well, I repeat myself, sorry.)  Another guy said "BJ Thomas?  Hooked on a Feeling?"...

Upon further review, kinda sorta.  A childhood friend of BJ's, Mark James, actually wrote the song. James be a perty good songwriter - as, also to his credit he wrote "Suspicious Minds" for Elvis and Willie's "Always on My Mind."

The kinda-sorta part.  Ooga-chaka ooga-ooga wasn't in BJ's version.  A couple years after BJ recorded it, Jonathan King added the ooga-chaka ooga-ooga. (It's kinda fun to say, especially amongst buds on the golf course.)

Then, a Blue Swede singer Bjorn Skifs and producer Bengt Palmers (Vanna honey, tell Mr. Sajak I'd like to buy a couple vowels for these guys) took King's lyrics, released it, BOOM, big hit. (Appeared in a trailer for 'Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2").....

It is suggested the ooga-chaka bit was kinda sorta stolen, mimicked from George Jones' 1962 song Runnin' Bear and it's "uga-uga uga-uga" chants.. (We have not sung Running Bear on the golf course, but we do admit to peeing behind a tree when called for.)

Upon further review.  My opine only of course, I knda think the history of (some) songs is almost as yummy as the song itself.

Runnin' Bear was actually written by Jiles Perry Richardson - you might know him better by the name "The Big Bopper." Well Bop actually gave it to Johnny Preston to sing in 1959, a couple years before ole' George recorded it.

There is tragedy, ALL ABOUT.  Preston recorded it shortly after "The day the music died", ie, the 1959 plane crash that killed Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and The Big Bopper.

Preston's 1960 version ironically came just after Marty Robbins' "El Paso" and just before Mark Dinning's "Teen Angel", both of which feature a death of, or affecting, the protagonist.

Running Bear ends tragically as well.   It's about 'A young indian brave' and Little White Dove, an indian maid. The two are in love..........but......

Their tribes hate each other. And, they are each on the opposite side of a raging river. Against all odds, they each jump into the river, share a passionate kiss, are swept under by the current, drown, thus "Now they'll always be together, in their happy hunting ground."

That about wraps that up.  I'm off to play in, literally, an old fart golf tourney at the course (We actually tee off from the women's tees, don't tell nobody.. please.)  If you can think of any catchy ooga-chaka ooga-ooga, or uga--uga uga-uga-like songs for us to sing, please leave it in the remarks.

Can anybody....... find me...  someone to love (that doesn't give a rats how crappy of a golfer or singer that I am.)

Love, Victurd     (Forward by Jack Nicklaus, Ed Ames and Bo Diddly)

If we be blessed.......

We'll see fall. Those of us smack dab in the middle of the US really ain't got much choice on seasons. Those of you further South, maybe ain't got seasons. (I Googled "Do tree leaves fall in Hawaii?"..  "Nobody hibernates. Island trees don't drop their leaves, they flush with new growth.")

According to some site I read, Fall is the favorite season of American folks with 29% that prefer an autumnal climate. (Summer 25%, Winter 7%, and whateverintheheck that leaves for Spring.)

I'm on Facebook. I have friends on Facebook that list Winter as their favorite season.  I think they are nuts, but isn't everyone on Facebook nuts?

Thieving again, I found 'have a gourd time'... 'orange you glad it's autumn'... 'I only have pies for you'... 'Hay there'..  'I'm so corn-fused.' ... 'Let's just fall it a day'....   'Don't sweat the fall stuff.'

'Leaf me alone'...  'If money grew on trees we'd be raking it in.'.  'Don't leaf me hanging.'

'Give em pumpkin to talk about.'..  'Let's get lit'..  'Smashing pumpkins.'  'Pumpkin pi.'

Closets get a makeover..  Short sleeves to long..  Sweaters, jackets are hung... Shorts tucked away, long pants now the thing.  I wouldn't know but I surmise thongs are put away and granny panties are in order so buttcheeks are protected from cold. Save room in the undie drawer for longjohns.

I usedta feel sorry for the deer and only having rut season to you-know. Now, we lonesome George creepy geezers are kinda envious and would like our (few) day(s) in the hay as well. (That's not an advertisement and I never said the word pitchfork.  You are sick Victor.  Eh, mebbe.)

It gets darker earlier thus you youngsters get prime time at restaurants, bars, plays, movies, yada because us old farts can't see the damn white lines in the dark. Also, fall/darkness brings falls and whilst that may keep ER docs, nurses employed, it ain't a good thing for AARP.  Fall brings hoedowns, but not of the ER ilk, I'm talking the fiddle ilk.

Snowbirds get the RV ready to get the hell outta Dodge... us clingers that stay home tuck the mower, shovels, garden hoses in the corner in the garage, and, tune up the $650 snow blower we use twice a year.

In Fall, baseaball teams are whittled down to two... Football is the rage, all bundled up to watch, and those of us that forgot to pack a blankie or bring a stadium seat are guaranteed pink buttcheeks thanks to aluminum bleachers.

Bonfires, hayrides, pumpkins, cornstalks, indian corn, corn mazes, trick or treaters.

The trees, yes, they do turn perty.... oranges.. yellows.. deep red.. then the damn leaves fall (it's fall).. and we either mulch 'em, compost 'em, or, blow 'em over into the Simmon's yard.

We Midwesterners always announce "I love the seasons" and we'll leave it to you to figure out if our fingers are crossed behind our back.

Some of my favorite things about Fall...  The inside.  You can generally see your breath which correlates to still living.  The pure joy and excitement of changing the battery in the smoke detector on 'Fall back' day. Those fairly rare pleasant days where you can take the golf clubs outta the garage, go play and pull a muscle cause yain't exercised since July. Yum huh?

OK, truth be known, I love, except for the fact I get another year older every October. OK, I don't mind that either, I know we still here are blessed. I love the World Series.  I love the invigoration one is given between the time you exit the house and the car heater starts to get warm.

I DO love the trees and their changes. I've seen God's glory of the Aspens in Colorado, a bucket list is a trip to Cooperstown in the fall which would include a long drive in Upstate New York to see the colors.

I don't care what Tyreek Hill or Sammy Watkins say, we've got the best damn quarterback in the land right here in river city...... as well as the best, loudest, fans. Red Fridays tug at one's heart.

Frost on the pumpkin (of which Google tells us they can still live for awhile even if the vine dies, but, once it hits 20 degrees, huh uh.)  Frost on the golf green, and once it melts it's game on.

Ladies with pretty red noses. Family gatherings that include TWO pieces of pie.  Going to the gym, and you go 'shhhh, listen'... and you discover there ain't no snotnoses cause they're all in school, said lovingly of course.

The end of Fall is kinda drab, colorless, El Boro...... mebbe just like this specific blog. Tune in tomorrow, when I won't post one... yeah, that'll be better!

Love, Victurd

*Tune in in a few months and we'll dicuss that wonderful thing Winter, as well as cuss those that still have droopy dried up pumkins on their front porch in December.

Happiness for a simpleton....

Seeing an elderly couple walking hand in hand... or, simply helping each other in and out of the car.

The tail wag of the dog, the knead of a cat..

As a child...... cotton candy..... a peanut buster parfait.... a nickel mug of root beer..  a vanilla phosphate.... the stick of gum straight outta the baseball card pack....  mom's Spanish rice... mulberries after a 12' climb to get 'em...   granny's chocolate pie... peanut M&M's.... funnel cakes..  the cinnamon rolls at school, yum..

As a big person..  fall or the bone ribs... lasagna..  ok, I'll stop, this is boring, each person has their likes and dislikes!

The look on the face of a kid thatsa movin' without training wheels for the first time....   a child hoisted on mom or dad's shoulders so they can see too.. 

A jogger, but not your everday Runner's World Magazine, or marathon man, 10K kinda jogger.  A jogger who quite obviously ain't jogged in awhile and has the fortitude to get out there and go, maybe hurt a little bit, with great effort for personal betterness.

YOLO... BOGO... ILY..  ILY2... TY..  ROFL..  

First time ever for a little one to go off the diving board..   A mom, dad or even a grandma or grandpa that shows the kids, "hey, I too can go off the diving board!"

Being at any kind of baseball game - you almost always see something yain't seen before.

Seeing an old friend.....  Seeing a young friend...

Life when the tailgater on your heels gets the yellow light and you are free to laugh for 30 seconds or so.....

Farts....

A cow in a pond, a hog lazing in a muddy earthen..  A hawk soaring above.. A deer almost tippy toeing thru the woods...

A snake (in an aquarium.. going back down into it's hole.. or, shortly after a visit to the taxidermist.)

Karma.....

Being blessed to age...  Finding someone in WalMart that is actually older..  Being in a retail establishment, having to pee, and, after asking clerk where the john is, it's so close you don't have to do the pee pee dance to get there on time..

Jumping into bed after a fun day....  Jumping into bed only to find the smell of the sheets that just came offa the clothesline.. Jumping into bed and there awaits..- well, you know.

Rain, thunder observed, heard, from a screened in porch... Sunshine, but with a gentle breeze...  A fairly warm day but being graced with God's blanket of clouds...

A couple that sidesteps divorce court only to remember they both like pina coladas, gettin' caught in the rain, the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne.. makin' love at midnight... batteries recharged so to speak.

Eyeballs here.   Eyeballs on a beautiful person.. Eyeballs on a puppy - discovering things for a first time.. Eyeballs on a loved one..  

Being at the movie theater, the movie ends.. it's quiet.. the tear ain't dry yet..  you feel like you just ran a marathon, you don't wanna get up, you're emotionally exhausted, but DAMN, it was good.

Hello's.. fist bumps..  high fives from a kid..  

Certain noises..  the coffee's done perculatin'.. . a helicopter above..  the mower that starts after the pull..  music so good you can't sit still...   "Play ball".. "Say cheese"..  "Dearly beloved".... remembering the voices of those that have departed...

Parades.. the mechanical wave of the queen sitting up on the back of the convertible.. watching, listening to kids in hysterics after they just saw a horse poop.. bands in precision..  little ones marching and an appreciation for them as they must take twice the steps of others..

Full fledged naps..  Easy chair unintended naps where you wakeup and think "oh hell, what time is it?"

A dog and a tennis ball..  a dog on the leash awaiting a nice walk..  a dog off his leash going wherever in the hell he wantsta..  a dog so excited he's running in circles..  

Toothpaste, mouthwash, shampoo, a warm relaxing bath where their ain't no damn hurry to get out.

Getting outta the heat and into the cold.  Getting outta the cold and into the heat.

A pond, a lake, a stream, a river, an ocean. A camera. 99% on a cell phone.

When things go as planned.  When things don't go as planned, you manage, and you are actually damn proud of yourself.

Batman, goblins and Elsa knocking on your door in October..   Santa with his REAL beard..

People gathered for just about anything.. a concert.. a ball game.. a parade.. a child's school performance..  a Fall Festival.. a movie..  and recognizing, "hey, we can do this, there ain't one GD (gosh darn) thought about politics, political party, no name calling, we peacefully can exist. (Together) (Us Americans.) The Turtles might even write a song, "Happy Together...Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba."

Once I was an elementary school teacher..  I loved my boss, the Principal.  She taught me, maybe my 'favorist' all time advice: "Catch 'em doing good."  Yum.

I would bet, if she were still around, and she could read this, she might add "Catch yourself being happy.. there is sooooo much out there to be happy about."

By Henry Hallmark Gibson.   Forward by Bert, Ernie and Mr. Rogerts

Love, Victurd

imagine if you will, lads from all walks of life...

Farm towns, suburbia towns, big ole cities, this State, that State.  All kindsa sizes - 5'6" to 6'6", a buck fifty to 300+. A mixture of football players, baseball players, swimmers, basketball players, soccer players, artists, musicians, with some regular ole regular guys thrown in. A mixture of economic backgrounds with the vast majority leaning toward 'work-study' jobs, grants, scholarships, ie, need.

Gathered for education, sport, women, fun, hi-jinks, and not necessarily always in that order. Crammed, 30+, into a ten bedroom home - and many of those bedrooms were actually partitioned chunks of the basement, or offshoots of an offshoot of a bedroom. Music, music of the 60's and 70's blared from room to room.  It could be rough to find quiet to study, but if so, one just jumped in the car and headed for The Hill, the place where this education was to happen.

Theses guys were best exemplified by Wally Clever types - but the bean counters and marshal at arms of The Hill, from day 1, watched with one eyebrow furrowed, and from their notes taken, it was suggested the guys were more like Eddie Haskell.. with an Ernest T Bass and an Otis thrown in.

Do good.  There was much do good by the guys. Not only on the athletic courts, fields, music rooms - but in academia in general - and the community, they did things for little kids. Cool things, charitable things.

But the beancounters were unrelenting.  "I'm sorry sir, we have no idea how those 42 For Sale signs showed up in that one fraternity's yard.".... "The Sambos mat by  the downstair's bathroom?  Ahm, it's a gift from one of our alums who is the Director of Franchise Opportunities for Sambo's." Maybe they didn't all start out like choir boys, but some did sing in the choir.

Over the course of four years (5, even 6 for some) these men gathered degrees (and or tons of knowledge) and either headed home or made the town of The Hill, home. Much happened in between.

Fellowship. A fellowship like you ain't never seen. I've got your back Jack.  Brothers. Eternally united. Intramurals, skits, plays, floats, creative songs. They studied together.  The guys shared rides across the land during Summers, weekends, Spring breaks.  One Spring break, 27 of 'em drove 24 hours non-stop for fun and frivolity on Padre Island. Occasionally, they even partied together.

Basically, their time stuffed in that ten bedroom home, was the time of their life.  They maybe didn't realize it at the time, but it was. Some grabbed a coed, made a home.  All, eventually headed out to be positive role models in society.  Ya had teachers, coaches, athletic directors, principals, superintendents, lawyers, judges, specialized trades, managers, supervisors, Vice Presidents, CEO's and more.  Imagine that, Eddie, Ernest T and Otis coming out like that in the wash.

What the bean-counting, marshal at arms were unaware of, these gents all abided by the creed of their fraternity. 

To believe in the life of love. Love thy wife, child, family. To keep the sainted memory of our loved and lost, their faults forgotten, their virtues enshrined in our hearts forever. To try bravely to do unto our fellow man as they would undo to us.

To walk in the way of honor. To realize deeply the baseness of deceit, that no obligation will be more binding than our plighted word. Spurn the gifts of greed and power, to be content to live by our knightly vow of honor. Emulate the chivalrous deeds of courtesy, and sealing not our hearts against the touch of tenderness.

To serve in the light of truth. To seek in nature, the meaning of Infinite Truth. To believe in the melody of birds, the laughter of children, the unmeasured sacrifice of motherhood. The spirit of hope and faith which soothes the hurt of grief, heals the wound of wrong, and calms the fever of doubt.

One day each of those men that were crammed into that house walked out for the last time. As they passed The Hill one last time there was no urge to scorn the bean-counters or marshal at arms, moreso, a lust, a thirst, to go, life a life of love, walk in the way of honor, and serve in the light of truth.

Most would tell you, it was the time of their lives and certainly a wonderful preparation for life.

We lost a good one yesterday.  He lived the life of love, he walked in the way of honor and he served in the light of truth. God Bless and RIP Sir - we loveya, always will.

(Please know, I love you all - but please no "I'm sorry for your loss," as it was the loss for all of us, thanks.)

Imagine if you will, lads from all walks of life.......

Imagine if you will, lads from all walks of life. Farm towns, suburbia towns, big ole cities, this State, that State.  All kindsa sizes - 5'6" to 6'6", a buck fifty to 300+. A mixture of football players, baseball players, swimmers, basketball players, soccer players, artists, musicians, with some regular ole regular guys thrown in. A mixture of economic backgrounds with the vast majority leaning toward 'work-study' jobs, grants, scholarships, ie, need.

Gathered for education, sport, women, fun, hi-jinks, and not necessarily always in that order. Crammed, 30+, into a ten bedroom home - and many of those bedrooms were actually partitioned chunks of the basement, or offshoots of an offshoot of a bedroom. Music, music of the 60's and 70's blared from room to room.  It could be rough to find quiet to study, but if so, one just jumped in the car and headed for The Hill, the place where this education was to happen.

Theses guys were best exemplified by Wally Clever types - but the bean counters and marshal at arms of The Hill, from day 1, watched with one eyebrow furrowed, and from their notes taken, it was suggested the guys were more like Eddie Haskell.. with an Ernest T Bass and an Otis thrown in.

Do good.  There was much do good by the guys. Not only on the athletic courts, fields, music rooms - but in academia in general - and the community, they did things for little kids. Cool things, charitable things.

But the beancounters were unrelenting.  "I'm sorry sir, we have no idea how those 42 For Sale signs showed up in that one fraternity's yard.".... "The Sambos mat by  the downstair's bathroom?  Ahm, it's a gift from one of our alums who is the Director of Franchise Opportunities for Sambo's."

Over the course of four years (5, even 6 for some) these men gathered degrees (and or tons of knowledge) and either headed home or made the town of The Hill, home. Much happened in between.

Fellowship. A fellowship like you ain't never seen. I've got your back Jack.  Brothers. Eternally united. Intramurals, skits, plays, floats, creative songs. They studied together.  The guys shared rides across the land during Summers, weekends, Spring breaks.  One Spring break, 27 of 'em drove 24 hours non-stop for fun and frivolity on Padre Island. Occasionally, they even partied together.

Basically, their time stuffed in that ten bedroom home, was the time of their life.  They maybe didn't realize it at the time, but it was. Some grabbed a coed, made a home.  All, eventually headed out to be positive role models in society.  Ya had teachers, coaches, athletic directors, principals, superintendents, lawyers, judges, specialized trades, managers, supervisors, Vice Presidents, CEO's and more.  Imagine that, Ernest T and Otis coming out like that in the wash.

What the bean-counting, marshal at arms were unaware of, these gents all abided by the creed of their fraternity. 

To believe in the life of love. Love thy wife, child, family. To keep the sainted memory of our loved and lost, their faults forgotten, their virtues enshrined in our hearts forever. To try bravely to do unto our fellow man as they would undo to us.

To walk in the way of honor. To realize deeply the baseness of deceit, that no obligation will be more binding than our plighted word. Spurn the gifts of greed and power, to be content to live by our knightly vow of honor. Emulate the chivalrous deeds of courtesy, and sealing not our hearts against the touch of tenderness.

To serve in the light of truth. To seek in nature, the meaning of Infinite Truth. To believe in the melody of birds, the laughter of children, the unmeasured sacrifice of motherhood. The spirit of hope and faith which soothes the hurt of grief, heals the wound of wrong, and calms the fever of doubt.

One day each of those men that were crammed into that house walked out for the last time. As they passed The Hill one last time there was no urge to scorn the bean-counters or marshal at arms, moreso, a lust, a thirst, to go, life a life of love, walk in the way of honor, and serve in the light of truth.

Most would tell you, it was the time of their lives and certainly a wonderful preparation for life.

We lost a good one yesterday.  He lived the life of love, he walked in the way of honor and he served in the light of truth. God Bless and RIP Sir - we loveya, always will.

(Please know, I love you all - but please no "I'm sorry for your loss," as it was the loss for all of us, thanks.)

Give piece a chance.....

It truly is a Wonderful World, but it took a bit to get there.

I see trees of green
Red roses too
I see them bloom
For me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Bob Thiele (as George Douglas) and his buddy George David Weiss wrote this song in 1967.  According to Lyrics Genius, it was written during the time of the Vietnam War to try and bring hope to the millions of victims suffering the effects of the war like the loss of many loved fathers, sons and husbands - as well as for the 'half cast' children who were sent away from their mothers to a foreign land with foreign people.

Weiss wrote the song specifically for Louie Armstrong to sing as he was inspired by Louie's ability to bring together people of different races.

I see skies of blue
And clouds of white
The bright blessed day
The dark sacred night
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Armstrong had a gig at the Tropicana in Vegas - but it didn't get over until Midnight.  Still, he agreed to meet Thiele and Weiss to record it at a nearby studio AFTER his performance at the Tropicana.

Armstrong had recently signed with ABC Records, and president Larry Newton showed up to snap pics of Louie. Nelson wanted a swingy song like "Hello Dolly" so when he heard the lyrics and the slow pace of Wonderful World, he tried to stop the show and he had to be physically removed and locked out so recording could continue, ie, "give the piece a chance" Larry!

The colors of the rainbow
So pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces
Of people going by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying
"I love you"

Just when it was thought all was well and good (2am by now), Louie would start singing, the musicians would start playing, then "CHOO CHOO", whistles from nearby trains would stop the recording. (Ever been to Knuckleheads!)..  Louie shook his head, laughed, and kept his composure throughout.

I hear babies cry
I watch them grow
They'll learn much more
Than I'll never know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Finally... finally.. recording was finished at 6am.  To make sure the folks in the orchestra were paid extra for their overtime, Louie accepted only union scale for his work.

Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Oh yeah

Ceptin', Nelson tweren't happy about his removal, thus, he refused to promote the song.. it reached #1 in England, but not so in the US.  There was an episode of The Muppet Show in 1978 had Rowlf the dog singing it, but it wasn't until the film "Good Morning, Vietnam" used it and was re-released in 1988 that it FINALLY hit the charts in the US.

Finally, finally, Rolling Stone, in 2021, ranked it as song #171 in "The Top 500 Best Songs of All Time."

Louie got knocked down, but he got up again.  My take, that one guy didn't know shit from Shinola. (And, as long as today is back to school, we ain't too old to learn, Shinola was a popular boot polish in the first half of the 20th Century.)

Kinda like life, and, the 440 yard hurdles, there be some obstacles in the way sometimes.  Louie jumped 'em.

I've always loved this song, loved Louie's expressions, vigor, smiles, happiness....... Now that the piece has been given a chance, I love it even more.

Now you know the rest of the story,

Harvey Paul <-- so I won't get sued for plagiarism.

Love, Victurd

Theft......

Plagiarism....   "The practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as one's own."

Davy, Davy Crockett..  Born on a mountain top in Tennessee... Kilt him a b'ar when he was only three..  Davy, Davy Crockett - King of the Wild Frontier.

I'm confused.  Fess Parker was Davy Crockett.  But too, he was Daniel Boone.

Daniel Boone was a man, yes a big man.. he was brave he was fearless and as tough as a mighty oak tree..

But too... So was Davy.. I mean Fess... I mean Daniel.. Damnit Jim...

I 'Fess' up.  I stole the below.  One might call it plagiarism, but I ain't passin' it off as mine. Turn me in, take me to jail, I won't collect $200, but I also won't haveta pay $4.99 a pound for ground beef at the Piggly Wiggly.

I was confused as all get out on what/if/should I write about.  Then I thought, "Ball of Confusion" and I done did that some time ago. I thought about writing about cliques, but nah, that would remind me of Jonathan Heasley.

Victor.  Whointhehell is Jonathan Heasley.  I'm so glad you asked.  He's a pitcher that had a really gutty performance for the KC Royal's the other night.  Poor feller.  He upchucked TWICE in one inning.  Manager stayed with him.  Did it again the next inning, manager pulled him.  Cliques make me upchuck, so nah, not about that.

I Googled confusion.  Found much.  One of 'em talked about Great Britain/The United Kingdom..   Alligators/Crocodiles..   Jam/Jelly...   Mule/Donkey...  (What happened to ass?).. Stuffing/Dressing..  I love me some Thanksgiving, but I don't eat stuffing (or dressing) and I was falling asleep reading this article, so nah.......

Found one I really liked.  I AM STEALING THIS...  IT AIN'T ME BABE. Then, that confused me. I thought Sonny and Cher sang that, I guess they did, but with Bob Dylan.  

But too...  So did the Turtles.. Johnny Cash... Nancy Sinatra.. I'm confused.  Wouldn't that make them plagiarists?

Some favorites I am admitting to stealing that I liked, you may not, but that's life and that's why it's confusing:

If you are shorter than someone, it's it possible to talk down to them?

Do prison buses have emergency exits?

Why do we cook bacon but bake cookies?

If God sneezes... . what do you say?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

If Cinderella's shoe fit so perfectly, why did it fall off?

Why do noses run but feet smell?

(See?  This beats the hell outta Daniel Boone, Davy Crockett, cliques, yada)

Why do they say you have a cold when your temperature goes up?

If you drop your soap on the floor, does the floor become clean or does the soap become dirty?

You must be really really bored if you are still here.

Which armrest is yours at a movie theater?
If cyclops were to close his eye, is it winking or blinking?

I don't understand IT crap at all.  Why did that sentence only space once insteada two like the rest?

Why is the objective of golf to play the least amount of golf? (SEE! I gets my damn money's worth!)

What do they call french kissing in France?

A baby's butt pops out of his mom at 11:59pm and the head comes out at 12:01am, what day is he born on and who decides?

Do Dentists go to other Dentists or do they treat their own dental care problems? Proctologists? <- that was mine, I ain't fessin'  I stole that.

I'm sorry, kinda.  There is much to be confused about in life.  On a serious note, "Why do bad things happen to good people?"

Humor (to me) was in order today.  There's enough messy real life stuff to be confused about, worry about.

Laugh, love, hug, kiss, include others, smile, wink, pray, fist bump, shake hands, high five, combat ugly stuff, and have a great day.

Confucius say man who sit on tack, get point.

Love, Victurd